Fillmore! is a Disney animated television series, created by Scott Gimple. Loosely based on popular cop shows of the 1970s like The Mod Squad, Fillmore is centered on a reformed delinquent teenager, Cornelius Fillmore, and his partner, Ingrid Third, working as part of the Safety Patrol at "X Middle School".
To Mar a Stall [1.01]Edit
- Vallejo: Is that - for me?
- Anza: Got your name on it.
- (Vallejo opens box and a springy fish pops out. He pulls out a "Singing Fish")
- Singing Fish Model: Row Row Row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream.
- Glee Club: (chimes in) Life is but a Dreeeaaammm!
- Tommy: I ain't goin' out like Charles Laskey, know what I'm sayin'?
- Ingrid: Who's Charles Laskey?
- Tommy: That's what I'm sayin', know what I'm sayin'?
- Jean Grace: I can't help you there. I don't believe in indoor plumbing, and I have never set foot in a school bathroom. I always go out-
- Ingrid: Uh. Don't even wanna know.
- Frankie Polk: Yes! I draw toilets. Beautiful toilets. The perfect marriage of form and function, of style and substance, of water and porcelain.
- Vallejo: Principal Folsom isn't sure whether to give you guys a commendation or to give you detention. On the one hand, you put Stainless away. But on the other hand, you destroyed an entire shipment of brushed steel stalls, you ruined a month's supply of macaroni, and you allowed the most notorious graffiti vandal in the history of the school to escape.
- Madeline: Are you reading those?
- Ingrid: Photographic memory.
Test of the Tested [1.02]Edit
- Ingrid: The S.A.T.T.Y. 9. Has there been anything more pointless?
- Protestor: Ban Lobstee the Lobster! Make X Middle School get a new mascot! Stop crustacean exploitation!
- Fillmore: (Beat) You tell me.
- Fillmore: (in the phone)Fillmore. Huh, not now, the duck is in ear shot. Peace.
- Ingrid: Fillmore, you know me pretty well.
- Fillmore: I'd say very well.
- Ingrid: Uhuh,so how can you think you could pull over on me. Listen, I know all you guys are shipping in getting me a scooter for my birthday.
- Fillmore: Your birthday is coming up?
- Ingrid: You guys can't get me a scooter.
- Fillmore: Oh, yeah. We can.
- Ingrid: Fillmore, everybody is gonna think that I'm trying to be in the scoot bandwagon.
- Fillmore: Ingrid, you have an Abe Lincoln lunch box, since when do you care what everybody thinks?
- Ingrid: Hey, Abe Lincoln is coo- oh, good point.
- Karen Tehama: That one's got attitude.
- Vallejo: That one is also the best.
- Principal Folsom: The last thing I want to see is 12 hundred kids having to take it over.
- (Door to the pool opens)
- Willie: We'll have to take it over?! The SATTY-9, or the Sensless Aptitude Tryout Tested Yearly, was the hardest test I've ever taken! It took three hours! I saw spots! (with French accent) I developed this spontaneous French accent! (normal voice) I can't take it again! I can't! (Fillmore splashes water in his face)
- Fillmore: Check yourself, Willie. You don't want to take this test again, and we don't want to either, so it's not going to happen. We're on it.
- Ingrid: Um, Elliot? The reason to wear boxers is to avoid mooning strangers. Maybe you should get some new ones. Or maybe a big patch.
- (Elliot realizes his boxers are torn, covers himself, and runs off)
- Vallejo: People, can we cover Elliot's butt please?
- Ingrid: I didn't need that in my photographic memory.
- Cheerleading Coach: You're as solid as a geodude using it's harden attack.
- Augie: I love Tartar sauce!
- Fillmore: (Cutting off Seth's escape route) Ingrid! We take Seth back to HQ, and then we talk (cut to Safety Patrol HQ) You were gonna let him go.
- Ingrid: I thought about it... but I was going to get him
- Fillmore:You almost didn't. Ingrid, we're partners. Be straight with me
- Ingrid: I know Seth. he's creative. he does these cool little cartoons about a pig named Schmoogoogey. He invented a candy bar wallet that keeps them from melting in your pocket. But you don't see that in a S.A.T.T.Y. 9 score
- Seth: Cool. *weeping* level 26
- Ingrid: For a second, I just thought, maybe the world would be better off without those answer sheets.
