Havan (2010-) is a science fiction tv series, loosely based on The Colorado Kid, by Stephen King. It premeired on the SyFy channel on July 9, 2010, and has recently finished it's second season. It revolves around Audrey Parker, an FBI agent, who moves to the small town of Haven, and stays to investigate her past and help those suffering from a series of supernatural afflictions known as "The Troubles"
Welcome to Haven [1.01]Edit
- Audrey: FBI, who are you?
- Nathan: Haven PD, who are you?
- Audrey: F-B-I are you deaf?
- Nathan: Keep your hands where I can see them.
- Audrey: Okay, what am I gonna do, pull out another gun?
- Nathan: Welcome to Haven. You like pancakes? We got good pancakes.
- Audrey: What about lobster? Isn't Maine famous for lobster?
- Nathan: I don't like lobster. I really like pancakes.
- Audrey: [after Nathan is hit by a car] So, you seriously can't feel pain?
- Nathan: It's called idiopathic neuropathy.
- Audrey: You really couldn't feel it when that car door hit your hand?
- Nathan: No.
- Audrey: Can you feel fire?
- Nathan: No.
- Audrey: Ice?
- Nathan: Oddly, yes. I can feel ice.
- Audrey: You can feel ice?!
- Nathan: No. I can feel a headache coming on, though.
- Audrey: My cellphone, oh no. It's-
- Duke: It's toast. But I got you another one. [pulls out a pink phone]
- Audrey: A princess phone? Seriously.
- Duke: You really need to work on your thank you's.
- Duke: I don't talk to cops. Even cops that i like.
- Audrey: Whoa... all right, so first question is: why is there a giant metal ball?
- Nathan: Oh, everyone knows that ball.
- Audrey: Second question: there's a ball everyone knows?
- Audrey: You don't mind do you?
- Nathan: Mind what?
- Audrey: I invited myself along.
- Nathan: It's a huge metal ball. Who could resist that?
- Audrey: Exactly.
- Duke: [seeing Nathan looking terrible] You might want to consider switching to decaf, buddy.
- Nathan: [affected by the troubles] What's it feel like? The sun?
- Duke: Feels good.
- Audrey: I can't beleiive you guys are giving me fashion advice.
- Dave: She should have come to us sooner.
- Vince: A lot sooner.
- Audrey: I have a theory.
- Nathan: Surprise.
- Audrey: You're not going to like it.
- Nathan: Surprise again.
- Audrey: You know I was thinking about... how there are two different Havens. There's the one right that's right beneath the surface, and there's the one right underneath that.
- Nathan: Sounds like every town.
- Audrey: It's definitely not like every town. But you, Nathan, you live in both Havens, and I think we're going to find that very useful.
- Nathan: Might be.
Ball and Chain [1.05]Edit
Eleanor: Well, you want to fill me in on everything, or are my services no longer required?
Audrey: No, I think we have it from here. Thank you
Eleanor: Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. Doesn't have to be true to make you feel better
Audrey: God, why can't I just walk away from this town?
Eleanor: Well, you could, but we both know Haven has it's... charms. Audrey, is that what you really want, to leave, to go back to the FBI?
Audrey: I want to find this thing
Audrey: I want to kick it's ass
Duke: Oh, Haven's finest. You know I could add "ass" to that "Haven's finest ass." And it would still work. For both of you. Just in different ways.
Ain't No Sunshine [1.08]Edit
- Audrey: You've been weird about this Jess thing from the start. You have a beautiful woman waiting up for you. You have a partner who's willing to do the boring paperwork, and you still don't want to go? Nathan, I wasn't gonna say anything before, but it's not like you have people calling you at all hours of the day to hang out. Tell me. Tell me. Come on, what's going on?
- Nathan: I don't know if I can make it happen.
- Audrey: Make what happen? [Nathan gives her a look] Oh... Wait, this isn't your first time, is it?
- Nathan: No!
- Audrey: Well what?-
- Nathan: It is my first time since I've... been like this. I can't even feel my own damn skin. I can't feel her skin. I don't know what else I can't do.
- Audrey: Hey, you know that while friends thing? You were right, I- I don't think I ever really had any. But I do now. And so do you. [she kisses his cheek and he looks shocked - he felt it]
As You Were [1.09]Edit
The Hand You're Dealt [1.10]Edit
Nathan: Say a guy like me, who can't feel anything, meets a woman and discovers he can feel her touch. That sounds... seems like fate, doesn't it?
Duke: For the record, this place gives me the heebie jeebies
Audrey: Huh. I had you pegged as one of the cool kids
Duke: For the record, no one was cool in high school. Not even me
Nathan: Parker, you don't need to be on the clock 24-7. Go.
Duke: Wow. Nathan Wuornos being magnanimous is a rare and beautiful...
Nathan: Please, take him and go
Audrey: All right, great, thank you
Duke: I was giving you a compliment. I'm just saying, that was legitimate, from the heart.
