Little Fockers is a 2010 American comedy film and a sequel to both Meet the Parents (2000) and Meet the Fockers (2004) starring Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Blythe Danner, Teri Polo, Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand. It is the first film in the series that was not directed by Jay Roach and was instead directed by Paul Weitz with Roach as one of its producers. It is also the first film in the series that the music was not composed by Randy Newman, instead being replaced by relative newcomer Stephen Trask. In addition to the original cast, Little Fockers stars Jessica Alba, Laura Dern and Harvey Keitel.
- I'm watching you.
- [as Jack is being loaded into an ambulance, to Greg] Focker!
- We've had this date since the beginning, Greg.
- Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?
- [sternly] Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?
- That's disgusting.
- What about Mommy and Daddy, is everything okay with them?
- Mmm-hmm. And what do they fight about?
[Sam laughs and nods]
- Who's Andi?
- Like I always tell you, there's nothing wrong with spying as long as you suspect foul play. So, who's Andi?
- If I go down, Greg, I need to know someone will be responsible for the whole Byrnes clan. So I ask you, Greg, are you prepared to be... the Godfocker?
- Focker, there is no way I'm going to an ER room with this thing. Now you need to stick me and you need to stick me now! I'm having a dick attack! Stick me!
- I'm not gay myself. But if I were gay, I would certainly be proud to choose a life partner like Gay Focker. And that's his actual name.
- Dr. Bob. Scumbag.
- Greg, he saw his father inject a needle into his grandfather's penis. He already had issues. That's something he might never recover from.
- What wheel?
- Sam might be three quarters Byrnes, whereas Henry could very well have a double dose of Focker in him. Double dose.
- I know you were telling the truth about Andi, Greg.
- Yeah. The pulse on your carotid antery remained steady as you pleaded your innocence.
- [to his cat after seeing the remixed video of Greg's rant] That's the Godfocker? [cat hisses]
- Yeah, well I have eyes too. So I'll be watching you... watching me.
- To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
- Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood.
- Nobody's tempted, nobody...
- [sarcastically] Our dear friend the Buddha? How's he doing? It's been so long. Do you ever listen to yourself?
- Well, I got good news for you. You're not Jesus.
- What are you talking about? You were his golden boy.
- Really? He said that to you?
- Circle of Trust.
- He's not a doctor.
- Not in *any* sense of word.
- Mmm. Well, I think Harvard's cheaper.
- Don't do that.
- You're not going to erase my son's memory.
- I'm getting off the wheel.
- [losing it] The wheel! The little hamster wheel that we're all running up to get a little taste of your little water thingy!
[imitates a hamster]
- Just please, approval! Approval! Please! Give me some of the Jack... yeah...
- Really? To you waving your hands over him? He's not a Ouija board, Kevin.
- [to Kevin] Why don't you get on your stupid monster yacht with your bubble-butt Russian girlfriend and do Jell-O shots off of Deepak Chopra's butt?
- Why is he cursing at us?
- We're just trying to help you, sir...
- I guess they fight sometimes.
- Um, like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi.
- I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying.
- Andi gives Daddy his boners.
- Look, it's natural to get a little tempted.
- Look, even our dear friend, the Buddha had to pass through samsara on his way to enlightenment.
- I speak from the heart, off the cuff, like my man, JC at the Sermon on the Mount. You said that's what you've always admired about me.
- Not in the Western sense of word.
- Greg, he's not responding to my treatment.
- Okay. I get it, Greg. I screwed up. The pressure of being in that family finally got to me.
- More like his golden bitch. He wanted Deb and me to get married in Oyster Bay. Done. Can we name our baby after him? "You got it, Jack." Then he gives me this whole spiel, right, about how I'm next in line to his throne. He came up with this name for me, the Bobfather.
- Ah. He pulled the same shit on you, didn't he? In that family, we're all just hamsters on Jack Byrnes' little wheel. His Circus of Trust or whatever he calls it.
- I had no idea how deep I was until I stepped away, and I'll tell you something. Once I got off the treadmill, I've never been happier.
- You kids wanna pick your nose and flick your boogers? Do it!
- But do it only when it's dry. Don't do a wet one.
- [to Roz, on a three-way call with Greg] Why can't you support my dreams the way I've always supported yours? When you wanted to try new sex positions for your research, I was your guinea pig!
- I pulled my hamstring doing a reverse cowgirl!
- I never went soft on you.
- Let me talk. Listen, will you?
- My two cents. The way you deal with Jack, no matter what he does, just smother that guy with kisses. He'll be putty in your hands.
- Will you get out of here so I can shtup my wife?
- Hey, Bernie!
- [after meeting Andi] Wow, you told me she sold boner medicine, Greg. You didn't tell me she *is* boner medicine.
- [about The Early Human School] It's actually considered the Harvard of kindergartens.
- Could you and Dad keep it down, please?
- You volunteered!
- That's because you did it backwards.
- Bernie, do you hear how you're upsetting your son?
- As an early Hannukah present, I'm going to send you and Pam a box of these musical condoms.
- Robert De Niro as Jack Tiberius Byrnes
- Ben Stiller as Gaylord "Greg" Focker
- Owen Wilson as Kevin Rawley
- Blythe Danner as Dina Byrnes
- Teri Polo as Pamela "Pam" Focker
- Jessica Alba as Andi Garcia
- Dustin Hoffman as Bernard "Bernie" Focker
- Barbra Streisand as Rosalind "Roz" Focker
- Harvey Keitel as Randy Weir
- Laura Dern as Prudence
- Thomas McCarthy as Dr. Bob Banks
- Kevin Hart as Nurse Louis
- Daisy Tahan as Samantha Focker
- Colin Baiocchi as Henry Focker