ER (1994–2009) is a long running medical drama that follows the lives of doctors and nurses in a Chicago emergency room.
24 Hours [1.1]Edit
- Benton: Do you know how to start an IV?
- Carter: Uh, actually, no.
- Benton: I thought you were third year.
- Carter: I am, but all I've done is dermatology and psychiatry.
- Benton: The well-dressed specialties, huh?
- Mark: See, there's two kinds of doctors. The kind that gets rid of their feelings. And the kind that keeps them. If you're going to keep your feelings, you're going to get sick from time to time. That's just how it works.
- Mark: …by the way, I went to medical school with Dr. Benton. He used to get sick all the time. So, don't let him give you any crap. You'll be fine.
- Ross: (to the mother of a battered baby) How dare you treat your child like this? He's a little kid! I try to be understanding in my job, but lady, this just stinks.
- Susan: Mr. Parker, if there's one thing you learn in my job, it's that nothing is certain. Nothing that seems very bad and nothing that seems very good. Nothing is certain. Nothing.
- Benton: (having first spotted Carter) Oh, no! Would you look at this?
- Mark: That's the first tailored white coat I've ever seen.
- Benton: Isn't he lovely?
- Susan: Lovely.
- Mark: Do you think he knows anything?
- Ross: He knows how to dress.
- Patient: Are you married?
- Susan: No, I'm a doctor.
- Dr. Morgenstern: The unit's looking to you, Mark. You set the tone.
Day One [1.2]Edit
- Benton: [Carter memorizes and gives him a H&P on a patient] Mother's maiden name?
[Carter looks at notes]
- Haleh: He's kidding.
- Mark: [about Carol's suicide attempt] It's not your fault, Doug. You're going to have to forgive yourself sooner or later.
- Doug: I thought you were some kind of saint. I was going to start calling you Mahatma.
Going Home [1.3]Edit
- [Earlier in the show, Carol attempted suicide by overdosing on barbituates.]
- Carol: I'm here to unload that new shipment of barbituates.
- Jerry: At least you didn't kill off your sense of humor.
- Carol: No, just a few brain cells.
Hit and Run [1.4]Edit
- Carter: You ever get used to this?
- Benton: Used to what?
- Carter: Going on three hours sleep.
- Benton: Anything more than three hours and I'm sluggish all day.
- Mark: I was embraced by two men today. I find that highly unusual.
- Susan: Some guys have all the luck.
- Walt: [to Benton] No, don't hand me that OR crap, already know how important your job is compared to the small events of my life.
Into that Good Night [1.5]Edit
- Sam: How's your heart?
- Mark: Pretty good shape.
- Sam: Want to lend it to me for the weekend? Naw. You got better things to do with it. Do 'em all. You never know when you'll get the chance.
- Carter: What's he doing?
- Susan: Practicing one-handed knots. He'd do it with his teeth if he could.
- Benton: No I wouldn't. You can't wear a glove on your teeth.
- Sarah: My mom says my dad's gonna die.
- Mark: Yes, he is.
- Sarah: Why can't you fix him?
- Mark: We can't fix everything.
- Susan: At your age Ryan Sandberg was retired.
- Doug: At my age Mozart was dead.
Chicago Heat [1.6]Edit
- Mark: Jerry, if this guy's still here in the morning, why don't we get some shovels and bury him in the parking lot.
- Rachel: Did you make him all better?
- Benton: Who?
- Rachel: The boy in the green room.
- Benton: [to Mark] The gunshot victim.
- Mark: They tried really hard, Rachel. But he died.
- Rachel: Will his mommy be sad?
- Mark: Very sad.
- Rachel: [to Benton] Are you sad?
- Benton: Yeah.
- Rachel: If you're sad, why aren't you crying?
- [Benton kneels beside Rachel.]
- Benton: I am. [touches Rachel's heart.] Right here.
- Rachel: If I got hurt, would you fix me?
- Mark: Yes, I would.
- Rachel: You wouldn't let me die?
- Rachel: My daddy's your doctor.
- Kanesha: He helped me be better.
- Rachel: [whispers] That's what doctors do.
- [A car has slammed through the ER doors.]
- Doug: Jerry, call security. Somebody's in my parking space.
Another Perfect Day [1.7]Edit
- Mark: We're going to have to do a lumbar puncture. You ever done one?
- Carter: Uh no, but I've seen it done.
- Mark: See One, Do One, Teach One.
9 1/2 Hours [1.8]Edit
- Mae Benton : Carter? You got people in Tennessee?
- Carter: On my father's side.
- Mae Benton : I think his people owned our people.
ER Confidential [1.9]Edit
- Doug: I'm not a grownup doctor.
- Lydia: We all know that, but everyone else's busy.
- [Carol is pushing a biker in a wheelchair.]
- Carol: You know what we call motorcycles around here, Ace?
- Patient: No. What?
- Carol: Donor-cycles.
- Patient: [laughs] Donor-cycles. I like that.
- Carol: You would.
- Morgenstern: How are we doing?
- Doug: One step ahead of the Reaper.
- Morgenstern: Thats all you can ask for.
The Gift [1.11]Edit
- Carter: Oh God, I killed Santa.
- Doug: [to Carol] Tell him that you don't love me. Tell him that you don't think about me when you're with him.
Happy New Years [1.12]Edit
- Hicks: When I was a resident, I was always worried about getting people's approval, the attendings', the patients', maybe because I was a woman, a black woman. Life was a lot easier once I got over it. Don't let the patients get to you, Dr. Lewis. We treat them as soon as we can and there's no need to apologize for how long it takes. We are a busy hospital, not a restaurant.
Luck of the Draw [1.13]Edit
- [Deb Chen is performing a rectal.]
- Carter: How's it going in there, Deb?
- Chen: I'm stuck.
- Carter: Deb?
- Chen: Yes?
- Carter: Did you use a lubricant?
- Chen: Was I supposed to?
- Morgenstern: That's what I love about you, Peter: Naked ambition tempered by arrogance.
- Haleh: [discussing Deb's examination of an unconscious Carter] The term isn't average male genitalia, it's normal male genitalia.
- Doug: [talking about Linda Farrell] Serious? Our longest phone conversation is "Get over here."
Long Day's Journey [1.14]Edit
February Fifth, 1995 [1.15]Edit
- Carter: You ever put in a foley?
- [Deb shakes her head.]
- Carter: You're in for a treat.
- Mark: [in a noisy helicopter] Hell of a life isn't it?
- Paramedic: What?
- Mark: Its a hell of a life.
- [The paramedic points to his ear.]
- Mark: I said, I want to have sex with your wife.
- [The paramedic gives a thumbs up.]
Make of Two Hearts [1.16]Edit
The Birthday Party [1.17]Edit
Sleepless in Chicago [1.18]Edit
Love's Labor Lost [1.19]Edit
Mark: How do I deliver this baby?
Susan: Are you asking me?
Mark: No, I'm asking God.
Full Moon, Saturday Night [1.20]Edit
House of Cards [1.21]Edit
Men Plan, God Laughs [1.22]Edit
Love Among the Ruins [1.23]Edit
Jerry: I'm going to play Romeo.
Lydia: Comic version?
Haleh walks over with two guys, one had an orange and the other had an apple stuffed into their mouths.
Haleh: Apparently this one did it on a dare, when the paramedics asked what happened this one reenacted the crime.
Jerry: Do we have names?
Haleh: Yeah dumb, and dumber.
Everything Old is New Again [1.25]Edit
Welcome Back, Carter! [2.01]Edit
- Dr. Benton (to Carter)': What do you know about the arteries in the neck?
- Carter: Uh, there's a lot of them?
- Carter (after he gives Doug a small idol statue): Dr. Ross, a little taste of the islands.
- Doug: Carter, you shouldn't have.
- Carter: It's Wondoa. He's the god of fertility.
- Carol: Just what you need, Doug.
- Dr. Benton (to Carter): Just take a deep breath alright. Need you to stay on your feet here. He's totally dry trendelenburg.
- Carter: I think I'm going to be sick.
- Dr. Benton: No you're not. Internal CPR.
- Carol: Defibrillating.
- Dr. Benton: Dam it. 25 clear.
- Chuney: Got a beep, nope it's gone.
- Dr. Benton: 50 clear.
- Chuney: Asystole.
- Carol: Well that helped a lot.
- Malik: Smells kind of like a BBQ in here.
- Carter: Oh god. (passes out)
- Malik: Ha, ha, welcome back Carter.
Summer Run [2.02]Edit
- Shep: (to Carol) Welcome to hell.
- Dr. Benton: Carter, do I look like your father?