- Fillmore: That test may be beat, but there's a right way to fight it. Protesting. Giant banners. Editorials. Hard jams with harder rhymes. Going the other way is a sucker move. We have a job. We don't make the rules.
- Ingrid: (Indignant) I only forgot that for a second.
- Fillmore: (Forlorn) But Ingrid, you forgot that.
- Principal Folsom: (Phone ringing) You hear that? That's how it's been since the answer sheets got stolen. I hear it in my sleep, I add milk to my crisped rice cereal, and it SOUND LIKE MY PHONE (bangs fists on table)! Norma, hold my calls. I gave you 48 hours, and we're down to 12. Where are my results, people (bangs fists on table again)?!
- Ingrid: Um, Elliott?
- Elliott: Wha?
- Ingrid: Here's your candy back. (Spills malt balls)
- Elliott: Whoa! (Slips on the candy and falls to the ground)
- Ingrid: You should stay away from that stuff. It's real bad for ya.
- Fillmore: (While leaving school) Sorry we had to give you your birthday present a day early.
- Ingrid: It was a nice non-surprise. Fillmore, about what went down on the bridge...
- Fillmore: Hey, it was a bridge you had to cross. Now you're on the other side
- Ingrid: I am. But I'd still like to see that stupid test go down.
- Fillmore: Don't we all. But Ingrid, what can you do?
- Ingrid: Something.
- Fillmore: I don't think that's against the rules, at least any of the rules I know. *Laughs* Hey, let's get some egg rolls. You're buying.
- Ingrid: *pulls out scooter and puts on gear while looking at Fillmore*
- Fillmore: Ingrid, you can't ride that on school grounds.
- Ingrid: Oh sure I can. Watch!
- Fillmore: You're gonna let me take a turn right?
- Ingrid: Only if you catch me... *rides off*
A Wurm in Our Midst [1.03]Edit
- O'Farrell: Hi, Tony. Is your refridgerator running, like you? ...Man, that was weak!
- Student: Excuse me! We're meditating here!
- Tony: Excuse yourself, sister.
- Tony: Shut up and call my mother!
- Fillmore: Trust me, I'll get right on that.
- Ingrid: Don't let him get to you, Fillmore.
- Fillmore: Too late! Dog that kid is bad news!
- Fillmore: This ain't good.
- Librarian: 'Isn't'.
- Fillmore: Isn't.
- Ingrid: Judy Blume doesn't have a subtext, but she is very good.
Cry, The Beloved Mascot [1.04]Edit
- Larkin: (to Ingrid) Hey, Third! How'd you like that cream pie?
- Alistair: Whatcha gonna do now we've come for you?
Red Robins Don't Fly [1.05]Edit
- Fillmore: Sorry man, I was comin' up to— Hey, Vallejo. Is this your card?
- (Drops card, spins around and knocks over projector screen.)
- Vallejo: My what? (nearly
- (Fillmore quickly picks projector back up.)
- Vallejo: (baffled) Whoa, Fillmore. Nice catch! Thanks.
- Fillmore: Huh, listen man, ain't no thing but a chicken on a string.
- Vallejo: Huh?
- Fillmore: (Smugly) Exactly! Uh, you okay? Oh, and uh, could you sign this communications report?
- (Vallejo, rightly confused, mindlessly signs the forms for the new Walkies.)
- Fillmore: Cool. Brief away, baby.
- Vallejo: No other volunteers? (beat) Put your hand down, O'Farrell.
- O'Farrell: But I already got the outfit! What am I supposed to do with this wig?
- Vallejo: Lots of things.
- Anagram: PIONEER LASSES FREAKS BAKE TAN CAPS.
- Vallejo: She likes playing Red Robin, Fillmore. She likes it a lot.
- Fillmore: Just what are you driving at, Vallejo?
- Vallejo: Maybe something, maybe nothing... Just keep an eye on your partner, Fillmore.
- Vallejo: (after Fillmore and he saw Ingrid 'wrap' Jamie)Ingrid might be in over her head.
- Fillmore: I think she's playing the part.
- Vallejo: You see what she did to that kid? She was smiling.
- Fillmore: Yeah, she was. To make it look good.
