Law & Order
- In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police, who investigate crime, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.
Prescription for Death [1.1]
- Dr. Edward Auster: You solve every case you work on?
- Logan: We can tell a felony from a traffic ticket.
- Dr. Edward Auster: Look, a patient walks in with a headache. She could have a subarachnoid hemorrhage, a berry aneurysm, a retro-orbital tumor...or does she just have a headache? Do you give her an aspirin? Or do you saw open her skull?
- Greevey: You make this speech at funerals?
- Philip Nevins: Isn't it possible that pneumonia killed Suzanne Morton?
- Medical Examiner: It's possible that death rays from Mars killed her. But I don't think so.
- Dr. Edward Auster: Well, people like to believe that medicine is pure science. Medicine is a science. But doctors know it's also a lottery.
- Stone: We got what we needed from Dr. Simonson.
- Dr. Edward Auster: An intern, Mr. Stone. Are you planning on asking the cleaning lady to testify, too? About the time I threw the tissue into the wastepaper basket and missed?
- Stone: You know the difference between Auster and a serial killer?
- Robinette: The weapon.
- Dr. Edward Auster: When you practice medicine, Mr. Stone, sometimes the patient dies.
- Stone: And when you're a lawyer, Dr. Auster, some of the people you prosecute are convicted.
- Dr. Raza: My children want to stay in this country, my wife wants to stay, and to stay, all I have to do is to be perfect all the time!
- Mike Logan: Well you, uh, fell a little short of perfection on Suzanne Morton's chart.
Subterranean Homeboy Blues [1.2]
- Stone: Do you have any other personal views on this subject you'd like to air before we walk into court and Ms. Shambala Green hands us our asses on a platter?
- Greevey: What do you want?
- Stone: I'd like someone around here to stay on one side of the issue for ten seconds!
- Stone: You said 'Here's your taste'. Sounds rather cool!
- Logan: We're not talking about 'Squeaky' Fromme here.
The Reaper's Helper [1.3]
- Greevey: Do you think a lot of cops are gay?
- Logan: No way, man. The department's got a special test. They look you in the eye, and if your left eye blinks before your right eye, they know you're gay. [blinks at Greevey with his left eye]
- Jack Curry: What gives you the right to decide how I should live the rest of my life?
- Stone: Unfortunately, you did. Not once, not twice, but three times.
- [A defendant has just punched Stone in the jaw]
- Stone: It only hurts when I prosecute.
Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die [1.4]
- Greevey: How many times would you go out with her before you went to bed with her?
- Logan: Once. Hey, what do you want, a bedtime story? I'd wait until the honeymoon?
- Greevey: Did you ever hear about a new disease they got, called AIDS?
- Logan: Did you ever hear of a new invention called condoms?
- Logan: Are we 'your kind of people'?
- Manager: Well, you make it in the looks department, but the wardrobe needs a lot of help.
- Robinette: At least we gave them justice.
- Stone: Justice doesn't give you grandchildren.
Happily Ever After [1.5]
- Greevey: And guess who it was registered to?
- Stone: Himes, Gilbert?
- Logan: Nope. And not to Ralston, Janet, either.
- Stone: [surprised] Ralston, Alan?!?! Great. He was killed with his own gun.
- Greevey: That's amazing. I know cops who been in shooting cases that can't remember their badge numbers afterwards. Her husband gets shot, she gets shot, victim of a horrible crime, she remembers every second.
- Stone: True love. They'd sell each other out for a nickel.
- Stone: Either she's evil, or she's two years old. She wants what she wants when she wants it.
- Janet Ralston: You don't scare me, Mr. Stone.
- Stone: Oh yes I do, Mrs. Ralston. I scare you a great deal. And I should.
- Greevey: I hate horseback riding. Scares the hell out of me.
- Logan: Scary for the horse, too.
- Gordon Schell: It's a crime of passion, Stone. Pure and simple.
- Stone: A crime of passion is never pure, and it's certainly not simple.
Everybody's Favorite Bagman [1.6]
- 'Simonize' Jackson: You ain't got nothing on me, except what he said. And that's just heresy.
- Greevey: The word's 'hearsay', Simonize.
- Little Girl:Are you the man?
- Greevey: We sure are, honey.
By Hooker, By Crook [1.7]
- Hotel Worker: Fifty cents! I’ve been working hotels for 40 years, and I ain’t seen a two-bit tip since those Kennedys been in office. You see what I’m getting’ at? Then this duke asks me about getting a girl, and I tell him, 'A big tipper like you don’t need no girl!'
- Jasmine: You should have sent your partner. I don't usually do discipline, but I would love to teach him some manners.
- [Greevey has arrested a prostitute]
- Jolene Curtis: You said you weren't a cop.
- Greevey: I lied.
- Jolene Curtis: Isn't there some kind of a legal thing about that?
- Greevey: What, lying? I'm allowed to lie. They pay me to lie.
- Greevey: What do you think?
- Logan: Of a hooker who’s got a lawyer looks like he spends more on clothes than I make in a year? I think whoever’s paying his bill ought to adopt me.
- Cookie Molina: Look, the heart — that's not the part of the anatomy the girls are interested in.
- Greevey: [on Jasmine being bailed out quickly] Look at that. In and out.
- Logan: Just like work.
Poison Ivy [1.8]
- Logan: Somebody heard that shot.
- Police Officer: In this neighborhood? You couldn't get a witness to a sunrise.
- Lt. Gowdy: We’re all one family here, Sergeant.
- Greevey: You an only child? I got people in my family, I wouldn’t believe ‘em they told me the sky was blue.
- Stone: The truth will set you free. It won't always make you happy.
- Cragen: If you're wrong, and you go after cops...
- Greevey: If I'm wrong, I'll go to the grand jury and say I killed the kid.
[Officer Parise's trial has just ended in his suicide]
- Stone: It's the last one, no more cops, it's too hard.
- Greevey: Know why I wouldn't let go? Because there but for the grace of God go I, or any cop. You get caught, you get prosecuted.
- Stone: Didn't know you were a philosopher, Max.
- Greevey: Just an ex-altar boy with a gun.
- Mr. Babcock: Why don't you stick to police work, detective?
- Logan: Why don't you stop trying to cover your ass, Mr. Babcock?
- Greevey: Mike, Mike. Take it easy. [to Babcock] He never recovered from the nuns.
- Stone: I didn't hear you knock.
- Shambala Green: That's because I didn't. If I'd have knocked, you would have heard me.
- Eugenia Rawlings: [about Logan] Are you in charge of this ape?
- Greevey: My cross to bear.
- Logan: [of his mother] She was a bottomless pit. Always 'give me your undivided attention'. And when my old man couldn't take it anymore and whacked her, she'd turn around and whack me. She got this look in her eye... I knew it was coming. And that cold witch in there... she's got that same look.
- D.A. Adam Schiff: What does your gut tell you?
- Stone: Put 'em in a dungeon, put 'em on a wheel, and annihilate 'em.
- Logan: Everything’s a mirror to her. She holds a dying kid up to it, and all she can see is herself and how it affects her. Now you give her sympathy, she’s gonna want to fight. You give her a fight, she’s gonna want a kiss. You give her a kiss and I swear to God she’ll bite your tongue out.
- Jacob Lowenstein: Please. That was therapy.
- Logan: For her or for you?
- Jacob Lowenstein: For her! In Reichian therapy, the patient has to--
- Greevey: Really get to know the therapist, hmmm?
- Ben Stone: :[talking to the DA about the Lowenstein's twisted family life] I feel like I'm floating face down, and there's about a mile of dark water between me and any sense of this.
- Ben Stone:One way or another, that woman hit her child. That's not what bothers me.
- Adam Schiff:What does bothers you?
- Ben Stone:Well...my own rage
- Judge: [To Jacob Lowenstein] You, sir, are beneath contempt.
Prisoner of Love [1.10]
- Cragen: Wow! I can see this leading to a whole new penological outlook -- we will only pursue homicides where the vic died in a state of grace.
- Gary Pardee: Don't make me testify. It'll ruin my career. I'm perfect for young dad parts in commercials.
- Elizabeth Hendrick: Art would be much more pleasant if we didn’t have to deal with artists.
- [Spoken as Police remove a plethora of bondage equipment]
- Elizabeth Hendrick: It's my hope chest.
- Stone: What were you hoping for?
- Stone: Henry Rothman killed himself an hour ago. Couldn't face the thought of prison, I guess.
- Elizabeth Hendrick: Did anyone take a picture?
Out of the Half-Light [1.11]
- Robinette: You think I sold out?
- Stone: Does it matter what I think? If it does I’ll tell you, but it’s something you got to decide for yourself.
- Robinette: You got a ‘shave yourself in the morning’ speech?
- Stone: Maybe. Do you think of yourself as a black lawyer, or a lawyer who’s black?
- Robinette: Depends on the context.
- Stone: You make a decision based on something from within. You live with it, you examine it, it’s all you got.
- Robinette: You think by morning I’ll come to love it?
- Stone: No, but I don’t think you’ll have any problem with the guy in the mirror. See you tomorrow.
- Ronald Eaton: You look me in the eye and you tell me this system is just. This system is equal.
- Robinette: At times the system stinks, Eaton. I know that as well as you do. But don’t for one damn minute tell me that your self-aggrandizing polarization is going to solve the problem. Don’t tell me that tearing down a 200-year old justice system, no matter how flawed, is going to alter the consciousness of a society. Now, we’re past the separate drinking-fountain stage. We’re past legal discrimination. We’re at the hearts and minds stage. And believe me, there’s no quick fix.
- Ronald Eaton: Another zombified soul casts his vote for order rather than justice. Negative peace over positive peace.
- Robinette: Paraphrasing Martin Luther King’s thoughts won’t lend credence to yours. King walked with the angels...you’d slide in slime on your belly to get what you want.
Life Choice [1.12]
- Max Greevey: Seventeen-year-olds shouldn't be doing the thing that makes babies.
- Logan: And crooks shouldn't have guns. Get real.
