Gravity Falls

      Gravity Falls is an American animated television series which premiered on the Disney Channel in 2012.

      Season 1

      Tourist Trapped

      Dipper: Ah, summer vacation. A time for leisure, recreation, and just taking her easy. Unless you're me.
      Mabel: [whispering] He's looking at it, he's looking at it!
      A boy: [reading from a letter] Uhh, do you like me? Yes, definitely, absolutely?
      Mabel: I rigged it!
      Grunkle Stan: And here we have "Rock That Looks Like a Face Rock"; the rock that looks like a face.
      Crowd member: Does it look like a rock?
      Grunkle Stan: No, it looks like a face.
      Another crowd member: Is it a face?
      Grunkle Stan: It's a rock that looks like a face!
      [Dipper pokes in through the crowd]
      Dipper: Over here! Grunkle Stan?
      Grunkle Stan: For the fifth time, it's not an actual face!
      Dipper: Hey, hey! Let go of my sister!
      Gnome: Oh, hey there. You know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in any danger. She's just marrying all 1000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity. Isn't that right, honey?
      Mabel: You guys are butt-faces!
      Dipper: Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for...teenagers?! Stay away from Gravity Falls' nefarious...ZOMBIES?
      Grunkle Stan: [in the bathroom a floor below] Did somebody say...crombie? What is that, a crombie? Is that even a word? You're losing your mind...
      Dipper: I'm telling you, there's something weird going on in this town! Just yesterday, my mosquito bites spelled out BEWARE.
      Grunkle Stan: [leans in and examines Dipper's arm] That says BEWARB.
      Dipper: [to Mabel] Awkward sibling hug?
      Mabel: Awkward sibling hug.

      [The twins hug for a second, and then pat each other on the back twice while saying 'Pat, pat.']

      The Legend of the Gobblewonker

      [Dipper, Mabel, and Soos encounter what they think is the Gobblewonker, but is actually just a shipwreck inhabited by beavers]
      Beaver 1: [subtitled] I love cavorting!
      Beaver 2: [subtitled] That deserves a hug! [The two beavers hug, while another beaver slides right off]
      Dipper: But, w-what was that noise there? I heard a monster noise.
      [Another beaver is seen playing with a chainsaw]
      Soos: Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw!
      Dipper: Maybe that old guy was crazy after all...
      Mabel: He did use the word "scrapdoodle"...
      Grunkle Stan: Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?

      Headhunters

      Mabel and Biker: Two, three, four...
      Mabel: Your wife is going to be beautiful!
      Dipper: Mabel! We've got a big break in the case!
      Mabel: Break in the case!
      Biker: But will she love me!?

      The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

      [Mabel comes to the door with jewels covering her face]

      Mabel: Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bedazzled my face! Blink! [painfully blinks, a few gems fall off] Ow...
      Dipper: Is that... permanent?
      Mabel: I'm unappreciated in my time...
      Stan: For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible 'Sack of Mystery'. When you put your money in it, it mysteriously disappears!
      Various Tourists: Oh yeah! That makes perfect sense! That was totally worth the drive!
      TV Announcer: The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist!
      Bud Gleeful: Void where prohibited, no C.O.D's accepted. Carla, I've always loved you but I've never had the guts to say it.
      Stan: No one who lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof.
      Dipper: Do tents have roofs?
      Mabel: I think we just found our loophole! Literally! [Holds up a rope with a knot tied in it] Womp-womp!
      Dipper: Whoa, this is like a bizarre-o version of The Mystery Shack. They even have their own Soos.

      [A man looking almost identical to Soos walks by.]

      Gideon: I'll read your mind if I am able...something tells me you're named Mabel!
      Mabel: [Turns to reveal that her sweater says Mabel in big letters.] How'd he do that?
      Mabel: Hey Dipper. What's going on?
      Dipper: Whoa, where have you been? And what's with those fingernail? You look like a wolverine.
      Mabel: I know, right? Rawr! I was hanging out with my new pal Gideon. He is one dapper little man!
      Dipper: Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head.
      Mabel: Oh, leave him alone! You never wanna do girly stuff with me! You and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time.
      Dipper: What do you mean?
      Soos: Hey dude! Ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?
      Dipper: Am I!

