|This film article is a stub. You can help Wikiquote by expanding it.|
- Michael: Any chance for getting time off for good behavior?
- Angie: Sunburst Cookies just light up my day!
- Barry: [after vomiting in a hat] Never again. From now on, it's only Kosher Franks.
- Barry: [after seeing Angie for the first time] Va Va Va Vroom. Well, Hello Dolly!
- Ed: [after Mikey tells him he invited Angie to his house] Well, now representing the Omen. Did you check her head with a little 666?
- Michael: Yeah, there were only two sixes. We got her just fine!
- Geena: [after Asian girl sings] I love that song.
- Michael: Mee too. What were you playing?
- Michael: I'm something of a celebrity.
- Irate: What kind of celebrity are you? Asshole of the Month?
- Michael: No, that's all political.
- Angie: I'll have coffee.
- Galaxy Waiter: [laughs] Coffee?
- Angie: Yeah, coffee. It comes from beans. Ever heard of it?
- Barry: How much of this crap do I have to eat anyway? What am I? Jobe?
- Carol: Oh, I can't wait to get back to Connecticut.
[on the set of a cereal commercial]
- Barry: You two clowns leave while I get into character.
- Michael: What character? All you got to do is swallow.
- Girl: [overacting] I hate it when it's raining. We don't get to go outside for recess or ride our bikes after school!
- Angie: That's great. But you're not going to audition like that, right?
- Girl: What do you mean?
- Angie: They're just cookies. Don't make it sound like a commercial for hemorrhoids.
- Michael J. Fox as Michael "Mikey" Chapman
- Christina Vidal as Angie Vega
- Cyndi Lauper as Geena Briganti
- Nathan Lane as Ed Chapman
- David Krumholtz as Barry Corman
- David Huddleston as Mr. Cocoran
- Victor Garber as Brian Spiro
- Mary Alice as Mrs. Gordon
- Kathryn Grody as Mrs. Corman
- Paula Garcés as Janice
- Blake McGrath as an acrobat (age 9)