One on One (TV series)

One on One (2001-2006) is an American sitcom, airing on the now defunct UPN network, about a single sportscaster, who becomes a full-time dad when his teenage daughter moves in with him when his ex-wife decides to accept a job out of the country.

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Season 1 edit

When Flex Got Breanna [1.1] edit

Breanna: And I am behind your back and all your pickup lines is whack.

Flex: When my daughter is in town, my pants don't come down.

Jailbait [1.2] edit

Arnaz: You guys want to be my groupies?

Spirit and Breanna: No

Arnaz: Groupies get in free.

Spirit and Breanna: We can come

Arnaz: (singing) Baltimore Woman! Stay away from me. Baltimore Woman! Apartment 203! take my chances, hit the door! I don't want see your face no more! Now woman!

Breanna: Uh, I'm in apartment 8.

Arnaz: first you ruin our friendship, now my song!

Radioactive Platonic [1.3] edit

Flex: I don't care if he's your butcher, your baker, your candle stick maker

Flex: It won't be no rub a dub dubbing up in here.

Duane: in other words, splish splash your ass somewhere else

School Dazed [1.4] edit

My Life as a Dog [1.5] edit

Breanna:[writing a letter to Tracy] Dear Tracy I hate you, you disgust me, missing much, Breanna.

Spirit: Girl you are baring your soul too much.

Arnaz: Especially for a guy who smells like Cheetos.

Let's Wait Awhile [1.6] edit

Playing Possum [1.7] edit

tiffiny:Your cheers are way to ghetto.

Breanna: Hold-up who she be callin' ghetto.

Tiffiny: You and your friend are spunky

Breanna: thanks we can keep a good attitude.

Tiffiny: I mean spunky the funky possum one can be the head and one could be the ass.

Phantom Menace [1.8] edit

Fifteen Candles [1.9] edit

Mi Casa Es Mi Casa [1.10] edit

Flex: You are not Destiny's Child, you are my child so Beyonce yourself back in the room and change.

Tonya:What in the hell is going on here

Thanksgiving it to Me, Baby [1.11] edit

Santa Baby [1.12] edit

Tame Me, I'm the Shrew [1.13] edit

The Case of the Almost Broken Heart [1.14] edit

Adventures in Double-Dating [1.15] edit

Spirit: So the whole breakup with Keith was fake.

Breanna: Girl, it was as fake as the Gucci boots his momma was wearing.

Me and My Shadow [1.16] edit

It's Raining Women [1.17] edit

Breanna: You're not going to tell my daddy I scratched his record.

Duane: Aw. The tears of a child, and yet I feel nothing.

Breanna: (mimicking Arnaz) Come on Bre. Lets relive the 80's. Its gonna be a stone cold groove.

Arnaz: Oh. Ok Ms. "You know." Uh-huh Uh-huh.

The Way You Make Me Feel [1.18] edit

Natasha: You must be Spirit. Breanna was right you're not afraid to take fashion risks.

Spirit: Yeah, girl. So you'll be surprised with what I can put together. BAM, my mama's old bathroom rug from yesterday, a new coat today. Girl, it's 2002, get with times.

Love Means Never Having to Say I Know You [1.19] edit

[Arnaz on the phone with Natasha]

Arnaz: I'm countin' the minutes till you get back from your grandma's, Natasha. No, I miss you more. Yes I do! Yes I do! Yes I do!

Spirit: Are you as disgusted as I am?

Breanna: Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am!

Natasha: Your lips are so soft.

Arnaz: So are yours, Breanna.

Natasha: BREANNA!?

Fatal Attractions [1.20] edit

Derrick: You wanna be down with us?

Arnaz: Me, a member of the McKinley Pros? AWESOME! I mean...hell yeah.

Breanna: That was really cool of you, Arnaz. Maybe I can forgive you for what you did with Natasha in my room.

Arnaz: Dang, Breanna. Do you really wanna know what happened with Natasha in your bedroom? Nothing! In fact, she broke up with me, and hasn't spoken to me since. You happy?

Misery [1.21] edit

Flex:take of care your self.

Tonya: Not before I take care of you Mr.Flex "Walk out on me" Washington.

He Got Game...Again [1.22] edit

Nicole: You know Flex, it looks like the only thing your gonna get is "best looking" in the team photo.

Flex: Yeah especially if you're in it.

Season 2 edit

I Believe I Can Fly (1) [2.1] edit

Malik: Girl, you know you want me.

Vanessa: Please I need a sugar daddy not a milk dud.

