Phineas and Ferb
Phineas and Ferb is a Disney Channel animated television series that centers on two stepbrothers and their adventures in their backyard during summer vacation. The series premiered worldwide on February 1, 2008.
- Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!
- Isabella: Hey Phineas. Whatcha' doooin'?
- Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
- Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
- Perry: Grrrrrrrr.
- Evil Jingle Singers: Doofenshmirtz Evil, Incorporated!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!!!
- Candace: [at the end of the theme song] Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!
- Candace: Ooh, you are sooo busted.
- Candace: Mom! Mom!
- Candace: [shocked] But-but-but-but-but...
- Random Adult: Aren't you a little young to [insert occupation here]?
- Phineas: Yes. Yes I am.
- Nagging Wife: What, did you expect [something] to just fall out of the sky? [On cue, it does, thanks to an unintentional action by Phineas and Ferb or Dr. Doofenshmirtz.]
- [First lines of the series]
- Phineas: So, Ferb, what do you want to do today? [Ferb shrugs] How about Perry? What does he want to do? [Perry makes a noise] Well, he is a platypus, they don't do much. I, for one, am starting to get bored, and boredom is something of up with which I will not put! The first thing they're going to ask us when we get back to school is "what did we do over summer?" I mean, no school for three months; our lives should be a rollercoaster! And I mean a good rollercoaster, not like that one we rode at the state fair. [a flashback is shown of Phineas and Ferb riding a rollercoaster that consists of one short drop]
- State Fair Employee: Please exit to the left. [flashback ends]
- Phineas: Man, that was lame! Why, if I built a rollercoaster I would... that's it! I know what we're going to do today!
- Mom: Phineas, Ferb, I'm going to go pick up a few things, you boys stay out of trouble, okay?
- Phineas: Okay, Mom. [Mom leaves] We're gonna build a rollercoaster!
- Isabella: (with hearts in her eyes) Hey, Phineas.
- Phineas: Hey, Isabella.
- Isabella: Whatcha doin'?
- Phineas: Building a roller coaster.
- Isabella: In your backyard?
- Phineas: Some of it.
- Isabella: Wow! Isn't that kinda impossible?
- Phineas: Some might say.
- Candace: Oh, I'm gonna go tell Mom, and when she sees what you're doing, you are going down. Down, down, down! D-O-W-N, DOWN!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus, what an unexpected surprise... and by unexpected, I mean completely expected!
- Linda: I see your point, Candace. No crazy person would scream at a post like that. I'll be in the dairy section if you want to come yell at some cheese or anything.
- Phineas: We're gonna need a blowtorch and some more peanut butter.
- Phineas: Oh there you are Perry. Hey, nice hat Isabella.
- Phineas [when he sees a satellite]: You know, if that thing falls to Earth, Candace is in charge.
- Linda [as Candace is giggling about Phineas and Ferb]: I worry about you sometimes, Candace.
- Phineas: Well, a brother is a brother... (claps Ferb on the shoulder)...but I couldn't have asked for a better one than Ferb. You know what I mean?
- (Ferb belches)
- Phineas: Oh-ho-ho MAN!! I can smell the peanut butter!
- Phineas: So, Ferb, what do you wanna do tomorrow? There's a world of possibilities... Maybe we should make a list!
- (Above them, the tree the rollercoaster landed in catches on fire and explodes)
- Candace: Mom!
- Linda: Give it a rest, Candace!
Candace Loses Her Head
- Computer Voice: Hub is overheating... Hub is overheating.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [seeing the magma] The molten lava at the Earth's core comThis is fakepletely slipped my mind.
- Park Ranger (to Phineas and Ferb): Ah... Excuse me, aren't you boys a little young to be restoring a national monument?
- Phineas: Yes, yes we are.
- Park Ranger: Well, it's good to see young people taking an interest in our national heritage!
- Candace: Is it the mall?
- Linda: No.
- Candace: Okay. (beat) But it's the mall, right?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus. Your timing is impeccable. And by "impeccable," I mean completely peccable!
- Phineas: Yes! Hey Ferb! (chucks pillow at Ferb's face) It's Candace's Birthday! We gotta do better than last year...
- (Flashback to a gorilla coming out of the cake and scaring Candace)
- Phineas: Not our best work.
- Ferb (about Candace's birthday present): Well, it was definitely better than the gorilla in the cake
- Candace (when she sees her birthday present): Why, it's... it's... It's beautiful! [sobbing] Mom! Mom!
The Fast and the Phineas
- Isabella: Okay, girls. We're dealing with a 426 cubic inch, fully-blown V8, with hypo lifters, radical cam and a limited slip differential.
- Gretchen: Would that be electronically fuel-injected?
- Candace [to Phineas and Ferb]: What are you doing to Mom's car?!
- Phineas: We tricked it out!
- Phineas: So, Ferb, what should we do today? I mean, besides giving Perry a bath. (leans over and smells Perry)
- (Perry chatters)
- Candace: Phineas! Phineas! PHINEAS!
- Racing Fan: Hey! I can't hear the cars!
- Isabella (to Phineas): That helmet looks so manly.
- Phineas: Thanks.
- Linda (to Candace): Honey, close your mouth.
Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror
- Radio announcer: And speaking of hot, slather on the sunscreen, listeners, 'cause tomorrow's weather calls for another scorcher!
- Ferb: [referring to lawn gnomes scattered though air as part of Doofenshmirtz's plot] With a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes.
- Phineas: If we let a little heat stop us from having the best day ever, then the morning DJ's win.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: And now Perry the Platypus, you will finally understand my pain. Back in Gimmelschtump in the days of my youth, the Doofenshmirtzes were a proud family. But those were lean times for my father, and our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. Who would protect our ancient garden from witches, spells, and wood trolls? From a tender age, my father decided that it will be me. While the other kids played kick the schumptel and ate doonkelberries, I would stand for hours. All through the cold night, as the spitzenhounds howled... My only companion was the moon. And my neighbor Kenny. So, since my lawn gnome was taken from me, I will destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz's father: (said to Dr. Doofenshmirtz as a lawn gnome) Bewegen Sie nicht! (English: Don't move!)
- Surfing Contest Announcer: Let's go to the judges. Ten to the fifth power, infinity, and oh! It seems that Phineas Flynn's radical surfing has made judge number three re-think Einstein's Theory of Relativity! Cowabunga, laws of nature!
- Candace: Phineas and Ferb built a beach in the backyard, just like they said they were going to. But instead of just a cute little beach in their sandbox, it turned out to be this absolutely huge beach, with a coastline, and palm trees and a pier, and hula dancers, waterskiers, and tiki huts and dolphins and dancing and surfing, and everybody from the neighborhood showed up. ...and then I was just about to share a smoothie with Jeremy when a coconut dropped on my head... ...and just for a moment, it seemed the wily Buford would steal away the coveted surfing trophy from under the noses of our heroes... ...but I can only continue my benign reign and spread love, happiness and ultimate popularity throughout my kingdom! If you would just let me have my moment.
The Magnificent Few
Candace:walking to the car, all torn up] Grrrrr! Candace:super annoyed I soo don't want to talk about it. Candace: You better not pull any of your weird stunts, got it?! :
- Major Monogram (to Agent P): The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is at it again. Not only does he have 3 books about insects overdue at the library, but he's cornered the market on aluminum siding and he's holed up in his water fortress on Lake Winimahatikihaha. I love saying that.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus. As usual, your timing is uncanny. And by uncanny, I mean, completely canny!!
- Phineas: Yep, just loop-em them doggies to the long lonesome trail. Ain't this livin'?
- Isabella: Boy howdy!
- Isabella: Hey Phineas.
- Phineas: Hey Isabella.
- Isabella: Watcha doin'?
- Phineas: We're making S'Winter.
- Isabella: S'Winter?
- Ferb: It's a unique and logic defying amalgam of Winter and Summer.
- Phineas: Why have snow when it's too cold to enjoy it?
- Isabella: You guys are gonna need some help.
- Isabella: [Signal Whistle]
- Lawrence (about the snow cone machine): Well, you put some ice in here, give it a crank, add some syrup, and Bob's your uncle! Snow cones for everyone.
- Candace: Argh! My brothers are just driving me crazy!
- Vanessa: You should try spending an hour with my dad sometime.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Behold, the Melt-inator 6-5000! It has a melting capacity... of 7! That's on a scale from 1 to 5, so that's a big number.
Are You My Mummy?
- Phineas: (washing up on the sidewalk outside with Ferb and Candace) Hey Candace, you missed all the fun! Allow me to introduce our mummy.[turning to see only banages] Hey, where's our mummy? Mummy? MUMMY?!?
- Mr. Flynn/Dad: Well, Mummy has supper waiting for us at home. (seeing her look dishevled) Candace, why are you all wet?
- Candace: (growling and grinding her teeth) Grrr!
- (all in the car, on the way home)
- Ferb: You know, mummies had their brains pulled out through their nose.
- Candace: (still fuming) The lucky ones!
- Phineas: Look, pith helmets! We must be going the right way. Say something pithy.
- Phineas: Wow. I didn't expect him to be so scary. I mean, can you imagine the angry, twisted soul hidden underneath those bandages? Makes me shudder.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus. As usual, your timing is incredible. And by incredible, of course, I mean completely credible!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Is my nose really that pointy?
- Phineas: I say bow chika bow wow- [points to Candace] Candace! [the spotlight hits Candace]
- Candace: [silent for a few seconds then becomes angry] Wait a minute! [turns to Phineas] What are you doing?!
- Phineas: I'm cuing you?
- Candace: How did you get a hit single?
- Phineas': Well it wasn't easy. It took most of the morning and half a dozen phone calls. But if you're willing to put in the work-
- Candace: That's it! I'm gonna tell mom.
- Phineas: Okay, tell her what?
- [The audience still stares at Candace.]
- Candace: Doh! I'm just going to tell! [leaves the stage]
- Linda: Well, a musical act goes to the top of the chart with a catchy tune and meaningless lyrics. Then they throw a big diva tantrum, lose their label, then face obscurity. Before they know it, their song is... elevator music. Years later, they have a reunion concert, and after that, they never sing again, and no one remembers them. (tears up, but quickly wipes away tears) Not that I would know anything about that.
- Phineas: (in a weird accent) Follow-up single?! Who do you think we are, some two-bit hacks who will keep writing you songs simply because you pay us obscene amounts of cash? Phineas and the Ferb-Tones are strictly a one-hit wonder. Good day to you, sir. (Going down the elevator and in normal accent) Diva tantrum, check. (listening to the "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" intrumental version) Elevator music, check.
- Phineas (to Evander Holyfield): Aren't you a little old to be a professional boxer?
- Evander Holyfield: Yes, yes I am.
- Phineas: Cool.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Unfortunately, my birthday has always been the lousiest day of the year. It all began on the day of my actual birth. Both of my parents failed to show up.
- Referee: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! He's from a broken home. His hobby's breaking bones. Buford the Bullyyy! And in this corner, he's got moves. He's got grace. His nose takes up his entire face. Fabulous Phineeeeeas Flynn!
- Referee: Okay, boys. Let's have a fair and square fight and in no way should this ensuing fight contain the image of a potentially harmful, hurtful, or psychologically disturbing physical act that could be found imitatable by an impressionable child viewer.
- Buford: Aww!
- Phineas: I don't think this is going so well.
- Evander Holyfield: Nonsense, kid! Go for the gold! Fight fire with fire! Ah, shoot. Shoot him the stink eye! Uh, grease the pig! Ah, I got nothing.
- Candace: Mom! Finally, indisputable photographic evidence of dangerous and irresponsible behavior!
- Linda: Candace, this is your thumb in front of the lens.
- Buford: Same thing tomorrow?
- Phineas: Nah, I like to keep moving forward.
- Ferb: Sharks have to continue to move forward, or they'll drown.
- Buford: You callin' me a shark?
- (Ferb does a Vulcan nerve pinch and Buford falls over, unconscious)
- Phineas: Fe-erb!
- Ferb: Well, he was all up in my face.
Lights, Candace, Action!
- Isabella: Look. My client gets 3% of the gross and a piece of the back end, or he walks. Yeah, that's right. You mess with the bull, you get the horns, buddy!
- Candace [to the producer about Phineas and Ferb]: Wait, wait, don't you think they're a little young to be big-budget movie directors?