- Carter: No. Actually, not at all.
- Kerry: Carol!
- Carol: Oh! You scared me.
- Kerry: Yeah, I do that to a lot of people.
Do One, Teach One, Kill One [2.03]Edit
- Doug: What can I say about Mark Greene that hasn't already been said? I think everybody knows how he overcame adversity as a child of Quakers, his years in exile, his political writings and limericks, his mod period with the turtlenecks, his blue period and of course, his ruthless march to power and the silencing of his rivals.
- Haleh (to Wendy): I've known Mark Greene since he was a wet-behind-the-ears med student. He had the most beautiful curly blond hair, and so polite. All I'd do was ask and he would be cleaning the bedpans and changing the sheets. He was the best scut-puppy I ever had.
- Wendy: So would you say that, back then, he was sort of "green"?
- Haleh: No, Wendy, I would never say that.
- Shep (to Carol): You know what your problem is, Hathaway? You've been going out with too many doctors.
What Life? [2.04]Edit
- Dr. Hicks: (to Dr Benton about Carter) Any words of wisdom for your student before he staples his first stomach or have you done one of these before?
- Dr. Benton: No, no... I haven't.
And Baby Makes Two [2.05]Edit
- Harper (to Doug): What do you do after a day like today?
- Doug: I tend to drink, but I'm not the best role model.
- Jerry: On that note, I bid you all a fond good eve. It has been a wonderful Weaver-less day.
- Randi (to Lydia): Is he single?
- Lydia: Yeah.
Days Like This [2.06]Edit
- Carter: (to Harper) Benton is in the foulest mood I have ever seen. And that's saying something.
Hell and High Water [2.07]Edit
- Mark (to Doug): Did you get the job?
- Doug: 90 grand a year and nobody dies. Hallelujah, auf Wiedersehen, I'll see you around.
- Mark (about Doom II, the game the ER staff is playing at the admit desk): I've done thoracotomies that were less bloody.
- Jerry (to Carol): He just dosen't understand the educational value.
- Shep: Pills are for people that don't really mean it.
- Carol: I really meant it.
- Shep: Yeah, right.
- Mark (to Doug): So you can't take the fact that I'm your boss?
- Doug: Typically narcissistic of you, Mark. I can't take the fact that anyone's my boss.
- Dr. Vucelich: I think that's a hickey you have on your neck, Carter.
- Carter: Yep, yep...
A Miracle Happens Here [2.10]Edit
- [Carol is trying to convince everyone in the ER to go upstairs and join her in caroling for recovery, with no luck.]
- Carol: Well, you just mouth the words. That’s what I do.
- Susan: Well who sings?.....
- Carol: Well I’m working on that. [Carter walks by. Carol smiles, pleasently] Carter!-
- Carter: No, no, no, no. Chronic tonedeaf and acute stage fright.
- [Carol is alone in recovery now, caroling without any other ER docs- horribly.]
- Carol: On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....uhhh....
- [All the other ER docs enter surprisingly and start singing.]
- Doug: 12 tonedeaf doctors.
- Mark: 11 lords a lording.
- Susan: 10 drummers drumming.
- Carter: 9 something something.
- Lydia: 8 maids a milking.
- Malik: 7 swans a swatting.
- Harper: 6 geese a gagging.
- Everyone: 5 golden rings! 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree!
Dead of Winter [2.11]Edit
True Lies [2.12]Edit
- Carol (to Doug): Guess who's in the suture room? Come on, guess.
- Doug: We don't wanna guess.
- Carol: He's wearing a Catholic girl's outfit. Plaid skirt, ballet slippers, frilly blouse. David Morganstern ring a bell?
- Doug: Our David Morganstern?
- Carol: Knee socks, too.
- Susan: Somebody get a camera!
- Susan (to Mark): Do you have anything to eat?
- Mark: I think there's some Haggis left over.
- Susan: What's that?
- Mark: Don't ask...
It's Not Easy Being Greene [2.13]Edit
- Doug (to Mark): What are you doing here on your day off?
- Mark: I went for a jog and ended up here, and I figured I might as well save some lives.
- Doug: One other good reason not to exercise.
- Mark (to Susan): Denial is a funny thing; it keeps you from asking the tough questions.
- Susan: What questions are those?
- Mark: Am I dangerous? Should I be practicing medicine?
- Susan: And the answers are: no and yes, in that order.
- Mark: I hope so. I lost my family for this job.
The Right Thing [2.14]Edit
- Carter: Mr. Rubadoux, I'm very sorry about your wife. I made a mistake. Not in the way I treated her, but in the way I treated you. I wasn't honest, wasn't fair. I was wrong and I am very, very sorry.
- Mr. Rubadoux: This day isn't about you, Mr. Carter.
- Susan: (to Carter) You know, when you first got here, we were a little concerned about you. You seemed to care too much. We're not worried about that anymore. What happened to you, Carter?
Baby Shower [2.15]Edit
- Conni: I feel like a damn elephant.
- Doug: An elephant's gestation period is two years.
- Conni: Oh, shut your mouth.
- Jerry: Chuny, you were on yesterday. Tell Dr. Ross Scottie Pippen was in here.
- Chuny: Oh, yeah and so were Jordan and Rodman. Jerry and Conni and I beat them three-on-three.
The Healers [2.16]Edit
- Doug (to his dad): I was standing there, Ray. It was 7:30, and you were supposed to be there. I was standing there. Where were you? You were exactly where you have always been your entire life: someplace else!
- Doug: Randi, you meet a cute guy for the first time. What do you do?
- Randi: Run a credit check.
The Match Game [2.17]Edit
- Susan (to Mark): Wait a minute! I thought your eyes were brown.
- Mark: For an extra 15 bucks, they can be blue.
A Shift in the Night [2.18]Edit
- Mark: So, Carter, you having fun paying your penance in the ER?
- Carter: Ha. I'm off Surgical Service. I'm working nights in the ER. What's not to be happy about? Still, it is better than not graduating. I thought Dr. Hicks might suspend me.
- Mark: Believe me, she would if she could.
- Carter: I can't believe I was that stupid, sneaking off and drinking on call.
- Mark: I can. You're a medical student.
- Jerry (about Mark): Do you think he's lost his grip on reality?
- Carol: No, I think he's having fun.
Fire in the Belly [2.19]Edit
- 'Dr. Hicks (to Carter): Congratulations, Mr. Carter, on your first toothpick-ectomy.
Fevers of Unknown Origin [2.20]Edit
- Randi: I don't believe in divorce.
- Mark: I always suspected you were an old fashioned girl.
- Randi: I don't believe in marriage either.
Take These Broken Wings [2.21]Edit
- [Kerry agrees to go with Mark’s recommendations for Susan for chief resident only if Mark agrees to go with Kerry for the attending position.]
- Kerry: So you really think Susan Lewis would make a good chief resident?
- Mark: Yes, I do. [Kerry leaves]
- Conni: What was that about?
- Mark: I think I just sold my soul to the devil
- Susan: I always knew you loved your children. I just never realized how much you fell in love with them. Little Susie was like a storybook, one you never wanted to put down. Every smile was some new page to be poured over, studied, touched, remembered. I loved my storybook. For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel alone.
John Carter, M.D. [2.22]Edit
- Lydia (to Carter): What do you call the person that finishes last in med school?
- Carter: What?
- Lydia: Doctor.
- Dr. Benton: Look, Carter, you were my assigned med student. I was your assigned resident. You don't owe me anything, okay?
- Dr. Benton: Now you're the doctor. You graduated, right?
- Carter: Yeah, that's right, I am. It's kind of weird. I... don't know any more than I knew this morning. I really wanted to graduate, too. Well... Anyway...
- Dr. Benton: You take care of yourself, Carter.
Dr. Carter, I Presume [3.01]Edit
- Carter: Somebody call a doctor!
- Carol: You are the doctor.
- Dr. Melvoin (to the interns): You are wedges. The wedge is the most primative tool known to man. That is you. You think you know what you're doing? Believe me, you don't. Breakfast with your senior surgical resident, Dr. Benton, begins in 15 minutes. Dr. Benton is an intern's worst nightmare. He's smarter than you, he never eats, never sleeps, and he reads every medical journal no matter how obscure. He is the Antichrist, Beelzebub, Lucifer, a devourer of wedges. You'll go to sleep at night wishing plague and pestilence on his unborn children, and you will wake up every morning praying for his approval. You won't get it. Welcome to hell, ladies and gentlemen.
Let the Games Begin [3.02]Edit
- Dr. Benton (to Haleh): Where's Carter?