- Stone: Objection, this case is being judged on the temporal plane, your honor.
- Kevin Donovan: :[talking about the effect of his sister's death. He seems almost numb.] This morning, my father made himself a cup of coffee. Put in milk, sugar...then he went over to the sink and poured it down the drain. He didn't know what he was doing. I was taking the highway to work, and I forgot to get off. I got to 95th street before I realized. I used to have a sister, and suddenly...I don't.
- D.A. Adam Schiff: Amazing. Getting angry. The most emotional issue that the law has dealt with since suffrage. Look at us: three men. Talking about what rights women should have over their own bodies. Now doesn’t that strike you as a little one-sided?
- Mr. Donovan: Our daughter acted according to her own conscience. We can live with that-
- Mrs. Donovan:[interrupts him, distraught] YOU can live with that! A martyr will never be able to tell me what a wonderful day she had at school. A martyr will never have a wedding. A martyr will never have children!
- Stone: If you’re gonna stick your finger in my eye, Mr. Ballard, clean your own nails first.
- Stone: If abortion is murder, then no matter how you feel about Mary Donovan, aren't you guilty of the murder of her unborn child?
A Death in the Family [1.13]
- Greevey: What if it was just you and Walker, alone in an alley, he had no gun, and was willing to surrender?
- Det. Profaci: I'd shoot him in the face.
- Cassie: You know, when I was a little girl, mama used to tell me that you do good? You'll be okay. [pauses] I guess kids got to believe that. 'Else they'd never grow up.
- Landlord: I never got the fuss when a cop gets killed. You guys get paid to deal with scum- Whatcha think's gonna happen, you do that? Two weeks, three weeks... you'll be gone. But I'll still be here, and so will the company that pays my salary.
- Ben Stone: Do you know what this is?
- Convict: It's a gun.
- Stone: [sarcastically] Very good, can you spell gun?
- Convict: Sure. D-E-A-L.
- Stone: I see you've passed the spelling test.
The Violence of Summer [1.14]
The Torrents of Greed (1) [1.15]
- D.A. Adam Schiff: I don’t photograph well with egg on my face, how about you?
- Delivery Man: Look man, you know how hard it is to get work? I keep my eyes closed, I keep my job.
- Greevey: What about your ears?
- Delivery Man: Sure, I hear stuff.
- Greevey: What kind of stuff?
- Delivery Man: Like guys that talk don’t talk for very long. Look, I’ve seen Godfather I, II, and III.
- Cragen: This is New York, remember? Sometimes people get beat up just for the hell of it. Sometimes they even get dead, it's a fact of life.
- Stone: 'Big Frankie', ha, ‘Dandy Don.’
- D.A. Adam Schiff: You too can have monogrammed socks.
- Logan: Let me ask you something. If you liked Isaac so much, why’d you clean his register?
- Hoover: Didn’t look like he was gonna need it.
- Greevey: Did you see anything unusual in the neighborhood this morning?
- Newspaper Delivery Worker: It’s Greenwich Village, man. You tell me.
The Torrents of Greed (2) [1.16]
- Laurel McGinty: I inspect five buildings a day, five days a week, fifty weeks a year. So I missed a couple of violations, I’m human. You never lost a case, Mr. Stone?
- Stone: Well, one mistake is human. Two is perhaps a lapse in concentration. Three is stupid, but the same mistake consistently over a period of two years indicates another form of human fallibility here.
- Laurel McGinty: Such as what?
- Stone: Greed?
- Judge Fishbein: You lost, Mr. Robinette. This is America. One strike and you're out.
- Robinette: That’s why we need a warrant.
- Judge Fishbein: [laughing] A warrant. Sounds like a fishing license to me.
- Greevey: [in a lot filled with exhumed corpses] What have we got so far?
- Logan: Masucci’s greatest hits.
- Stone: Call Cragen and tell him to pick up Masucci.
- Robinette: For what?
- Stone: I don’t give a damn. For spitting on the sidewalk.
- Pilefsky: You’re bluffing.
- Logan: Yeah, you’re right. We’d be real upset if something happened to a piece of crap like you.
- Greevey: From '80 to '88, Beigal made The Post's 50 Worst Landlords list. Last two years, he's spotless.
- Cragen: Maybe he got religion.
- Greevey: You ever hear of Don Quixote?
- Stone: Did you ever hear about David and Goliath? And we have God on our side.
- Logan: Katherine Beigel did in ten seconds what we couldn't do for ten years. Put Frank Masucci out of business. Permanently.
- Stone: Justice is blind, detective. Nobody said it was fair.
- Cragen: Nobody has a 'verbal altercation' anymore, you notice that?
- Stone: You know, this Chamber of Commerce routine is getting on my nerves.
- Logan: Ronald, stupid and tough is a bad combination.
- Ronald Griggs: Yeah, well, it works for you, man, right?
- Mrs Griggs: Maybe if we knew exactly what you were looking for-
- Logan: We wanna know who pulled the damn trigger! 'Cause it sure as hell looks like your Ronnie did it.
- Mrs Griggs: [Turns slowly to Ronnie] Tell them, Ronnie
- Ronald Griggs: [Smugly] No.
- [Mrs Griggs stands up, raises her hand and slaps Ronnie fiercely]
- Mrs Griggs: You think you can play this fool game with me?!
- [Logan Greevey are interrogating Diz Williams, a suspect in the murder]
- Mr Williams: My boy is 13, you can't do nothing like this! You gotta go to juvey, you gotta-
- Greevey: We can do plenty when it comes to felony homicide, Mr Williams! So if you don't wanna blow parole, just shut up!
- Robinette: We need motive.
- Greevey: Who says the little son of a bitch needs motive?
- Cragen: Max...
- Greevey: [loudly and with anger. At each 'Bam' he mimes gunshot] What the hell's his motive for this anyway?! "He took my seat." BAM. "He looked at my girlfriend." BAM! "I need dem shoes." BAM!
- Cragen: Max has been busting his chops on this case.
- Robinette: I understand...
- Greevey: Hey, I can apologize for myself, alright? Only I don't feel very apologetic! I'm fed up!
- Kay’s Lawyer: You haven’t mentioned any incentives for cooperation.
- Stone: No? Well...how is this: if your client doesn’t start talking now, I’ll tear his life apart.
- Stone: The Commandment says: 'Thou shalt not kill.' It does not say 'Thou shalt not kill nice people.'
- Shambala Greene: I'm going for temporary insanity.
- Stone: Yours or your client's?
The Serpent's Tooth [1.19]
- Sasha Osinski: [on the witness stand] Some of my money in bank, yeah.
- Stone: Some? Now, the bank records show that there was, last month, $6,011,301.26.
- Sasha Osinski: If you say so.
- Stone: And the month before that, $9,615.
- Sasha Osinski: Sounds right.
- Stone: A six million dollar difference, uh…good month at the discount store, sir?
- D.A. Adam Schiff: A prosecution based on debt re-financing. That’s going to get you real far with the jury.
- Stone: I’ll lay it out for them. I'll draw them a Monopoly board.
- D.A. Adam Schiff: Yeah, I’d like to see them get from 'Park Place' to 'Go.'
The Troubles [1.20]
- Logan: :[They look through a Lebanese restaurant's garbage ] How could somebody eat something that could even get to smell that bad?!
- Special Agent Axelrod: What’s the matter with you guys in the D.A.'s office? Got no peripheral vision? Can't you see the big picture?
- Robinette: We're just not blinded by it.
- Robinette:Its a whole new concept: crime without punishment
- Patrick McCarter: I'm no terrorist. I'm a soldier
- Daniel Mallahan: What he means is, he is a man of conscience.
- Stone: What he means is, he is the misguided, romantic dupe of those who consider him completely expendable.
- Logan: You know, it's weird. Two of our grandparents come from the same town. We've both got uncles that's priests.
- Greevey: And you're both Libras. That’s destiny for you.
- Logan: [reading faxes written in Arabic] Looks like a breakdancing chicken wrote this.
- Greevey: O'Connell will have you believing there's no snakes in Ireland.
- Logan: There aren't.
- Greevey: Uh, touché.
- Ian O'Connell: May I ask you a question, sir? How with the map of Donegal on your mug did you ever end up with a name like Stone?
- Stone: Happenstance, sir. Same way you ended up with the name of a real Irish patriot.
- [After O'Connell has dismissed lethal IRA operations as 'human error'; following the testimony of a woman whose family was killed by a bomb O'Connell himself planted]
- Stone: [To O'Connell] Take a good look. There's your "human error".
Sonata For a Solo Organ [1.21]
- Logan: [about McDaniel having his kidney stolen] Whoa! Talk about getting your pocket picked!
- Cragen: Grand theft kidney. Terrific.
- Surgeon: Kidney, kidney, never leave home without one.
- Logan: You didn't think it odd that she had an anaesthesia machine delivered right to her apartment?
- Medical supplier: Last week, I had a guy order 100 bedpans. For jello molds.
- Drew McDaniel: [testifying in court about his kidney being taken] People talk about feeling violated when some punk breaks into their apartment and steals a TV set. I felt raped.
- O.T.N. Executive: The public must understand that the Organ Transplant Network is the one true democracy. One of the few instances where money doesn’t talk. At all.
- Joanna Woodleigh: If you prosecute him, he'll die. I know he will. And for what? Mr. MacDaniel is going to be a very wealthy man.
- Stone: With only one kidney.
- Joanna Woodleigh: Just like I have, Mr. Stone. The hope is we'll both live long and happy lives.
- Stone: Please believe me, I'm glad you're healthy again. I know how close to death you were. But, Ms. Woodleigh, do you really think your father would have acted any differently if you had needed a heart instead of a kidney?
- Greevey: It's easier to bust out of Attica than to leave a hospital without paying.
- Reberty's Attorney: What's it going to take to make you happy, Stone?
- Stone: The Mets in the Series, peace on Earth, and Dr. Reberty in Dannemora.
The Blue Wall [1.22]
- Robinette: Plane lands, 2:45. Doorman says Detective Shearer and his wife got home at 4. He went upstairs, dropped his bags, left again 10 minutes later.