      [Off screen]

      Soos: Yeah!
      Dipper: One at a time! One at a time!
      Gideon: Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world!

      [Gideon leans in and gives her a hug.]

      Mabel: Are you sniffing my hair?
      Mabel: I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here!
      Gideon: Well, people have a hard time saying no to me.
      Mabel: I've never seen so many forks. And water with bubbles in it? Ooh la la, oui oui!
      Gideon: Oh! Parle vou Francis?
      Mabel: I have no idea what you're saying.
      Soos: I wonder what the new name for the power couple will be? Mabideon? Gideable? Ha! Magidbelion!

      [Stan has just stormed out of the front door, intent on telling Gideon to stay away from Mabel.]

      Soos: Dude! Wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet and he had to come back out and go out through the real door?

      [Soos opens the door to see if it leads outside. It does.]

      Soos: Nope. Real door.

      [Stan sees a sign on the door that says 'Pardon This Garden.']

      Stan: I will pardon nothing!
      Bud: Since you're here, you simply must come in for some coffee!
      Stan: But I-I-
      Bud: It's imported! All the way from Columbia!
      Stan: Wow, I went to jail there once!
      Gideon: Hark! What a surprise! A red-breasted South American rainbow Macaw.

      [Mabel screams as a large parrot descends onto Gideon's arm.]

      Gideon: Two, three, four...
      Parrot: Mabel! Will! You! Accompany! Gideon! To! The! Ballroom! Dance! This! Thurbsday! Bawk! Thursday!
      Dipper: Hey! How'd it go?
      Mabel: I don't know, I have a lobster now.

      [Mabel and Gideon are in a rowboat with Old Man McGucket rowing.]

      Old Man McGucket: Boatin' at night! Boatin' at night! A hee hee hee!
      Mabel: You know, I thought dancing was going to be the end of the evening, right?
      Gideon: Don't you want this evening to last, my sweet?
      Mabel: No! I mean, yes. I mean, I'm always happy to hang out with a friend. Buddy, pal, chum...other word for friend...
      Old Man McGucket: Pal?
      Mabel: I already said pal, uh, mate?
      Dipper: What the heck happened on that date?
      Mabel: I don't know. I was in the friend zone, and then he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Chummity quicksand!
      Dipper: Mabel, come on, it's not like you gonna have to marry Gideon.
      Stan: Good news, Mabel! You have to marry Gideon!
      Mabel: What?!

      [Stan walks in wearing a tee shirt that says 'Team Gideon']

      Stan: It's all part of my long term deal with Bud Gleeful. There's a lot of money tied up in this thing. Plus I got this free shirt! [Looks down] Ugh. I am fat.

      [Mabel runs out screaming]

      Stan: Bodies change, honey! Bodies change.
      Dipper: Oh no. Mabel?

      [Mabel has her entire body wrapped up in her sweater, rocking back and forth.]

      Mabel: Mabel's not here. She's in Sweatertown.

      [Gideon uses his powers to toss furniture around the room.]

      Bud Gleeful: Gideon Charles Gleeful! Clean up your room this instant!
      Gideon: I can buy and sell you, old man!
      Bud: Fair enough.

      [Mabel is sitting on the porch, chewing her hair and thinking. Wendy walks out.]

      Wendy: How's that hair tasting, buddy?
      Mabel: Wendy, I need some advice. You've broken up with guys, right?
      Wendy: Oh yeah. Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stony Davidson...
      Mabel: I don't know what's wrong with me! I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross!
      Wendy: Blake Whirley, Nate Holt, ugh, that guy with the tattoos...
      Mabel: Maybe I shouldn't have let Dipper do it for me. Gideon deserves an honest break up.
      Wendy: Danny Feldman, Mark Epsteen...oh man, I'm not sure if I actually broke up with him! No wonder he keeps calling me...
      Mabel: I know what I've gotta do. Thanks for talking to me, Wendy.

      [Mabel rides off on her bike. Wendy's phone rings]

      Wendy: Ugh. Ignore.
      Gideon: Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee. I rebuke thee!
      Stan: Rebuke? Is that a word?
      Gideon: The entire Pines family have invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!
      Stan: What, do you have, like a Word-A-Day calender or something?
      Dipper: Oh yeah, what is he gonna do now? Try to guess which number I'm thinking of?
      Mabel: He'll never guess which number I'm thinking of! Negative 8! No one would guess a negative number!
      Soos: You done?
      Mabel: Not yet.
      Soos: How bout now?
      Mabel: Okay, now!