- Producer: With 176 million hits, they can be in diapers for all I care.
- Phineas: Okay, Candace. This is a very important scene. It is nothing less than the emotional backbone of the whole film. Oh, and the villagers are coming at you with everything they've got.
- Candace: Phineas, what do you mean the villag...
- Phineas: Action! [Ferb throws miniature bullets at Candace] The Air Force! [Ferb throws miniature planes at Candace] The Space Aramada from the planet Plumbing Supplies! [Ferb throws plumbing supplies at Candace] Beautiful!!! Thats a Print! [Ginger whispers to Phineas. Phineas removes the lens cap from the camera] Oh, that's a little embarrassing. Okay, people, nice rehearsal, let's take it from the top. [Candace has a very angry look on her face]
- Candace: (wearing a tropical banana hat) Wow! Is this banana hat for some cool tropical dance number?
- Phineas: We're trying to come up with some exciting camera angles for the big chase scene, so we strapped a camera onto this starving monkey.
- (The monkey screeches and chases Candace; Candace ends up bruised and disheveled.)
- Phineas: (chuckles) Sorry that monkey cam didn't work out. We're gonna try it with Ferb this time. (Ferb has a camera strapped to his head. Phineas hands Candace a sub sandwich.) Now take this sandwich and remember, Ferb hasn't eaten lunch yet.
- (Ferb screeches and chases Candace.)
- Phineas: Okay, Candace, this is your beauty shot. The curse has been lifted, and you're no longer a monster. Now this scene is all about what the heart wants, but the mind can't have.
- Phineas: Enjoy it while it lasts, Candace. Fame is fleeting.
- Ferb: But the Internet is forever.
Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: (upon seeing Perry) Perry the Platypus, how unexpected! And by unexpected, I really mean unexpected--what are you doing here? This is my week off.
- Baljeet: You may have my underpants. They just got very messy all of a sudden
- Phineas: Vittles is Grandpa-ese for "food."
- Candace: I sure got you guys. You should have seen your faces! Only unsophisticated, immature brains would believe in monsters. Yes, it takes a mature adult such as myself to know that... there's... (sees Dr. Doofenshmirtz running from fake Bigfoots) no... such thing as... G-G-G-BIGFOOT!(runs away screaming; the kids look over and see nothing)
- Baljeet: Well, I do not believe her one bit. Too much overacting.
- Buford: Then I guess I'll just find a nerd and take his underpants.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: That sounded like screaming children. But it's not my birthday.
Tree to Get Ready
- Phineas: We beat ya! You're big old purple pickled eggs!
- Stacy: (annoyed) You we're out of you tree
- Candace: (annoyed too) Yes! We were first!
- Phineas: Nuh-hu! We were!
- Candace/Stacy: We were!
- Phineas: We were!
- Linda: Look like you're having fun
- Phineas: Well Mom, you know what they say... [Candace and Stacy hit him with a water balloon]
- Ferb: Fun never falls too far from the treehouse. [gets hit by a water balloon]
- Candace: Maybe my brothers have been replaced with aliens?
- Stacy: Yeah, now they're gonna fatten you up so they can eat ya.
- Candace: (walking past a wall of literal bells and whistles)Wow, look at all the bells and whistles!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, you are no match for my pigeons.
- Phineas: The last one home is a big ol' purple pickled egg!
- (Ferb makes a clucking sound)
- Phineas: (worried as their robor is about to crash) Hit the crash button!
- (Ferb press a button with a "crash" written that's encaces him and Phineas on a bunch of tires then the robot crash and the crash strenght causes the boys bounce around)
It's About Time!
- Candace: [almost crying] Oohhh! I can't believe I am just stuck here. I can't believe I'll never get to get my driver's license or wear my dream dress to the prom. [sitting down and drawing in the mud] But most of all, I can't believe I'll never see Jeremy again. How long are we supposed to just sit here?
- Phineas: I don't know. Ferb and I have decided to use this time as an opportunity to practice patience.
- Candace: [despairingly] Lovely. Well I suppose things can't get any worse. [it starts to rain] Oh look, the world's first bad hair day... [seeing the T-Rex right over them] So Phineas, where's this rescue party you sent for?
- Phineas: Hmm. It occurs to me I may have misspelled "time machine" in the plans.
- Ferb: Well, I hope that's not going to be an issue.
- Isabella: Whatcha doin'?
- Phineas: We're fixing this time machine.
- Isabella: Isn't that kind of impossible?
- Phineas: That's a possibility.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Peter the Panda!
- Isabella (to Phineas): You know, there's an "m" in "Time Machine."
- Phineas: Yeah, sorry.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz (to Perry the Platypus): I promise to hurt you the right way, with cartoonish physical violence and elaboarte traps made out of strange things I bought over the internet.
- Lawrence: Fossils... da da da. (rewinds cassette) Fossils... da da da. (rewinds cassette) Fossils... da da da. (rewinds cassette) Fossils... da da da. (rewinds cassette) Fossils... da da da. (rewinds cassette) Fossils...
Jerk de Soleil
- Buford: Hey twerp, I brought the props for my act.
- Phineas: Buford, what exactly is your act?
- Buford: I fly into mud, with a paper bag on my head.
- Phineas: [pauses] Okay then.
- Buford: The peeps are gonna love me.
[candace Shows up]
Phineas; heres bufford
Toy to the World
- Phineas: Wait a minute, this is a toy factory. How did this chocolate river get here? Who the heck are you guys?
- Ba-dink-a-dinks: We are the Ba-dink-a-dinks!
- A ba-dink-a-dink: You set us free when you remodeled the factory. We'd been trapped in the basement for years, making foam peanuts and snipping the tabs off of plastic.
- Ba-dink-a-dinks: We will now lay waste to the surface dwellers!
- Phineas: ...Okay, then. Carry on.
- Store manager: Fantastic! You look like number one!
- Candace: I feel like number two.
- Store manager: That's the spirit!
One Good Scare Ought To Do It!
- Candace: PHINEAS! The only way you're building a haunted house in this backyard is over my DEAD BODY!
- Phineas: [in a mad scientist voice] That's the idea! Bwah!
- Candace: That's it, you little psycho. I'm calling Mom! [walks inside, but then pokes her head out the door] And I am NOT using the banana this time!
- Phineas: ...You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me?
- Isabella: [to Candace] I got to spend the whole day being showered with undivided attention from Phineas! It was wonderful.
- Candace: Hiccups?
A Hard Day's Knight
- Perry: [mouthing a CD recording] Upon an evil winter's heart, the heavy hand of regret infrequently alights. The malevolent path is one trod without the cumbersome shackles of sentimental intro [the CD begins skipping] spect spect spect spect spect spect spect spect spect spect [Perry whacks the CD player with the book]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hmm, that's funny. I don't remember you saying "spect" so many times. [Perry explodes out of his disguise] Dr. Wexler, you're a platypus? [Perry puts on his hat] Perry the Platypus!?
- Phineas: So this is how it ends, Ferb... defeated by our own dopplegangers. If only we had some sort of device that could stop them from... [Ferb holds up a small remote that makes the Phineandroids and Ferbots work or dance] Heh, heh. I know, I'm just messing with ya.
- Candace: Wait a minute! I can still give Mom the one thing the boys can't, the gift of music! Played on my friend: the bass. [Doofenshmirtz's Shrinkspheria shrinks the bass as she begins to play it] Huh, oh well, it's a good thing I play the banjo! [the banjo shrinks] It's a good thing I play the bassoon! [the bassoon shrinks] It's a good thing I play the bugle! [the bugle shrinks] It's a good thing I play the bongos! [the bongos shrink]
- Narrator: Five minutes later...
- Candace: [frantically] It's a good thing I play the balailaka! [the balailaka shrinks] It's a good thing I play the bagpipes! [the bagpipes shrink] I should have manned the omelette station!
Journey to the Center of Candace
- Phineas: Yeah, we're inside Candace's stomach.
- Ferb: That's creepy on so many levels.
- Phineas: She's on a date with Jeremy. That means we're on a date with Jeremy.
- Ferb: Again: creepy on so many levels.
Run Away Runway
- Stacy: [talking about the Phineas and Ferb "Summer All the Time Collection"] Well, nice talking to you, Candace, but I gotta run. A store's getting a fresh shipment and I want to get there before they sell out. Oh, and by the way, that Gaston stuff is so 42 seconds ago.
I Scream, You Scream
- Phineas: Ferb, you're usually so focused; how did you get those plans confused?
- [Ferb flashes back to the plans shop when Vanessa walked in; from his view, Vanessa is surrounded by flowers and dreamy music plays.]
- Vanessa: Hey, how's it going?
- [Back in the present]
- Phineas: Hey Ferb, snap out of it. What happened back there?
- Ferb: I...was weak.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: ... then no one can stop the wraith of Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz!
- Vanessa: Doctor? Since when are you a doctor?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [shows Vanessa a doctorate certificate with a price tag on it] They don't just give these to anybody you know.
- Vanessa: Anybody with $15, they do...
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [swipes it away from her] Ok that's enough looking!
It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World
- Dad: [opening the window after hearing an engine and a loud horn] Oh, hey boys.
- Phineas: Dad, you might want to wipe the queen off your face.
- Dad: Oh, yeah. Thanks... Crickey! A monster truck!
- Phineas: Yeah! Isn't it sweet? It's to help Candace how to parallel park and stuff. We figured if she learned how to drive one of these monsters, she'd have the confidence to drive anything.
- Lawrence: Oh yeah, brilliant, but I'd better check with Mom about this... [calls Linda on his cellphone] Hello honey. Yes, yes. I love you too, darling. Are you aware that the boys have a monster truck in the backyard?
- Linda: [at a cooking class] Honestly, you're as bad as Candace.
- Lawrence: Okay, okay, just checking. [hangs up the phone] It's a go boys! I'll get your sister!
The Ballad of Badbeard
- Grandpa Clyde: Time for our nature walk to Badbeard Lake.
- Phineas: Why do they call it "Badbeard Lake"?
- Grandpa Clyde: Well, It's a body of fresh water surrounded by land.
- Phineas: No, the "Badbeard" part.
Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together
- Phineas: Pardon me, would your name be Swampy, ex-drummer for the band Love Händel?
- Sherman: That, my friend, was a past life. The name's Sherman. Why ya askin'?
- Phineas: Because they're reforming for one night only! It's a celebration of our parents anniversary.
- Sherman: Well, that sounds charming, boys, but I haven't played drums since the accident. Fell asleep in a metronome factory; when I woke I completely lost my sense of rhythm. I've been hanging out here ever since. [backing a beat with a library stamp and books].
- Danny: Alright boys, let's blow the roof off this place.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No! It's going to blow the roof off this place!
Ready for the Bettys
- Betty Band Member: Now you can go clean the toilet.
- Candace: No way! We are not your personal slaves! Right, Stacy?
- Stacy: [cleaning a toilet] Yay, a Betty Bowl Brush!
The Flying Fishmonger
- Reginald: I may seem like a barmy ol' git now, but when I wasn't so long in the tooth, I had some grand larks and engaged in a fair amount of derring-do.
- Phineas: Translate?
- Ferb: When he was younger, he did a bunch of stuff.
Phineas and Ferb Get Busted
- [After the sergeant falls over the cliff]
- Candace: Do you think he'll be...
- Phineas: [juggling corn dogs with Ferb] Corn dog, corn dog, yummy yummy yummy!
- Candace: Okay. Where did you get the-- Mom! Dad! Thank goodness! The strangest thing just happened.
- Mom: [in Baljeet's voice] Fear not. Your parents are here now.
- Candace: Huh?
- [Camera zooms out to show Mom and Dad are puppets being controlled by a giant Baljeet]
- Baljeet: The real shock is you're just noticing this now.
- Candace: What?
- [Camera zooms out even further to show Baljeet is actually a puppet controlled by the zebra from "The Ballad of Badbeard"]
- Zebra: I'm just as confused as you are, Kevin.
- Jeremy: Candace, since I have no idea what will happen next, I need to tell you something. I love you, Candace Flynn. Will you marry me?
- Candace: Oh, Jeremy! I always dreamt-- Wait a minute. That's it - I'm dreaming!!
- Jeremy: That would explain the talking zebra.
- Candace: Nah, I see him all the time.
- Phineas: Hey, Ferb! We should build a device that projects your dreams like a movie! I'd love to see what Perry dreams about.