- Haleh: Do I look like his mother?
- Susan (to Carol): Do you even know how to drive a motorcycle?
- Carol: It's just like a big moped, right?
- Susan: I guess...
Don't Ask, Don't Tell [3.03]Edit
- Dr. Benton (to Gant): What makes you think you can attend a surgery behind my back?
- Gant: Simon needed an intern.
- Dr. Benton: I'm your resident. You don't blink without asking me.
- Jeanie (to Dr. Benton): I need to know if you're planning to tell anyone that I'm positive.
- Dr. Benton: No, I'm not. Jeanie, look, I don't agree with what you're doing, but how you handle your patients, that's your responsibility.
- Jeanie: Thank you.
- Dr. Benton: But I want you to stay away from my patients and I don't want to be in a trauma room with you.
- Gant (to Carter): So, do you always vomit when you screw up?
- Carter: Only when I get written up by the Chief of Staff.
- Gant: Benton's no Mr. Rogers.
- Dr. Benton: It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood boys and girls.
Last Call [3.04]Edit
- Mark: I've given it a lot of thought, and I've decided to be spontaneous.
- Carol: Mark, Doug lives his own life.
- Mark: That's kind of the problem.
- Carol: I'm just saying we can't live it for him.
- Jeanie: (to Al) A man came in today. He sat there and watched his wife die, and he helped her to die, because she was in so much pain, and he loved her. (gets angry) But we didn't have that kind of marriage, did we, Al. We didn't love, we didn't cherish, we didn't respect and now you've killed me!
- Doug (to Carol): You know what? I'm not going to say anything about that physics book.
- Carol: Oh, God, it was probably a stupid idea anyway.
- Doug: Hey, if that's what you want to do... If I can make it, anyone can.
- Carol: Thanks.
- Gant (to Carter): Benton hates my guts.
- Carter: No, I think he likes you. He just has difficulty showing it.
Fear of Flying [3.06]Edit
- Gant (to Dr. Benton): We're all human. We all make mistakes.
- Dr. Benton: Any other words of wisdom, Gant?
- Gant: You're a real prick, you know that?
- Mark (to Susan): What are you doing?
- Susan: Hyperventilating. Leave me alone!
No Brain, No Gain [3.07]Edit
- Carol (to Mark about him & Susan): I wish you guys would just get married.
- Mark: What?
- Carol: You're perfect for each other. You almost went on a vacation together.
- Mark: You knew about that?
- Carol: Mark, everybody knew about that.
- Dr. Keaton (to Carter after he fought with Dale): Medicine is supposed to be a noble profession, not a motorcycle club. Why were you fighting?
Union Station [3.08]Edit
- [Susan is moving to Arizona, and Mark is seeing her off]
- Susan: [As her train begins to pull away] I do love you!
- Mark: What?
- Susan: I love you... bye!
Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies [3.09]Edit
- Carol: Have you seen Mark? Is he okay?
- Doug: Put it this way, he called a staff meeting.
- Carol: Mark Greene?
- Doug: Yep.
- Carol: Glasses? Receding hair line? Broken heart?
- Doug: That's the one.
Homeless For the Holidays [3.10]Edit
- Carol: (to Jeanie) I swallowed a bunch of pills a few years ago. When I got back to work, people either smothered me with kindness or treated me like I was invisible. If we aren't friends, maybe we should be.
- Kerry: We're talking policy here, people. "Employee X" could be any one of us.
- Jeanie: Excuse me. Just would everyone stop calling me "Employee X"? I am HIV-positive.
- Maggie Doyle: (to Jeanie after she puts a star on top of the ER's Christmas tree): It looks good. Where'd you get it?
- Jeanie: My ex-husband brought it by. It came off our first Christmas tree.
- Maggie Doyle: That's an heirloom. You should put it on your family tree.
- Jeanie: (with a smile) I just did.
Night Shift [3.11]Edit
- Carter (to Gant): Benton was out of line.
- Gant: Was he?
- Carter: Way out of line.
- Gant: I felt like punching out the bastard.
- Carter: That would have been unwise.
- Dr. Benton (to Dr. Keaton): I came by to see if you'd reconsider writing me a recommendation. I mean, you've always complimented my surgical skills and with a recommendation, I could get another Pediatric rotation.
- Dr. Keaton: And if I don't?
- Dr. Benton: What do you mean if you don't?
- Dr. Keaton: Will you report my relationship with Dr. Carter?
- Dr. Benton: You think I'm threatening you?
- Dr. Keaton: Are you?
- Dr. Benton: Dr. Keaton, if your recommendation isn't based on my abilities as a doctor, I don't want it.
- (When the doctors are saving a man who was hit by the El train and his beeper goes off)
- Malik: Whose beeper is that?
- Dr. Benton: It's coming from the patient.
- Malik: (looking at the beeper) Lydia, what number did you page Gant to?
- Lydia: This room, 3376.
- Malik: That's the number on this pager.
- Maggie Doyle: Oh, my God.
- Carter: What?
- Maggie Doyle: The patient! It's Gant!
- Carter: Oh, sweet Jesus.
Post Mortem [3.12]Edit
- Dr. Doug Ross: How's your head? Any confusion?
- Charlie Chiemingo: Yeah. What year is it? December '95, according to this hot magazine you gave me. Did you know that Michael and Lisa Marie are splitting up?
- Carter: (to Benton) All he [Gant] ever got from you was harping and criticism. Now he's dead and you're going to have to face it.
- Mark: So, should I be looking over my shoulder for your father with a shotgun?
- Chuny: No, my brother Julio. He packs a .45.
Fortune's Fools [3.13]Edit
- Carol: I killed a man and no one around here seems to give a damn.
- Kerry (to the interns): Most interns send their samples to the lab without knowing what happens once they're there. Let's pretend that we're a urine sample and find out.
Whose Appy Now? [3.14]Edit
- Carter (after seeing that Dr. Benton needs an appendectomy): Whoa! Ho, ho, ho, ho... There is a God!
- Doug (to Mark): How did you end up going out with two women on the same night?
- Mark: Scheduling mix-up. Any suggestions?
- Doug: Dinner with one, drinks with the other.
- Mark: Yeah... I think they're both expecting the works.
- Doug: Who do you like more?
- Mark: Well, Heather's a lot of fun.
- Doug: Fun's good.
- 'Mark: Polly, she's... she's very spiritual.
- Doug: Spiritual like what? Like, like crystals or something?
- Mark: Heather's got Bulls tickets.
- Doug: Bulls! Say no more.
- Mark: Yeah, you're right. I'll call Polly. I'll make up an excuse and go out with her tomorrow night.
- Doug: You're playing with fire here.
- Mark: I can juggle.
- Doug: You're gonna get burnt. Women can smell deceit.
- Mark: You ought to know.
- Doug: Those days are long gone, my friend.
- Mark: So, what do you do now?
- Doug: Give advice.
- Chuny (to Mark): I thought you had a date.
- Mark: Canceled.
- Chuny: They busted you?
- Mark: They busted me.
- Chuny: Men are so stupid. How many women were you dating when you were with me?
- Mark: Just you.
- Chuny: Really?
- Mark: Yeah, you know, except for that night when my neighbor, the ballerina, broke up with her boyfriend. You know, I had to comfort her.
- Chuny: Yeah, so that was like a public service.
- Mark: Yeah. Other than that, I was totally faithful.
- Chuny: Oh, I feel blessed.
The Long Way Around [3.15]Edit
- Robert (as he runs by): Morning, Leon! Morning, Miss Hathaway!
- Leon: Slow down there, Robert!
- Nurse Carol Hathaway: I hate that he calls me "Miss Hathaway."
- Leon: Yeah, it's a real crime when kids show that kind of respect.
- Kerry (to Carol): We've missed you around here.
- Carol: I've missed it, too. I love my job, Kerry.
- Kerry: I know.
- Carol: Doug, I know everyone is worried about me, but I'm fine. I was scared in that store, but I'm okay now.
- Doug: So why did you go ahead and take it?
- Carol: The MCATs? For me. I just wanted to see if I was good enough.
- Doug: You are.
- Dr. Benton: (to Dr. Hicks) Six months ago I thought I was invincible, but now... I don't even know.
- Mark (to Haleh): When Kenny Law came in, do you think I made racist assumptions?
- Haleh: Black folk see the world one way, white folk see it another.
- Mark: All white people?
- Haleh: When something happens, you say it's got nothing to do with race, but for us, it's always got to do with race.
- Mark: Malik, can you join me?
- Malik: What for?
- Mark: Kenny Law died. I have to tell his family.