      [Soos turns around to reveal that Mabel has covered his entire front side with gems.]

      Soos: Let's do this.

      [He spins around while Dipper shines a flashlight on him, casting a disco-ball like pattern of light across the room. Stan walks in.]

      Stan: You're all fired.

      The Inconveniencing

      Wendy: [to Dipper] ...and your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip.
      Mabel: [feeling sick] Uhhhhh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?
      [Mabel hallucinates a rainbow colored candy world populated by the Smile Dip mascots]
      Flavor Pup #1: [unintelligible]
      Flavor Pup #2: Would you like to eat my candy paws?
      Mabel: Of course, you little angel! [starts chewing on the paw]
      Dipper: Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?
      Mabel: [spinning on globe] I believe you're a big dork! [Dipper rolls his eyes and stops globe with pencil] Whoa!

      [Mabel is shown riding a dolphin with big arms.]

      Mabel: The future is in the past! Onwards, Aoshima!
      Wendy: And Robbie. You can probably figure him out.
      Robbie: Yeah, I'm the guy who spray painted the water tower.
      Dipper: Oh, you mean The Big Muffin!

      [Changes to shot of a water tower with a red graffiti explosion resembling a muffin.]

      Lee: It kinda does look like a muffin.
      Ma: Back when we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store!
      Pa: Always sassafrassing customers with their boomy-boxes and disrespectful short pants! So we decided to up and ban them. But they retaliated with their newfangled rap music.
      Ma: The lyrics...they were so hateful!

      [A rap song blares from a boom box.]

      Rapper: Homework's whack, and so are rules! Tucking in your shirts for fools!
      Mabel: Uh-oh...
      Dipper: What?
      Mabel: Somebody's in love!
      Dipper: I am not, I just think Wendy's really cool! It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about her!

      [The screen shows Dipper lying in bed, awake.]

      Dipper: Oh no.
      Wendy: What's this? A secret ladder to the roof?
      Soos: Uh, I don't know, dude.
      Wendy: Eh?
      Soos: Eh?
      Wendy: Eh?
      Soos: You're freaking me out, dude!
      Mabel: Random dance party for no reason!

      [Music starts playing as Wendy and Mabel dance. Dipper writes on a clipboard. The shot changes to see that he was writing 'I am pretending to write something down.]

      Mabel: Since when are we 13? Is this a leap year?
      'Dipper: Come on, Mabel! This is our chance to hang out with the cool kids. And Wendy or whatever...
      Mabel: I knew it! You love her! Love, love, love love love!
      Dipper: [pointing] Oh hey, what's that?
      Mabel: Huh? [While she is turned, Dipper flips her hair over her face.] Bluh! Bluh! Bluh!

      [Mabel uses a marker to change graffiti that says 'You Stink' to 'You Look Nice Today'.]

      Mabel: This is going to blow someone's mind!
      TV Announcer: You're watching the Black-and-White-Period-Piece-Old-Lady-Boring-Movie Channel.
      Grunkle Stan: Kids! I can't find the remote and refuse to stand up!
      TV Announcer: Stay tuned for the Friday Night Movie, The Duchess Approves, starring Sturly Stempleburgess as 'The Duchess', and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire.
      Grunkle Stan: No...no!

      [The phone rings. Stan is watching The Duchess Approves, immersed, eating ice cream.]

      The Duchess: I don't care about dukes or commoners or His Royal Highness Lionel of Conmore! I'm not afraid anymore, Mother!
      Queen: Duchess! I forbid you!
      Duchess: I may be a duchess...but I'm also a woman!
      Grunkle Stan: Yes! In your face, Elizabeth! It's just like my life!...in a way.
      Grunkle Stan: Ah, the wedding! I've waited so long for this! Oh, look at her in that dress! [Gasps are heard from the TV] Count Lionel?! What is he doing here! [From the TV, a voice says, 'I've come to reclaim my bride!'] You had your chance at the cotillion, you! [On TV: You had your chance at the cotillion, you!] That's what I'm sayin'! Aaahhhh...!