- Candace: Oooh, I almost forgot! Perry was in the dream too, dressed like a super-secret agent or something.
- Ferb: Perhaps that's where he disappears to every day.
- Phineas: (after explaining the race course) Any questions?
- Baljeet: Yes. Should we not establish the rules first?
- Buford: This is a chariot race. There are not rules!
- Isabella: No rules? Well, if those are the rules.
Leave the Busting To Us!
- Candace: [to Mom as the ferris wheel is carted away] Now tell me you don't see a giant enormous ferris wheel in the back yard.
- Mom: [only seeing the boys] Okay. I don't see a giant enormous ferris wheel in the back yard.
- (Lulu Jones has "BUST" and "THEM" tatooed on her hands.)
- Lulu: Let me tell you a story: the story of "Bust" and "Them." "Bust" fights "Them," but "Them" fights right back. It's the age-old struggle, but in the end "Them" wins...I mean, "BUST." Yes, "Bust" wins. Yes, Bust Them!
Crack That Whip
- Candace: Mom, come on, come on! The boys built a giant roller rink in the back yard! [the rink is turned into a giant loaf of bread] Uhh, giant loaf of bread?
- Phineas: [shrugs] I dunno.
- Candace: Mom! Mom! The boys built a giant loaf of bread in the backyard!
- Linda: What? I thought you said it was a roller rink.
- Candace: It was, but now it's a loaf of bread!! Come on, come on! See? [A flock of magpies eat the loaf]
- Linda: Candace, what are you talking about?
- Candace: B-b-but....
- Linda: Boys, I think she's finally lost it.
The Best Lazy Day Ever
- Candace: Well, if they really are doing nothing, I guess I've got some time to go about my personal business. Let's see, what do I usually do? I know! I'll call Stacy and tell her how I'm busting Phineas and Ferb for... Yeah. Can't do that 'cause they're not doing anything. Wait a minute! I know! [runs off and comes back with a camera] I'll put this camera in just the right spot so when Phineas and Ferb are... Ugh! [setting up a rope trap] And then when Phineas and Ferb will bite off... Doh! [putting on lipstick] Well, if there's one thing I know, I'm gonna look so good when I bust them for... Auugh! Face it. You can't do anything unless you're trying to bust them for doing something! And if they're doing nothing, then... who is Candace??
Boyfriend From 27,000 B.C
- Phineas: They say if you love something, let it go.
- Ferb: Especially if it is a caveman.
- Phineas: Yeah, especially if it's a caveman.
Voyage to the Bottom of Buford
- Isabella: Hi, Buford...Are you...sweating through your eyes?
- Buford: ...NO, I'M JUST CRYING! [sobs]
Put That Putter Away
- Candace: [talking on the cell phone to Stacy] Focus.
- Phineas: [Stacy hits the golf ball beautifully] What great focus! [a sound comes from the cell phone]
- Stacy: What's that?
- Phineas: Sounds like the crowds going wild.
- Candace: [shows Candace lying sick in bed] Aaaaaaah! [makes a small airy scream that sounds like the crowd going wild]
Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?
- [Perry, in Isabella's body, enters his headquarters]
- Major Monogram: There's a teenage girl in here.
- Carl: A teenage girl?
- [A fedora drops on Perry's head]
- Major Monogram: Agent P, brilliant disguise.
- Carl: Man! I thought it was a real girl.
Traffic Cam Caper
- Mom: Candace, not this again.
- Candace: But I have proof!
- [Mom leaves; Phineas and Ferb enter]
- Phineas: We're gonna pencil her in for 7:30--
- Mom: [from the hallway] Nine!
- Phineas: Make that 9:00.
- Candace: Just wait 'til Mom hears about-- Then again, you guys always seem to make everything disappear before Mom gets home. But if I take the evidence to her at the Bowl-R-Ama, then she'll have to believe me!
- [In Candace's fantasy]
- Mom: Oh, Candace! You were right about Phineas and Ferb this whole time. We should've believed you.
- Dad: And just to express how sorry we are, here's my credit card. You have our permission to ruin us financially.
- Jeremy: Candace, that is so cool how you busted your brothers like that! Will you marry me?
- [Back in reality]
- Phineas: So you wanna give it a try?
- Candace: I do, Jeremy! I mean, uh... I'd love to give it a try.
The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein
- Random Troubled Man: Finally, my irrational fear that a giant platypus will see me in my underwear is cured! [The Platypus Monster stomps past his house while the man is in his underwear] ...It's even worse than I thought...
Oil on Candace
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No more annoying songs about moons!
- Dr. Gevaarlijk: I do find moon songs annoying. Continue.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: It only has enough power to fire once, but don't worry [leans on ray gun] I've got it planned out. [fires laser]
- [Laser hits a dam; dam floods the river]
- Dr. Doofenshmritz: No more annoying songs about dams?
- Dr. Gevaarlijk: Oh, but I like a good toe-tapping dam song.
Unfair Science Fair
- Isabella: So, you two have built a portal to Mars and you didn't even go through it yourselves?
- Phineas: Oh, we did...
- Ferb: But that's another story.
Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)
- Phineas: Ferb speaks Martian!
- Candace: Tell them I want to walk alone.
- Ferb: Meht tuohtiw ton tub enif yas yeht.
- Martians: Arrabata Dutch!
- Ferb: They say fine, but not without them.
- Candace: This may sound silly, but I thought you were avoiding me.
- Unkown Guy: Actually, I've been trying to avoid you.
- Candace: Do I know you?
- Unkown Guy: No. That's how well it's been working! Unkown Guy is out. Peace!
Out to Launch
- Isabella: Hey Phineas, can I ask you something? Will you go to the dance--
- Katie: 'Scuse me, Phineas. Can I get you to sign some liability waivers?
- Phineas: Sure thing! Hold that thought, Isabella.
- Isabella: Sure. No prob.
- Isabella: Hey Phineas. You guys were great!
- Phineas: Thanks. You weren't too bad yourselves.
- Isabella: Oh, [giggle] thanks. So, would you like to go to the Night of the Falling Stars Girls' Choice dance tonight?
- Phineas: Sounds like fun.
- Isabella: Really?
- Phineas: Ferb, what's our schedule like? [Ferb gives a thumbs-up] Okay, we'll be there.
- Isabella: Both of you?
- Phineas: Yeah. Why don't you come by and we'll all walk over together.
- Isabella: Sure. No prob.
- Isabella: Well, Buford that was a great game. (holding out her hand) Come on. Be a good sport.
- Buford: Like I said before, losing to a girl doesn't count. (starts walking away as he gets zapped, turns back calmly) What I meant to say was, I had a wonderful time. I guess you were right. Girls are just as good as boys. Thanks again, Woowho, the F-Games rock. (leaving)
- Ferb: That was completely out of character.
- Isabella: It could be the biggest game in the world and girls still could beats boys
- Phineas: Ferb and I are gonna put on a laser light show. And as a grand finale, we're gonna laser our faces into the comet! That way, when it comes back in 73½ years, we can all show our grandchildren! Oh yeah, my parents are cooking steaks for everyone.
- Isabella: You had me at "our grandchildren".
- Phineas: What?
- Isabella: Steaks!!! You, you had me at "steaks". (smiles cheesily at Phineas)
Out of Toon
- Candace: Oh, this is just out of control. (takes out her cellphone) Mom, Mom!
- Mrs. Flynn's voicemail message: Hi, this is Mom. Leave your psychotic rant about the boys after the beep.
- Candace: Uhhh! Mom, come home, quick! There's a giant mob, I'm a superfiend, I'm roasting them with laser vision, and... hey, what do you mean psychotic rant?!
- Isabella: Hi Phineas!
- Buford: Whacha do- (Isabella hits him) Ow!
- Isabella: (Sweetly) Whacha Doin?
- Phineas: Come into the Phineas and Ferb Studios and we'll show you. (Everyone but Buford and Isabella enters)
- Buford: Hey Isabella about that Whatcha doin back there-
- Isabella: Upupupup (miming talking with her hand)! We'll talk about it later.
- Ferb: (after Perry accidentally hits a self-destruct button the Rainbowinator) You know, in retrospect, I question the inclusion of a self-destruct button in the first place.
The Lake Nose Monster
- Candace: Quick kid, run as fast as your little legs can carry you. Follow the train tracks north, you should hit Acreton by sundown. London, it's a college town. There, get a retail job and save up enough for a bus ticket to the Canadian border. Someone will get in touch with you when the coast is clear.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Look here, I wrote "big laundry" and I don't even remember what the reason was. I guess I assumed I'd remember, like it was some big genius idea... Big laundry, BIG LAUNDRY! It's crazy, I'm a crazy person.
Candace: Ok be cool and confident, cool and confident. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Candace: Hey Jeremy! Sooo, what do you think?
Jeremy: You look great!
Captain Weber: Oh! So you're the famous Candace Flynn? Bob Weber. (holds out hand to shake)
Candace: (shakes his hand) Thanks for the lifeguard job Mr. Weber.
Captain Weber: MR. WEBER?! Pshaw! Mr. Weber is my father. Call me Captain Weber.
Captain Weber: (snaps fingers) OK!!! You two take care of my beach now.
Captain Weber: (snaps fingers) OK!!! And watch out for Nosey. (laughs)
Candace & Jeremy: Uh...haha..haha...ok!
Captain Weber: (snaps fingers) OK!!! (echoes) ok..ok..ok
Interview with a Platypus
- Isabella: OK, we've got 78 complaints about food quantity, 42 requests for belly rubs, and we're still trying to explain TV to Pinky.
- Milly: Again, forget the idea of little people in there.
Tip of the Day
- Lawrence: Look, Linda, I can see this, let's see... 24 cross, 5 letters, where's blank?
[The lair shows Perry lands on a chair. The entrance Perry entered is not shown]
Attack of the 50 Foot Sister
[The Doofenshmirtz jingle plays; scene flips to Doofenshmirtz, rubbing his forehead]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ugh, that stupid carnival is so loud I can't hear my own evil jingle! [turns to a quartet in a sound recording booth] Alright boys, take it from the top. And louder.
- Evil Jingle Singers: [singing] Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorpora—
[the quartet gets cut short by a loud crash from the ceiling into a pile of instruments; Perry staggers in, playing a banjo.]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: A banjo-playing platypus? [Perry puts on his hat] Perry the banjo-playing platypus?!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [to Perry] You see, back before I was evil, I was something a little less than evil: I was a bratwurst street vendor!
- [Cuts to a short flashback of Doofenshmirtz's brautwurst stand, accompanied by an out of tune "Doofenshmirtz's Quality Bratwurst" jingle]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: What? They had those!
Day of the Living Gelatin
- Phineas: All right, who added the 'evil' flavour?
[Everyone turns to stare at Baljeet]
- Baljeet: It's curry. It's not inherently evil.
Elementary, My Dear Stacy
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: As I get older and older, I find it harder and harder to read my small little wristwatch. So I will launch Big Ben into space, and fly it all the way to the Tri-State area! ["flies" Big Ben over to his model of the Tri-State area] La, lala, lala, here I am, I just woke up and I want to know what time it is. [flings the model of himself across the room.] Woohoo! Yes! I'm a genius!
- Agent Double O-O: Wha - That's it?! That's your whole plan?!!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, in a nutshell, yes! What do you think?
- Agent Double O-O: [glances at Perry, pauses] Am I on one of those hidden-camera shows? You realize you could just buy a bigger watch? Or maybe a wall clock?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes, but then I'd have to drive to the store and find a parking space, and I'd have to choose from like - dozens of styles ... It just seemed like so much work. This would be much less complicated.
- Stacy: Candace, looks to me like you're going about this the wrong way. Don't focus on the boys, focus on the invention. If you can find out where the stuff goes, maybe you can take your mom there, and she'll finally see the evidence.
- Phineas: What's that noise? Is that your stomach?
- [Ferb nods]
- Phineas: Yeah, I'm hungry too. That trendy restaurant Mom and Dad took us to last night wasn't exactly satisfying.
- [flashback to last night]
- Phineas: Dad, can I borrow your glasses? I can't see my entrée. You know, because it's so small?
- Lawrence: [holding his glasses] Yes, I think we got that.
Candace: [Phone rings] S'up, Stace?
Stacy: Candace, are you sitting down? I don't want you to have an aneurysm.
