Life in HellEdit
Life in Hell is a comic strip series, much of which has been collected into a series of books
- All my friends say I should leave him because he's mean, angry, and abusive. I need to get some new friends.[specific citation needed]
- Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?[specific citation needed]
- He's very sensitive to my moods. I just wish he didn't cringe so much.[specific citation needed]
- Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.[specific citation needed]
- Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.[specific citation needed]
- Variant: Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come.
- The longer it takes me to find Mr. Right, the more he's going to pay for keeping me waiting.[specific citation needed]
- We're getting on each other's nerves too much. I think we need to spend more time together.[specific citation needed]
- When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
- "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngsters"; Variant: When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.
- Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said "sex is good." All available evidence, however, points to the contrary.
- Bongo in Childhood Is Hell(1988)