- Vallejo: You wanna know the truth? I didn't want to put Ingrid on that case. Not because she's new, but because she's
different. She ain't the most popular girl in school, Fillmore.
- Fillmore: Hey, Vallejo, neither are you.
- Vallejo: She doesn't run with a crowd. Now she's got one! You're her friend, you're close, and I thought that was enough! But the thing is, I made that mistake before...
- Vallejo: Back in the seventh grade I was partnered with a safety patroller who was sent undercover as a Red Robin. She was a lot like Ingrid; very smart, her own person. But being around that kinda group, she turned, Fillmore. I tried to talk her out of it, (wistfully) but... no dice. She's now the head of the Red Robins.
- Fillmore: Malika... snap!
Act 3: A Bond Broken
- Fillmore: Why didn't you tell me.
- Vallejo: I'm telling you now. I don't want to lose Ingrid the way I lost Malika. I thought things would be different, maybe Ingrid was stronger-
- Fillmore: She is stronger.
- Vallejo: Thing is, I don't know if it's about strong, Fillmore. Malika was smart. Like Ingrid. Quirky, out of the mainstream. But unlike Ingrid, she was in a couple clubs. Head of the unicycle squad, president of the A/V club, (hesitantly) and... of course... she was a-
- Fillmore: safety patroller.
- Vallejo: Even then, the Robins took it all away from her. She sold her unicycle, disbanded the A/V club, and now only has one passion; the Red Robins. I don't want that to happen to Ingrid!
- Fillmore: (Determined) Oh it won't happen to Ingrid. I'll make sure.
- Vallejo: I don't know if it's your decision, Fillmore.
- Fillmore: I'm gonna go talk to Ingrid.
- Malika: You could have been a part of the greatest organization in the school!
- Ingrid: (putting on her sash) I already am.
- Jenna: Ah, yes. Ingrid. Technically, you're still too new.
- Jamie: Uh, she can have my place! She can have whatever she wants!
(Ingrid puts her new walkie talkie on the table during the safety patrol's poker game)
- Vallejo: Nice walkie... Wait a second, you couldn't have gotten those without my signature... Communications report!
- Fillmore: Shh. Did you hear that? Sounded like someone calling for help... Out there. We better check it out. (He and Ingrid rush outside)
- Vallejo: (turns around) Where? I didn't... (Turns back to see they're gone.) FILLMORE!
Next Stop, Armageddon [1.06]Edit
- Vallejo: Of all the days you picked to tick Folsom off!
- Ingrid: I'm gonna have to ask you to stop "tooting" so close to us!
- Danny O'Farrell: Oh merciful pancakes! Did I say pancakes? Oh why did I say pancakes?
- Folsom: I don't want your promises, I want answers!
- Vallejo: If your not gonna replace Thelonius, can you at least flush him or somethin'?
Nappers Never Sleep [1.07]Edit
- Fillmore: Goin' undercover's part of the gig, Ingrid.
- Mrs. Konquist: I almost made it out until someone decided to read War and Peace in one sitting!
- Mr. Almaden: I'm on page 220!
Ingrid Third, Public Enemy #1 [1.08]Edit
- Fillmore: “dear Wayne, greetings from your old hometown man. Sorry haven’t written to you yet, but things been pretty busy down here in Safety patrol. For the best officer of the force had moved to Tennessee. By the way, I’m talking about you. A lot of stuffs had gone since you left. Thought I tell you about it. Last time we saw each other I call you seeing me at the stop of the bus school.”
- Fillmore: You're always by the book.
- Wayne: You threw out my book.
- Cheerleader: Hi! Suprised ya? I'm Sherri Shatler, with the X Middle School Welcome Wagon. Welcome Ingrid Third!
- Ingrid: Uh... Hi. Thank you? Can you tell me why all the kids are looking at me like...
- Cheerleader: -Like you transferred from Lameville? Sure! First, You're new. Second, you dress differently. Third, It's only a matter of time before kids learn you're the smartest kid in school! Yeah, I looked at your transcript. Now here's an "X" shaped cookie! It's X-Middle School-Licious! I'll see you at the intro later today! So longsees!
- Ingrid: ...Intro?
- Ingrid: This. School. Stinks.
(after stink bomb)
- Kid: I was just on my may to class when the hallway started to reek so very badly...