      [Dipper and Mabel are walking outside. The TV set crashes out of the window. Stan pokes his head through the empty spot.

      Grunkle Stan: Uh...couldn't find the remote.

      Dipper vs. Manliness

      Manotaur: Not man enough? NOT MAN ENOUGH? I have 4 adam's apples, six Y-chromosomes, pecs on my abs and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!

      Double Dipper

      [Dipper is trying to make more clones of himself using the photocopier]
      Tyrone: Uh oh, paper jam! [takes the paper out and lays it on the ground.]
      [A malformed Dipper clone emerges from the sheet and tackles Tyrone]
      Dipper Clone #3: C'mon, you're not gonna make me partner up with him, are you?
      Tyrone: Shh, don't be rude! [to Paper Jam Dipper] Hey, buddy, hey, it's okay. [Paper Jam Dipper attacks him again]
      Dipper: Okay, just one more clone.

      Irrational Treasure

      The Time Traveller's Pig

      Mabel: He is such a jerk.
      Dipper: Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs.
      Mabel: Don't worry, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the- [screaming] OH MY GOSH A PIG!

      ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

      Dipper: Wendy, I just wanted to tell you that everyone makes mistakes. And when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated.
      Wendy: Dude. You lost me.
      Dipper: *sighs* I know.

      Fight Fighters

      Rumble McSkirmish: I am ready to take on the greatest Fight Fighters! Take me to the Soviet Union!
      Dipper: Uh, that's gonna be tough. For a number of reasons.
      Teenager: [is handed keys to a new car] I love you, dad!
      [Rumble McSkirmish runs by and smashes the car]
      Teenager: Oh, my car!
      Father: We'll just buy another one!
      Teenager: I love being rich...
      Rumble McSkirmish: Haha! You fight like a girl! Who is also a baby!
      Dipper: We need to just learn to hate each other in silence.
      Robbie: You mean, like...what girls do?
      Rumble McSkirmish: Dr. Karate! You killed my father again!
      Dr. Karate: Hnnnnggggghhh!
      Rumble McSkirmish: You will take that baaaaaack!
      Rumble McSkirmish: Did he kill your father?
      Dipper: Well, he's dating the girl I like, and he posts a really annoying amount of status updates.
      Rumble McSkirmish: And then he killed your father!
      Rumble McSkirmish: How could you laugh when you killed this boys father?
      Robbie: Wait, what?
      Dipper: I have a confession to make. Robbie...didn't kill my father.
      Rumble McSkirmish: What? Then who did?

      Little Dipper

      Summerween

      Boss Mabel

      Bottomless Pit!

      The Deep End

      Toby Determined: On the bright side, pun very much intended, it's opening day at the Gravity Falls pool!
      Mabel: Gravity Falls pool?!
      Dipper: Today?!
      Soos: Pun intended?!
      Mabel: Ah, the pool! Sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!
      Stan: Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus but wet.
      Dipper: Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?
      Soos: It's best not to think about it.
      Mermando: Hola!
      Mabel: Whoa! Are you from Australia?
      Kid: How long ya in for?
      Stan: Two hours for roughhousing. But I'm innocent!
      Kid 2: Pool jail ain't so bad. As long as you don't end up in solitary.
      Solitary confinement kid: It's the nights that are the hardest.
      Mabel: Hey, I brought you a sandwich! It's kind of wet, but it's still good! I like sharing things. Sandwiches, secrets... [whispers] share your secret, beautiful stranger.
      Mabel: I should've known from your strange foreign fish language!
      Mermando: It is Spanish.
      Stan: Yes, yes...burn the child!
      Gideon: Deal with it!
      Wendy: Soos!
      Soos: Inflatable duck guy? Is that you?
      Wendy: Yes Soos!
      Soos: I knew you guys were secretly alive! I knew it!
      Wendy: My people have been enslaved, Soos! You must free us!
      Soos: The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand...

      [Mabel puckers her lips in preparation for a kiss.]

