Oliver Herford (December 3, 1863 – July 5, 1935) was an American humorous poet and illustrator.
- Diplomacy: Lying in state.
- The Altogether New Cynic's Calendar of Revised Wisdom for 1907 (1906)
- Actresses will happen in the best-regulated families.
- Quoted in The Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotations (1986) p. 9
- A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well.
- A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
- Age, like distance lends a double charm.
- Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
- Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.
- If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one; go ahead, get married.
- Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
- Many are called but few get up.
- Modesty is the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.
- My wife has a whim of iron.
- Tact is to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.
- The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.
- There is no time like the pleasant.
Last modified on 17 May 2013, at 06:13