- Fillmore: Some room! I practically spent my first two months of school here... 'Til that is, my former partner Wayne drafted me out of delinquency and into the safety patrol. You're lying, Ingrid. You didn't do it, and I can prove it.
- Ingrid: So what? Listen. They're gonna expell me, and I want out. Why would I wanna stay here?
- Fillmore: I have an ATM tape that proves you weren't anywhere near the school when the stink bomb went off!
- Ingrid: And I have an eggplant that looks like Fred Durst! Did you hear me? I don't care. I just wanna forget you people!
- Fillmore: Don't say "you people"! Because THIS person's been out there, busting his tail trying to clear YOUR name. And what do I get in return? a messed up eggplant. (Ingrid smiles) Well, what's that?! Joan of Arc cracked a smile! Ingrid, you didn't do it. Don't take the fall because of a hundred fools who want easy answers! You got a friend at X, me.
- Ingrid: ...You know. I was thinking, if one person other than the Welcome Wagon Girl is the least bit nice to me by two o' clock? I wouldn't confess to doing something I didn't do.
- Fillmore: I would've been here earlier, but... I was busy trying to clear a friend's name. Cornelius Fillmore.
- Ingrid: Ingrid Third.
- Fillmore: Are you reading those files?
- Ingrid: Yeah, photographic memory... This school, you got kids with slingshots, baseball card sharks, test paper peddlers... But you don't have any rebels.
- Fillmore: That's why you've gotta stick around.
- Lenny: By Don King's hair, that's her!
- Ingrid: How dare you bring a "Dancey Lads" pin into my house!
- Fillmore: Locked!... Where did you learn how to pick-
- Ingrid: You know how my records list that I spent a year in Nepal? They didn't say that I was at a reform school. What? I didn't think it was pertinent to your investigation.
- Fillmore: What were you in for?
- Ingrid: A number of things... Including an incident with a stink bomb and a piñata.
- Fillmore: You're right. It wasn't pertinent.
A Cold Day at X [1.09]Edit
Masterstroke of Malevolence [1.10]Edit
- Mrs. Lawson: Book her, Cornelius!
- Fillmore: A tripod couldn't represent like you just did, O'Farrell. Remember that.
Two Wheels, Full Throttle, No Breaks [1.11]Edit
- B.A.G.A.S.T. Member: The corn! It all looks the same!
- Howie: I SAY! That LASS is STEALING my SCOOT-AH!
- Vallejo: Uh...Fillmore...please tell me that's not my bike.
- Fillmore: It doesn't work that way, Minna. There aren't enough brief yet effective hunger strikes in the world to justify what you've done. You're a criminal.
- Derek Minna: Yeah? So are you. (Jumps from the branch to the rooftop and has his escape routes cut off by Ingrid, then O'Farrell and Tehama)
- Fillmore: (Lands on the roof) No. I'm a safety patroller, and I'm bringing you down.
Of Slain Kings on Checkered Fields [1.12]Edit
- Girl: If loving Checkmatey is a crime, then I plead guilty in the first degree!
- Checkmatey: Yeah! Checkmatey's in the house!
- Joyce: I am the one who will leave you defeated, silent, listening to the lamentations of your kin!
- Danny: (About the giant mustard and ketchup ball) Help! It's Alive! Help!
- Checkmatey: Who drew these? (Drawing of fire-breathing cat)
- Ingrid: My sister.
- Checkmatey: She look like you?
- Ingrid: Taller.
- Checkmatey: But not prettier, because you are fine like the sunshine, and I...
- (Ingrid twists Checkmatey's arm)
A Forgotten Yesterday [1.13]Edit
- Sonny Lombard: He was a strait-up ghost. He could go anywhere, steal anything.
The Currency of Doubt [2.01]Edit
- Ingrid: Did you catch that vibe?
- Fillmore: The nasty food vibe?
- Ingrid: Not just nasty food, nasty British food.
- Ingrid: Stay back, this won't be pretty. I'm putting on my cute face.
- Fillmore: Oh, snap!
- Fillmore:You sure took one for the team, Ingrid.
The Shreds Fell Like Snowflakes [2.02]Edit
- Lorenzo: (curled up in fetal position) Ay mamacita! Ay mamacita! Ay mamacita!
- Cheri: Your mama sat on what? En Englais, por favor!