- Det. Shearer: To get the drycleaning.
- Benjamin Stone: After your honeymoon? That's very romantic. Paul?
- Robinette: According to the doorman, Detective Shearer was gone for 3 hours.
- Stone: Your drycleaner in Philadelphia?
- Peter O'Farrell: If there's any crookedness, I'll buy the whole department dinner.
- Logan: At these prices, you'll have to take out a second mortgage.
- Peter O'Farrell: Only if I'm wrong.
- Cragen: This is freakin' amazing. I don't know a computer disk from a slipped disk.
- Judge: Before we adjorn, I want to note for the record that I am appalled. We often say that our public officials are not above the law, but that's not enough. They represent it; if they don't obey it, who will?
- [Logan is forced to go a grief counselor after Greevey is murdered]
- Logan: I'm fine.
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Hey detective, you ever hear of the seven stages of grief?
- Logan: No.
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: The first one is "denial".
- Daniel Magadan: You know how to read a rap sheet, don’t you? Five arrests, three convictions.
- Paul Robinette: So you’re a loser, so...?
- Don Cragen: ‘...maybe threaten his old lady.’ Too bad he didn’t take that route, Marie would have kicked his ass.
- Logan: Max is dead. I accept it. But I’ll never accept it, you know?
The Wages of Love [2.2]
- Phil Ceretta: I wish we had a gun...
- Mike Logan: I wish I had a girfriend named "Lola".
- Paul Robinette: Never seen you like this before.
- Ben Stone: I have never done anything this potentially stupid before.
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: He's psychotic; he's not psychopathic.
- Phil Cerreta: What's the difference?
- Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: Psychotic is when you believe the doorman was sent from Planet X to put mind control devices in your teeth. Psychopathic is when you blow the doorman away and take out 20 other people while you're at it.
- Ms. Murdoch: How come every freak in the country lives in New York? Why don’t some of you people move to Nebraska?
- Sal Violet: I’m from Nebraska, sweetie. How do you think I got this way?
- Christian 'Lemonhead' Tatum: I want that reward.
- Phil Cerreta: I thought Polesky was your friend.
- Christian 'Lemonhead' Tatum: I'm flexible.
- Mike Logan: Crazy, not stupid.
- Ben Stone: [to a mentally ill witness] Your psychiatrist tells us that you have moments of rational thought. We're going to take care of you, and you're going to go back in there and have one of those moments.
God bless the child [2.5]
- [Mike Logan and Phil Cerreta listen to 911 call recordings, describing what they hear.]
- Cerreta: Grandmother fell down the stairs... Daddy's beating up mommy...
- Logan: An accident... boiler room explosion...
- Cerreta: Want to move to a small town in New Jersey? I know one with a nice police chief.
- [Logan and Cerreta jokingly discuss the alibi of a cab driver]
- Logan: It's not bulletproof. I used to drive a cab- I'd some nights park outside of Susan Dennis' house, take care of business, and pay the fare myself.
- Cerreta: [chuckles] So that would have been what, three or four minutes?
- Logan:[grins] More like a trip to the airport.
Out of Control [2.08]
- Dr. Olivet: There's nothing as powerful as the unspoken.
- Dr. Olivet: Girls are constantly bombarded with images of who they should be to attract boys; movies...magazines...television...Madonna...
- Andrea Fermi: If you think that a woman doesn't know when she's being raped, then I hope you never find out how wrong you are.
- [The suspicious burning of a Latino nightclub, 'El Cielo', leads to the deaths of 53 people, and is quickly determined to be arson. ]
- [Logan and Cerreta interrogate a hungover suspect.]
- Logan: Where'd you go after that?
- Chuey: No se.
- Logan: No se? Or won't se?
- Cragen: What is less than square one?
- Cragen:The entire city is enraged at the deaths of people who, normally, they wouldn't have time of day for.
- [The arsonist reveals being hired to burn the nightclub.]
- Defence Attorney: If he goes to jail, whoever hired him will kill him.
- [Robinette picks him up and pins him against the wall]
- Robinette: Listen, man: you don't go to jail and there are about 500 family members happy to kill you, you know what I'm saying?
- Cesar Pescador: El Cubano, he told me to send them a message. 'A few of them burn, so what?' he said. 'there's a lot more where that came from.' A lot of Salvadoreans in that club. And they...got the message. They got the message.
- DA Adam Schiff: Why would a man in the position to help his people do something like that? What the hell happened to 'give me your huddled masses?' What the hell happened to this city?
His hour upon the stage [2.11]
- Mobster: [after finding a body in his freezer] I even called around. 'Hey, did anybody whack dis guy what's in my freezer?'
Star Struck [2.12]
- Robinette: We're not Gods. We're not even angels.
- Cerreta: These guys sound like Boy Scouts.
- Logan: Or shadow lives. Somebody paid good money to have them killed- you peer long enough, something emerges from the shadows.
- Logan: Law Degree. A license to lie.
- [Teasdale is convincing Tina to lie about Frank Kemp's whereabouts]
- Tina McManus: Sorry, I'm not very good at this.
- Larry Teasdale: For 25 thou you'd better be.
- [Stone and Robinette discuss the hiring of Arthur Gold as Charles Martine's lawyer.]
- Stone: If you're referring to the Jacobs case, that was six years ago, we were understaffed, and that laundry list of paperwork he made was abusive.
- Robinette: It was good enough to suppress the murder weapon. Good enough to beat you.
- Schiff: No excuses, you screwed up!
- Stone: I thought-
- Schiff: -Brains didn't enter into it!
- Frank Kemp: What are you putting in your coffee, Stone? 'Cuz you're high if you think-
- Stone: I think this offer is good for another thirty seconds.
- [Arthur Gold has lost the case to Stone.]
- Arthur Gold: You're not that smart- you never were. [grins] Call me, we'll do lunch. [He drives off.]
- Robinette: You'd really eat lunch with him?
- Stone: Oh, maybe. If he orders crow.
- Robinette: Eye for an eye's worked for thousands of years.
- [a serial killer has avoided the death penalty]
- Stone: I don't know, I think 25 to life is pretty good.
- Robinette: I know two people that would call it a gift.
- Stone: Maybe this would cheer them up. [hands him a newspaper]
- Robinette: The obituaries?
- Stone: Richard Speck murdered eight nurses and died in prison. He was 49. Cheney's 42.
Skin Deep [3.1]
- Cragen: So where does that get us? A lover's quarrel?
- Logan: After sex? Most people, you fight, and then have sex.
- Cerreta: [To Cragen] He's not married.
- [On interviewing models who might have killed a photographer]
- Cerreta: Look on the bright side. If we do this all week, you'll never have to buy Playboy again.
- Logan: What're you saying, I treat all women like objects?
- Cerreta: More specific. Like furniture.
- Cotton Queen: Sure, he asked me to do it. $2500 a week on my back instead of $500 on my feet.
- Logan: Well, it must have been tempting.
- Cotton Queen: Maybe to you. But, honey, I don't think you'd survive. In my experience, cops just can't perform that often.
- Cerreta: So you never turned a trick, huh?
- Cotton Queen: Most beauty contests, some cracker judge would put his hands on my ass and offer me more money than I had ever seen to be his "date". I didn't do it then, I don't do it now.
- Logan: Hey, Phil. You know that warrant you told that health club guy you'd get? Exactly what probable cause did you have in mind?
- Cerreta: A senile judge.
- Cragen: She's a hooker, Paul. She slept with her pimp, she got very angry, and she stabbed him. Call Eyewitness News, we've never seen anything like this in New York City before.
- Shambala Green: [To Stone] Murder two? You couldn't convict her of bad manners.
- Stone: If we had perfect cases, we wouldn't need juries.
- Stone: Okay, so it's not a walk in the park.
- Schiff: Yes, it is. You're going to get mugged.
[Regarding a steel pipe used as to kill a victim]
- Cerretta: I don't think we're gonna trace it. We're still working on gun control. Pipe control's a way off.
- Cerreta: You save your high school prizes?
- Logan: Yeah. First prize. Multiple dress code violations.
The Corporate Veil
- [Cerreta and Logan are investigating the death of a teenager due to a defective pacemaker. They have discovered it was second hand, and was in somebody else beforehand.]
- Cerreta: This pacemaker has a lifespan of five years; That first cardiologist said it was in Mrs Barnett for three years.
- Logan: That's right. And Halin said when he implanted it in Roberto, it was three years before the expiration date.
- Cerreta: How's your arithmetic?
- Logan: I know that three plus three equals Murder Two.
Prince of Darkness [3.8]
- [In an undercover job, Cerreta has been shot by a gun dealer]
- Cerreta: Thirty years...I never even...fired...
- [The murderer of the hitman the DA's office was prosecuting has fled to Columbia, and they are discussing the case. The phone rings.]
- Schiff: Yes? [Listens] Uh-huh? [Continues] Not an accident? [Continues] Thank you. [Hangs up] The gun dealer was in the yard at Rikers; had his throat cut. The victim's mother was thrown out a third-storey window.
- Robinette: What about the little girl?
- Schiff: She was picked up after school by her uncle.
- Stone: She doesn't have an uncle.
Point of View [3.9]
- [Logan, frustrated with Briscoe, asks Cragen when Cerreta will be back]
- Cragen: I mean, I'm thinking back to when Phil came on. It’s not always love at first sight with you.
- Logan: Look, I can handle it. I just wanna know how long?
- Cragen: I wanna know how long is my mother-in-law gonna live with us. I don't know, but I'm learning to enjoy her pot roast.
- [Briscoe and Logan enter Scanlon's office; Scanlon is on the phone]
- Scanlon: I just haven't seen any real money yet. [to the detectives] Hey, hey, guys, come on, now. I'm busy here!
- Briscoe: [takes the phone] He'll call you back in 25 years. [hangs up]
- Scanlon: What is this?!
- Logan: You wanna put your hands behind you, sir?
- Scanlon: What are you doin'?!