- Malik: If you're scared, you should call Security. I'm a nurse.
You Bet Your Life [3.18]Edit
- Doug (to Carol): You can get through my door.
- Carol: Anybody with a bra can get through your door.
- Kerry: (to Jerry) Your IQ's not 150. Mine's only 145.
- Jerry: What am I supposed to do? Apologize because I'm smarter than you?
- Doug (to Carol): You do things for people that doctors don't even think about doing.
- Maggie Doyle: Carol? This guy in the hall needs a clean-up. He just did a major Code Brown.
- Carol: You're right. I wipe butts.
Calling Dr. Hathaway [3.19]Edit
- Kerry: Carol, if you're going to be a med student, you've got to stop thinking like a nurse.
- Carol: Well, I'm not a med student yet.
- Carter (to Maggie): Surgeons don't rat on each other. It's like the Marines, "all for one, and one for all."
- Maggie Doyle: That's the three musketeers.
- Chuny (to Carol): I thought Weaver was already fitting you for a lab coat.
- Carol: Yeah, well, white adds ten pounds. I think I'll stick to pink.
Random Acts [3.20]Edit
- Chris Law (to Mark): If my mother gets another bill from this hospital, maybe I'm gonna kick some ass. Maybe I'll start with yours.
- Carol (while reading a story that was found under the desk): "Witchcraft attracted her as a child when Zulu tribesmen on her father's game preserve tried sorcery to heal her shriveled leg."
- Jerry: Oh, Weaver's in it?
Make a Wish [3.21]Edit
- Carol: Doug, you promised me you wouldn't tell anybody about my birthday.
- Doug: Aah, that was last year.
- Carol: Yeah and you told everyone then, too.
- Doug: At least I'm consistent.
- Kerry (to Mark) We know that everyday some child won't make it home from school, some father won't make it home from work, but if we allowed ourselves to think that could be us, we couldn't walk out our front door.
- Carol (to Doug about E. Ray): He is so strange. Where did we find him?
One More For the Road [3.22]Edit
- Carter (to Dr. Anspaugh): I've been contemplating leaving the surgical program. I've been considering it for quite some time, and I feel that I've made an error in selecting surgery as my specialty. For the most part, the training has been excellent, but I just feel that ultimately I don't belong in surgery and I would suspect that you would agree with me.
- Dr. Anspaugh: I certainly do not!
- Carter: You don't?
- Dr. Anspaugh: You entered into a contract, doctor. A contract with this institution. We agreed to give you the finest surgical training in exchange for 6 years of your best effort.
- Carter: I understand, but I think....
- Dr. Anspaugh: I do not give a damn what you think! This is not summer camp. You can't just run home to mommy. You're going to suck it up and stick to it! That's what men do. Are we communicating here?
- Carter: Yeah.
- Dr. Anspaugh: Good! And if I ever hear this crap coming out of your mouth again, the only medicine you'll be practicing is picking out a cough suppressant for yourself down at the Jewel.
- Dr. Anspaugh: Dr. Carter...
- Carter: Uh... I'm not coming.
- Dr. Anspaugh: You're what?
- Carter: I have a patient who needs my attention.
- Dr. Anspaugh: Rounds are a pre-requisite for this program, Doctor.
- Carter: So is patient care.
- Dr. Anspaugh: You come to rounds today or don't ever come to rounds again.
- Carter: I'll be there if and when I can!
- Carter: (to Dr. Anspaugh) I can be a competent surgeon. I can learn the techniques, the mechanics, but I'll never be a great surgeon. Dr. Anspaugh, I can be a great doctor; a doctor who spends time with his patients, who's there for them. I'm good at it. Really good.
- Carol: [to documentary film crew] You know, actually it's a myth about doctors and nurses dating so much. I mean, I know more nurses who date cops, firemen, paramedics. Now that cliche is true.
- Conni: Especially cops.
- Chuny: Especially young cops.
- Kerry: [to documentary film crew] Sometimes I hesitate with a family before I give the news. I know I'm going to say something that will change their lives forever.
- Carol: You think that if you don't say it it'll be okay for a little while longer.
- Doug: I told this one mother that her son had been killed, and she said 'is it broken?' I'm looking at her, I don't know what she's saying. I'm just staring at her. So she said, 'his arm, is it broken? He's pitching tomorrow.' She just walked away.
- Kerry: Did you just let her leave like that?
- Doug: No, no. I called Carol and had her take care of it. [looks at camera] That's a true story.
[Doug and Carol talking to each other]
- Director: Stewart, stay with them on their mic.
[Doug and Carol continue to talk]
- Doug: [Looking at the camera] Look at him, I bet he wishes he can read lips.
- Carol: [Laughs]
- Doug: Hi there dumb ass!
[Doug and Carol laugh]
- Carol: Doug, he's waving.
- Doug: You gotta mic?
- Carol: [Gasp] Oh my god, do you think he can hear me?!
- Doug: Turn it off.
[Doug and Carol both walk away]
Something New [4.2]Edit
- Doug: Ketchup or Tabasco? On your scrambled eggs. Do you want something some people consider a vegetable or do you want to go with something a little more daring? You thought I left, didn't you?
- Carol: No, I didn't.
- Doug: Yes, you did.
- Carol: No, really, I didn't. Okay, I did. But you kind of did leave technically.
- Doug: Well that doesn't count. If you had gotten up a little earlier you would have seen me here sound asleep.
- Carol: Some habits die hard.
- Doug: You sleeping in.
- Carol: Like you not being here in the morning.
- Doug: That's an old habit!
- Doug: I've got to talk to you about something
- Carol: Oh, Doug. Not another serious conversation.
- Doug: You used to say we didn't communicate, so --
- Carol: I know, but now you're communicating a little bit too much.
- Doug: I know, but this is important. Can I have a drawer?
- Carol: [laughs] What?
- Doug: A drawer. Something you keep your clothes in. Something that I would keep my clothes in.
- Carol: You never wanted a drawer before.
- Doug: Well, that's because I always got up and left. If I'm going to stay here, I thought about maybe having some place to keep one shirt and a nice pair of socks. I'd settle for underwear.
- Carol: You know, you could always wash your boxers in the sink and drive by in the morning.
- Doug: I love sitting out here on the porch with you. It's --
- Carol: Something new.
- Doug: Something new.
Friendly Fire [4.3]Edit
- Doug: Carol. Hey! I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.
- Carol: I'm busy.
- Doug: I'm just going to follow you around until you hear me out.
- Carol: Why follow me? Why not follow her?
- Doug: If I didn't have to do this secrecy tap dance I could have told her --
- Carol: I think this secrecy thing works just fine.
- Doug: I didn't flirt with her!
- Carol: Oh, no. She asked you out for a drink because she likes the way you hold an ice pack.
- Doug: I told her that I was attached. I didn't say with whom I was attached. I didn't say Carol Hathaway was my --
- Carol: What? I'm your what?
- Doug: Come here. I want to be with you and I want to be here with you because I want to be with you. If you don't trust me then this doesn't work.
- Doug: [is surprised by Carol kissing him] I had prepared a very elaborate argument. Does this mean I don't need it?
- Carol: I already had the argument. With myself.
- Doug: I hope there wasn't any name calling involved.
- Carol: No, it was very civil. You won.
- Doug: Oh, so I do better when I'm not there?
- Carol: [laughs] This time, yeah.
- Doug: So do you trust me?
- Carol: This time.
- Doug: Are you keeping score.
- Carol: Yep. You're ahead.
- Doug: [grins] I'm sorry, what?
When the Bough Breaks [4.4]Edit
- Anna: How did you ever go out with that guy?
- Carol: What guy?
- Anna: Ross. Didn't you used to date him? I mean, if he's that patronizing to me, I can't imagine what he's like with the women he goes out with.
- Carol: He's seen that patient before. Mrs. Landetta is just comfortable with him.
- Anna: Yeah, because he's a man.
- Carol: Well, some people are old fashioned.
- Kerry: Doug has difficultly dealing with strong women.
- Carol: I don't know about that.
- Kerry: If he can't charm or vilify you, he's lost.
- Carol: Now that's not true.
- Mark: Carol, I got that autopsy report on the crack baby. He died in utero two days ago.
- Carol: Well, I guess we're both off the hook.
- Mark: Carol, it wasn't a matter of me believing your or not believing you. I would have been on your side.
- Carol: Well, maybe if you'd been on the patient's side earlier none of this would have happened.
- Mark: What?
- Carol: I checked her chart. That woman had been in here four times in the past seven months. You saw her twice and never once did a pregnancy test.
- Mark: Was there reason to?
