Last of the Summer Wine
Last of the Summer Wine is a British sitcom written by Roy Clarke which follows the adventures of three quirky pensioners and their equally unusual neighbours.
Series 1 (1973) edit
Of Funerals and Fish edit
- Nora Batty is placing her laundry out to dry with another lady as two men enter Compo's house below.
- Nora Batty: They're taking his telly again.
- Lady: Oh, is it Tuesday already?
- Compo: Your old lady's dog is crapping all over the pavement.
- Blamire: That's funny. He usually sews it up in little bags and sends it by post.
- Compo: Hey Cyril, give me a fag, I'll give you a sniff of me socks!
- Clegg: This fellow, he picks up this tiny bird in his hands, and carries its quivering little body across this busy junction, and feeds it to his cat. Life's like that: a complex texture of conflicting moralities.
- Vicar: (after getting a cigarette from Clegg) I'm supposed to be stopping, but then, on the other hand, it's hardly fitting for me to be seen trying to live forever, is it?
- Blamire: (referring to Compo) He's still calling for me in broad daylight!
- Clegg: Tell the neighbours he doesn't belong to you, you're just looking after him for somebody.
- Clegg: If God's omnipotent, what could he possibly want with my old woman?
- Compo: Do you reckon I'm in love with Mrs. Batty, or is it just sex?
Short Back and Palais Glide edit
Inventor of the Forty Foot Ferret edit
Paté and Chips edit
Spring Fever edit
The New Mobile Trio edit
Hail Smiling Morn or Thereabouts edit
- Blamire has found his old camera, and has visited a photographic exhibition with Compo. They then find Clegg.
- Blamire: (Fiddling with his camera) You know, I must get a light meter.
- Clegg: I should get a heavy one. You'll pay more, but it'll last longer.
Series 3 (1976) edit
The Man from Oswestry edit
- Compo: I thought you'd be open.
- Sid: Well that's a natural assumption if you ignore the drawn blinds and the forty foot sign that says closed.
- Clegg: Why is it, if there's such a shortage of oil, it keeps appearing on my trouser bottom?
- Compo: (referring to Foggy) What's he doing now?
- Clegg: He's doing alright. You get depressed sometimes and begin to believe there aren't any real, old fashioned idiots left, and then, out of the blue, comes a genuine, fourteen carat, gilded barmpot like this!
- Foggy: (referring to Compo) That man has a hole in his trousers!
- Clegg: Yes, it's just his way of showing his individuality.
Series 12 (1990) edit
Walking Stiff Can Make You Famous edit
- Clegg: (referring to Foggy) You seem to have changed it from bicycle polo to bicycle water polo!
Series 20 (1999) edit
What's Happened to Barry's Nose? edit
- Auntie Wainwright: You're never alone with a megaphone.
- Pearl: Of course I like him.
- Marina: (unseen, through megaphone) Oh, Howard!
- Howard: (unseen, through megaphone) Oh, Marina!
- Pearl: I'll kill him!
Series 21 (2000) edit
Last Post and Pigeon edit
Why has Compo's trip to France been cancelled?
- Compo: It's because they're ashamed of me, because I'm scruffy!
- Clegg: I wouldn't say scruffy. (to Truly) Would you say scruffy?
- Truly: ...Yes, I'd say scruffy.
- Clegg: Well, if you're just going to be honest all the time.
- Auntie Wainwright: You look like a lady who appreciates a bargain.
- Ros: I'm no lady, and you haven't got any bargains.
- Auntie Wainwright: Do I know you?
- Ros: At these prices, I think I know you!
Under the Rug edit
- Compo: "Could this be the missing piece?" he asks himself. "Could this be the thing that works the magic with Nora Batty?"
- Truly: "Could this be a total idiot?" he asks himself.
- Clegg: Close.
Elegy for Fallen Wellies edit
- Glenda: Something's tormenting you, Barry. You're thinking about life and death, and all the big questions.
- Barry: Who's gonna look after his ferrets?
- Truly: D'you think the dead ever see a sunrise?
- Clegg: Yes, I do, actually.
- Truly: Even those who don't get up very early?
- Clegg: Even them. Maybe that's what Paradise is: a place where the sun doesn't come up until you're ready.
- Truly: You think he was heavenly material, do you?
- Clegg: Certainly. "To be as little children" – that was him.
- Howard: You hear of people dying, it makes you realise you have to fill every moment. Now, I don't get out enough.
- Pearl: Inside! You can fill the coal bucket.
- Howard: But Pearl, love, we have to live like there's no tomorrow.
- Pearl: If you don't get inside, there'll be no tomorrow!
- Howard: One minute we're here, the next minute we're gone.
- Pearl: That's been true of you for years!
Just a Small Funeral edit
Howard is confined to the house, and looking for a way to escape
- Howard: I wonder if I've got time to change my library book.
- Pearl: Inside, before I change your whole personality!
Cast edit
The Trio/Quartet edit
Michael Bates - Cyril Blamire (Series 1-2)
Bill Owen - William "Compo" Simmonite (Series 1-21)
Peter Sallis - Norman Clegg (Series 1-31)
Brian Wilde - Walter "Foggy" Dewhurst (Series 3-8, 12-18)
Michael Aldridge - Seymour Utterthwaite (Series 9-12)
Frank Thornton - Herbert "Truly" Truelove (Series 19-31)
Keith Clifford - Billy Hardcastle (Series 22-27)
Brian Murphy - Alvin Smedley (Series 24-31)
Burt Kwouk - Entwistle (Series 24-31)
Russ Abbot - Luther "Hobbo" Hobdyke (Series 30-31)
Supporting Cast edit
Kathy Staff - Nora Batty (Series 1-22, 24-30)
Jane Freeman - Ivy (Series 1-31)
John Comer - Sid (Series 1-7)
Blake Butler - Mr. Wainwright (Series 1,3)
Rosemary Martin - Mrs. Partridge (Series 1)
Joe Gladwin - Wally Batty (Series 2-9)
Gordon Wharmby - Wesley Pegden (Series 6,8-23)
Jonathan Linsley - "Crusher" Milburn (Series 8-9)
Juliette Kaplan - Pearl Sibshaw (Series 8-31)
Robert Fyfe - Howard Sibshaw (Series 8-31)
Jean Ferguson - Marina (Series 8-31)
Dame Thora Hird - Edie Pegden (Series 9-24)
Mike Grady - Barry Wikinson (Series 9-12, 17-31)
Sarah Thomas - Glenda Wilkinson (Series 9-31)
Danny O'Dea - Eli Duckett (Series 9-23)
Stephen Lewis - Clem "Smiler" Hemmingway (Series 12-28)
Jean Alexander - Auntie Wainright (Series 14-31)
Tom Owen - Tom Simmonite (Series 21-31)
Julie T. Wallace - Mrs. Avery (Series 21-22)
Dora Bryan - Auntie Ros (Series 21-26)
Josephine Tewson - Miss Lucinda Davenport (Series 24-31)
June Whitfield - Nellie (Series 27-31)
External links edit
- Last of the Summer Wine quotes at the Internet Movie Database