- [Logan slaps the cuffs on him]
- Briscoe: James Scanlon, you're under arrest for the murder of Thomas Duff.
- Scanlon: Call the lawyers!
- Logan: Good move. You're gonna need one.
- Briscoe: Yeah, and don't tell his wife to keep dinner warm for him. All right?
- Logan: And she shouldn't wait up to tuck him in, either.
- [Briscoe has just accepted a free meal from a snitch]
- Briscoe: Look, he thinks I'm corrupt, so he trusts me, all right?
- Briscoe: Right around the corner from here is the first place I ever saw Mose Allison.
- Logan: Who?
- Briscoe: I keep forgetting when you were born.
- [Stone's Nigerian suspect has left the US before sentencing, and he confronts the Nigerian Consul to which the consul retorts.]
- Sir Balewa: Our culture is not as "enlightened" as yours. Nwaka thought nothing about purchasing people's lives. He should be made to pay for his own.
Conduct Unbecoming [3.17]
- Stone is cross examining a Navy Captain accused of murdering a female Lieutenant.
- Stone: What about the prostitute eyewitnesses saw you with, Miss Tammy White? They reported that you got very angry towards her-
- Captain: That bitch deserved it!
- [A brief silence]
- Stone: Which bitch is it, Sir? Lieutenant Hagen or Tammy White?
- Stone is delivering his closing statement in the trial of cops who were accused of allowing a gay cop die instead of helping him because they hated gay people.:
- Stone: So, let's suppose that it's true what Defense Attorney Schell implies that each of you, all of you, sympathize with the defendants, trapped as they are in their fears; that, in fact, more people hate homosexuals than are willing to admit, then I venture to say that somewhere in your family history, someone somewhere hates you or your relatives for no other reason than that they are black or white, Slovak instead of Czech, Protestant instead of Catholic, left-wing not right. And are you going to let officers of the law determine which of you they will help based on who and what you are? If so, then don't dial 9-1-1, even if you think you're one of them because you may end up being Officer Newhouse. These defendants let a man die and, for all of us, you must hold them responsible.
- [after he kills the man who molested his son]
- Sid Fisher: Somebody shot an animal. Call a vet.
- Logan: I've been eager myself. It's not a crime.
- [Briscoe and Logan catch Clarence Carmichael]
- Briscoe: Clarence Carmichael?
- Clarence: Okay, you got me. I shot the sheriff. But the deputy, I swear, that was some other dude.
- Logan: [slaps the cuffs on Clarence] I just love rock and roll.
- Briscoe: Clarence Carmichael, you're under arrest for the rape of Julia Wood. You have the right to remain silent.
- Clarence: Yeah, you have the right to kiss my ass.
- Manager: Just keep quiet, Clarence. This is harassment. False arrest. You'll hear from our lawyers.
- Briscoe: Oh, no. Not the lawyers. I'm scared. You scared, Mike?
- Logan: I'm shakin' in my blue suede shoes.
- Lionel Jackson: [testifying against a racist killer] I remember the voice of the first white man who told me not to come in his store. I remember the voice of the doctor who told me I had a healthy son. And I remember the voice of the man who took out a gun and shot me.
Black Tie [4.5]
- Stone: I don't mind when you want to make new law, Norman, but next time I wish you'd choose a more deserving client.
- Prof. Norman Rothenberg: We can't always choose them, Ben.
- Stone: So it doesn't concern you that justice won't be done?
- Prof. Norman Rothenberg: My only concern is the law. I'll leave justice to a more majestic authority.
- [an elderly witness has called the police department]
- Van Buren: Any one of you have a girlfriend in a nursing home?
- Logan: That would be Lennie.
- Logan: My mother used to beat me with one hand and hold a rosary with the other. The next time I enter a church, it'll be in a pine box carried by six of my friends.
The Pursuit of Happiness [4.10]
- A defence lawyer is attempting to discredit the Prosecution's Korean-American eyewitness with expert testimony that Cross-Racial Identification is unreliable.
- Judge: You have an expert witness?
- Lawyer: I do, judge: a psychologist.
- Stone: Why didn't we hear about this in pre-trial motions?
- Lawyer: Gee, Ben, I'm sorry. I was a little late with my legal research.
- Stone: You knew about this weeks ago; you warned me that this witness would be a problem.
- Lawyer: [Hurried] I don't recall that.
- Judge: Off the record, please. [His scribe stops typing] I can't prove this, Tom, but I think you're lying.
- Lawyer: Your honor, I don't think —
- Judge: Don't play dumb with me. You didn't want Ben to know where you were going. I'll let you have your witness, but one of these days, you're gonna get caught, you'll get disbarred, and I'll be there to applaud.
- Schiff: Quick, lock the door; someone might walk in with a case we could win.
- Stone: Come on, Adam, the jury didn't buy it. Cross-racial identification, it's bogus.
- Schiff: I wouldn't count your chickens; your omelette just hit the fan.
[Logan and Briscoe are reading a young kidnapping victim's notebook of poetry for clues about who may have taken her]
- Briscoe: [reading from notebook] "Flying away on a giant beast with my suitcase in its teeth."
- Logan: That doesn't sound like Fenady to me.
- Briscoe: Wait a minute. "On leather wings, I fly beyond, on top my friend the pteradon." The flying beast is a dinosaur.
- Logan: So a brontosaurus did it.
Old Friends [4.22]
- [Stone is leaving the DA's office]
- Schiff: I never thought I'd get a letter of resignation from you. Thought you'd be here long after I was gone.
- Stone: It's not entirely about you.
- Schiff: That's kind of you, thank you. Steven Green is filing an appeal.
- Stone: Based on what?
- Schiff: Coercion of a witness. Anne Madsen.
- Stone: Considering the witness is dead, the appeals court should be amused. I brought Claire up to speed on my open cases.
- Schiff: She'll be fine. And you?
- Stone: I'm clear as a bell.
Second Opinion [5.1]
- Briscoe and Logan are arresting a suspect.
- Secretary: Excuse me?
- Briscoe: [Continuing past her] Don't mention it.
- McCoy: She tells one patient she has a cure, it's a little white lie. Two patients, it's unforgivable. Three patients, she's a murderer. Four patients, she's a damn murderer and it's all admissible!
Blue Bamboo [5.3]
- McCoy: If you're gonna play stickball in Canarsie, learn Brooklyn rules!
- Art Samuels: [speaking of the deceased] He had a lot of energy. I, on the other hand, have a wife.
- Briscoe: My condolences.
- Van Buren: I heard Zach Roland cut a deal.
- McCoy: Lieutenant, it's nine o'clock, I'm in a bar, I've got a glass of eight year old Scotch in front of me, I don't want to talk business.
- Van Buren: Tell me something counselor, were you born a wise-ass or did it just come with the job?
- McCoy: I'm a pussycat. You should've seen my old man.
- Van Buren: Your old man?
- McCoy: He was a cop. You knew that. If it had been him who was unlucky enough to be in front of that ATM instead of you there probably would have been two dead kids lying on the sidewalk.
- Van Buren: And you would have dragged him in front of the grand jury.
- McCoy: Damn right. I would have gotten an indictment, too. [looks at Van Buren and they laugh]
- Lawyer: Well, I trust you're here to apologize, Lieutenant.
- Van Buren: I do my repenting on Sunday.
- McCoy: Well-meaning people can disagree, especially about the most socially devisive issue to face our country this century. Drew Seeley has an opinion about abortion. He thinks that his opinion entitles him to kill people. Here's what he did. He hunted down a woman named Eileen Reid, he gave Randall Jenkins a gun and told him to shoot Eileen Reid. And he did. Drew Seeley is a self-appointed executioner. If you let him go, you better just pray that one day, someone like him doesn't find some fault with you.
- [Drew Seeley approaches the jury and speaks to an African-American juror]
- Drew Seeley: A hundred and fifty years ago, you weren't considered a person. Or you. Or you. A man named John Brown thought that was wrong so he took violent action to liberate black American slaves. Well, he was caught and brought to trial and hanged because slavery was legal and the law said that slaves were not people deserving of protection. But you know what? John Brown was right. And the law was wrong. Now John Brown is considered a hero. Today, abortion is legal but I tell you, that law is wrong. Like John Brown, I follow a higher law. I ask you to do the same.
- McCoy:[To Seeley] You can't point a gun at another human being, even an abortionist, and pull the trigger because, in your soul, you know it's wrong.
- McCoy:You don't protect the weak, you manipulate the weak and get them to kill people for you.
- Logan: Any chance you like any of the men you work with?
- Female stockbroker: Give me a break, Detective. There's only two kinds of men that work on Wall Street. Standard and poor. [She gives Logan a speculative look.] But I hear that peace officers are a whole different story.
- [Stockbroker enters limo. Briscoe and Logan look at each other.]
- Briscoe: [grinning] You got your yardstick handy?
- Logan: Oh, I got my tape measure.
- [Talking about the suspect]
- Logan: It's weird. The guy's got more money than God, but he lives worse than I do.
- Van Buren: Howard Hughes never clipped his toenails. Got any homicides we can pin on him?
- [After finding a ticket on their car]
- Logan: [snatches ticket from the windshield] Aww, what is this? They got no respect anymore, these meter maids.
- Logan: [to a Wall Street trader accused of murder] Well, you got your $2,000 suits and you got your hotshot degrees but, from where I'm standing, you're no better than some punk who robs a 7-11 store and blows away the cashier to cover his tracks.
- Greer: I graduated summa cum laude from Harvard, magna from Stanford Business. I have 17 traders working for me, and I booked almost a billion dollars in trades over the last two years. Not only am I better than your punk at the 7-11, I'm a hell of a lot better than you, Detective Logan.
- [Talking about amateur porn movies]
- Logan: Hey. How'd you like to be in one of these movies?
- Briscoe: You kidding me? I don't even like to look at my own X-Rays.
- [Speaking to an editor at The Swinger's Guide]
- Editor: Rape isn't part of the swinging lifestyle. The pleasure comes from an open and willing sharing.
