It's a Gift is a 1934 comedy film starring W. C. Fields, directed by Norman McLeod. Fields plays Harold Bissonette, a small-town grocer beleaguered by a shrewish wife, an incompetent assistant, and assorted annoying children, customers, and salesmen.
- Mrs Bissonnette: Funny thing they should call you here at this hour of night from the maternity hospital.
- Harold: They didn't call me up from the maternity hospital, they wanted to know if this was the maternity hospital.
- Mrs Bissonnette: Oh, don't make it any worse.
- Salesman: Is this 1726 Prill Avenue?
- Harold: No.
- Salesman: Is there a Prill Avenue in this neighborhood?
- Harold: I don't know.
- Salesman: Do you know a man by the name of La Fong? Carl LaFong! Capital L, small a, capital F, small o, small n, small g. LaFong! Carl LaFong!
- Harold: No, I don't know Carl LaFong, capital L, small a, capital F, small o, small n, small g. And if I did know Carl LaFong, I wouldn't admit it.
- Salesman: Well, he's a railroad man and he leaves home very early in the morning.
- Harold: Well, he's a chump.
- Mrs Bissonnette: Why were you standing there like a stone image when those men were insulting me?
- Harold: I was just waiting for one of 'em to say something to me.