- Although I was too young to understand the theory of universal (that's to say male) guilt, I was old enough to know which sex suffered migraine and which sex caused it.
- All those words of praise they use for novels – spare, economical. Why should I shell out £17 for economical?
- Interviewed in the Daily Telegraph, April 2003. 
- I'm a Jewish Jane Austen.
- Interviewed for Nextbook, September 14, 2004. 
Coming from Behind (1983)Edit
- In the matrimonial life of the Jewish male every day is Yom Kippur.
- In the highly improbable event of his being asked to nominate the one most un-Jewish thing he could think of, Sefton Goldberg would have been hard pressed to decide between Nature – that's to say birds, trees, flowers, and country walks – and football – that's to say beer, bikies, mud, and physical pain.
- He was as sentimental as Hitler about applause and crowds.