- Carol: Evidently, yes.
- Mark: So we're supposed to give pregnancy tests to every female crackhead who comes through the door?
- Carol: That's not what I'm saying.
- Mark: Then what?
- Carol: God forbid this woman ever finds out what her real malpractice suit is. I would back you up. Say there was no reason for a pregnancy test. The fact is, we should have done something.
- Mark: What? What should we have done? We can't help people who can't help themselves.
- Carol: No, Mark, those are exactly the people we should be helping.
Good Touch, Bad Touch [4.5]Edit
- Cynthia: (to Mark) Who peed in your cornflakes?
- Dr. Corday: Peter Benton, Rocket Romano.
- Dr. Romano: Dr. Benton. Hey, Lizzie's talked about you. Tell me something. Do you think Chris Rock is funny?
- Dr. Benton: Excuse me?
- Dr. Romano: The comedian, Chris Rock. He did that HBO special. Must have used the N-word 50 times; N-word this, N-word that. They're calling him a genius. If I went around saying the N-word, you'd probably want to smack the hell out of me. Am I right?
- Dr. Benton: (long pause) I think Chris Rock is hilarious. (walks away)
- Dr. Romano: (calling after him) Good to meet you!
- Dr. Corday: Have a good night!
- Dr. Romano: (to Dr. Corday) You're right. I like him.
Ground Zero [4.6]Edit
- Doug: You've been in a bad mood for months and I don't know how to talk to you anymore.
- Mark: Then don't. [walks away]
- Doug: All right.
- Carol: What's the statute of limitations on post-traumatic stress?
- Doug: Cut him some slack.
- Carol: I think we've all cut him plenty. He needs some help.
- Doug: He doesn't need a shrink. He needs friends who support him.
- Carol: He's not going to have any friends, supportive or otherwise, if he keeps this up.
- Carol: I'm going to miss you.
- Doug: I love you, Carol. [drives away]
- Carol: I love you, too.
Fathers and Sons [4.7]Edit
- Doug: He never drove less than 70 miles per hour his entire life. He would think it was funny to drive with his knees, his eyes closed, like it was some sort of game. Idiot. He can't even kill himself right. He has to take other people with him. Leave me to clean up the mess.
- Mark: I don't think your dad planned on dying down here, Doug.
- Doug: He never planned on doing anything his entire life. He didn't plan to lose our TV in a poker game. He never planned to be gone for more than a couple days. He never planned to hurt anybody in his whole life.
- Mark: Your dad lost your television in a poker game?
- Doug: I should have killed him myself. Saved everybody the trouble.
- Doug: [on the phone, leaving message] Hey, Carol, it's Doug. I was hoping to catch you before you went to work. I'm here in Barstow and we're cleaning up. I was just thinking about you, wishing you were here. I just miss you. I just wish you were here, is all. [Mark walks into the motel room] So, I'll call you tomorrow. Okay, bye. Hey!
- Mark: Who was that?
- Doug: Somebody I've been seeing the last couple of months.
- Mark: Couple of months? That sounds serious.
- Doug: Do you want any of these ties before I give them to Goodwill?
- Mark: I only wear ties to work. Is it anybody I know?
- Doug: I've got a suit here. I've got an Armani. I believe it's double-breasted.
- Mark: You don't want to tell me who it is?
- Doug: He had a set of clubs somewhere, I think.
- Mark: Why is it that you don't want to tell me who it is?
- Doug: Because I don't.
- Mark: It's not my ex-wife, is it?
- Doug: No, it's not Jennifer.
- Mark: Cynthia?! You're not, are you?
- Doug: No, and neither should you.
- Mark: Jeanie? Chuny? Anna?
- Doug: Are you planning on naming everybody who works at the hospital?
- Mark: She doesn't work at the hospital?
- Doug: It's Carol.
- Mark: What?
- Doug: Carol Hathaway. You're mouth's open.
- Mark: I'm speechless.
- Doug: Well, I'm relieved.
- Mark: You didn't miss much not having your dad around when you were growing up. Believe me.
- Doug: That's kind of a crappy thing to say, isn't it?
- Mark: It wasn't my idea to come down here.
- Doug: Don't stay.
- Mark: Don't worry, I won't.
- Doug: I'm confused. Your father's still alive, right? He's still with your mother?
- Mark: Oh, so that's your criteria for a good father? Longevity?
- Doug: Did he smack you around a lot? Used to smack your mom around?
- Mark: Oh, poor Doug.
- Doug: Wait. Poor Doug? Your father, did he come into your room in the middle of the night and throw up on your bed and pass out? Did he do that? Did he leave you in a hallway in Atlantic City while he screwed some hat check girl, Mark? Did he do that? Did he do that, Mark?! Your father was there for you every night, you and your mother, and that's love. And whether it's the way you want it or not! It's love, Mark. You grew up in Ozzie and Harriet-land. Get your head out of your ass!
- Mark: Do you want to say anything?
- Carol: A prayer?
- Doug: No. I hated the son of a bitch. And I loved him. It's never simple, is it?
Freak Show [4.8]Edit
- Anna (to Carter): Have you considered medical management? Treat the abscess with a course of Flagyl and Cipro before jumping into surgery?
- Carter: I'm willing to give a shot.
- Anna: No, no, no, wait. Are you just agreeing with me because you think that's what I want to hear or do you really believe that?
- Carter: What?
- Anna: I just don't want you agreeing with me just to please me.
- Carter: Believe me, I'm not. I've already considered several alternatives to surgery.
- Henry: You have?
- Carter: Shut up, Henry!
- Dr. Benton (to Dr. Romano): What about you? You got any kids?
- Dr. Romano: Ha! None they've been able to pin on me.
Obstruction of Justice [4.9]Edit
- Anna (to Mark after Carter's been arrested): What are we doing about Carter?
- Mark: I called a bail bondsman and they're going to release him in the morning.
- Anna: Wait, so he has to stay in jail all night?
- Mark: You want to call the family?
- Anna: And say what, "John Carter III's in jail"?
Do You See What I See? [4.10]Edit
- Doug (to Carol): Did you get tomorrow off?
- Carol: Not yet. Did you get tonight off?
- Doug: No, I owe too many shifts. Christmas Eve will cost me double.
- Carol: This is so unfair.
- Doug: Yeah, well, flex your muscle. You make the nursing schedule.
- Carol: Yeah, which is why I get stuck with it. "Carol can work Christmas, she has no life." They don't even feel guilty about it.
- Doug: Make them feel guilty about it.
- Carol: Now, that's the Christmas spirit.
- Doug: Tell them about us. This is stupid. I'm not going anywhere. You know that.
- Carol: I know. I know.
- As their ER Christmas party is going on with loud music.
- Carol: Can I have your attention everybody. Hello, can I have your attention please. I have an announcement to make. Can you turn down that music. Okay I have kept this a secret far too long, Doug Ross and I are seeing each other again.... And we are very happy.
- Conni: Okay, pay up. Pay up.
- Chuny: I was a week too late, I thought New Years for sure.
- Lydia: I'm surprised that they kept it a secret this long.
- Carol: You knew?
- Randi: Oh please honey it was obvious.
- Weaver: Well I didn't know.
- Anna: Me either.
- Doug: Maybe something you guys didn't know, that we've been seeing each other for a while now, again and I think it would be a great idea if she would marry me.
- Everyone cheers!
- Doug: Everyone talk her into it.
- Chuny: Carol and Doug get it right this time.
- Carol: You always have to out do me.
- Doug: I had the opportunity and I had to take it.
Think Warm Thoughts [4.11]Edit
- Mark: Carter, you come here every day. Sometimes you're really cooking, and sometimes you're not. But you're here every day doing your work. And one day you'll look up and maybe 10 years will have passed. It'll be the sum total of what you've done that counts. Not the passion.
- Dr. Benton (to Carter): These seminars are a waste of time. All they want to know is if I've ever killed anybody.
- Carter: What do you tell them?
- Dr. Benton: Just med students.
- Medical Student (to Carter): What's the weirdest thing you have taken out of somebody's rectum?
- Carter: Umm, a bowling trophy.
Sharp Relief [4.12]Edit
- Anna (to Carter): You're leaving in the middle of your shift. It's about your cousin, isn't it?
- Carter: I know what I'm doing.
- Anna: You don't look like you know what you're doing.
- Carter: (annoyed) And you don't know anything about my family, so just drop it.
- Carol (to Doug): I needed to think.
- Doug: About what?
- Carol: About you and me. And the engagement and the vows and the rings. I think we're rushing into this. I don't think we're ready.
- Doug: I'm ready. But you aren't?