Candace: Why would I have an aneurysm?
Stacy: Someone just IM'd me that someone else heard someone else overhear that Jeremy is gonna call you and ask you out for a special evening tonight! [Both squeal] Candace, do you need medical attention?
Candace: Oh, I need attention from the doctor of love!
Stacy: Paging Dr. Jeremy.
Candace: Doctor. I got a fever.
Stacy: [Deep voice] Well, let me take care of that, little lady.
Candace: Wow. A special evening. [Phone beeps] It's my call waiting.
Linda: Honey, just calling to remind you--
Candace: Uh, it wasn't him.
Stacy: Don't worry, he'll call.
Buford: You're not on the list. You should have made a reservation yesterday.
Candace: This restaurant didn't exist yesterday. I demand to be let in right now.
Buford: Good evening, sir.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, I forgot to make a reservation.[Slips Buford some money]
Buford: No problem, dude.
Candace: Did that guy just bribe you?
Buford: He didn't bribe me. He just caught my attention in a monetary fashion. Now, back in line.
Perry Lays an Egg
- Ferb: That's not just any bird. That's a rare whale song singing Double Breasted Angle Hooper. [the bird begins pecking at Candace, wearing a platypus suit] The natural enemy of the platypus in the wild.
Gaming the System
- Isabella:[To Giant] Hey You!
- Phineas: Isabella, NO!
- Giant: *Roars*
- Isabella: Leave My friends alone!!
- Giant: *Roars and gets his fists out ready to punch Isabella*
- Phineas: NOO!!
- Isabella(pulls out camera): Smile.
(giant roars, then is depixelated)
- Phineas: Wow Isabella, how did you know?
- Isabella: You know what they say: The bigger they are, the harder they depixelate.
The Chronicles of Meap
- Isabella: How come you think Meap is so cute? What does that mean anyway, "cute"?
- Phineas: I can't define "cute". I just know it when I pick it up on my cuteness meter.
- Phineas: It's pulling us in! Maybe it's the space authorities. Did we do something wrong?
- Ferb: Well, it occurs to me that perhaps all the modifications I've made aren't technically be "street legal."
- Phineas: Look, he's headed for that small cloud.
- Ferb: That's no cloud. That's a space station.
- Phineas: I've got a good feeling about this.
- Phineas: Hmm. I'm having trouble picking up [Meap's] cute signal.
- Isabella: Phineas, since you obviously won't figure this out on your own, I think I'm the one causing the cute interference.
- Phineas: Don't be silly, Isabella! I took into account your cuteness, and adjusted the cute meter settings accordingly from the beginning. See, look what happens when I change it back to normal. [the cute meter overloads and shorts out] Oops. So much for finding Meap.
(Phineas watchs his cute tracker with a serious expression)
- Isabella: (singing offscreen) La-la-la-la-la-laa-la-la-la
- Phineas: (confused) I keep getting some kind of cute interference
- Isabella: It's me! I'm endangering the mision I shouldn't' ve come!
- Phineas: No, now it's cleared
Thaddeus and Thor
- Phineas: Candace, we don't build stuff to compete, we do it for fun.
- Ferb: And for the ladies. [makes cat noise]
De Plane! De Plane!
- [Baljeet walks over to Buford, carrying a plate of peanut bags]
- Buford: That better not be insignificant bags of peanuts!
- Baljeet: No, no, of course not sir. [he leaves; ripping and clinking noises are heard, then reappears with a plate of peanuts shaped like a cooked chicken] Here, sir. Try our Deluxe Peanut Chicken! Our motto is "so peanutty, you will not even taste the chicken!"
- Jingle Singers: [singing] So peanutty, you won't even taste the chicken!
- Buford: I better not taste any chicken then, loser! [takes bite] Alright, you survive. For now.
- Baljeet: Oh, thank you sir!
Let's Take a Quiz
[Candace is currently facing off with Buford in Phineas' game show.]
- Buford: Pocket lint!
- Candace: Laminate!
- Buford: Dolomite!
- Candace: Porpoise!
- Buford: Tralfazz!
- Candace: Tralfazz? ["TRALFAZZ?!" appears on her podium]
- Buford: That's right, Tralfazz! ["TRALFAZZ!!!" appears on his podium]
- Candace: Fine, tralfazz!
["FINE TRALFAZZ" appears on a puzzle board Ferb is presenting dressed as a girl]
- Phineas: Ooh, bonus!
At the Car Wash
- Phineas: We're gonna make the best dang car wash in the dang tristate area, dangit! ...I can't really pull that off, can I?
- Ferb: You're not very street.
Oh, There You Are, Perry
- Candace: [singing] I'm gonna move to the prairie, and change my name to Larry!
- Phineas: Larry?!
- Candace: I ran out of rhymes, all right?
- Candace: [after mistaking a beaver for Perry] You have a pet beaver?
- Woman: You have a pet platypus.
- Candace: Touché.
Swiss Family Phineas
- [Ferb is showering a monkey]
- Candace: You're giving a monkey a shower?
- Ferb: Yep, had to be done.
Hide and Seek
- Irving: Hey, can I say the Perry thing?
- Phineas: What?
- Irving: You know, when you say, "Where's Perry?"
- Phineas: Okay...?
- Irving: Where's Perry? Wait! Wait! I can do better! Where's Perry? Where is Perry? Wherefore art thou Perry? I wonder where that Perry went. Ooh! Where is that platypus? Where the P-man at?
That Sinking Feeling
- Phineas: Do i know romance or what?
- Isabella: (Irritated at Phineas when she realises that the cruise was meant for Baljeet and his friend from India, Mishti) What.
- Phineas (oblivious to Isabella's irritation):I said, do I know romance -
- Isabella: I heard you.
- Phineas: Is everything okay?
- Baljeet: If by okay, you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure, then yes, everything is groovy.
- Phineas: That's not at all what I meant by 'okay!'
- Linda: Ferb, honey, aren't you a little old to be playing in the ball pit?
- Ferb: [vacuuming through the ball pit] Yes, yes I am.
- Linda: Okay, then.
- Vanessa: Your name is Ferb?
- Ferb: Well, yes. It's short for— [retrieves Pizzazium Infinionite rod with the vacuum] Oh, here it is.
No More Bunny Business
- Candace: Do you know what this is?
- Phineas: Uh, is it not a rabbit?
- Candace: This is an actual living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.
- Ferb: So why is he wearing a tutu?
- Candace: He likes it! [to the rabbit] Don't worry, Mr. Cutie-Patootie, they're just jealous.
- Phineas: (confused explaining candace that the carrots in the backyard dissapear) I turn around a half of minute and-Poof!- now they're gone!
- Candace: Welcome to my world
- Phineas: (even more confused) Wow that must be really annoying
- Stacy: [to Candace] Look, the way I see it, you prevented me from going to the spa, almost killed me with a jackhammer, dropped a wall on me, I've got gypsum in my hair, and basically wasted my whole day, but you did it for love, so it's ok!
Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo
- Isabella: Did you hear that? Aunt Isabella! That means I'm gonna marry Phineas!
- Candace:: Or Ferb. [Ferb winks]
- Amanda: (to Xavier and Fred, who are in bumper cars) What are you doing?
- Xavier: Nothing...
- Amanda: See, Mom? They never do anything!
- Future Candace: Give it a rest, Amanda.
Phineas and Ferb's Musical Cliptastic Countdown
- Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?
- Ferb: He's doing a special appearance on a musical clip show.
- Phineas: Hmm... Well, good for him!
- Major Monogram: Avert your ears, Agent P! Avert your ears!
- [Perry takes out a rocket launcher with a missile shaped like a finger and launches it at the Eject button of Doofenshmirtz's "Music Video Mind Control-inator", stopping the music]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No no no no! Get back in there! [pushes the CD tray back in, but it comes back out again] Wait, why is it— [cut to Perry, who is repeatedly hitting the eject button] Perry the Platypus!? I swear, out of all the aquatic mammals I hang with, you are truly the most uncooperative.
- Isabella: Hey guys, whatcha doin'?
- Baljeet: Making changes to my schedu—
- Phineas: We're building a machine to make the biggest, most durable bubble ever!
- Baljeet: Ugh! Right, nobody ever asks Baljeet what he is doing.
Isabella and the Temple of Sap
- Isabella: So, did you guys decide what patch to get today? Cause I have a suggestion?
- Adyson: Let me guess, the let's help Phineas and Ferb patch
- Isabella: It's called thy help the neighbor patch, Adyson, don't make up patch names
- Isabella: Hi, Phineas. Whatcha doin'?
- Phineas: [in Isabella's fantasy] Well, to be perfectly honest, I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know what I've been doing, always getting so wrapped in these projects I don't care about— it's you I care about, Isabella! [turns into a centaur that Isabella rides away on] Can we be together forever and ever?
- Isabella: Yeah, we can definitely do that!
- Phineas: [back in reality] Great! While they're getting that, we can finish our designs on the transponder! See ya girls back at the field!
- Isabella: Okay! [turns to Fireside Girls] Oh no! What did he say? What does he need? [sighs] I was in Phineasland again.
Cheer Up, Candace
- Phineas: Candace has a great sense of humor. Remember the time she got her face caught in the sink?
(Isabella looks at the the audience with a strange look on her face)
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You see, it occurred to me that what I should REALLY be doing is fighting fire with fire. And by "fire", I mean Perry the Platypus. And by "fire", I ALSO mean Perry the Platypus. (beat) It occurred to me while I was on fire.
Fireside Girl Jamboree
- Candace: "Who puts a picture frame on a window?"
The Bully Code
- Baljeet: [reading from a card] "Should a nerd save a bully's life, the bully is the nerd's slave for life." "Should" is misspelled.
- Buford: Duh! It was written by bullies.
Finding Mary McGuffin
- Candace: Detectives. Perfect. I know what you're gonna do today. Track down my little Mary McGuffin!
- Phineas: Piece of cake. (Ferb gives him a piece of chocolate cake) Ooh, chocolate! Thanks, Ferb. (to Candace) We'll have your little Mary McGuffin back here faster than you can say-hey, where's Perry?
- Phineas: Ferb, you must have left your skateboard in England the last time we were there. I know! We could create a highly intricate and sophisticated machine that will transport any object from anywhere on the globe to our backyard!
- Lawrence: Why don't you just build a new skateboard?
- [awkward silence]
- Phineas: Nah, I don't think so.
- Ferb: If it's all the same with you, Father, we're going to build the machine.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I still think you should have added more green onions.
- Norm: Well next time, you can do all the cooking, and I'll stand around coming up with evil plans that ultimately fail. [awkward silence]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wow, cutting deep man.
What Do It Do?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, I just...a golf course! A golf course has lots of traps! I should have said that one first.
- Isabella: Aww, seahorses!
- Baljeet: Now you can get your underwater equestrian patch!
- Isabella: Uh, Baljeet, I was just kidding. They're way too small to ride.
- Buford: Not if you round up a whole bunch of 'em! [gathers the seahorses together and rides them] Yeehaw!
I Was A Middle-Aged Robot
- Major Monogram: Uh, is that all [the robot Lawrence] can say?
- Carl: The kit originally came with one default phrase.
- Robot Lawrence: Lovely windmill, isn't it?
- Carl: Oh, those kooky Dutch!
- Suzy: So, Candace, are you ready to have some fun?
- Candace: Oh, no. I'm good. I hate fun.
- Suzy: [threateningly] I've got a little game we can play!
- Candace: [stuttering] G-g-g-game?
- Suzy: It's called making...
- Candace: [stuttering] M-m-making?
- Suzy: Paper...
- Candace: [stuttering] P-p-p-paper?
- Suzy: [unhurls a set of paper dolls] Dolls!
- Candace: Paper dolls?!?! Wait, what?
Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!
- Carolers: [singing to We Wish You a Merry Christmas] We won't go until we get some, we won't go until we get some, so bring some right here!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wha-what...are-are you threatening me? How dare you! No one barges into my home and demands desserts! What sort of plan is that anyway, "Let's go to a stranger's house and in song form, refuse to leave unless he hands over a food dish no one's prepared since the 16th century?!"
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: 'Tis the season to be naughty!
- Phineas: You know Ferb, just think of all of the wonderful things Santa does for us. And he never asks for anything in return. Wait, that's it! Ferb, are you thinking what I'm thinking? [Ferb hands him a blueprint] As usual, we're— OH! Ugh! Man, no! That's not at all what I was thinking! OH, dude! [Ferb flips around the blueprint to the right side] Oh, yeah. That's it.
