- Ward: June, you're vacuuming in pearls. You know what that does to me!
- Eddie, Jr.: You looked as though you just walked out the runaway.
- June: Eddie?
- Eddie, Jr.: Yes, Mrs. Cleaver?
- June: Cut the crap.
- Gilbert: Yo, I'm Gilbert. This summer, my parents shipped me off to camp. I caught impetigo. And when I got back, my dad had moved out. Only since then he moved back, but he's still sleeping in my room and he's sleeping on the couch.
- Judy: All right. Sit down and shut up! You're going to learn this stuff if I have to shove it down your throat! And just where do you think you're going... Beaver Cleaver?
- Beaver: Thanks anyway, Judy. But I'd rather go through 3rd grade a hundred time than listen to your ugly voice for one minute!
- Judy: Wow, Beaver. You really pulled up your grade. You got a C.
- Beaver: Really?
- Judy: Yeah! A "See me after class".
- Karen: You're SUCH a nice guy.
- June: I'm worried. I'm worried. About our. About our. Beaver. Beaver.
- Beaver: Oh no, Mom. Oh no, Mom. Oh no-no-no-no-no, Mom.