- Vallejo: (about Frank's profiling skills) He was the best - just by looking at his shoe print he could tell you what the perp had for breakfast!
- Principal Folsom: Let's see, things I'd like to see shredded...beef for loose meat sandwiches, any paperwork documenting my weight or age, oh, and one other thing, YOUR BADGE IF I DON'T SEE RESULTS!
- Tehama: Okay. What the heck is that?
- Fillmore: Uh, no offence, Danny, but that kinda looks like Tiger Woods on a very bad morning.
- Ingrid: (squinting) Oh yeah, and that's his elbow...at least, I hope that's his elbow...
Foes Don't Forgive [2.03]Edit
South of Friendship, North of Honor [2.04]Edit
Immune to All but Justice [2.05]Edit
- Vallejo: We may not be able to officially bust you, but if you cause any more trouble in this school, the entire Safety Patrol is going to turn your life into a nightmare from which you will never wake. Am I making myself clear?
- Winston Cotter: ...yes, sir.
The Nineteenth Hole is a Shallow Grave [2.06]Edit
Links in a Chain of Honor [2.07]Edit
- Ingrid Third: Oh, didn't realize I was dealing with tortured Fillmore today. Sorry.
The Unseen Reflection [2.08]Edit
- O'Farrell: I'm only through book eight. I didn't even get a chance to become disillusioned.
- Vallejo: FILLMORE! Why did I get a bill from the art lab for 10 plastic chairs, 8 wooden easels, a velvet couche, AND A SPEAR?!
- Fillmore: (chuckles nervously) They don't make 'em like they used to?
- Vallejo: (chuckles sarcastically) Cut the chuckles!
- Trace: Daylight kills vamps, and that's with the ozone layer. I mean, a vampire astronaut in space? Hello? What about the sun?
- Ingrid: Trace and TQ working in tandem tried to trash Torrie and Terri's attempts to take the trophy together.
(Fillmore is bringing in a mime, and Vallejo bursts out of his office)
- Vallejo: Fillmore! Why did I receive a bill for 68 trashed monster novels and a zombie standee?!
- Fillmore: Relax, Vallejo. Mimey here has offered to put on a show, and donate the proceeds to pay for the damages.
(The mime starts to nod, and performs being trapped in a box, when Fillmore's walkie talkie goes off.)
- Ingrid: (over walkie) Fillmore, I need help. I'm tracking a perp on foot. He's stolen a ten foot ladder, and he's heading for the ceramics club.
- Vallejo: (looking terrified) Ceramics club? Ten foot ladder?!
- Fillmore: (to Ingrid) On my way. (to Vallejo) Sorry, bro, duty calls.
- Vallejo: (still looking terrified, with the mime mimicking him) Wait, uh, Fillmore... Maybe we should...
- Fillmore: You know, Vallejo, you worry too much. When I get back, I got a tea that just might fix that. (Runs off)
- Vallejo: (with the mime STILL mimicking him) FILLMORE! (Vallejo stares off into space, while the mime continues acting) Stop that. (The mime pauses, then stands upright)
Codename: Electric Haircut[2.9]Edit
Play On, Maestro, Play On[2.10]Edit
- Ingrid: X Middle School Safety Patrol, hold your horseshoes!
- Principal Folsom: I need these clever headlines to stop!
A Dark Score Evened [2.11]Edit
- Danny O'Farrel: (talking about Fiona's fashion list) She always puts me down on the "worst dressed list." I don't know why.
- (He stands up wearing a kilt, out-of-date shoes, and a pair of novelty, over-sized sunglasses)
- Becca: (on the fashion display) ...They're man-capris. You know, to go with the man-halter.
- Danny O'Farrel: It's clean. The girl's bathroom is clean! Why is the boy's room such a pit?! It smells like lavender in here. I love lavender!
- Horace: I'm not a bully! I'm a computer geek!
Field Trip of the Just[2.12]Edit
- O'Farrell: Polly want to confess what you saw between 10:26 and 10:31 this morning? Huh? Do you, Polly?
- Fillmore: Dog!
- Man: It's a horse! A seeing eye horse!
This Saviour, A Snitch [2.13]Edit
- Reporter: (after Fillmore has broken a macaroni statue) Wow, he really hates macaroni.