I Believe I Can Fly (2) [2.2] edit

Nicole: Breanna we got to go. We need to buy you some winter panties.

Breanna: I know she did not just say panties. Dang I miss my dad.

Coach Guillory: What part of lights out don't you understand? Do I have to say it in Spanish? El light-os off-os!

[ At Breanna's house]

Nicole: What part of bedtime don't you understand? The bed or the time?

[at the room]

Flex: But, coach, I'm talking to my daughter

[at Breanna's house]

Breanna: But, Mommy, I'm talking to my Daddy.

Nicole: Breanna, it's late. Say "Bye-bye, Daddy".

[at the room]

Coach Guillory: Say "Bye-bye, babygirl".

[at Breanna's house]

Breanna: Bye, Daddy.

[at the room]

Flex: [imitating Guillory's voice] Bye-bye, babygirl.

Arnaz: Breanna, you know how I feel about you and I've never tried to hide it, and I think you feel the same way, but since your leaving I can understand if you dont' wanna say anyth-

Breanna: (kisses Arnaz)

Arnaz: If I'd known this was gonna happen, I wouldn't have had pickles for lunch. I would've had the salad. Poppyseed. Poppyseed tastes good.

Breanna: you talk to much

Unemployment Up, Pride Down [2.3] edit

Daddy in Overdrive [2.4] edit

Pop Art [2.5] edit

Give Me Some Credit [2.6] edit

Give'em an Inch, They'll Throw a Rave [2.7] edit

Arnaz: Hey Foxy....

Cheryl: What did you say, boy?

Arnaz: [surprised] Momma???!!!

Cheryl: Flex, did you honestly think you could be able to trust your kid [rest of the parents laugh]

A Fla-dap by Any Other Name [2.8] edit

Crappy Birthday [2.9] edit

Is It Safe? [2.10] edit

Everybody Loves Whom? [2.11] edit

Daddy, I Don't Need an Edumacation [2.12] edit

Daddy's Other Girl [2.13] edit

The One About Your Friends [2.14] edit

The Test [2.15] edit

Take This Job and Love It [2.16] edit

Where Everybody Knows Your Name [2.17] edit

I Know What You Did Last Thursday [2.18] edit

Meet the Parents [2.19] edit

Checkmate Daddy [2.20] edit

Heart to Heart [2.21] edit

Stuck on You [2.22] edit

Find My Wife, Please [2.23] edit

Season 3 edit

It's a Family Thing [3.1] edit

Stepmom, Misstep [3.2] edit

Creepin [3.3] edit

PTAmore [3.4] edit

2 Young 2 Curious [3.5] edit

One Hand Washington's The Other [3.6] edit

I Hear White People [3.7] edit

Keeping It [3.8] edit

Tears of a Clown [3.9] edit

Spy Games [3.10] edit

Breanna: I'll call her cab, moving van and ambulance!

It's a Miserable Life [3.11] edit

Dream Seller [3.12] edit

East Meets East Coast [3.13] edit

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Hip Hop World [3.14] edit

The Catch [3.15] edit

Spirit: I can't believe we've been hanging out with the girl Arnaz lost his virginity to

Breanna: *Nothing*

Spirit: I can't believe that WE'VE been hanging out with the girl ARNAZ lost his virginity to

Breanna: *Nothing*

Spirit: I CAN'T BELIEVE-

Breanna: Enough Spirit! I can't believe we've been hanging out with the girl Arnaz lost his virginity to.

Arnaz: Breanna its me! Open up!

Breanna: Oh no. What do I say?

Spirit: How about, "We should change your name to "Light Switch", because anybody can turn you on."?

Breanna: No. That's all cool if you're immature. But me? I'm an actress. I have to give him "Cool Breanna". The "I don't care Breanna". *walks to door and opens it* Enter!

Arnaz: Breanna, I'm sorry about Charlotte. Look, I even wore an athletic cup for protection. Let me have it.

Breanna: *in British accent* Oh you silly boy. The only reason you would need a cup is for some tea. Would you care for a spot?

Arnaz: No thanks. I'm gonna go. *in British accent* Cheerio

Breanna: *in British accent* That went very well don't you think?

Spirit: Breanna, he's gone. You don't need that accent anymore.

Breanna: *in British accent* I very well do. Its bloody well keeping me from crying

Breanna and Spirit: I'm funky. You're funky. We're fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-funky.

Arnaz: I have to go. I have sex. I mean I have a test!

Arnaz: What are you doing here with...my friends.