- Carl: But wait listen to this. It's a seemingly innocent voice recording of Phineas.
- Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
- Carl: But if you play all those syllables backwards in a random order you get.
- Phineas: Let's help Doofernshmirtz destroy the Tri-State Area.
Hip Hip Parade
- Buford: Yeah, well blood's thicker than water!! [stomps away]
- Baljeet: Mango chutney is thicker than blood!
Just Passing Through
- Candace: Pfft, people and their silly trends. Hey mom, can I get a pink streak in my hair?
- Linda: Why would you do that?
- Candace: To express my individuality. Everyone's doing it!
- Baljeet: Aagh! You can build a roller coaster in a day, but it takes you 12 minutes to pump up a tire?!
Candace's Big Day
- Phineas: Wow, [Candace's] good. I gotta have her do my wedding. Ferb, make a note.
- Isabella: I got it!
Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers
- Linda-bot: [whispering to a raw chicken] Go, go! You're free, little skin bird-
- Candace: MOM!!
- Linda-bot: Ooh! Candace, you scared the bagabbers outta me.
Ain't No Kiddie Ride
- Linda: I want you to pick up some nice back-to-school clothes. [walks in and walks right back out with Phineas and Ferb] Wow. That was fast.
- Phineas: Well, we do have a signature look.
Wizard of Odd
- Doofenwitch: Give me those boots!
- Good Witch Isabella: She doesn't have to give you anything. You have no real power in this part of Odd.
- Doofenwitch: Wrong! I have the power of positive thinking! True, it doesn't really help me in this instance, but you can't stay in Patchkinland forever!
- Suzy: [buried under Candace's house] Seriously could somebody get a jack or something?!
- Isabella: Whoah! Phineas is The Beak?!?
- Candace: You just earned your Uh-Durr patch!
- Isabella: Hi, Phineas.
- Phineas: Hey, Isabella. What's up with the getup?
- Isabella: I'm going for my Intrepid Reporter patch. Can I report on what you guys are doing?
- Phineas: Sure.
- Isabella: Cool. Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, The Fireside Girl Gazette. Whatcha doin'?
- Phineas: Ferb and I built the ultimate extreme skate track obstacle course.
Not Phineas and Ferb
- Baljeet: Ah, we are ready. (both he and Buford are dressed as Phineas)
- Irving: WHAT? No! No no no, you can't BOTH be Phineas!
- Baljeet: That is what I told him, but he would not listen!
- Buford: (takes off Phineas mask) But Phineas gets all the lines!
Phineas and Ferb-Busters!
- Isabella: Do you know how I earned this mountain-moving patch?
- Candace: By mindlessly repeating a flawed busting strategy?
- Isabella: No, through teamwork. See that mountain over there? It used to be over there. With a little teamwork, you can do anything.
The Lizard Whisperer
- Isabella: There's no way we can catch him. He moves too fast. Maybe we should just give up.
- Ferb: Give up? Give up? The day may come when we'll give up on fruitless searches after a mere eleven minutes, but that day is not today! The day may come when our favorite reptile may be lost from our memories and his enduring love of mushrooms forgotten, but that day is not today! Today we search! We will search for him in the streets, we will search for him in the trenches, we will search for him in the alleys and the mini-malls and the cul-de-sacs of this fair land. We will search for him in the multilevel car parks and municipal recreation facilities. And we few. We happy few. We small band of brothers— and girl from across the street. We shall not cease 'til he is found!
- Candace: I must repress my basic urges to bust.
- Stacy: Repressing basic urges to bust is pretty responsible, isn't it?
- Candace: Is it ever? Just look at my Mom!
- Linda: (in the kitchen, staring at a cake) Cake is a sometimes food, cake is a sometimes food, cake is a sometimes food!
The Secret of Success
- Candace: Okay, I learn some skill that... Phineas, you're in the drivers seat, why are you operating with a remote control?
- Phineas: Candace, We're too young to drive.
- Buford and Isabella: Duh!
The Doof Side of the Moon
- Candace: Yeah, sure, Jenny, but what have whales ever done for me?
- Albert: Well, hello. (Albert hits himself on the head with the thing)
- Candace: If that's the way you feel, I'll get someone else to bust my brothers.
- Albert: I'll help you.
- Candace: Are you talking to me?
- Albert: As a damsel in distress, I have to help you, milady, as part of my medieval knight's code.
- Candace: I'm outta here.
- Albert: But don't you wanna bust your brothers? (Brakes heard, Candace walks back)
- Candace: I'm listening.
- Albert: Well, have you considered applying the manly science of spy cameras to your problem?
- Candace: Spy Cameras? Wouldn't it be easier to just show my mom what Phineas and Ferb make?
- Albert: I don't know. Is that easier?
- Candace: No! No it's not easy! It's never easy! I need help.
- Albert: And manly technological surveillance.
- Candace: I need nerd help, will you help me?
- Albert: You have my word. My nerd word.
Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation
- Lawrence: Well, I am a little rusty on my Hawaiian, but here goes. Buenas dias, señor. Me llamo Lawrence. (Spanish for 'Good day, sir. My name is Lawrence.')
- Hotel Manager: Oh, no no. That's not necessary. We speak in English here. Hawaii is part of the United States.
- Lawrence: Is it really? How remarkable.
- Candace: I'm cursed. Phineas, Ferb, I need your help getting rid of this tiki charm.
- Phineas: Um, personally, I'd be a little more worried about that manta ray stuck to your head.
- Candace: What? ugh. You know, after the day I've been having, I didn't even notice.
She's the Mayor
- Phineas: Well guys, we did it. A 100% historically accurate old-timey pioneer town.
- Baljeet: Yes. Complete with hitching posts -
- Buford: And snake bites -
- Baljeet: And deer ticks -
- Buford: And various sores I'll be nursing for months.
- Phineas: Yep, it's took a whole lot of toil, pain, sweat and hard work to build this town. We should be proud.
- Ferb: Let's never do that again.
- Phineas: Agreed. Come on, let's go inside the house for a snack.
- Isabella: And air conditioning.
- Buford: And indoor toilets.
The Lemonade Stand
- Stacy: Candace, I am tired of taking the back seat to the totally unlikely chance that you'll bust your brothers. I want a bеst friend I can count on, so you're gonna have to choose: It's me or busting.
- Candace: You're making me choose? You wouldn't dare!
- Stacy: Ya-huh.
- Candace: Ya-nothing! A real best friend would never do that to me.
- Stacy: A real best friend wouldn't make mе do that to her.
- Candace: Then I guess you're not my best friend.
- Stacy: Not anymore.
- Candace: Fine! (slams door)
- Stacy: Fine!
- Candace: Fine!
- Stacy: Fine!
- Candace: FINE! (Scene quickly change to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated)
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Finally, the plumber!
Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs To You!
- Candace: Mum mum!!
- Candace's Mom: Ok I'm here, now what did you want to tell me?
- Candace: Backyard now!!
- Candace's Mom: Excuse me?!
- Candace: Backyard now please?....
- Candace: Stacy I am freaking out here!
- Stacy: I'll be right over.
- Candace: Cool thanks! and could you bring some breakfast?
- Candace: Oh and Stacey pyramids? Really?
- Stacy: Oh right that's Belgian isn't it?
(The water balloon starts swinging from where it's attached on the top of the tower)
- Vanessa: Oh, this can't be good. (She gets hit by the water balloon and falls)
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Vanessa! NOO!
(She shouts as she falls before she's caught by Phineas and Ferb's plane)
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, they caught her! They caught her!
(Vanessa pulls herself away from the glass and sees Ferb on the plane)
- Vanessa: Ferb?
- Ferb: Vanessa?
- Phineas: No matter where we go, Ferb knows everyone.
(Ferb lets her in)
- Vanessa: Thanks, guys.
- Phineas: It's a good thing we came along when we did. So where do we drop you?
- Vanessa: I don't know. Where are you guys going?
- Phineas: Well, we're off to Paris to refuel then back to Danville.
- Vanessa: Can I just come with you?
- Phineas: Sure.
The plane continues on and Doofenshmirtz watches from the Tower
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait, wait, wait... You saved her and now you're running off with her like...? OH! I have very mixed feelings about you! (to Perry) uh Perry the Platypus, how did you get here? I-I need a ride. Could you guys help me out?
- Major Monogram: You're kidding, right?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No! I have to save my daughter. This is a big deal! Oh please? Please please? Oh, please please-y weasy please please? Please?
- Major Monogram: Fine. But after we get her back, you're going to answer for what you've done here, mister.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait, what? You were coming here, anyway, and... (He accidentally steps on the button and water balloon is released from the rope holding it to the tower and flies up into the sky) Oh, and uh... As far as flinging that water balloon into orbit, hehheh... (puts his fingers on Major Monogram's mouth again) "I did that."
- Major Monogram: Seriously. When was the last time you washed your hands?
- Baljeet: He is home!
- Uncle Sabu: Ah, Baljeet and friends, I was expecting you.
- Baljeet: Really?
- Uncle Sabu: No, that's just something we say up here to freak out the tourists.
- Phineas: Uhh, Uncle Sabu, do you live up here?
- Uncle Sabu: Yes, it's quite a trek, isn't it? It used to be very inconvenient for me. But then I built my factory up here, and now it's inconvenient for everyone else!
Back with the kids where a giant rubber band ball is attached to the bottom of the plane
- Phineas: So, as soon as Candace and Vanessa get here, we can...
- Candace: (She and Vanessa are running from the giant snowball while Candace shouts) Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane! Start the plane!
- Phineas: Ferb, I think we may wanna start the plane.
(Ferb tries to start the plane but it won't start)
- Candace: Start the PLANE! Start the plane! Start the PLAAANE!
- Phineas: Sounds like you're flooding it...
- Ferb: I'm not flooding it!:
- Candace: Start the plaaane!
(Vanessa gets caught by the snowball and gets flung towards the plane)
- Phineas: INCOMING!
(Ferb provides a safe landing for Vanessa when he clicks a button and causes a seat to rise up and catch her)
- Candace: Start the plane! Start the PLANE! (She trips over a small hill, causing the snowball to miss her) Huh?
(The snowball hits the plane and falls down a cliff)
- Candace: No, no, no! How am I ever going to explain this to Mom?!
- Klimpaloon: (passes by) NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG! NANG!
- Candace: That's NOT helping!
- Klimpaloon: (walks away scared) NANG... NANG... NANG... NANG...
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Major Monobrow and Perry the Platypus helped me find you.
- Major Monogram: Monobrow?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, come on. You got that whole thing up here. It's one straight line, for crying out loud.
- Major Monogram: That's it, I'm getting my tweezers back from Carl.
(Throughout this, Isabella looks in anger)
- Phineas: Hey, Ferb. Where's Vanessa?
- Ferb: She went off with someone else.
- Phineas: That's too bad. I thought the two of you, Y'KNOW, a boy, a girl, alone in the city of love? I thought romance was a forgone conclusion!
- Isabella" [snaps her pencil in fury]
- Phineas: Isabella, did you say something?
- Isabella: I need new pencil.
[Candace walks up to the group]
- Phineas: Oh, hey, Candace! So how'd it go? Did you see Jeremy?
- Candace: Well...I saw him. I just didn't talk to him.
- Phineas: Aw, that's too bad. I thought, Y'KNOW, the two of you, a boy, a girl, alone in the city of-
[Isabella's head explodes]
- Phineas: ISABELLA!! Isabella, are you okay?
- Isabella: (annoyed) Peachy.
- Isabella:(crying in sadness) I just feel like giving up, and look at him?
- Phineas: Look! A sponge and a starfish! There's gotta be something we can make out of this! Ah! Oh no, That's ridiculous!
- Isabella:(still crying) It's as if I don't exist. I would give anything if he would just sit down with me and enjoy this beautiful sunset.
- Phineas: We- we could- we- we could- we could dig a tunnel under the ocean or we could- we could- we can- we can... we- we can't. I can't- I can't believe there's nothing we can do to get off this... (Sighs) I guess at least we can sit and watch this beautiful sunset.
(Isabella realizes something)
- Isabella: No.
- Phineas: What?
