Office Romance is a 1977 Soviet comedy film about a timid senior statistician Anatoly Novoseltsev and his female boss Lyudmila Kalougina, a strict plain unmarried woman called "our frump" behind her back. Following his friend's advice Novoseltsev starts courting Kalougina on purpose to be promoted; started for mercenary ends, it eventually results in mutual love that transforms both of them.
- Directed by Eldar Ryazanov. Written by Emil Braginsky and Eldar Ryazanov, based on a stageplay "Coworkers" (Russian: Сослуживцы, Sosluzhivtsy) by Eldar Ryazanov and Emil Braginsky.
- As everyone knows, labor ennobles man, and that's why people go to work with pleasure.
- This is Shoura - nice but, unfortunately, active. At some point she was promoted to public work and there's been no way to discharge her from it ever since.
- I have children - a boy and... a boy. Two boys.
- (to Shoura, angrily): Go to... the accounting department!!! And even farther!
- I won't live that long, I have a hazardous job!
- That's all for you, Novoseltsev... Wash-out! My old woman is interested in you. Exploring your personal records!
- Footwear is what makes woman.
- Lyudmila Prokofyevna, where did you pick up this vulgarity? You wag your hips like a loose woman!
- What distinguishes a businesswoman from a Woman? A gait! Just look how you walk! ....Huddle yourself up, tie yourself in a knot, shrivel like an old torn shoe and here you are dashing to work as if hammering in polings!
- As a matter of fact, one could even teach a hare to smoke. There's nothing impossible for a person with intellect.
- Ryzhova, the bottle blond that always walks with string bags. Look, here she sits, all in terrible roses.
- In a woman, there should be mystery.
- Ryzhova: When a woman is told that she is a good girl, does it mean that she's an utter fool?
- Kalougina: I have such an unstained reputation, it's high time to compromise me.
- Kalougina : You have stated that I am tough...
- Novoseltsev : Why, you are tender...
- Kalougina : inhuman...
- Novoseltsev: Human!
- Kalougina: heartless...
- Novoseltsev: Hearty!
- Kalougina: dry...
- Novoseltsev: Wet!
- Novoseltsev: Now let's sort it out with you. When will you stop being making mischief? Why is everyone always complaining about you?
- Vova (Novoseltsev's son}: But I behave myself!
- Novoseltsev: Why don't they complain about the other children, eh? And why have you been eating play dough?
- Vova: But I ate it with sugar!
- Novoseltsev: You're a big boy, you know perfectly well that we don't eat play dough. And what did you guys lock Masha in a closet for?
- Vova: You see, I locked her in, but the key got lost...
- Novoseltsev: March! And don't even think of smearing glue on the teacher's chair, you hear!
- Kalougina: Wait, it dawned upon me... Are you drunk?
- Novoseltsev: No, when I am drunk I am violent. (gives a neighing laugh) But right now I am quiet.
- Kalougina: I am lucky!
- Kalougina: I hope you're not going to play music now.
- Novoseltsev: Yeah... I want to... sing!
- Kalougina: What a misfortune!
- Novoseltsev: Why? My friends say that I have a beautiful baritonal... descant!
- Novoseltsev: We love you... In the bottom of our souls... Somewhere very deep...
- Kalougina: So deep that I don't even notice it!
- Verochka's husband (on the phone): I understood why we broke up. We need to have a baby, and as soon as possible!
- Verochka: You want us to have a baby? But I can't now.. There are two hours left till the end of the workday, and Kalougina is here... I can't go off...
- Kalougina: I made a ruin of myself... And I am only thirty-six...
- Novoseltsev (amazed): How thirty-six?!
- Kalougina: Yes, I am younger than you. How old do I look?
- Novoseltsev: You look... thirty... five!
- Kalougina: You are lying again!
- Verochka: Breast forward!
- Kalougina: Breast? Vera, you're flattering me!
- Verochka: Everyone is flattering you.
- Shoura: Boublikov died! <...> Donate 50 copecks for a wreath!
- Novoseltsev: If someone else is born or dead today I will be left without a dinner...
- Novoseltsev: Don't hit me on my head, it's my vulnerable spot!
- Kalougina: It's your hollow spot!
- Kalougina: You are a real contemporary man!
- Novoseltsev: How dare you insult me like this?!
- Kalougina: Were you bad at school? I knew that you're a former dunce!
- Novoseltsev: Let's leave my shadowy past alone.
- Andrey Myagkov — Anatoly Yefremovich Novoseltsev
- Alisa Freindlich — Lyudmila Prokofyevna Kalougina
- Svetlana Nemolyayeva — Olga Petrovna Ryzhova
- Oleg Basilashvili — Yuri Grigoryevich Samokhvalov
- Liya Akhedzhakova — Verochka
- Georgi Burkov — Zavkhoz (Logistics manager)
- Lyudmila Ivanova — Activist Shoura
- Pyotr Shcherbakov — Pyotr Ivanovich Boublikov
- Nelly Pshennaya — Samokhvalov's wife
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