- Briscoe: Ah, but whatever happened to romance?
- Editor: Our readers are interested in exploring another side of their sexual selves.
- Logan: Yeah. The side marked "this end up."
- [Briscoe is reading a copy of The Swinger's Guide]
- Logan: What're you looking for, a date?
- Briscoe: [reading] "Open-minded MBBF seeks mature man."
- Logan: [looking puzzled] What's that? Male bisexual bondage freak?
- Briscoe: I'm more in the mood for a BLT.
- Briscoe: Hey. Are you the famous Seeing-Eye Dogs?
- Band member: Yeah, we used to be. Now we're Protazoa. Who're you?
- Briscoe: [flashing badge] We're the Police.
- Band member: Too late, guys. Sting already used that one.
- [After arresting a group of teenager for Conspiracy to Commit Rape, one of them is making a deal.]
- Quinn's Attorney: You understand, Mr McCoy, we're only interested in full immunity. No jail, no probation, no charges; preferably the arrest is expunged.
- McCoy: And what do we get from Mr Quinn here?
- Attorney: Anything you need to know about the Mac Rangers. Anything to make your case.
- Ethan Quinn: This is wrong. I-
- Mr Quinn: Shut up!
- McCoy: No thanks. I can make the conspiracy charge without him.
- Attorney: Then why are we here?
- McCoy: I want Shane Sutter for rape.
- Ethan: I told you, we never-
- Mr. Quinn: If I have to tell you to shut up again, you're gonna remember it!
- Logan: The nuns at my school were less sanctimonious than that guy.
- Briscoe: The nuns at your school never went to medical school. You know those MD plates gets you a better parking spot in heaven.
- Briscoe: [to Logan] You know, if I didn't already know you didn't have kids, I'd know you don't have kids.
- [Speaking of artificial insemination]
- Beth: It's the best relationship I ever had with a man.
- Briscoe: I thought it was supposed to be anonymous.
- Beth: That's exactly my point.
- [Leaving the home of a pregnant lesbian couple]
- Logan: Brother. And I thought I had it bad being brought up by two alcoholics.
- Briscoe: I wonder which mommy's gonna teach him how to smoke and drink.
- Logan: And shave.
- Briscoe: Well, it's the '90s. Everybody's allowed to be gross and disgusting, not just you.
- Logan: Well, all I know is I had one mommy, and she did enough ball-breaking for one lifetime.
- [Discussing the chairman of the board of a prestigious private school]
- McCoy: Not coincidentally, he's the one who assured us of the school's full cooperation.
- Clare: Instead, the school circled the limos to keep the Barclay name out of it.
- Schiff: I'm shocked.
- McCoy: This isn't stink bombs in the boy's room, Adam. They hindered prosecution of an A felony.
- Schiff: Now I'm very shocked.
- [In interrogation with Mr. Barclay and his son.]
- Mr. Barclay: I guarantee you, it was Harrigan that put him up to it. He and his father, they're all alike, with their Irish temper, they lose control, and the next thing you know, you have a murder--
- McCoy: Oh, so Harrigan did it because he's a Mick? Detective Logan is a Mick. I'm a Mick, sir. And if you don't shut up, I'll lose control and throw you out of the room!
- [McCoy has gathered the suspect's friends at the police station]
- McCoy: I'm Jack McCoy. I'm the Assistant District Attorney for New York County. You are invited here to talk to me about the murder of William Harrigan. And make no mistake: you will talk to me. You're going to tell me every thing you know about Stuart Barclay and Colin Harrigan's roles in that killing. If you don't, if you lie, I'll add a new word to your vocabulary: conspiracy, to commit murder. You could serve as many years as you have candles on your birthday cake. Who wants to start first?
- Boy: You don't scare me. You can't lay a hand on us.
- McCoy: I don't see anyone here to stop them. [Police Officers] This isn't a music video, son, this is reality. A man is dead, and our patience is wearing thin.
- McCoy: It's over, Scott. Even your father realizes it. I've got you for conspiracy, and if I eat my Wheaties I can get you for second degree murder, and I won't care that you didn't actually pull the trigger.
Act of God [5.17]
- McCoy: I'm sorry about the cross-examination detective, I just had to rule Palley out as a suspect.
- Briscoe: Hey, no problem. They pay me plenty to look like an idiot.
- [After visiting a series of disgruntled exes who've had dealings with a high-powered divorce lawyer]
- Logan: You know, the more I talk to these guys, it reminds me why I stay single.
- Briscoe: You mean it's not just the quality time you get to spend with yourself?
- [After Logan has complained to Van Buren about the number of suspects, and Briscoe comes in with a lead on a suspect.]
- Logan: Wow. That's almost a clue.
- Van Buren: And it beats heavy lifting.
- Briscoe: What?
- Logan: It's Anita's sense of humor.
- Van Buren: Lieutenant Anita to you.
Bad Faith [5.20]
- Van Buren: [about child molesters] There's people like him in every neighborhood. It could be the Little League coach, your kid's favorite teacher... It's too bad they don't glow in the dark.
- [McCoy has found the evidence he needs to convict a child molester for 30 years of sexual abuse, and is offering him a harsh plea]
- Krolinsky: For God's sake, Mr. McCoy, I have a family.
- McCoy: I feel sorry for them.
- Krolinsky: Look, I wanna get help. I'm a sick man, I-
- McCoy: You're an adult! Your victims were children. There isn't anything you could say that would make me feel sorry for you.
- [Logan confronts Krolinsky]
- Logan: We called you Father! How could you do those things to us? You even did it to your own kid. How could you do that?
- Briscoe: My respect for Durban is growing by the hour.
- Logan: Yeah, he's so smart he's dead.
- [Powell cross-examines Logan]
- Charles Powell: Detective, are you familiar with a term police use to describe a murder in the gay community even before they know all the facts of the case?
- [Logan says nothing]
- Charles Powell: Come now, don't cause me the embarrassment of having to call up witnesses who've heard you say it.
- Logan: [reluctantly] It's called 'homo-cide'.
- McCoy: Two in five Americans think homosexuality is a sin.
- Schiff: Don't worry about two in five, worry about one in twelve.
Bitter Fruit [6.1]
- Briscoe: [on his new partner, Rey Curtis] I got ties older than him. Few pairs of shoes, too.
- Mrs. Gaines: I loved my daughter!
- McCoy: But you hated your husband more.
- Schiff: You got past double jeopardy. You climbed Everest in your shorts on a very cold day.
- Hooker: Are we talking afternoon delight?
- Curtis: [pulls out his badge] I'd be delighted to throw you in jail.
- Hooker: Can't arrest a girl for asking.
- Sam: She wants you, Lennie.
- Briscoe: She's my kid, dipstick.
- McCoy: Sometimes my mother had to lock herself in the basement.
- Bar Guy: Son of a bitch hit her?
- McCoy: Ten years. I'm still scared of those hands. He smoked like a chimney. Cancer. He'd lay there in that hospital room, with tubes coming out of his arms. They pumped him full of morphine, so he wouldn't know how much he hurt. He didn't know where he was. This tough... He just lay there. He was breathing, and then he was gone. [pause] I don't know why I'm talking about this. I never talk about this. Let's play darts.
- [Kincaid is driving an inebriated Briscoe home]
- Briscoe: You know, it wouldn't be so terrible.
- Kincaid: What's that?
- Briscoe: If you were my kid.
- Kincaid: I guess I should take that as a compliment.
- Briscoe: Hey, you're smart, you're pretty, you got a good job, and you don't hate my guts.
- Kincaid: Lennie, I doubt your daughter hates you.
- Briscoe: [laughs ruefully] You don't know her. I don't know her. I never will.
- Anita Van Buren: [voiceover narration over Claire Kincaid's death scene] A crowd of people stood and cheered when he raped her. They were supposedly good people, and they did nothing. Then he beat her to death with a tire iron. And today, the state of New York got its revenge. It's too much, and it's not enough.
Causa Mortis [7.1]
- Ross: I believe in monsters and things that go bump in the night, Jack; may they rot in hell, along with their attorneys.
- McCoy: [to Briscoe, about Kincaid's death] You know, a few weeks before it happened, she told me she wanted to quit. I persuaded her to stay.
- Briscoe: Yeah, well... I could have walked past that bar.
Working Mom [7.14]
- Ross: Laney Stevens filed her appeal.
- Schiff: She's hoping they'll erect a statue for her on 12th Avenue.
- McCoy: Even prostitutes deserve a patron saint.
- Ross: It makes me wonder if they convicted her because we made our case or because she's a prostitute.
- McCoy: They convicted her. I don't care why.
- Greta Heiss: Who told you she had breast implants?
- Briscoe: We're the police. We know everything.
- McCoy: Your grief might be a little more convincing, sir, if you hadn't just admitted you cut off your wife's head.
- Schiff: You got what you wanted. Take the rest of the week off.
- McCoy: It's Friday, Adam.
- Schiff: So it is. See you on Monday.
Double Down [7.19]
- Curtis: So he walks for killing a cop but does hard time for killing a cop killer?
- McCoy: An irony he can savor for the next 25 years in Attica.
- Curtis: What if I had tesitified that you told us to shut up?
- McCoy: It would have hurt. At least you got to dodge the question by calling me an idiot.
- Curtis: Yeah, that helped.
- [McCoy is trying to prosecute a pair of thrill killers]
- McCoy: I'm playing legal tiddlywinks with these punks. What I'd really like to do is take them out to Battery Park and hang them by the scrotum.
- Schiff: An understandable sentiment -- but stick with the tiddlywinks.
- Ross: The Church protects murderers, the law says two people can fire the same bullet, and the victim's mother forgives her son's killers. You figure it out.
- McCoy: You don't think you could? Forgive them, I mean?
- Ross: No.
- McCoy: Neither could I. What does that say about us?
- Defense Attorney: I got bent over a chair by Miss Ross before. Now I'm getting another tingling sensation in my butt. Why is that?
- Ross: ...wishful thinking?
Under the Influence [8.11]
- McCoy: He kills three people and hides behind the bottle.