- Isabella: (gets up and talks in a defensive voice) No, you aren't going to enjoy this beautiful sunset.
- Phineas: I'm not?
- Isabella: You built a roller-coaster through downtown, you built giant tree-house robots, you traveled through time, for crying out loud, twice!
- Phineas: But, Isabella, there's nothing here for me to work with!
- Isabella: Well, that's not the Phineas Flynn I fell in... to this situation with.
- Candace: Phineas, I'm not gonna get on this silly little tricycle.
- Phineas: Candace, we're in a hurry! Just get on the trike and we'll...
- Candace: There's no way I'm gonna-
- Phineas:(shouting) Get on the trike!
Nerds of a Feather
- Baljeet: Oh, bite this prop tongue from episode eight!
- Candace: Whoaaa, trippy! I'm having one of those lucid dreams where I know I'm dreaming so I can control it-
- Zebra: [floating by with a campaign design of Candace] I voted for you, Kevin!
We Call It Maze
- Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus! Welcome to my evil space station! [(Echoing) Station! Station! Cookie! Station!] Wait, did you hear that? That "cookie" part? I think my echo is broken. I really do. Anyhoo, have a seat.
- Melissa: Oh my gosh! You're Candace Flynn! You're the girl who won 50 patches in one day! You're on the cover of Li'l Sparks magazine! How did you do it?!
- Candace: Well, let me tell you something, kid. [Signing magazine] It wasn't easy. But the Forest Fire Girls really needed me.
- Isabella: Fireside Girls.
- Candace: That's what I said.
- Monogram: Even his answering machine gives us no clue as to where he is.
- Doofenshmirtz: [Answering machine] Hello! You've reached Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I'm not here right now... or am I? [Evil laughing] Oh, and if you're calling about the piano, it's already been sold.
(Candace, Isabella, and Melissa try to swing, but failed to reach the other side)
- Candace: Oh, This is just great! I thought you're gonna save us, I thought you were supposed to be the perfect Firefighter Girl.
- Isabella: Fireside Girl!
- Candace: That's what I said.
- Buford: Mm! I am to metaphor cheese as metaphor cheese is to transitive verb crackers!
- Buford:Hey! I still want my metaphor cheese! [(Echoing) Cheese! Cheese! Wombat! Cheese!] Hey! I think my echo's broken.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!
(Candace, Phineas, Ferb and Perry are watching a TV commercial about Lindana
- Narrator: This week, we ask "Where they go?" about Pop Stars from the 80's... First up, this perky pop-star stole a One Wonder Hit by declaring "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun!"
- Candace: She looks familiar...
- Narrator: Lindana's real name is Linda Flynn-Fletcher and she's now living in the Tri-State area.
- Candace: What? Mom, mom, mom, mom!
- Phineas: I can’t believe she didn't know that. (Candace then runs to Linda)
- Candace: Mom, mom, mom, mom! You never told me you where a Pop Star!
- Linda: Oh yeah! Well, that was long before you were born. It was fun, but I was happy to give it up to raise a family.
- Candace: But you were Lindana and you wanna have fun!
- Linda: Well, now I'm Linda and I wanna stir broth.
- Ferb: Phineas, I know what we're gonna do today.
- Phineas: Yes. Yes you do.
(Candace obsessed with busting appears with Jeremy)
- Jeremy: Hey Candace.
- Candace obsessed with busting: Have you seen Candace?
- Jeremy: Well I can see you right now
- Candace obsessed with busting: No, no, no, not me me the me that isn't me
- Jeremy: (Confused) Uh...
- Candace obsessed with busting: You know, bla-bla-bla-bla, Jeremy is so amazing, hearts, rainbows and unicorns bla, that me...
- Jeremy: (Confused) Gosh I guess I could say yes I have...
- Candace obsessed with busting: Where?
- Jeremy: (Scared) Nowhere, I mean not today...
- Candace obsessed with busting: Well if I come back and if I have a flower in my hair, you tell me! Find Candace, find mom, bust bust bust...
(Candace obsessed with busting leaves, and appears Candace obsessed with Jeremy)
- Candace obsessed with Jeremy: Hi Jeremy!
- Jeremy: Hey Candace, you have a flower on your hair.
- Candace obsessed with Jeremy: I know...
- Jeremy: Okey, you're kinda scaring me...
- Candace obsessed with Jeremy: Oh, I could just stare at you all day long...
- Jeremy: Listen, I gotta get back to work, but if you like I can swing by your house after I'm done.
- Candace obsessed with Jeremy: Really?, I would love that.
- Jeremy: Okey then I see you after work..
- Candace obsessed with Jeremy: something to remember by...
(Candace obsessed with Jeremy smiles, pointing to her cheek. Jeremy tries to kiss Candace, and she smiles more, but Candace obsessed with busting grab her away, leaving Jeremy alone)
- Jeremy: maybe later
(The kids are controlling Perry, but they think it’s a game, and Buford starts to hit Perry with his own arm)
- Buford: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
- Phineas: Ferb controls his right foot.
- Baljeet: And I move him back and forth.
- Phineas: What we need to do?
- Buford: It’s the same, lets hit that pharmacist!
Rollercoaster: The Musical!
- (at the beginning of the episode)
- Phineas: You know, Ferb, one of the best times we ever had was when we built that roller coaster. We should do it again! But this time, as a musical! Whad'ya say? We'll do all the same things, except we'll break in a spontaneous singing and choreography with no discernible music source!
- Ferb: Hmmm. What assurance would we have that everyone else would also break into song and do the same thing?
- Phineas: I don't know. I think they probably will.
- Ferb: Fair enough. I'm in.
- Monogram: My whole world is the screen... (the episode ends) OH COME ON!!!
- Princess Baldegoon: Maybe, we live.
- Candace: Okay, you can go now. (running in barefoot, record scratches) Wow. I've been giving all this power and i've chosen to use it run to gold coins barefoot. I'm a genuis! Hahaha!
Candace Gets Busted
- Linda: Young lady, you are so busted!
The Great Indoors
(A rock falls on Adyson's head)
- Ferb:Sorry, Adyson
- Adyson, dazed:The salamanders are back.
- Stacy:By the way, the best part was when you used him as a table. (closes curtain) BUSTED!
Run, Candace, Run
- Candace: (Angrily) Don't you have a catchphrase to say or something?
- Phineas: What is she talking about? Hey, have you seen Perry around?
- Phineas: 'Cause I haven't.
Last Train to Bustville
- Isabella: Hey Phineas, whatcha doin' over there?
- Phineas: My steering wheel is a little loose, I think that-
(Isabella was standing next to him)
- Isabella: Do you need some help?
- Phineas: Well yeah, can you hold it while I tighten it?
- Isabella in a happy mood: Gladly.
(She holds the steering wheel around Phineas)
- Phineas: Well, that's perfect.
- Isabella: Yes, yes it is.
Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama!
- (After a series of non-sensical clips...)
- Candace: What the heck was that?
- Baljeet: That is what I said! "Oh, let's give all the weird stuff to Baljeet! Who cares if it does not make sense out of context?"
The Belly of the Beast
- Stacy: We're going to need a bigger captain.
- Buford: I am a shark. I can poop in the ocean!
- Baljeet: You're not going to, right?
- Buford: Keep pushing, dweeb.
- Stacy: So, did a shark really eat your leg?
- Captain Kid: Probably, but he definitely chewed on my arm.
- Candace: Well, at least we'll all get wet. (a giant jet of water hits her) Really...Really!
- Phineas: [looking up with Ferb] Huh, so how do you think our cows will do on the moon?
- Ferb: Well, photosynthesis will start to create oxygen and then eventually an atmosphere. Our bovine friends will be fine.
- Phineas: Cool. We'll know where to go for ice cream.
- Irving: Phineas and Ferb say bake at 350 for one hour. Serves two. Speaking of 'serves two,' I was thinking, you know, after you girls are done here maybe we could... (Candace shuts the door in his face) Okay, that's cool too. We'll just... we'll just put a pin in it for now.
- Candace: I don't know, Stacy; I've got a bad feeling about this. What am I going to do if it isn't even edible?
- Stacy: Well, technically, it is English food....
- Baljeet: Hey! What do you mean you blame Baljeet?!
- Male Singer: Well, it was clearly your responsibility.
- Baljeet: Where are you getting your information from, disembodied reggae space voice?!
- Male Singer: Hey, I have a name you know.
- Baljeet: Oh yeah, what is it?
- Male Singer: Well... it's... disembodied reggae space voice, but that's a coincidence! You didn't know that.
- Baljeet: Uh, look who's sensitive. Besides, Buford could have brought the marshmallows.
- Buford: Hey, leave me out of this.
- Phineas: Guys, guys, we have limited time here. Baljeet, could you please stop arguing with the soundtrack?
- Baljeet: He started it!
Ask a Foolish Question
- Phineas: We're going to make a super computer!
- Buford: What? Your mom wants a super computer? What is she? Some kind of nerd?
- Phineas [to Linda]: Whole-grain & fat-free. You know us so well.
- Linda: Yes, yes I do.
- Buford: How would I know what adults like. What am I a computer?
- Phineas: (referring to a zoo platypus) Hey, it looks like you, Perry. Of course, it doesn't look nearly as smart.
- Perry: [chatters]
- Candace: I'm borrowing your platypus.
- Phineas: Ok. Have fun!
- (Perry chatters)
- Candace: (to Perry) Will you stop squirming? You're a platypus. It's not like you have somewhere to be.
- Phineas: You know, Ferb, I've been thinking since there's nothing more fun than fun, why not add fun to everything? (Ferb takes out a piece of paper, folds it in half and sets it on his nose) Fun shoes... Fun oatmeal... Fun origami...well, origami's already fun. (sees the paper on Ferb's nose, that looks similar to a house) Fun...house! Great idea, Ferb! We'll turn our house into a funhouse! By, you know, adding fun! They Are Having Fun House Playing And Watching Sesame Street Season 32 3950 Pbs Kids Sprout
- Major Monogram: Oh... the Marsh Maneuver! I haven't seen one of those since 1974!
- Carl: '74? You had a perm back then!
- Major Monogram: Stay off the Internet, Carl!
- Phineas: You know what, Ferb? This is gonna be the most interesting thing we've ever built.
- Ferb: And the tallest.
- Phineas: Yes, and the tallest.
- Ferb: And the heaviest.
- Phineas: Wow, we're chatty today, aren't we?
- Isabella: Hey Phineas, whatcha doin'?
- Phineas: We made Candace the best phone ever.
- Candace: Hey! Wait a minute! All this phone does is ... make phone calls.
- Linda: Sorry, Candace. You lost four phones in four months. I got you the cheapest replacement I could find. If you lose this one, it's life without a phone for Candace Flynn.
- Candace: Life without a phone for Candace Flynn? But, but that's me!
- Candace: (while hanging off of a cliff) Talk about a cliff-hanger. (cell phone makes a "rim shot" sound)
- Candace: (runs to her broken cell phone) Oh no, Phonesy! What have they done to you? (grabs some pieces of the phone) Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me?
- Phineas: (gets close to Candace) I can hear you, Candace.
- Candace: Oh great! It still works! Yeah, Phineas, I was just telling you that ... (realizes Phineas and Ferb on her side)
- (Candace leaves garage)
- Buford: She's gone! Lets talk about her!
Magic Carpet Ride
- Ferb: Does anyone else want to be king of the world?
- Phineas: Eh, keep it, bro. It suits you.
- Candace: I don't get it, I thought these things are right about everything, I mean, look. [cracks and reads the final fortune cookie quietly; hands it to Stacy]
- Stacy: [reads fortune cookie] Don't believe everything you read; Words to live by.
Bad Hair Day
- Stacy: A hair emergency, the worst kind.
- Linda: Wow, you are good!
- Phineas: Girlfriend, please.
- Phineas: [to Candace] Your hair looks simplicious!
- Ferb: Have you tried tossing your head back?
- Stacy: Hey, where's Perry?
- Candace: (glares at Stacy)
- Stacy: What, I'm like the only one who hasn't said it.
- (Mrs. Johsons reads the dart gun instruction manual.)
- Mrs. Johnson: Congratulations on your purchase of this dart gun. There are many others like it, but this one is yours.
- Phineas: What if bounce houses were made for bigger kids?
- Buford: Hey!