- Carol: When I was talking to Greg Powell, it got intense and... and I kissed him. It didn't go any further than that, but it was one of those moments, you know? I didn't want it to...
- Doug: Okay, that's good. I just wanted to make sure you were safe and sound (picks up his coat)
- Carol: Doug! I am so sorry!
- Doug: Yep, me too. (leaves)
Carter's Choice [4.13]Edit
- Carol (to Doug): I've spent years, years of my life, changing to fit your needs, working around your schedule, your insecurities, your inability to commit. Well, you know what, Doug? It's not all about you! I know that may come as a shock, but a relationship is give and take; two people as equals, and right now I need something! So you can grow up and accept it or you can go on being the same selfish, self-centered bastard you've always been and refuse to give me the one thing, the one thing I've ever asked you for!
- Carter (about the rapist): I wanted him to die. I saw what he did to that old lady and the others before her, and I wanted him to die. I didn't think he should have that blood. I mean, if someone had come in and they really needed it. If some little kid had been hit by a car or some old guy had been accidentally shot. If someone like that had died because we wasted the blood on that guy... I don't know. It was my decision, and I made it, and if he died, I don't know how I'd feel, but I can't say that I'm sorry. (pause) I mean, was I wrong?
Family Practice [4.14]Edit
- Mark (to Cynthia): I'm like a magnet for needy people. They find me wherever I go.
- Cynthia: Like I did?
- Dr. Romano (to Dr. Corday): Ah, here's our little action hero.
- Dr. Corday: How does it look?
- Dr. Romano: Like ground beef. No, actually, more like chopped liver.
- Dr. Corday: Yeah, but do you think we have a chance for limb salvage?
- Dr. Romano: You want my honest opinion? No, I don't think you do.
- Dr. Corday: Well, I'd like to give it our best shot.
- Dr. Romano: You got it, Lizzie. No holds barred. One hundred and ten percent.
- Dr. Weaver (to Jerry): Hey, is that Mr. Arteburn's chart?
- Jerry: Yeah, yeah. Actually, check this out. Blue Cross. Not the HMO, not the PPO. Traditional indemnity plan gold.
- Dr. Weaver: Jerry, we treat everyone the same.
- Jerry: I'm just thinking about the budget deficit.
My Brother's Keeper [4.16]Edit
- Dr. Corday (to Dr. Benton): I took anthropology as an undergraduate. Cro-Magnon man is considered a modern Homo sapien, just like you.
- Dr. Benton: Thank you very much.
- Dr. Corday: I didn't say he was as good looking.
- Mark (about Cynthia): She was actually nice to me which is a departure from most women in my life.
A Bloody Mess [4.17]Edit
- Dr. Corday: Carol, Anna, do you two have plans this evening?
- Carol: You know I did and then I didn't and now I don't know anymore.
- Dr. Corday: You, Carol, have something that I really envy.
- Carol: What?
- Dr. Corday: A sex life!
- Anna: Cheers to that!
- Carol: I have no complaints in that department!
Gut Reaction [4.18]Edit
- Mark: Each day we work together as a family because we're a family. It's no secret that it's been a rough year for me, so I want to thank each of you for helping me through some hard times. You stuck by me when I needed you and you've given your best to make our ER a place that we can all be proud of, so thanks for being my family. I couldn't have made it without you.
- Kerry (to Mark): The food was terrible. The music stinks. The drinks are watered down, but you sure know how to throw a great party.
- Mark: Thank you.
- Kerry: You're welcome.
Shades of Gray [4.19]Edit
- Brianna Thomas (to Kerry): Why are you being such a bitch?
- Kerry: Because you are being irresponsible.
- Brianna Thomas: More likely because you aren't getting any yourself.
- Dr. Romano (while performing surgery on a patient): Why don't we give her a heart transplant while we're at it?
- Dr. Corday: Why don't you stop being such a prick?
Of Past Regret and Future Fear [4.20]Edit
- Carol (to Doug): After my father was gone, my mom used to go on and on about how you can never depend on men. Now she's head over heels and I'm the one holding back. How messed up is that?
- Doug: It keeps me on my toes.
- Carol: I say I want time but the truth is I'm scared to death of losing you.
- Doug: Well, don't be.
- Carol: I'm so sorry, Doug.
- Doug: Don't be.
- Carol: I love you.
- Doug: I love you, too.
- Dr. Benton: (while talking about Carla's boyfriend) He gets to spend all his time with Reese. How do I compete with that?
- Dr. Corday: You're his father, Peter. You don't have to compete.
- Dr. Benton: Then I thought I'd come and see you, but you had that lunch thing.
- Dr. Corday: Are you jealous? (Dr. Benton smiles) Well, you know, your instincts were right. Romano propositioned me.
- Dr. Benton: Are you serious? What did you say?
- Dr. Corday: I lied. I said I don't date colleagues. It's cowardly of me, I know.
- Dr. Benton: That's okay. I lied today, too.
- Dr. Corday: What, about me? (Dr. Benton nods) So much for a relationship without complications.
Suffer the Little Children [4.21]Edit
- Mark: You lied to me, Doug. You looked me right in the eye and lied to me.
A Hole in the Heart [4.22]Edit
- Doug (to Kerry): I don't care about your rules.
- Kerry: I hope you also don't care about being an ER Pediatric Attending because you've just given up any chance of that.
- Carol (to Mark): I was there because I wanted to be there, not because Doug asked me.
- Mark: I'm sure you were. Doug can be pretty passionate about these kids.
- Carol: Oh, give me a little credit, Mark. You think I'm a fresh-faced nursing student who can't resist the doctor's spell?
- Mark: I'm only saying that Legal and Administration are going to be going over every detail of this case. And I'd hate to see it reflect badly on your record.
- Carol: So you're saying I should fudge my involvement?
- Mark: Tell the truth. Tell them you were doing your job. Tell them you were assisting a doctor.
- Carol: The truth is I insisted on being there because I believe Doug was working in the best interest of the patient. And that much is my responsibility. Every bit as much as it is his.
- Benton (to Corday): You're running all over the hospital, asking every surgeon to sponsor you.
- Corday: Okay, so what do you suggest?
- Benton: Elizabeth, you haven't even checked out other hospitals, other parts of the country.
- Corday: I've built up relationships here. Or so I thought.
- Benton: I'm not saying I would want you to leave Chicago.
- Corday: No, but you're not passionate about my fight to stay.
Day For Knight [5.01]Edit
- Corday: (to Lucy) Now, don't let the residents abuse you. You're here to learn, not to be their indentured servant.
- Weaver (to Lucy): So, I haven't had much of a chance to work with you today. I trust everything is going well?
- Lucy: Yes. You know, pretty well for a first day.
- Weaver: In other words, it's been completely hateful, huh?
- Lucy: Did I say the wrong thing?
- Greene: In general, it's probably not a good idea to show up the residents.
- Lucy: So, I should give the wrong answer?
- Greene: Tricky, isn't it?
- Chuny: Welcome aboard.
Split Second [5.02]Edit
- Lucy: Right, Dr. Carter?
- Jerry: Please don't call him Dr. Carter. We'll never be able to live with him.
- Lucy: What should I call you?
- Jerry: He's just...Carter.
- Carter: Dr. Carter will be fine.
- Weaver (to Greene): You know, I think it's a wise move for you. Great research opportunities in EMS.
- Greene: Well, I'm actually more interested in coordinating paramedic care.
- Weaver: And for once, you and I would not be in competition. Field work was never my forte.
- Greene: You wouldn't want this job, Kerry. There's no money, no power, no glory.
- Weaver: Yeah, right. It doesn't fit into my Machiavellian scheme to rule the Emergency Department.
- Romano: I couldn't do it, work with family.
- Corday: Robert, you can't work with anyone.
- Olbes (to Greene): Hold on. Are you telling me that the EMS Medical Director is a real person?
- Greene: He's an ER doc.
- Olbes: Huh. I thought it was just a name they stuck on the top of memos.
- Greene: Not when I do it.
They Treat Horses, Don't They? [5.03]Edit
- Greene: You need to make a decision, Kerry. Do you want to be a doctor or an administrator? I'm going to go examine a horse.
- Ross: [after reading from Weaver's performance review of him]: That's right, Kerry. I'm a psycho.
- Randi: [Stares at Carters beard]
- Carter: What?
- Randi: You're starting to look kinda mythical.
Vanishing Act [5.04]Edit
- Weaver: I never know how to answer that question about my weaknesses.
- Greene: Yeah. Well, I could've helped you out there.
- Romano: [to Corday] You can wear the long coat; it looks better on you.