- Ross: The law says he can.
- McCoy: The law. [scoffs] Probably written on a cocktail napkin. Intent follows the bullet! It shouldn't matter if it was fired by a drunk or Carrie Nation.
- Dr. Burke's Husband: You killed my wife to win a divorce case -- and you're sorry?!
- [New ADA Abbie Carmichael has just had a seven year old boy with Attachment Disorder arrested for murdering his adopted baby sister, without consulting McCoy.]
- McCoy: I hear you're adding a children's wing to Death Row.
- McCoy: I could probably get an indictment for manslaughter.
- Carmichael: Manslaughter?! They never gave that baby a chance. They faked an identity for her. They never told anyone she needed medical attention.
- Schiff: I don't see any intent here to kill this baby.
- Carmichael: It's depraved indifference. Murder two. They knew the baby was going to die. They didn't care one way or the other.
- Schiff: Assumption. Charge them with Man-one.
- Carmichael: We send a message that it's sort of okay to kill a baby? This isn't a couple of teenagers who killed their newborn because they were scared. These are two adults who went to a lot of trouble to dump a dying child and to cover their tracks. I may be the new kid here, but to me this sounds like murder.
- [McCoy and Carmichael are disagreeing on whether or not to accept a plea bargain]
- McCoy: Three to six years in a state prison is not a cake walk. How many drug dealers got a free pass from you?
- Carmichael: The ones who could give me someone bigger in return. All the Connerys have to offer is their plea bargain remorse. She's still trying to blame it on Kostov. Did you see her husband cut her off?
- McCoy: She is the least culpable of the three.
- Carmichael: [exasperated] Oh gentlemen, please. That sorry excuse for a woman has a hole in her soul.
- Schiff: That's enough.
- McCoy: I can take care of myself Adam.
- Schiff: Then remain objective. It was Edward Connerys actions that directly caused the little girl's death; and he's an attorney. He knew what he was doing.
- McCoy: The Connerys' will never do this again. Kostov has and will, over and over again.
- Schiff: Are Kostov's children better off in the new homes?
- Carmichael: All but Marianna. [beat] I have a solution that will make us all happy.
- McCoy: What's that?
- Carmichael: No deals for anybody. Let's hang 'em all.
- Schiff: [starts laughing]
- Carmichael: Man-1 all around. I'll start working on the pre-sentencing reports. Any suggestions?
- McCoy: You mean you should spend more time in prison, Kostov or the Connerys? Don't get me started.
- Carmichael: We can always skip the report. Take no position and leave it to the judge.
- McCoy: [wearily] Let's do that. For the sake of world peace.
- Carmichael: The Waring's filed a petition to get their son back. We have until the end of the week to file our objections.
- McCoy: [Holds his hand out] Can you and I agree that we're too busy?
- Carmichael: [Turns his hand up and slaps it] Deal. [walks off]
- Briscoe: Good old Ray-Ray. The trick was giving him a number he couldn't forget. Three: rhymes with "squeegee".
- Carmichael: [looks stunned/horrified]
- McCoy: Your first death sentence! You OK with it?
- Carmichael: I only have one thing bothering me. Ray-Ray, the squeegee man? The cops told him which one was Fortelli.
- McCoy: I know, I told them to. Perfectly legal. We were never going to use the identification at trial anyway.
- Carmichael: Legal or not --
- McCoy: Major felonies, Abbie. Welcome to the bigs.
True North [9.9]
- Bank Manager: I believe you're aware the Canadian government has instructed me not to comply with this subpoena.
- Abbie Carmichael: That's nice. Are they going to send the Canadian army down here to help you carry your money and computers home?
- Bank Manager: I beg your pardon?
- Abbie Carmichael: This bank is in New York county. [points] Those detectives are going to take it apart brick by brick to look for the documentation we've subpoenaed.
- Bank Manager: That doesn't make sense. The transfer you're interested in originated in Ontario.
- Abbie Carmichael: These detectives are about to search every account file, every computer disk. It'll take a couple of weeks. You can close the bank down now.
- Abbie Carmichael: We got Stephanie Harker's letter request to transfer fifty thousand dollars to Doris Nichols. It came by courier from Muskoka.
- Jack McCoy: [surprised] They caved.
- Abbie Carmichael: Morals are morals. Money is money.
- Jack McCoy: Who are you going to shake down to get her car, the Royal Autoclub?
- Abbie Carmichael: "Nice" for Stephanie seems to mean she hasn't killed you yet.
- Abbie Carmichael: [Annoyed that McCoy is willing to plea out a murder suspect in return for secret police files] For God's sake, Jack, why don't you just start your own country? No cops, no bad guys, just sweetness and light as far as the eye can see!
- Jack McCoy: If the police department doesn't want to be embarrassed by its behavior, perhaps it shouldn't behave that way!
- McCoy: No crime, no cover up. Three people dead and no one's accountable.
- Schiff: Justice on a budget. What'd you end up charging them with?
- Carmichael: Tampering with evidence. An E felony.
- Schiff: Oh.
- Carmichael: We arraigned them, they posted bail. Two thousand dollars. Then they walk away from three murders.
- McCoy: We can always hope they jump bail.
- Schiff: Whatever happened to sending the kid to her room?
- Carmichael: They tried that. The mother kept her chained to a radiator.
- Carmichael: There's no church here! Rose Hallacy was a loose cannon!
- McCoy: Who didn't take a dime from Margot Gracen or anybody else, ministered to these people out of the goodness of her heart, gave up worldly things to do the work of God.
- Carmichael: Spoken like a parochial schoolboy.
- McCoy: Six years at St. Ignatius.
- Carmichael: Did they teach you how to do exorcisms, Jack?
- McCoy: They taught us to have a healthy respect for the devil.
- Carmichael: The only devil in this case is the woman we're trying for murder.
- Carmichael: Doctors. I can't believe my mother wanted me to marry one.
- McCoy: It may be time to make the best deal we can with all of them. Two years probation, a fine.
- Carmichael: Oh, a fine! Ouch! Those poor doctors might have to hock one of their Porsche's.
- McCoy: Abby, there isn't much of a case left.
- Carmichael: But there's still a victim! Jack, she went in a healthy woman, she came out a corpse!
- McCoy: Between the two of us, depraved indifference is a reach. Criminally negligent homicide is a gift! I wouldn't squander it.
- Carmichael: You make excuses, I'll make the case.
- Defense Attorney: Ms. Carmichael, we'd like to discuss a deal.
- Carmichael: Why should I cut your client a break?
- Defense Attorney: Well, you haven't proven negligence yet.
- Carmichael: But here you are.
- Carmichael: Did Pelham ever complain to internal affairs about her? That she assaulted him or was stalking him?
- IA Lieutenant: We don't have anything on file like that. We got reports she spends a lot of time in the gym with her fellow female officers.
- McCoy: Your point?
- IA Lieutenant: Maybe she's got a problem with men.
- Carmichael: Thank you for dropping by, lieutenant. Careful you don't get carpet burns on your knuckles.
- Carmichael: After six years, I still don't know what cops are about.
- McCoy: I grew up with one. I don't know, either.
- Carmichael: Well, they're real good at circling the wagons to protect themselves from the likes of us.
- McCoy: And who protects them from each other?
- McCoy: Andrew Hampton accepted our offer. Attempted Man 1, six to twelve years in jail.
- Carmichael: Well hopefully his sister will be joining him.
- McCoy: You don't think he can convince a jury Nicole put him up to it?
- Carmichael: I think she'll toss her hair back a few times and convince them she didn't.
- McCoy: Really cynical, Abby.
- McCoy: Any indication it's Clemente?
- Carmichael: The cops asked him for a DNA sample, he refused.
- McCoy: Did he have a reason?
- Carmichael: Outrage. He says the suspicion of him is racist.
- Schiff: Only Hispanic professor on a white campus. Could be he's right.
- Carmichael: Could be he did it.
- McCoy: Let's make sure we're not trashing this man's reputation just because he's uncooperative.
- Carmichael: But let's not let it go just because he's screaming racism!
Refuge: Part 1 [9.23]
- McCoy: Tell Mr. Margolis he can stuff his motion to dismiss.
- Carmichael: Malenkov's gotta be making a quarter of a million a month by massaging sore muscles.
- McCoy: Ain't America grand?
- Carmichael: You've gotta hand it to him, though. He's been here six years, he's working the system like a slot machine. I'm still trying to figure out alternate side of the street parking.
Refuge: Part 2 [9.24]
- Van Buren: Latent got a pop on their fingerprints from a murder in Dade County six months ago.
- Carmichael: Oh, the Sunshine State. Have knives, will travel.
- McCoy: This case started with a single murder committed to gain control of a Russian bank to launder dirty money. It's all about the money. We connect Volsky, Malenkov, Pinella to those bags at J.F.K., we can get them for everything.
- Carmichael: A RICO case.
- McCoy: Let's get started.
- Schiff: I'm ordering police protection for both of you. I don't want martyrs, I want convictions. How's that coming along?
- Carmichael: Slower than molasses.
- Schiff: Yep.
- Carmichael: But we found a new player. One of the overseas accounts running currency from the Russians is controlled by the Matterra family.
- Van Buren: The Sicilian mob.
- Carmichael: The Russians are positioning themselves to be money launderers for the world.
- Schiff: Lenin must be spinning in his mausoleum.
- Carmichael: Girlfriend went wheels up two days ago. One step ahead of our subpoena. She took a flight out of Montreal, emptied her London account.
- McCoy: I guess she wanted to save Volsky the bother of having to kill her.
- McCoy: (his closing argument) This country has always been a beacon to the world for liberty and justice. That's why we keep our borders open. But we're also a beacon for another kind of people, for criminals and con men; we rely on the law to protect us from them. Sometimes, that's not enough. Do we need more law, less freedom? Do we cross out parts of the Constitution? I've learned that's not the answer. The answer is that each one of us is responsible to everyone else. Not one of us can afford to turn a blind eye. By respecting the laws we do have, by living up to the true meaning of the word "citizen," we preserve our common good. Through his deliberate ignorance, Mr. Radford allowed a criminal enterprise to flourish, innocent people to be killed. He allowed a cancer to grow. This is where it has to stop. Here in this court room, with you. (The scene closes with a close up of Carmichael, as a single tear runs down her face.)