Audrey: Come on
Nathan: Kind of busy here, Duke
Duke: You say that as if I come looking for you ever
The Trial of Audrey Parker [1.11]Edit
Nathan: It's password protected. Come on Parker, where's the trust?
Cheif Wuornos: He's trying to hack into his personal file, and he's worred about trust issues
Julia: Just how did you meet these fine gentlemen?
Duke: A friend introduced us. He said they like to play poker
Julia: Did he also say they liked to kidnap their opponents and drag them out to the open sea?
Duke: I'm picking up on your sarcasm
Audrey: Do we really have a skeleton inside a wrecked boat? Is there gonna be an eye patch or a dead parrot?
Nathan: That's life on a seaside police force. What? Do you miss the FBI already?
Audrey: No, I just hope we get a treasure chest
Nathan: You know, uh, Haven PD doesn't have a special agent
Duke: : Oh, come on now. You can't tell me that wasn't special
Audrey: You know, just because this guy's dead doesn't mean that another guy with a tattoo isn't going to kill you
Duke: : You really are a buzzkill. Why would you say that? I liked you so much better when you were locked up in your cupcake room
A Tale of Two Audreys [2.01]Edit
Agent Howard: Audrey Parker.
Audrey: Agent Howard.
Agent Howard: How's local cop life treating you?
Audrey: You know, cats in trees. Like that.
Audrey Parker (new): So you think I caused the frogs and the bugs. What are you thinkin', did I use my magic wand or maybe my tricorder?
Audrey: First of all, a tricorder is just for reading.
Fear and Loathing [2.02]Edit
- Audrey: Is Duke here?
- Nathan: Too many cops in one room.
- Duke: You know, my experience... when people are scared, they either run or they fight. I'd start planning for both.
Love Machine [2.03]Edit
Evi Ryan: Look at you. Getting all domestic.
Duke: : Yeah, well, you know, I, uh, learned it living with you.
Evi Ryan: I cleaned. (Duke looks skeptical) Well, I cooked. (Duke looks skeptical) I was fun.
Duke: Yeah. You were fun.
Sparks and Recreation [2.04]Edit
- Nathan: A boy grows up in Haven, he plays baseball for the Sea Dogs or the Cutters. Everybody picks a side. Been a tradition for 50 years. Blue or Red.
Duke: : Tell me you have a plan.
Audrey: Why would I need a plan? I've got you.
Duke: That's true.
Nathan: So now you need someone from each side to make the Trouble happen?
Dave: Like epoxy.
Vince: Or peanut butter cups.
Audrey Parker's Day Off [2.06]Edit
Audrey: How about we move to questions. Does anybody have any questions? Ahh, yeah.
Student: Is that a real gun?
Audrey: Yeah, it is a real gun.
Student: Can I shoot it?
Audrey: No, you cannot shoot it.
Audrey: I especially loved the part where you went on for a half an hour about the endangered tidewater mucket.
Chris: If they're going to blindly love me, at least they're going to learn something.
Nathan: So you lived this day before?
Nathan: Huh. You're stuck in my second-favorite Bill Murray movie.
The Tides That Bind [2.07]Edit
Duke: : Body washed up on the beach today. Guy with a tattoo.
Evi: Really, did it say "I Heart Haven"?
Friend or Faux [2.08]Edit
Audrey: Okay, so who'd you piss off this time?
Duke: : Maybe he pissed me off. Is that a possibility?
Audrey: Yeah, it's least likely.
Duke: Well, I guess that answers that. Nathan definitely has a copy.
Audrey: And this one still can't dance.
Nathan: You meet me in the atrium.
Audrey: Copy that.
Nathan: Don't say "copy."
Dr. Underwood: Hi. I'm Hugh Underwood. I'm a doctor.
Chris: Yeah, Chris Brody. I'd shake your hand, but I'm pretty much dying.
Who? What? Where? Wendigo? [2.10]Edit
Nathan: I hear a squirrel.
Audrey: We are in the woods, Nathan.
Nathan: Two squirrels chattering means they're having a conversation. This is just one. It means he's scared of something large.
Audrey: Boy Scouts?
Nathan: Moose Hunter magazine. (Audrey stares) I was a kid.
Business as Usual [2.11]Edit
Duke: : You know, we don't talk enough, me and you.
Dwight: This doesn't have to get ugly. I walk out of here, it's over.
Duke: Great. If you don't mind, you can just leave the box in the umbrella stand on your way out.
Dwight: Give me the key.
Duke: Do I actually have to say "no" to that, or can I just assume it's a rhetorical statement?
Sins of the Fathers [2.12]Edit
Simon Crocker: You're taking this well.
Duke: : Yes I am. You see, I'm pretty sure that you're the result of the brownies this girl gave me last night. God, what was her name? Tall, Dutch girl...
Simon Crocker: You're not imagining this.
Duke: Says the dead guy I last saw 27 years ago.
Audrey: So what do you think? Clones? Ghosts? Zombies are trendy.