- Carter: Okay, party's over; you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!
- Lucy: What's wrong, was the music too loud?
- Carter: No, the furniture was too on fire.
Stuck On You [5.06]Edit
- Dr. Parks: Do you know any deaf people, Dr. Benton?
- Benton: No. No, I don't.
- Dr. Parks: Have you ever thought that being deaf might not be so terrible?
- Benton: So, you're saying there's no problem?
- Dr. Parks: You can never know what it's like to be deaf. Just like I can never know what it's like to be black.
- Benton: I don't look at me being black as a burden. That's who I am.
- Dr. Parks: And I don't look at my deafness as a burden. That's who I am. If you turn away from your son's deafness, you will be robbing him of his identity.
- Benton: My son has a medical problem. I'm not turning away from anything. I'm trying to fix it.
Hazed and Confused [5.07]Edit
- Amanda Lee: If you don't mind me saying, I'm one of the baddest ER bitches out there.
The Good Fight [5.08]Edit
- Carter [to Lucy]: Some patients get to you more than others, I know. But when you do everything that you can, sometimes even more than you thought you could, you've got to walk away knowing you fought the good fight. You fought the good fight, Lucy. Tomorrow you'll fight another one.
Good Luck, Ruth Johnson [5.09]Edit
- Weaver: Carter! I am not your mother! Now, for the last time, get up!
- Drunk: 100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer take one down pass it around 100 bottles of beer on the wall.
- Jerry: I've never heard one go on this long.
- Lydia: Seems like forever.
- Jerry: He can't even count, never drops to 99, 98, just back to 100.
- Haleh: So you don't mind that he's loud and smells bad, just that he can't sing the song right.
- Lydia: 100 bottles of beer on the wall... Sorry it's catchy.
- Haleh: Who's on?
- Jerry: General Lee but she's in a meeting with Anspaugh.
- Lydia: I hope you aren't calling her that to her face.
- Jerry: Our new chief of emergency services, would I do something like that?
- Haleh: We need to pop this guy some adivan and put him out of our misery.
- Jerry: Yes I believe there is someone asleep in the on call room.
- Haleh and Lydia: Wake them up.
- Jerry: I can't leave the desk.
- Haleh: Then find someone that can wake them up.
- Lydia: We've got work to do.
- Carol: Mark time to get up.
- Mark: I'll be right there...
- Carol: Mark let's go it's 7:00.
- Mark: I'm up, I'm up.
- Doug: Hey Mark I don't want to have to throw cold water on you.
- Mark: Oh, Doug is that you.
- Doug uses an air horn to wake him up
- Doug: Hey you about ready.
- Mark: About Deaf, that wasn't really necessary Doug.
- Doug: Well I know but I do it to Carol every morning.
The Miracle Worker [5.10]Edit
- Romano: You're a resident, Peter. You don't take a piss without asking permission.
- Weaver: Jerry, next time you want to make an ass out of yourself, leave me out of it. OK?
Nobody Doesn't Like Amanda Lee [5.11]Edit
- Tony: [answering the phone] ER. If you're sick, we'll fix you quick.
Double Blind [5.12]Edit
- Lucy: [about Romano] So, should I feel special or does he stare at everyone's breasts?
- Corday: No, only the females as far as I know.
Choosing Joi [5.13]Edit
The Storm, Part 1 [5.14]Edit
- [Talking about the Titanic with Lucy and Dale]
- Carter: Leonardo DiCaprio, hoop skirts, and tragic love is kinda my idea of hell on earth.
- Kerry: What about Ross?
- Romano: Take him out back and shoot him.
- Kerry: [To Jerry] Damn it, Jerry, if you don't stop watching TV, I'm gonna rip it off the wall with my bare hands and beat you to death with it.
The Storm, Part 2 [5.15]Edit
- Carter: Oh, Chuny. Hi.
- Chuny: Hi.
- Carter: You got a minute?
- Chuny: Sure. What's up?
- Carter: Umm. Earlier, with Lucy and I. I'm sure that you have your suspicions about what we were doing in there. But, actually, we were just..
- Chuny: Knocking boots?
- Carter: What?
- Chuny: Doing the old nasty? Hey, the more the merrier, I say.
- Carter: Actually we weren't doing anything.
- Chuny: Mm-hmm.
- Carter: I mean, she's a med student, you know? I'm a..resident.
- Chuny: That stuff happens all the time.
- Carter: Lucy's like- Lucy's like a little..sister, or something, to me.
- Chuny: Ah. You do that with your little sister?
- Carter: Nothing happened! We didn't do anything! Do you - Do you hear what I'm tell - and besides, I already have a girlfriend.
- Chuny: Ahh. That insurance lady?
- Carter: She's a financial advisor.
- Chuny: Hm.
- Carter: Roxanne and I have a lot in common.
- Conni: Units are pulling up!
- Chuny: She's too pushy, you know. Always trying to sell you something. I'd stick with Lucy. You two make a cute couple.
- Carter: We are not a couple!
- Kerry: Are there seatbelts on the bus?
- Mark: No.
- Kerry: We've got airbags in every new car in America, but we're sending our kids off like lambs to the slaughter.
Middle of Nowhere [5.16]Edit
- [When Jeanie's nose is bleeding and Peter reaches out with a tissue]
- Jeanie: Peter, don't touch me, for God's sake! I'm poison.
Sticks and Stones [5.17]Edit
- Corday: Mark's just trying to be a friend in that endearing slightly-inept-male kind of way.
Point of Origin [5.18]Edit
- Corday: I've found a way to limit my Romano exposure.
- Benton: Oh, yeah, what's that? Garlic?
- Weaver [while treating a woman who gave birth in the street]: Did they find the placenta?
- Paramedic: She said a dog ate it.
- Haleh: Oh, lord.
Rites of Spring [5.19]Edit
- Carter (to Lucy): Are you back with us?
- Lucy: No, I'm still on Psych.
- Carter: Well, you'll be back doing real medicine soon, so don't get too used to the cush life.
- Lucy: Yeah, I won't.
- [Romano has just started operating when the power goes out]
- Romano: Wish I hadn't just made that incision...
- Carol: I mean, do we even pretend to be living in a democracy anymore? It's just a medieval power play between career Republicans and Democrats and who hates who more. If there were still guillotines and burning at the stake, I swear they'd be doing that too.
- Carol: I need to fax this.
- Jerry: Be my guest. Or do you want me to...?
- Carol: Oh, no thanks, it's kind of personal. I'll do it myself if that's okay.
- Jerry: Do I look like Kerry Weaver?
- Romano (to Haleh): What? You didn't think I had a mother, did you?
- Haleh: Just trying to picture her.
Responsible Parties [5.21]Edit
- Carter: (to Chuny) I keep my love life out of the work place, thank you very much.
- Jerry: Since when?
Getting To Know You [5.22]Edit
- (While Carol is having an ultrasound)
- Carol: What? Mark, what?
- Mark: Heartbeat.
- Carol: Yes, Mark, Elizabeth already said that. What?
- Elizabeth: No, what he means is... there are two heartbeats.
- Carol: (shocked) Twins?!
- Mark: Elizabeth, I don't know, I don't know what's going to happen...but I do know how I feel and I feel like I've found something amazing, and I want to be here. I want to get to know you. We cannot be scared. I would hate to miss another boat. (they kiss for the first time)
Leave it to Weaver [6.01]Edit
- Vanilla Latte Boy (to Carol): Warm milk is nasty.
- Carol: Really? And what are you having?
- Vanilla Latte Boy: Double tall vanilla latte.
- Carol: A latte. Don't you know that coffee stunts your growth?
- Vanilla Latte Boy: That is so not true!
- Carol: Do your parents let you drink it?
- Vanilla Latte Boy: What are you, the coffee police?
- Luka (while carrying a 5-year-old girl named Michelle through a chaotic ER): Have you ever been to the circus?
- Michelle: No.
- Luka: You have now.
- Lucy: Dr. Finch, do you always jog to work?
- Cleo: It's only four miles.
- Weaver: Kind of makes you want to dislike her, doesn't it?
- Vanilla Latte Boy (to Luka): I don't get this. You're a regular doctor...
- Luka: Yes.
- Vanilla Latte Boy: ...But you don't work here.
- Luka: No, I do work here, but only when they need me. I'm what they call a "Moonlighter."
- Vanilla Latte Boy: Because you're from another country?
- Luka: No, because I only work here from time to time, when they need me.
- Vanilla Latte Boy: And they needed you today because of the truck crash!
- Luka: (sighs) No. I'm here because one of the regular doctors...