He's Not Heavy, He's My Half-Brother [3.16] edit

Spy Games Reloaded [3.17] edit

Cabin Fever [3.18] edit

Sleepless in Baltimore [3.19] edit

No More Wire Hangers [3.20] edit

Breanna: I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. If he catches us, he's gonna kill us.

Arnaz: I can't think of a better way to die.

Jennifer: Whenever my dad starts drinking. I feel like it's my fault.

Ms. Swain: hmm. Why do you think you should feel responsible for your dad's drinking?

Arnaz: Yeah, you can't watch em 24/7. I mean, why should you have to? they're adults. Every disappointment in their lives shouldn't mean they have to get drunk and not care if the laundry's done. Or if you've had any dinner. Or if they've bathed in the last three days.

Mr. Swain: You sound angry.

Arnaz: Yeah, I'm angry. My dad's out of OUR lives. Doesn't she know that hurts me too? Maybe I should start drinking.

The Prodigal Brother [3.21] edit

Breanna: Daddy, I can't help it, if the mountain came to me.

Arnaz: Mountains...or boulders? [flexes his biceps]

Spirit: Arnaz, all of your showing off is giving me a headache.

Arnaz: Then, maybe you should take an aspirin, and wash it down with a...six pack! [lifts up his shirt, revealing his abs]

Splitting Hairs [3.22] edit

The Play's The Thing (1) [3.23] edit

Holly: Everyone's staring at us.

Flex: I know. It's like we're an exhibit at a tolerance museum.

Bright Lights, Big City (2) [3.24] edit

Season 4 edit

We'll Take Manhattan [4.1] edit

Breanna: My God, he's getting dumber by the minute. What did I ever see in him?

[Spirit lifts up Arnaz's shirt to show his abs]

Breanna: And, I'm back in.

[cell phone ring]

Spirit: It's my momma.

[cell phone ring]

Breanna: It's my daddy.

[cell phone ring]

Arnaz: It's my Duane.

Flex: Your ran away with my daughter, Arnaz. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't choke the life out you?

Zen Daddy [4.2] edit

Breanna: Daddy, its been a whole week, and Arnaz still hasn't called. And I'm pretty sure he knows how to use his phone, because I showed him again before we left.

Flex: Oh, baby. I'm sure he's fine. We would've heard something by now. I mean, that's what the 11-o-clock news is for.

Breanna: Daddy!

Arnaz: Did somebody say pizza?

Spirit: So, Arnaz slept all day?

Breanna: Yep. Lazy boy, with no goals, no direction, and no body fat. God, I love him.

Follow That Car [4.3] edit

Dirty Laundry [4.4] edit

Rock the Vote [4.5] edit

Manic Monday [4.6] edit

You Don't Have to Go Home... [4.7] edit

Daddy's Home [4.8] edit

Who Brought the Jive Turkey? [4.9] edit

Lost in the Headlights [4.10] edit

Flex: Nobody looks like the girls in the magazines! The girls in the magazines don't even look like the girls in the magazines! Baby Girl No Matter what you're beautiful.

Mojo No Mo [4.11] edit

Shock Jock [4.12] edit

Goodbye, Mr. Chips [4.13] edit

Lock Blockin [4.14] edit

Rock and a Hard Place [4.15] edit

Contract High [4.16] edit

Accidental Love (1) [4.17] edit

Accidental Love (2) [4.18] edit

Glug, Glug [4.19] edit

Spirit: My head hurts. This is worse than when my weave is too tight.

Save the First Dance [4.20] edit

Cap and Frown [4.21] edit

The Graduates [4.22] edit

Season 5 edit

One on One Remix [5.1] edit

Breanna: Ok Daddy. I'll go to California.

Flex: Thank you, Jesus!

Breanna: But Arnaz is coming with me.

Flex: Why me, Jesus?

Money's Tight and So Are My Abs [5.2] edit

D-Mack:[Talking to pet dog] "We can hit up the mall later. If I get some girls, I'll pay Lisa to let you hump her leg and Arnaz hits the boardwalk."

House Dad [5.3] edit

Static Clingy [5.4] edit

Study Buddy [5.5] edit

Arnaz: [reciting his poem about D-Mack trying to move in on Breanna] You're always talkin' about what you got. The stripes, the cheddar, the women you clot. Can you really be anymore than what I see? Cuz to me you're just 5ft 4 in a tight little Tee. You did you're little poem, but you didn't say much. And...you're so skinny, I can see your nipples touch. So back off, son. Please give it a rest. Unless, you think you're hard enough, to put me to the test.