- Webber: We weren't ignoring your requests. As a matter of fact, we had a meeting with our lawyers about it.
- Carmichael: What did ya'll decide?
- Webber: Much as we'd like to cooperate, it would force us to reveal trade secrets which would damage our ability to remain competitive.
- Carmichael: Trade secrets? Mr. Webber, you make guns, not soda pop.
- Defense Lawyer: You're taking the death penalty off the table with the city screaming for blood?
- McCoy: The victims families need closure, not blood.
- Defense Lawyer: My client's a healthy young man. Life without parole, that could be fifty or sixty years.
- Carmichael: He could always take up smoking.
- McCoy: Rolff makes a product that any clever twelve-year-old can turn into a weapon of mass destruction.
- Schiff: I'm appalled. Write them a letter.
- Carmichael: Jack wants the jury to make a finding of emotion, not of fact. This isn't a trial. It's gun control by other means.
- McCoy: They can sell guns on the internet. Talking about control is a joke.
- Carmichael: So this is your answer? Putting gun makers in jail?
- McCoy: I'd like to start by putting Rolff Firearms out of business!
- Carmichael: Responsible adults can own firearms without the entire country sinking into criminal anarchy.
- McCoy: What's the point? Maybe when the redcoats were coming over Bunker Hill.
- Carmichael: How about somebody six foot five coming through my door? The people have a right to defend themselves!
- Judge Wright: Mr. McCoy, I'm not going to sanction a verdict that cannot possibly be sustained on appeal. This conviction isn't based on any proven facts. It's based on the jury's outrage at Mr. Webber's irresponsible and inexcusable conduct. You want to end the violence, the bloodletting. So do I, Mr. McCoy. In my thirty years on the bench I've seen every permutation of it and it sickens me when somebody profits from it! But tempted, though I may be, putting Mr. Webber in a jail won't end the carnage. Until we cure what ails the human heart it won't make a dent in the body count. In the meantime, no matter how profound our grief, our indignation, I can't let you use this court to raise a lynch mob. I won't allow you to exploit the same base actions that Mr. Webber counts on to beef up his bottom line. It's not about being right, Mr. McCoy. It's about doing right.
- Skoda: Jenny's been emotionally abused, maybe physically. She lashes out when her anger reaches the boiling point.
- Carmichael: So we lock this girl up?
- Skoda: Get used to it. There are more and more girls committing violent crimes. I don't see anything from Jenny except a future of escalating antisocial behavior.
- McCoy: What makes you say that?
- Skoda: Emotional abuse. The snuffed cat. Blacked out photographs. Her lack of response when I went after her.
- McCoy: Fantasies about hurting little boys.
- Skoda: Previews of coming attractions. She's graduated to murder, she's not going to stop.
- Carmichael: You sound pretty sure.
- Skoda: The kid's a done deal. She's a textbook serial killer. You just got her early.
Crazy for Love [10.15]
Trade This [10.16]
- Joseph Dantoni, Sr.: I appreciate you seeing me, Mr. McCoy.
- McCoy: This isn't a courtesy. You have information regarding this homicide?
- Joseph Dantoni, Sr.: I have. We do.
- Jack McCoy: You understand there's no offer of immunity, for either you or your son?
- Mr. Dantoni's Attorney: Mr. Dantoni merely seeks the same offer your office provides any other crime victim.
- Jack McCoy: Crime victim?
- Joseph Dantoni, Sr.: This is a strange situation for all of us. I'm used to handling my own problems my own way, but this is different. My son did not commit any murder.
- Jack McCoy: That's the extent of your information?
- Joseph Dantoni, Sr.: My son's a moron, but he's not a murderer.
- Carmichael: So he's only half a chip off the old block.
- Carmichael: What do you call this?
- Green: Besides a bunch of crazy, rich white people with too much time on their hands?
- Carmichael: [dealing with a defendant who makes wild changes to his story] It's a suicide, it's an accident, it's a breath mint! This guy gives me a headache!
- Carmichael: She denied knowing her mom had Parkinson's, she lied about the money, she's 0 for 2 and counting.
- McCoy: Getting her paws on that money is a pretty good motive for a murder.
- Carmichael: Except it's her step-dad who pulled the trigger. Wow, what a cozy little family this is turning out to be.
- McCoy: Once you turn to necrophilia, incest doesn't seem so bad.
- Carmichael: Moore must be feeling pretty stupid sitting in Riker's while Debbie is out spending up a storm. He might be in the mood to deal.
- McCoy: I'm not. Get a search warrant for her office and home. We find evidence they had an affair, they can both rot.
- McCoy: Your Honor, this is nothing more than Mr. Peck's conceit that he can pull a rabbit out of a hat, and his never ending love for an opportunity just to hear himself talk.
- McCoy: It's possible she suppressed her memory of that night. It's possible she felt too guilty to fully participate in her own defense.
- Carmichael: It's also possible that her lawyer isn't the idiot that we take him for. He held on to this until he thought it would do the most good.
- McCoy: No, he's an idiot.
Turnstile Justice [11.2]
- Lewin: You have a defendent responsible for sending a dangerous psychotic out among the citizens of New York. Whatever excuses he has, whatever excuses the two of you have, now that you've gone after him I want you to run him to ground.
- Lewin: How much time will Andrews serve with good behavior?
- Carmichael: Under a year.
- Lewin: Good, that means jail not state prison. He'll serve it at Rikers. Let's hope he has a good immune system.
- McCoy: No one should be heard to say that providing medical care at Rikers Island is easy. Nor is it the position of this District Attorney's office that there aren't legitimate financial constraints on the provider. We've heard that the defendant operating under those constraints is just a simple man doing the best he could. Let's look at that a little bit: Brian Gallant was at Rikers for a year; he was medicated on a daily basis by the defendant's company, with the defendant's knowledge. On the day he was released, he was hallucinating and disoriented. Nonetheless, he was handed over to the Department of Corrections, who dropped him off at a subway station in the middle of the night. He was given no medication, no referral for ongoing care. Not an address to go to; not a phone number to call. This was not done by accident or oversight. This was the express instruction of the defendant. Was not the violent behavior of Brian Gallant a foreseeable event? Was not the defendant well aware, not only of Mr. Gallant's propensities, but of the risk he constituted for every person he came in contact with? The answer is: Of course, he was aware of it; of course, he chose to ignore it; of course, it was his recklessness that brought about this woman's death. Find him guilty, Ladies and Gentlemen. He deserves it.
- Judge Wright: You need to understand that when it comes to trying someone for murder, particularly someone like Carl Reger, who's given so much of himself to the city, that Jack McCoy doesn't get a free one.
- Lewin: And you need to understand that veiled threats disguised as friendly advice sound an awful lot to me like judicial bias. Especially when delivered ex parte.
- Judge Wright: First off, I don't have to justify my decisions to you. Second, that sound you hear is the ice cracking underneath your feet.
- Lewin: With all due respect, your honor, you weigh more than I do. I request that you recuse yourself from the case of the people versus Reger.
- Judge Wright: Request denied.
- Lewin: Then you can explain yourself to the grievance board.
- Judge Wright: You file a complaint against me then your ADAs will never get to first base inside my courtroom. Based strictly on the merits of their cases.
- Lewin: If you threaten me again I'll report this conversation and our last conversation to the presiding judge of the appellate division. And if you step over the line in court just once, I'll take you down and you won't get up again.
Burn Baby Burn [11.6]
- Lewin: Don't beat yourself up too badly over this one, Jack.
- McCoy: A guy shoots a New York City police officer in the line of duty and I can't convict him.
- Lewin: Enough of the jury identified with his fear of cops.
- McCoy: Used to be a fear of cops didn't justify shooting them.
- Lewin: Used to be a lot of things.
Brother's Keeper [11.21]
- Dr. Rodgers: Margaret Sikorsky, 24, ODed. Death resulted from a lethal combination of high potency cocaine and several prescription drugs. I can give you a copy of this.
- Briscoe: How did she get here?
- Dr. Rodgers: Same as everybody else: she died.
Judge Dread [11.23]
- Lewin: I'd like to think I can do this job without becoming a cynic.
- McCoy: I'm not a cynic. I get up every morning hoping to find an honest man.
Who Let The Dogs Out [12.1]
- Sherri Quinn: He was scared for our sake. King was a good dog
- (King is brought in on a leash with a metal muzzle over his mouth, snarling, barking and lunging)
- Mccoy: You just described your dog as friendly, Miss Quinn. Would you like to pat him now?
Formerly Famous [12.6]
- Briscoe: Vega hasn't had a gig in ten years and he socked away millions of dollars. Maybe I should get a manager.
- Green: Singing in a Karaoke Bar doesn't count.
Open Season [13.7]
- Danielle Melnick: Hello Jack. Okay, let's talk turkey. What are you up to? And don't give me that party line about Preuss being a threat to society.
- McCoy: When you argue, I have this compulsive need to argue back.
- [the detectives want Southerlyn to deal with a gang of white supremacists]
- Southerlyn: What, you think they'll talk to me?
- Green: Blonde hair, blue eyes...Hell, if you're lucky, they'll put you in a poster.
- Southerlyn: [sarcastically] Gee, thanks.
- [after Danielle Melnick has been shot]
- Briscoe: Better be careful, Jack. Looks like it's open season on lawyers.
- [last lines of the episode]
- [a parcel deliveryman has been murdered moments after completing a delivery]
- Briscoe: When you absolutely, positively have to kill somebody overnight.
- Briscoe: [final line before leaving the series] It's nice to go out on a win.
- Southerlyn: We could've just ducked the whole issue instead of trying to set policy.
- Branch: And I can't believe I have pusillanimous pussyfooters on my own staff.
- McCoy: I don't think Spiro Agnew is the person to be quoting here, Arthur.