Chief Wournos: You buried me in a cooler? What cooler?
Nathan: Blue one.
Chief Wournos: What a waste of a good cooler.
Duke: :Merry Christmas. You know, I'm flexible this year--naughty or nice.
NathanDuke: Did someone else disappear?
Audrey: Duke--you know, our friend? he's got a mustache, a goatee, he wears a lot of jewelry, makes all these jokes, only looks out for himself.
Nathan: I'm friends with that guy?
- Duke: [Nathan trying to fix his car] Nathan, you can't fix this. Listen to me. [Nathan pushes him] Hey!
- Nathan: You've been telling me what I can't do since we were kids. Now Audrey's missing, we're stuck in the middle of nowhere! Do not tell me I can't fix this! I'm gonna fix this.
- Duke: This is not helping! Will you please stop acting like a lovesick child?!
- Nathan: What?
- Duke: You are in love with Audrey. [Nathan scoffs] What, did you think that was a secret?
- Nathan: You don't know what you're talking about.
- Duke: No, I do. I understand-
- Nathan: No, you don't understand anything.
- Duke: No, I understand that if you-
- Nathan: When Audrey touches me, I can feel it. She's the only one I can feel.
- Duke: What?
- Nathan: She's the only one.
The Farmer [3.03]Edit
Over My Head [3.04]Edit
Double Jeopardy [3.05]Edit
Real Estate [3.06]Edit
- Duke: [Tommy takes out a gun after they're trapped in the house] Seriously? A ghost just removed the front door. And you really think that shooting at the windows is gonna help?
Magic Hour [3.07]Edit
- Duke: Why are you so nervous?
- Audrey: I've been what, at least three other people in my life, and one of them was in love with the Colorado Kid. And he could be on the other side of that door and all I can think about is, I should have worn my other pants.
- Duke: Audrey, you are officially a girl.
Magic Hour Part II [3.08]Edit
- Audrey': [crying over Nathan] Nathan... I was the one that was supposed to... I was supposed to go. I have always loved you. I always will love you.
- Duke: Nathan's welcome back from the dead party's in full swing.
- Audrey: What's the public reason for the party?
- Duke: Taco Tuesday.
- Audrey: Oh. [Duke laughs]
- Duke: [stuck in 1955] Hey, I just want to thank you for bailing me out. I thought I was going to be in there till The Beatles.
- Junior: The who?
- Duke: Them too.
- Nathan: We got to fix whatever you did to change the future.
- Duke: No, look, I kept a low profile, okay? I know the rules.
- Nathan: The rules?
- Duke: The time-travel rules.
Last Goodbyes [3.11]Edit
Thanks for the Memories [3.13]Edit
- Duke: I'd like to know how I even got to Boston.
- Mack: Oh, you saying you got amnesia or something?
- Duke: No. Maybe. Yes. Which answer's going to get you to uncuff me?
- Mack: None of the above.
- Duke: If I could just borrow your phone for two minutes. I promise you're not going to get in trouble.
- Nurse: Appreciate you looking out for me.
- Duke: Oh, trust me, dear, that bedpan change could have been a very different experience.
- Nurse: And they say chivalry is dead.
- Jennifer: If I was gonna ditch you, I would've done it before I had to flash that orderly my boobs.
- Duke: All I said was we needed a distraction.
- Jennifer: Well, it worked, didn't it?
- Dwight: A body found in public on Founders' Day. I was hoping that people might actually be able to celebrate, that Haven could get back to normal.
- Nathan: This isn't normal?
- William: You remember the events, but the emotions, what were were they? What did you feel?
- Audrey: Pissed off.
- William: No. You boyfriend, did you love him?
- Audrey: No.
- William: You've been in love before, right? Real love, big love.
- Audrey: No.
- William: And yet you feel it every day. It's that aching in your heart, the weight. It's for someone that you haven't met in this lifetime.
- Nathan: It's a bad idea. I need a roster...
- Frank: I don't give a damn if you're still a cop! You've got no authority in this town.
- Duke: If it makes you feel better, I—I never thought you had any authority.
Lost and Found [4.04]Edit
The New Girl [4.05]Edit
- Vince: You make sure this happens. If it doesn't, the Guard won't just be here for Nathan.
- Duke: Good pep talk.
- Lexie: And Troubled people in this town--they can do that stuff? Why the hell does anybody still live here?
- Nathan: You've done peyote?
- Lexie: Sure. This morning I flew through a multidimensional door, okay? I think peyote makes sense.
- Gloria: Okay, Seth Hughes, 25. Running errands, walks out of a bakery with a dozen muffins, and... gets rigor mortis. Yes, normally that happens after death, but in Haven. Look at that. It's like the actin and myosin in his cells went bonkers.
- Duke: Bonkers?
- Gloria: Yeah, it's a medical term.
- Audrey: Besides, what about the deal that you made with the Guard?
- Duke: Since when doesn't the Guard want me dead? Look, I still think this is our very best bad plan.