      Mermando: What are you doing with your mouth.
      Mabel: Me? Nothing. This? I was just eating some sour candy...so my lips did that...because the candy was so sour.
      Mermando: Can I have some candy?
      Mabel: [Pauses] No.
      Mermando: I have never met anyone like you.
      Mabel: Me too. Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires.
      Dipper: I don't remember the vampires.
      Mabel: I don't tell you everything!
      Dipper: Mabel? Is everyone here tonight? What, is Soos here too?
      Soos: [Falls off of the fence in the background.] I'm okay!
      Dipper: Go home, Soos.
      Soos: You got it!
      Mabel: Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make prosthetic pair of people legs.
      Mermando: Intriguing...
      Dipper: Mabel, if you don't hand over those pool supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever!
      Mabel: Okay...I understand. [Trying to distract Dipper] Hey, look! Wendy in a bikini!
      Dipper: [Falls for it.] Really? At night?
      Stan: Now all I've got to do is wait here 15 hours until the pool opens.... This was a good plan.
      Mabel: Dipper, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!
      Dipper: Mermen don't breathe air!
      Mabel: Then give him reverse CPR, doi!
      Dipper: [Repeatedly fills his mouth with water and spits it into Mermando's.] I hate this...I hate this...
      Mabel: [Takes a picture of Dipper and Mermando with their lips together.] Haha...blackmail.

      [Mermando sits up, able to breathe again.]

      Mermando: Thank you for saving me, but didn't you just roll me into the lake?

      [Shot widens to reveal them sitting a few feet away from the edge of the lake.]

      Dipper: Agh!

      Carpet Diem

      Dipper: Alright, let a pro on the field. Or floor...whatever.

      [Dipper hits the golf ball, causing it to break some things, and it ends up crashing through a window.]

      Stan: Ah, my head! It hit me right in the head!
      Dipper: Soos, can I sleep in your break room tonight?
      Soos: Sure, dude. [Opens door to reveal small room full of pipes.] You just gotta make your body go like a video game puzzle block. The trick is to hold perfectly still. [Repeatedly burns arm on pipe.] Ow! Wait, wait! Ow! Wait, wait! Ow! Wait, wait! Actually felt kind of good that time...
      Dipper: Ah, sleeping under the stars. Not bad. [Dipper sees a wolf chewing on his leg.] Ah, get off! Get away! [Camera compares Mabel's sleepover to Dipper been chewed on by a wolf.] This is still better.
      Candy: Candy falls down now!
      Mabel: Get ready to be poked by the fun stick! Boop!
      Dipper: Ow!
      Stan: [Watching TV, Stan says this to three different shows; two men, two deer, and two babies.] Fight, fight, fight!
      Announcer: Baby fights! Will return in a minute.
      Stan: TV. It knows what I want.
      Stan: Man, that's refreshing! Ten suck-up points to this lemonade. [In high-pitched voice] Thank you, Stan[Normal] Ten more for politeness! Oh, and so sweet!
      Mabel: Don't get too comfortable, brother. I just made Stan an omelet shaped like his own face!
      Stan: I have seen the face of beauty!
      Dipper: [In Mabel's body] Braces are horrible! It's like my mouth hates me!
      Mabel: [In Dipper's body] Hey, Grunkle Stan! Your face looks like a butt!
      Stan: What?!
      Mabel: Breaking stuff is so much fun, I am Dipper and I stink!
      Grenda: 3, 4, 5. [Phone rings.] It's him, my dream date! Hello?
      Robot Voice: Hello baby, this is Kevin. My beach house has room for 2.
      Candy: Kevin has the voice of a robot.
      Grenda: Don't ruin this for me, Candy!
      Candy: Kevin, for the last time, I am not interested!
      Grenda: How could you say that to Kevin?
      Stan: Look, times are tough, the economy or whatever, et cetera. Bottom line is...I'm going to have to cut your pay.
      Waddles in Soos's Body: [Breathes creepily and puts hand on Stan's face.]
      Stan: What are you doing?
      Waddles: [Breathes eerily]
      Stan: Is this some kind of negotiating tactic? Because it's not going to work!
      Waddles: [Continues breathing creepily as the camera zooms in on him]
      Stan: Alright, I was lying, I'll give you a raise, just never do that again!

      Boyz Crazy

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      Last modified on 4 May 2013, at 18:18