- Phineas: Slightly bigger kids. And what if they just happened to be totally amazing? I stand before you today and I hereby declare that... that uh, a little help Ferb? [Ferb turns on a fan blowing leaves and newspapers toward Phineas] That nobody has yet done justice to the bounce house concept, and that it is up to us to show the world what a bounce house can truly be. For if not us, then who? And if not now, then when? And if not when, then...something else! Gentlemen I know what we are going to do today, but first, anwser me this: Where's Perry? [Fan stops] No seriously, where is he? I don't- I haven't seen him.
Phineas and Ferb Interrupted
- Candace: What the heck is wrong with these two?
- Buford: It's like they were hit with a dull and boring ray.
- Perry: [opens his eyes and begins to back away]
- Isabella: Baljeet, you speak boring. See if you can do anything.
- Baljeet: Oh, I speak boring. And getting a Whittling Badge is soooo exciting. [walks to Phineas and Ferb]
- Buford: Meow! Cat fight!
- Baljeet: So, nice weather we are having.
- Phineas: You know, I was just saying to Ferb that the atmospheric pressure seems low today. Which would suggest cloudy skies yet it's completely sunny. Although it would be interesting to take an exact barometric reading. Did you know that while meteorologists used millibars to chart atmospheric pressure, a barometer has a second scale, or ring, which reads in hectopascals? Of course, it doesn't matter what measure you choose if your barometer doesn't have its sensory range...
- Baljeet: [becomes dizzy listening to Phineas]
- Isabella: Oh no! Baljeet's in trouble! I gotta get him out of there! [pulls Baljeet out] Baljeet, focus! Come back!
- Baljeet: I have never gone so far into deep dull before.
- Phineas: Hey, I know what we're going to do today! [everyone gets excited] We're going to watch golf on television!
- Candace: What?! [takes the blueprints] Okay, we got to jump start these guys.
A Real Boy
- Norm: Good morning, sir!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Eh...
- (Norm throws a dozen eggs, shells and all, into a frying pan.)
- Norm: One egg or two?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: None. I don't like the way you make them. You always leave the shells on!
- Norm: I like mine crunchy!
- Buford: Hey look! It's one of those...things!
- Baljeet: Yes, a big one!
- Isabella: Hi Phineas, whatcha doin'?
- Phineas: Well, you know those little spring suction cup thing that you put down and never know when you're gonna pop up in the air?
- Isabella: Yeah, what are those things called anyway?
- Phineas: I don't know, but Ferb and I built a big one.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Sure, it would be nice to have a son, I mean in addition, someone to have a nice game of catch with, but...
- Norm: Sir, you can have a game of catch with me! I have always thought of you as my fath-
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Norm, you're in my light!
- Norm: -therrr.
- Norm: You like playing ball with me, your son.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Really, I like that?
- Norm: Yes.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: What else do I like?
- Norm: Crunchy eggs for breakfast.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I do? Man, what kind of weirdo am I?
Mommy Can You Hear Me?
- Candace: Mom, turn around!
- Linda (to Candace): Do you think you can entertain yourself up here alone?
- Candace: Sure, I can count useless limbs. One.
- Candace: Stacy, you got to help me.
- Stacy: Okay.
- Candace: (hugs Stacy) Thank you!
- Stacy: I am such an enabler.
- Truck Driver [to Phineas]: Delivery. Hey aren't you two a little young to be receiving a seasoned grill, 300 pounds of coffee, 200 pounds of fatback, four tons of lumber and assorted wheat, rye and pumpernickel breads.
- Phineas: Think about it. Age really isn't the issue here, right?
- Truck Driver: You got a point there, kid.
- Lawrence: That's what I love about you Americans, you're like big fun children.
- Linda: Yes, yes we are.
- Candace [to a customer]: Hash browns or fruit?
- Customer: Hash browns!
- Candace: You're havin' fruit!
- Customer: Aww...
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, I can't fight you and drive at the same time!
- Customer: Do the Eggs Southwest have bacon in them?
- Candace: Ferb! Bacon on the Southwest?
- (Ferb gives a thumbs-up.)
- Candace: Yeah, there's bacon.
- Customer: Is the bacon good?
- Candace: It's bacon...
- Customer: Okay, I'll have...
- Candace: Not gettin' any younger here.
Tour de Ferb
- Greg Lemond: That's the spirit! USA! USA!
- Baljeet: I am from India.
- Isabella: I don't care what it is. The hair dryer is mine.
- Candace: Giant Skiddley Whiffers?! That is so bustable! And yet, so tempting. But so bustable! And yet, so tempting.
- Phineas: You wanna play?
- Candace: Yes! I'm the sneaker!
- Buford: I get dibs on the truck!
- Isabella: [on the hair dryer] Booyah!
- Phineas: I claim the fedora and Ferb picks the nose!
- Sound: Rimshot
- Baljeet: [mad and on the yellow unicorn] You know, real unicorns are pink. I'm just saying.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You know, fire is the leading cause of fire.
- Baljeet: When do I get to go! (gets tossed a electronic die that flashes 1) This is going to be a long game.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You have to leave! It's not safe for little kids. I mean, for practically adults. Flee! Back to the city! Away from danger!
- Vanessa: Like what?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [points to the bushes] Like that!
- Perry: [pops out from the bushes in a bear costume and growls]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: See?
- Vanessa: Alright, that's enough! Really, Perry, really? I expect more from you.
- Perry: [looks down in shame]
My Fair Goalie
- Buford: [to Ferb's cousins after they call a soccer ball a football] You dweebs! That's a soccer ball! This is a football!
- Isabella: Yeah, I once saw Ferb play an entire game of soccer using a pumpkin! And he didn't even break it! To this day, his motivation for doing so remains shrouded in mystery.
- Phineas: Does anyone have a piccolo? Buford?
- Buford: Gah! Someday, someone's gonna ask for some obscure musical instrument, and I won't have it. [takes out piccolo from pocket]
- Phineas: Impossible? The only thing that's impossible is impossibility.
- Beckham: I'm terribly gobsmacked!
- Phineas: Yeah, I guess I could smack a little gob, myself.
- Phineas: So, how did it go Dad?
- Lawrence: I'm not absolutely sure, boys, but I think I just became the king of the pharmacists.
- Phineas: Awesome!
- Phineas: Oops! Outer ring. We'll try again.
- Buford: Zero! Write that down, Baljeet!
- Baljeet: Oh, yes. By all means, I do not want to forget to add zero later.
- Rodney (to Dr. Doofensmirtz): You broke my Izer!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Inator! Inator!
- Rodney: Shut it!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No, you shut it!
- Lawrence: Today Danville, tomorrow the world!
That's the Spirit
- Buford: What kind of person hands out these weird orange peanuts? We gotta find a better neighborhood.
- Phineas: That's strange. I've never seen this place before. You'd think we would have noticed it.
- Buford: I'm gonna give those orange peanuts a second look.
- Buford: The light under his chin makes his story pretty convincing.
- Baljeet: Actually, there is no scientific evidence for the existence of ghosts.
- Buford: What do you know? You're a daffodil.
- Baljeet: Daisy!
- Buford: Case closed.
- Candace: Oh please.
- Russel: Oh this always happens.
- Phineas: Don't panic everyone.
- Isabella: How can I panic when I'm holding your hand?
- Buford: I think that's my hand.
- Isabella: Ew!
- Phineas: Wait a minute. If you're a ghost and you have a pumpkin on your head, what does that make you when you were alive?
- Ferb: The probability of a humanoid-vegetable hybrid is exceedingly remote.
The Curse of Candace
- Candace: Well, I can lift heavy objects, and I can levitate, and...and I can't see my reflection in the mirror.
- Ferb: Sounds like a vampire to me. [Ferb backs up into the doorway, shielding his face]
- Phineas: Woah, woah, woah, woah. Come here, Ferb, come here.
- Phineas: And why would marathoners be following anyone besides, you know, three guys from Kenya.
- Lawrence: Well, this isn't much of a horror movie. Where are the rock and roll musical numbers?
Escape from Phineas Tower
- Phineas: The entire galaxy. That enough elbow room for you?
- Ferb: Well, for today.
- Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, my brother and I are here today to give you a thrilling display of escapement arts as we attempt to extract ourselves from this. The most complicated trap ever devised my man or child, a computer controlled tower, so fiendishly clever, that its blueprints had to be viewed in a smoked mirror to avoid driving its creators insane!
- (During Dr. Doofensmirtz's flashback)
- Young Roger Doofensmirtz: Sweet Aunt Bephy, you have always been my favorite.
- Aunt Bephy: Roger, so polite. Heinz?
- Young Dr. Doofensmirtz: That's some mole!
- (To the present time)
- Dr. Doofensmirtz: Heh, it takes a long time to clean out a chicken coop with a spoon.
- Baljeet: (after Phineas and Ferb enter the escape tower) Legally speaking, what is our liability here?
- Phineas: What's Perry doing in a pillory?
- Ferb: Actually those are stocks, a pillory forces the wearer to remain upright, exposing them to poking and prodding from passers-by.
- Phineas: Wow, I'd expect that kind of esoteric knowledge to come from someone a little older; 50 or 60, or perhaps a septuagenarian.
- Isabella: (after finding out there are no potatoes left in the tri-state area to make latkes) What am I going to do? Have you ever seen senior citizens riot? It’s like a slow gray tornado of canes and false teeth!
- Phineas: I think that Buford's saliva must have combined with the potatoes' DNA to make some sort of Buford potato hybrid.
- Lawrence: Goodbye, boys. Have a great day. I'm off to work.
- Phineas: Goodbye, Dad, have fun buying from auctions and private sells preforming minor refurbishments to the purchase items, marking up the prices and selling them to your customers.
- Ferb: Our dad sells antiques.
- Phineas (about Ferb Latin): All the fun of Pig Latin but it's safe for vegetarians to use.
- Isabella: Oh, Phineas, I think your new language is onderful-werb!
- Phineas: By jove, I think she's got it!
- Norm: I'm ack-berb
- Norm: Ank-therb Ou-yerb.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, is that Swedish?
A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Hey, aren't you Kelly Clarkson?
- Kelly Clarkson: Yes, yes I am.
- Isabella: What's wrong, Phineas? You don't look very happy for Christmas Eve.
- Phineas: Everyone's come together for the holidays, but Perry's still not here.
- Isabella: He does know it's not really Christmas, right?
- Ferb: Every family Christmas special needs a little false drama.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait, wait. What's going on here? Is it Christmas already? What happened to Fall? I'm totally unprepared.
- Isabelock (Isabella): Mei Phinabunk, Whakka tuka'?
- Phinabunk (Phineas): Mei Isabelock, Gerb n mi maka wha.
- Isabelock (Isabella): Oh, a wha.
- Gerb (Ferb): I guess we should wait for tomorrow before we tell them our new language.
- Phinabunk (Phineas): Yes, yes, we should.
- Jeff "Swampy" Marsh: Okay. But, where's Perry?
- Can-tok (Candace): Phinabuk and Gerb! Can-tok in charga!
- Phinabunk (Phineas): Can-tok in charga? Du mhakka satellakkah?
- Princess Isabella: Doofus Khan, he has been a plague on our land for far too long!
- Phineas (sees Perry rippling): What's he doing?
- Ferb: That's a ripple dissolve. He must be having a flashback.
- Phineas: Does he know that we can't see it?
- Elderly Phineas (after many years of building the Great Wall of China): Well, that took longer than expected.
- Elderly Ferb: But, it is a great wall.
- Elderly Phineas: Yeah. So, what you wanna do tomorrow? (Ferb glares at him and leaves) What? I kid. We can rest, how about a game of mahjong?
- Phineas: There it is, the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness.
- Buford: You know what I hate about the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness, just to get there you have to cross the Uncrossable River of Uncrossableness.
- Baljeet: Who name all this thing?
- Buford: That guy over there, the Redundant scribe of Redundantness.
- Phineas: Holy mackerel! how did you guys defeat all these soldiers?
- Soldier: We're okay.
- Buford: There was nothing to it. (starts rippling)
- Phineas: There's no time for flashbacks! We have to go!
- Buford: What flashback? I'm just rippling! It relaxes me.
- Regent Monogram: Doofus Khan, you are very...
- Doofus Khan (Dr. Doofenshmirtz): I know I am, but what are you? Nah! Ha, you like the tongue? Set me back a week but totally worth it.
- Regent Monogram: Carl, duck!
