Jeffrey Bernard (27 May 1932 – 4 September 1997) was a British journalist who was columnist for the UK magazine The Spectator. He was notorious for a feckless and chaotic career and life of alcohol abuse. He was immortalized in a play Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell by Keith Waterhouse.
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- When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.
- Reach for the Ground: the Downhill Struggle of Jeffrey Bernard (Duckworth: London, 2002), p 159