- Branch: If the shoe fits.
Ain't No Love (15.13)
- [Branch has just fired Southerlyn]
- Southerlyn: Is this because I'm a lesbian?
- Branch: [stunned] No... of course not, no.
- Southerlyn: [pause] Good... good.
[Fontana and Green try to convince Ron Drexler to give them a DNA sample]
- Ron Drexler: Is that a threat?
- Det. Fontana: A threat? No. A threat would be more like... 'If you stonewall this investigation any more I'm gonna break your jaw. And when you're on the ground, I'm gonna kick you 'till you spit blood you cheap shyster.' That would be a threat. This is more of a request.
[about Nathan Fogg]
- Borgia: So mostly he was a good guy?
- lawyer: Sure, if you like hypocritical, narcissistic, cold-hearted frauds.
- [about Det. Green's shooting]
- McCoy: I'm sorry about your partner.
- Fontana: Thanks.
- McCoy: Are you alright?
- Fontana: I'm thinking...just...thinking.
- [Jack meets with the defense lawyer after Green has been shot and the main witness killed]
- McCoy: Forgive me, Rosalie, if I'm not in a very generous mood.
- Rosalie Helton: What do you mean?
- McCoy: Peluso's body is still warm, Detective Green is fighting for his life. And you called me in to make a deal.
- Helton: Jack, the case goes forward today and I'm afraid the prosecution doesn't have a chance without Peluso. I'm willing to take man one with a possibility for parole.
- McCoy:[angrily] I'm not having this conversation.
- Helton: I'm just trying-
- McCoy:[raises voice] I'm not having this conversation!
- [Main cast wait outside Green's hospital room. McCoy talks to Van Buren, then addresses Fontana, who is slouched in chair.]
- McCoy: How are you doing?
- Fontana: Still thinking. [There is a pause]
- McCoy: [Helplessly] Is there anything I can do?
[Walks up to McCoy.]
- Fontana: You work your side of the fence, McCoy. I'll work mine.
Publish and Perish [15.21]
- [Det. Fontana and temporary partner Det. Falco investigate the murder of a porn star, followed by the death of her killer.]
- [The detectives discuss Samantha Savage's body.]
- Det. Fontana: Samantha Savage? The porn star?
- Det. Falco: Kind of hard to tell with her clothes on.
- Fontana: First stage of grieving: the media interview.
- [Helen DeVries, an editor, talks to a subordinate ]
- DeVries: You've got to stop thinking here [points her head] and start thinking here [points to her abdomen]
[EADA Jack McCoy informs Ms. DeVries she may serve a life sentence for killing Samantha Savage.]
- DeVries: Life? Are you retarded?
- [Someone leaves an SUV on the railroad tracks seconds before the train comes, leading to the death of twelve people and the injury of hundreds. The possible causes range from terrorism to murder to a failed suicide.]
[Interrogating a suspect]
- Det. Fontana: It's called motive. M-O-T-I-V-E. MOTIVE.
[speaking emotionally about the crash to ADA Borgia]
- Lt. Van Buren: If this case doesn't help to bring back the death penalty to New York state I don't know what will.
- Rodney Fallon (defense lawyer): Millions spent on prisons and almost nothing for health insurance...
- DA Jack McCoy: I don't make social policy.
- Fallon: No. You just have to clean up after those who do.
Corner Office [17.10]
- [last lines]
- [ADA Rubirosa is upset with EADA McCoy over McCoy's methods to convict a female CEO for second-degree murder]
- McCoy: [to Rubirosa] Night.
- [After receiving no response, McCoy walks over to Rubirosa]
- McCoy: Ask me how I sleep at night.
- Rubirosa: [stops packing her briefcase and looks at McCoy] How do you sleep at night?
- McCoy: [pause] Like a baby.
- [McCoy leaves]
The Family Hour [17.22]
- McCoy: I'm no politician, Arthur.
- Branch: Yeah, thats what everyone says.
Called Home [18.01]
- [Detective Lupo returns from abroad when his brother dies under mysterious circumstances.]
- Det. Cormack: Hey, there was another hooker rip-off two weeks ago at the McGarrick on 12th. It's almost enough to make a man swear off infidelity.
- Green: [to Lupo] Look, man. Don't think I don't know what's going through your head. But you can forget about working on this case, okay?
- Rodgers: Serial suicide artist.
- Green: Try not to look so excited.
- [Detective Lupo has obtained evidence in a way that might be unconstitutional]
- Lieutenant Van Buren: Tell me you were tying your shoe when he did that.
- Det. Green: I was tying my shoe when he did that.
- [A doctor involved in the case was investigating a genetic marker for homosexuality]
- DA McCoy: I hear Pandora's box creaking open
- McCoy: That's one area where science has been no help- how to keep decent people from making lousy decisions.
Political Animal [18.06]
- Victor Vargas: I used to think law was exciting, but politics, campaigning... it's like holding the beating heart of America in your hand.
- [Green and Lupo stare]
- Vargas: [Grins sheepishly] That must sound pretty terrible.
- [ D.A McCoy convinced politician Melanie Carver to wear a wire to gather evidence on her former aide. He later talks to her privately about some things Vargas said during the trial. ]
- McCoy: Victor said something about more of the tape. But there was no more on the tape. Did you stop recording?
- Melanie Carver:[chuckles quietly] Primary's on Tuesday. Don't forget to vote.
[Screen fades to black. End of episode.]
- Connie Rubirosa: [about one of their witnesses] Timmy came off as an opportunistic, criminal piece of crap.
- Michael Cutter: He is an opportunistic, criminal piece of crap.
- [A woman's alibi witness is her 12 year old daughter, who suddenly changes her story]
- Michael Cutter: [to McCoy] I'm going to do something about her alibi witness. You don't want to know.
- [Detective Lupo is unhappy with Cutter for browbeating a young witness into testifying against her mother.]
- Lupo: Is this some sort of sport to you?
- Cutter: [pauses] Stick with your law books, detective. On the page, the law is a much purer thing.
- Jack McCoy: [to Dr. Elizabeth Olivet] You're working for the other side now. The gloves will have to come off.
- Cutter: 'People v. Fisher.' He smashed his fiance's head in with a hammer. A dozen people saw him do it, he was covered in blood, brain matter... he was acquitted. It wasn't my first case, or my tenth. It happened four years ago. There is no such thing as a slam dunk.
- [McCoy gave Cutter information about Olivet that he used to try to discredit her during the trial]:
- Dr. Olivet: Not your finest moment, Jack.
- McCoy: Nor yours.
- Catherine Waxman: I am a rock in a sea of chaos I will not be bullied or broken.. I'm a rock in a sea of chaos...
[D.A. McCoy needs to call the state governor as a witness in a case that is likely to destroy the governor's political career]
- New York State Governor Shalvoy: Jack, we need to talk. I just got served a subpoena signed by Michael Cutter.
- District Attorney Jack McCoy: I know, I told him to do it.
- Gov. Shalvoy: You told him?! What the hell were you doing?!
- D.A. Jack McCoy: Helping to convict a murderer. You have maybe ten days before this goes public. Now go home to your family, to -
- Gov. Shalvoy: My family is none of your business! My personal life is not anybody's business! You worry, Jack. You worry how you're going to get elected without me. It's thanks to me that you have this job in the first place. Nobody wanted you!
- D.A. Jack McCoy: I'd rather be an unemployed lawyer than a well-fed pet.
- Gov. Shalvoy: [angry] You're a fool. I had high hopes for you.
- D.A. Jack McCoy: I had high hopes for you! How could you do this?! To the people who work for you, the people who elected you?! How could you be so reckless with their trust? [hoarse, emotional] I respected you, Donald... respected you.
[A video found online has been uploaded anonymously, and thus is inadmissable]
- Cutter: Did you show me this video just to annoy me? This is our best evidence!
- Kevin Bernard: Do you think New York City would hire a mentally ill woman?
- Cyrus Lupo: It would explain a few things about the tax code.
Rubber Room [20.19]
- [McCoy is trying to persuade a reluctant witness to tell the police about a former teacher who is planning to shoot up a school]
- McCoy: Ms. Scott, I'm Jack McCoy, the District Attorney. We need you to talk to us.
- Craylek: I know you know what a subpeona is.
- McCoy: [to Craylek] Just how far up your ass is your head? A member of your union is threatening to shoot up a school!
- Craylek: [sarcastically] Really? I find it hard to believe that any teacher could be pushed over the edge. What do you think did it, Mr. McCoy? Was it being micro-managed by the Department of Education, or having all of the responsibility and none of the authority? Or is it having to dig into their own pockets to pay for classroom supplies? Or maybe it's being abused and assaulted daily by students and their parents!
- McCoy: You get no argument from me there. But if your obstruction allows a massacre to happen, I will crucify you, Mr. Craylek. I will charge you with negligent homicide, and after you're convicted, I'll resign my job and represent the victims in a wrongful death suit against you and the union. By the time I'm done, you'll be finished. So my advice to you is get out of my way!
- I specifically asked for him to be put on suicide watch. Apparently, here at Riker's that means that they watch you commit suicide.
- New Hampshire. I spent a year there one weekend.
- It's like I always say: parking in this city will kill ya. (after finding a body in a parking lot)
- I'm trying to decide what to arrest you for: obstruction of justice, harboring a fugitive or just being a general pain in the ass!
- [holding handcuffs and talking to someone accused of stealing a telescope and murder] You've heard of the Seven Rings of Saturn? These are the Two Rings of Riker's.
- There's no such thing as hooker-client confidentiality.
- (To the deceased's wife) Your husband had sexual narcolepsy. He kept falling into bed.
- (Spotting a man in a full leg cast) Oh look, John. It's the latest thing in menswear.
- If I was kidding I'd be wearing a Fez and no pants.
- (Responding to Purgatorio of Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy) Isn't that a strip club?
- [After being asked by a suspect what the charge against him was] There's no charge; this one's on us!
- She shopped 'til she dropped
- Bob? What is that, like Cher?