- General Carl: No actually sir, it's a dra... (The mechanical dragon's tail hit him) Ow! Oh, that kinda duck.
- Isabel (Isabella): Yes, you much first cross the raging river of uncertainty by the way of bridge of comprehension. Then, you must race toward the swamp of straight-forward attitude. Then it's snack time, I brought along with some apples. After that, you will enter the cave of 10,0000 monsters, where the sword Excaliferb can be found. Ferb, only a warrior with a true hearten can draw the sword and wield it in battle against the evil sorcerer, Millifishmirtz.
- Ferb-a-lot (Ferb): Yeah. Okay, I'm down with that.
- Carl: Sir, you're crushing my spirit.
- Major Monogram: Yes. Yes I am.
- Ferb-a-lot (Ferb): Behold evil wizard Millifishmirtz, I hold the sword Excaliferb. This mystical vorpal blade was given to me by The Lady of the Puddle. Get a good look at it, for it is the instrument of your demise! (the blade of the sword falls off the hilt) Well, uh, okay. So big deal, the end comes off.
- Phineas: Whoa! This must be the sprite, Isabel.
- Isabel (Isabella): What art thou doin'?
- Phineas: Apparently you are going to guide us on a quest.
- Millifishmirtz (Dr. Doofenshmirtz): (laughs) Finally, my greatest nemesis vanquished. Now, Perrible the Dragonpus prepare to meet your dim... doom, I mean doom. Prepare to meet your.. Man, talk about blowing the moment.
- Millifishmirtz (Dr. Doofenshmirtz): I am not afraid of anything! Except, you know, girls, whales, squid... I should really make a list... (Notices that everyone is looking at the sky) Wait, what are you looking at? (sees the genetically twisted Candadere)
- Candadere (Candace): Phineas and Ferb-a-lot, you are so busted!
- Millifishmirtz (Dr. Doofenshmirtz): Would you look at that, it's a, uniwhale scorpiopegasquidacorn girl. What are the odds? Actually, it's a bit more ridiculous than scary.
Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon
- Phineas: You fiend, you think we're just gonna give it to you?!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes, yes I do.
- Phineas: By the way, anyone else find weird that we're saved by an anthropomorphic platypus?
- Ferb: The world holds many mysteries, and what seems strange to one maybe common place to another. The fez was weird though, I mean we're not in Egypt.
- Phineas: Someone around here bound to knows something about the lost temple of Juatchadoon?
- Isabella: (in the same tone as in her "Whatcha doin" line): Juatchadoon?
- Phineas: Exactly, we don't know if it really exist?
- Isabella: It exists, all right, and I know where to find it.
- Isabella: I'm also a certified Damsel in Distress.
- Isabella: Sorry, boys.
- Phineas: What?
- Isabella: (giving the amulet and the map to Doofenshmirtz) Here you go.
- Phineas: Isabella! You dirty double crosser!
- Isabella: I forgot to give you this one. (hands him business card that says "Isabella: Dirty Double Crosser" and Phineas frowns)
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, you totally 1-upped my entrance!
- Vivian: (to Baljeet) That was very smooth of you to rescue us at the last moment.
- Baljeet: That is just how I'm playing it, babe.
Monster from the Id
- Candace: What's that
Remains of the Playtpus
- Dr Doofenshmirtz: I'm a genius!! For real this time
- Dr Doofenshmirtz: It's gonna get hot in here!!! (rips off lab coat, leaving him in just his underwear)
- Carl: Happy place! Happy place
- Phineas: Just dump it there like a caged guy in a squirrel costume! (Ferb stares) What? I stand by that metaphor.
- Major Monogram: Check it out. (draws details on the hand he traced) Look! It's Agent T! (shows the drawing to Perry, who stares in shock) What? Too soon?
- Major Monogram: Cheese
Perry the Actorpus
- Phineas: We can spend the rest of day with you for a change!
- Phineas: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna put a hat on Perry!
What a Croc!
Meapless in Seattle
- Baljeet: Buford, what are you doing?
- Buford: The forest is filled with patch-crazed Europeans and I'm a bear in the woods. What do you think I'm doing?
- Phineas: Ooh! Ooh! I know!
- Buford: Am I on speaker phone? Get me off speaker phone!!!
Where's Perry Part 1
Coming July 2012
Wheres Perry Part 2
- (Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet and Isabella are sinking in quicksand while Buford watches from a cliff)
- Phineas: Hey, Isabella, anything in the Fireside manual about escaping from quicksand?
- Isabella: (sarcastically) I'll bring it up at the next meeting.
- Buford: Hey, guys, I landed up here, should I come down?
- Baljeet: No! Throw down that vine! (Buford picks up the whole vine) Just one end!
- Buford: Ok, but I don't know what you're gonna do with half a vine.
- Baljeet: (to Phineas) Is it me? It is him, right?
- Phineas: (to Buford) Now, Buford, pull! (Buford grunts, but the vine doesn't move) On the vine!
- Buford: Oops, sorry!
- Phineas: (aside, to Baljeet) It's him.
- Doofenschmirtz: See, one day you're gonna look back at this and laugh.
- Major Monogram: Doofenschmirtz, I assure you that in the future, any time I look back on this I will personally go to your house and smack you.
Mom's In The House
Canduce: Busy Bees
Quiestest Day Ever
- Candace: My busting sense is tingling!
- Agent P: Doonkleberry!
- [First lines]
- Phineas: I'll be honest, Ferb. I'm having a hard time putting a positive spin on this. But, I guess that's life, huh? One minute you're having the best day ever, the next you're being fed to a monster the size of a two car garage.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, well, welcome to my life!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [to 2nd Dimension Dr. Doofenshmirtz] You know, I can't help but notice that your scar goes over your eye patch.
- 2nd Dimension Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yeah?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: ...Nothing.
- Phineas: [to Perry after discovering he's a secret agent] I'm... I'm sorry. I'm just having trouble processing this right now.
- Perry: [hands him a pamphlet]
- Phineas: [reading] "So you've discovered your pet is a secret agent"... I don't want your pamphlet! [tosses it away]
- (When Lawrence and Linda take a young Phineas, Ferb, and Candace to the animal rescue center)
- Lawrence: Come on, kids. Pick out any pet you want.
- Linda: Oh look, Phineas! This one's looking at you! [picks up Phineas and shows him the cat looking at him]
- Lawrence: And this one's looking at you, Ferb! [picks him up and shows him the dog looking at him]
- [Candace walks through the aquarium section and all the fish swim away as she approaches them]
- Young Candace: Why won't anything look at me?!
- [When Phineas and Ferb choose a pet playtpus]
- Young Candace: What would you even name a platypus?
- Phineas: [narrating about when they got Perry] 'Course Ferb and I knew exactly what to name you.
- Young Phineas and Ferb: Bartholemew.
- Young Perry: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
- Phineas: Then when we got home, we renamed you Perry.
- Phineas: [as he plays platypult baseball] Oh, yes, sports fans, that may be the best hit ever in the history of platypult baseball! And the crowd exhales loudly through their mouths! [breathes loudly]
- Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry?
- Phineas: Yeah, he's our pet platypus.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Is every platypus named Perry?
- Phineas: In a perfect world, yes.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Aww, well, he's a cute little fella. Hi, there. [tickles Perry's chin] Gootchie... [Perry bites his finger] OW, OW, OW!
- Phineas: Perry, no! [he and Ferb pull him off] We do not bite the elderly!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Again, ow. No, it's okay, platypusses don't typically like me.
- Phineas: [after trying to get the piece for the portal out of Perry's mouth] Perry, no. This is not tug of war. This is not tug of war!
- Phineas: [to Perry] So not only have you been leading a double life this whole time, but you sat there and let us help an evil scientist open an evil portal into an evil dimension, and you did nothing to stop us?!
- Ferb: Well, he did pee on the couch.
- Dr. Doofensmirtz: Wait a sec, I just realized something... that was a conscious choice, you peed on my couch!
- Perry: [smiles cheesily]
- Doofenshmirtz-2: Fix the machine!
- Phineas: No!
- Doofenshmirtz-2: Then you forced my hand! [takes out dog puppet; talks as puppet] Fix the machine!
- Phineas: No!
- Doofenshmirtz-2: Really? When I was your age, I did whatever a puppet told me to!
- Phineas: How old do you think we are?!
- Doofenshmirtz-2: Oh, I don't know. 1, 2? It's hard to tell with the one eye!
- Phineas: All this time, we're like, "He's a platypus, he doesn't do much." Well, apparently you do...you..you..you're tangled up in the.. whoa!
- Phineas: Wow, saved by unconventional architecture.
- Normbot: Get me, I'm a Georgia O'Keeffe painting!
- Phineas: [to Perry] You're a secret agent? And you've been living with us this whole time? Was that evil guy right? Were we just a cover story to you? I mean, were you ever really our pet or part of our family? [Perry looks away sadly] Well apparently not because you didn't trust us enough to tell us! Anyone else here leading a bizarre double life? [Ferb raises his hand] Put your hand down, Ferb. [Ferb lowers his hand down]
- [Dr. Doofenshmirtz-2 shows Dr. Doofenshmirtz a picture of Perry without his hat.]
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): Now, what do you see?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: An ordinary platypus.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): [flips page to Perry with his hat] NOW, what do you see?
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: PERRY THE PLATYPUS.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz (2nd Dimension): You know, I'm beginning to see why you haven't taken over as leader in your dimension.
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: [to 2nd Dimension Dr. Doofenshmirtz after hearing he became evil losing his toy train from his childhood] That's your emotionally scarring backstory? That's your great tragedy? Dude, I was raised by ocelots, literally, disowned by my parents and raised by Central American wildcats, and you're telling me you lost a toy train? That's it? That's all you got? Really? I had to work as a lawn gnome, I was forced to wear hand-me-up girl's clothing, neither of my parents showed up for my birth!
- Candace (2nd Dimension): Are there four of you in this room?
- Phineas: Five counting Perry.
- [When Phineas disowns Perry and sends him away to follow 2nd Dimension Doofesnhmirtz's order to turn himself in]
- Phineas: You know, I used to think you couldn't spell "platypus" without "us". [walks back inside]
- Ferb: Well, you could, but it would just be "Platyp."
- Candace: [after seeing her 2nd dimension self] Hey, is that me? I look good!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh you caught it! Here, unlock me.
- Candace: Are you even paying attention?!
- Dr. Doofenshmirtz: (looks at the lava) Oh that's right the lava, it can wait.
- Phineas: Perry, let go!
- Perry: [looks at Phineas in shock]
- Candace: What?! No, no, don't let go!
- Phineas: Perry, trust me!
- Candace: Two words! La-va!
- Phineas: Trust me!
- Computer: Phineas and Ferb, this message is top secret, for your ears only. If you are hearing this, the Tri-State Area is at emergency alert level alpha red. Agent P needs your help.
- Phineas: How does he know we'll know what to do?
- Computer: He knows you know what to do. He also knows you two are the only ones capable of helping him because you two are the only ones capable of creating these.
- [A door opens.]
- Computer: Auto scan replication initiated.
- [Suddenly machines begin to recreate inventions Phineas and Ferb have built in the past.]
- Phineas: Ferb, I think I know what we're going to do today!
- Candace: Now this is what I call busting!
- Phineas: Alright, everyone, let's kick some robot chassis!
- Doofenshmirtz 2: [to Phineas, Ferb and Perry] Hope you've got your 3-D glasses, 'cause I'm coming at ya! [prepares to kill them]
- Ferb: Well, we've had a lot of great days, but we only have one Perry.
- Phineas: Hey, buddy. Ferb and I just wanted to say our goodbyes. You know, we thought we'd met the real you when we found out you were Agent P. But the fact is, pet, secret agent, they're both the real you. You are now, and always have been a great pet, and a great friend. [strokes his fedora] We're going to miss you, Agent P. [Perry hugs Ferb, then hugs Phineas] I love you, pal.
- [Last lines]
- Isabella: Uh, Major Monogram?
- Monogram: Yes?
- Isabella: So, none of us will remember any of today?
- Monogram: That's right.
- Isabella: Good! [kisses Phineas on the lips]
- Phineas: [surprised] Isabella!
- Isabella: Hit it, Carl!
- Phineas: Wait, wait, wait!
- [Carl fires the Amnesia-inator, erasing everyone's mind]