Rocko's Modern Life

Rocko's Modern Life is an American animated series premiered on September 18, 1993 to November 24, 1996. The series follows a Wallaby named Rocko and his friends, Heffer and Filburt.

Season 1

Episode 2

A Sucker for the Suck-O-Matic [1.2a]

Rocko: I must cease this senseless sucking. It's stuck in suck!

Rocko and Heffer: (reading) "How to turn off your Suck-o-Matic..." [the page gets sucked up, and the page that reads...] "In case Suck-o-Matic sucks instructions, see page 101..." [another page gets ripped and is sucked, a page shows a skull on fire] "PREAPRE TO DIE?!?!?!" [Rocko, Heffer and Spunky scream as their eyes pop out]

Episode 3

Rocko's Happy Sack [1.3a]

Rocko: You CHEAP LITTLE ROTTER! I've been run over by a car, made to drag around a gimp shopping cart, threatened by your Gestapo security guards, had me head set on fire, I was attacked by wild lobsters, beaten by a very large woman, had me dog wrapped in plastic, nearly starved to death, and I still beat the 12:00 deadline! So if you don't change that total back to $1.50, I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE!!!!!

Episode 4

Who's For Dinner? [1.4a]

Heffer: You're not my father! you're just a jerk in wolf's clothing! [starts bawling and runs out of the front door]

[The Wolfe family glares at Rocko]

Rocko: Well, [chuckles] I'm stuffed.

---

Heffer: I guess no one loves me.

Episode 11

Power Trip [1.11a]

Rocko: FILBURT!

Filburt: Yes boss?

Rocko: I want to see you in my office IMMEDIATELY!

Filburt: Yes boss! [uses his teeth to drag himself to the office and he arrives in the office]

Rocko: Supply and demand, Filburt; supply and demand. People demand "Big Man" comics, and we supply them. If you, Filburt can't supply "Big Man", the system breaks down. Do you follow me Filburt!?

Filburt: Yes sir.

Rocko: If the system breaks down, I DON’T MAKE A PROFIT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!?

Filburt: No...? [Rocko turns around and shows Rocko is now the same shape and size Mr. Smitty is and Filburt screams in horror]

Rocko: YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!

[Rocko's breath sends away Filburt down the stairs, out of the shop and into the street. Random vehicles run over Filburt]

Filburt: Where are you, Really Really Big Man?

Season 2

Episode 5

Commuted Sentence [2.5b]

[When Rocko is later for work too many times.]

Mr. Smitty: I've tolerated your laziness for the last time, Rocko. If you are late again, consider yourself TERMINATED!!! Clear?

Rocko: Crystal.

---

[Impound Lot, everyone else is in line to get their cars back. In front of the line is a disgruntled Mr. Smitty who had parked in a no parking zone.]

Mr. Smitty: I want my car back and I want it, NOW!

Impound Lot Director: Let's take a look at this chart, shall we?

[He sternly pulls down the chart and Mr. Smitty frowns.]

Episode 13

Short Story [2.13a]

Rocko: I wish I was really big.

Tyrone: [taps his wand on Rocko's forehead, granting his wish] Done. [poofs away]

Rocko: [starts growing at a slow rate and becomes 50 feet tall] Wow! This is great. [looks down at Spunky, shaking fearfully at his height] Don't be afraid, Spunky. It's only me. [picks up Spunky and puts him in his shirt pocket] There you go, my little pal. Smell that fresh air.

Season 3

Episode 4

Old Fogey Froggy [3.4b]

Heffer: [about to lift up the bed] One... two... three... LIFT! [lifts up the mattress and Ed slides down and falls into the trash can]

Filburt: And now, for the appropriate urge.

[Bev starts crying uncontrollably as Heffer, Filburt, Rocko and she walk outside]

Heffer and Filburt: [sings the wedding march while Bev continues crying] Da dum da-dum! Da da-da-dum!

Episode 8

Fortune Cookie [3.8a]

Filburt: It is only a stupid fortune cookie. I should listen to Rocko more often.

---

Filburt: THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING! No matter what I do, the fortune is always the same! [breaks down, sadly] I'll never win Mega-Spin.

Dear John [3.8b]

Rocko: My living room, it's a bathroom. My closet is a bathroom. My basement is a bathroom! My ballroom is a bathroom! Even my bathroom is a bathroom! Well, I guess that's okay. THERE'S TOO MANY BATHROOMS!!!!

Bucky: Too many bathrooms? What do you mean? You can never have too many bathrooms.

Rocko: [enraged] GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU WACKO!!!

Wacky Deli [3.10]

Rocko: O-kay! So Betty wakes up and says "Oh, what a beautiful day". And then the telephone...

Heffer: Or doorbell!

Rocko: Or doorbell ringing, and she answers it and says "Hello?" And then the salami...

Filburt: Or cheese!

Rocko: [getting angry] Or cheese says "I hate bologna" and attacks her through the phone before belching while all the stuff comes out of his mouth while we hold on him for a long time!

[He struggles to contain his anger]

Rocko: ... Okey-dokey? So... then... she walks up to the counter, and...

Heffer: HOLD IT!

Rocko: [furious] WHAT?!

Heffer: Hmm... y'know, I was thinkin'...

Rocko: [at the limits of his patience] Yeeeeesss?!

Heffer: ...Do we really need the cheese at all?

Filburt: Why, you big stupid cow.

Heffer: What? What'd I say?

Filburt: Why do you torment me like this?

Heffer: I'd probably do now!

Filburt: Just let me do it the way I want it!

Season 4

Episode 13

Future Schlock [4.13b]

[In the future of O-Town, Filburt's sons, Gilbert and Norbert, are searching around inside Rocko's abandoned house]

Norbert: [from upstairs as sound of glass shatters] Ouch!

Gilbert: What was that?!

Norbert: I think I broke an antique!

Gilbert: [annoyed] Ah, for Pete's sake. [heads upstairs and finds Norbert in a room, sitting on the floor and holding a photo frame] What'd you break?

Norbert: It's a picture.

Gilbert: I believe the correct term was "phonograph."

---

[last lines of the series]

Rocko: So, Filb, what have you been up to these past 17 years? [beat]

Filburt: Are you kiddin'?

Heffer: [singing] Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer on the wall... / Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer...

See also

• The Ren & Stimpy Show
• SpongeBob SquarePants