- Vanilla Latte Boy: I thought you said you were one of the regular doctors.
- Luka: I just fill in when someone else is absent.
- Vanilla Latte Boy: Oh, I get it! You're like a sub!
- Luka: A sub...? Yeah, yeah. I'm a sub.
- Vanilla Latte Boy: What kind of accent is that?
- Luka: (sighs again) Thick!
- Carol (to Luka): So, you took that little girl in to see her mother?
- Luka: Yes.
- Carol: Even though Dr. Weaver and Dr. Greene didn't think it was a good idea?
- Luka: Oh, mostly they're not sure if I'm a good doctor.
- Carol: Why do you say that? This is like the second or third time you've worked here, isn't it?
- Luka: Yeah. Enough time for them to stop calling me Dr. Kovac. You know, when people are not sure, they tend to keep things more formal. I hope you will be happy enough with your sutures to call me Luka. I took the girl in because, uh, children need to know, need to see, even if what they see is not good. It's still better than being in the dark, you know? Having... that kind of fear.
Last Rites [6.02]Edit
- Lucy: Dr. Dave, how much should I lower his O2?
- Malucci: Oh, I don't know. Crank it down. If he turns blue, crank it up.
- Lucy: You're kidding, right?
- Malucci: No. Purple ain't good.
- Malucci (to Cleo): Hey, Jackie Joyner. Nice spandex.
- Cleo: Get a life...
Greene With Envy [6.03]Edit
- Mark: (about not being consulted regarding the hiring of Gabe Lawrence) Couldn't you have the courtesy to at least tell me first? It's called respect, Kerry. Hey, look, it's even on your stupid badge.
- Carter (to Elaine): I want you to know that I'm here for you and that for me this wasn't just about...
- Elaine: Sex?
- Carter: Yeah, it wasn't about that.
- Elaine: It was for me. And if we're talking "needs" John, I don't need you to feel sorry or worried or tender or anything. I just need you to go away.
- Carter: I don't want to go away.
Sins of the Fathers [6.04]Edit
- Benton [to Malucci]: Do you know what it means to be skating on thin ice?
- Malucci: Okay, this is me, backing off.
- Malucci [about Dr. Lawrence]: What's with the new guy?
- Greene: Oh, which new guy would that be? Dr. Lawrence or you?
- Romano [to Corday]: Lizzie, when you assume, you make an ass out of 'you' and 'me.' Oh, never mind...
Truth & Consequences [6.05]Edit
- Dave: Hey, how you doing, Jesse? I'm Dr. Dave.
- Patient: I'm not feeling too well.
- Dave: Well, what seems to be the problem?
- [The patient throws up.]
- Dave: That's...colorful.
- Malucci [to Greene]: Have you always been at County?
- Greene: Going on 10 years.
- Malucci: Damn! Guys who kill their entire families don't get 10 years.
- Greene: It's not a prison, Dave.
- Malucci: I don't know about that. Doctor Weaver sure acts like a warden.
- Dr. Lawrence: [to Kerry] For the record, my way may be older, but its still faster and better...kinda like me.
The Peace of Wild Things [6.06]Edit
- Carol [to Mark]: I got a pregnant junkie arrested for possession so she could get clean in jail and give the baby a chance.
- Mark: Want to talk about it? Drown our sorrows in a couple of ginger ales?
- Dr. Lawrence [about being diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease]: I was thinking of committing suicide, but I wasn't sure when I should do it. If I did it too early, I'd miss out on what little life I had left. If I waited too long, I wouldn't remember to do it.
Humpty Dumpty [6.07]Edit
- Chad: (to Finch) If you call this drunk, lady, you don't get out much.
- Greene (to Dr. Lawrence): How are things going?
- Dr. Lawrence: For a doc that can't practice medicine, I can't complain.
Great Expectations [6.08]Edit
- Carter [to Malucci]: You did a rotation in Grenada?
- Malucci: No, Sherlock, I went to med school in Grenada.
- Abby [to Carol]: How are you feeling?
- Carol: I am in love with the epidural man.
- Abby: Some people call him an anesthesiologist.
- Carol: Oh, he will always be the epidural man to me.
- Abby (to Carol about Greene): You know, I wouldn't repeat this outside the room, but you owe your friend your future children.
- Corday (to David Greene after he is injured slipping on ice): Do you know what time it is?
- David Greene: Yeah, time my ten-year-old granddaughter started her period.
How the Finch Stole Christmas [6.09]Edit
- Haleh: The Sixties were from 1961 to 1970.
- Conni: What about 1960.
- Lily: That was the last year of the Fifties.
- Haleh: Which means the new millenium really starts in 2001.
- Chuny: Then why am I spending half my paycheck on New Year's Eve plans?
- Lily: You and the rest of the world.
- Corday (to Dean Rollins): I'm curious about something.
- Dean Rollins: Me too. Are you a natural red head? I'd like to see for myself.
- Romano: Well, it's nice to see that when the cat's away, the mouse still jumps.
- Benton: What's going on?
- Romano: Just teaching Ms. Knight the finer points of an L-VAD implantation. You know, from now on, I think I'm only gonna do favors for people who come begging at my doorstep. Which leads me to ask, Peter, why wasn't it you?
- Benton: I never even considered it.
- Romano: O ye of little faith.
- Lucy: Dr. Romano, I again just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you doing this.
- Romano: Eh, that's enough sucking up, Lucy. Cut please.
- Valerie (to Lucy): I cannot thank you enough, Dr. Knight.
- Lucy: I'm not a doctor yet.
- Valerie: You are to me.
Family Matters [6.10]Edit
- Carter (to Chen): Yeah, I'm actually pretty surprised to see you around here. I, uh, thought you dropped out of medicine after...
- Chen: I almost killed that patient by leaving a guidewire in his chest?
- Carter: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up.
- Chen: Oh yes you did, John. But that's okay. And let's face it, it was kind of a low point. But it did force me to face the truth. I was being way too aggressive. Way too much of an overachiever. Always trying to show people up.
- Carter: Well...
- Chen: And way too successful at it. I'd left the patient out of the picture.
- [When Greene tells Carter he has to go to San Diego]
- Carter: Hey, is everything okay?
- Greene: Well, my father's barricaded himself in our old house. There's no heat, there's no electricity. He's running around in his underwear so actually everything isn't okay,
- Malucci: So, uh, Carter... did you know this new resident, Jing something-or-other?
- Carter: That's good, screw up her name. That'll impress her.
- Weaver: Luka, I heard about what happened. I'm sorry.
- Luka: No, don't, don't apologize.
- Weaver: It might not always make sense to us, but when there's a difficult family situation, we call DCFS because they have expertise in this area. We have to defer to their judgment.
- Luka: You don't break up families.
- Weaver: Sometimes we do. It's complicated.
- Luka: No! My wife and kids were taken.
- Weaver: In the war?
- Luka: Yeah. And then killed. You don't break up families.
The Domino Heart [6.11]Edit
- Romano: (to Lucy) Miss Knight, you are like a crazed Energizer Bunny on this one. You just keep going and going and going.
- Weaver: (to Greene) A two-gallon dump gives you a solid flush..
- Luka: I'm European. We like to be gallant.
Abby Road [6.12]Edit
- Lucy: Somebody stole my patient.
- Greene: Peter, did you steal Lucy's patient?
- Benton: Check the lost and found.
- Romano: Why mess with natural selection? Nothing like a good influenza epidemic to thin the herds.
- Carol: Residents, the only thing worse than med students.
- Abby: Patients normally don't bite in OB.
- Greene: That's an occupational hazard down here.
- Abby: I used to work in O.B., and up there I would deliver a baby, and then I would deliver a baby, and then I would deliver a baby. And today, I was puked on, spit at, bit, and then I tricked a psychotic woman, and then I almost killed a guy.
Be Still My Heart [6.13]Edit
- Mark [to David]: It's not good medicine for...
- David Greene: ...for one family member to look after another.
- Mark: [to Chen and Malucci] Do you know why I had only one child? Because I didn't want to listen to the two of them arguing in the back seat of my car.
- Corday: Robert, this is a dog.
- Romano: Correction, Lizzie, this is my dog.
- Corday: I'm sorry, Robert, I just don't think it's proper to be operating on your dog.
- Romano: I'm chief of staff, is that proper enough for you? Besides, what would you have me do? Leave her to some poodle surgeon?
- Abby (to Carter): Today was the first day I saw an old person die and I guess I'm just not used to it.
- Carter: Well, you want the good news or the bad news?
- Abby: Give me the bad.
- Carter: You never get used to it. The good news is you never get used to it. At least I haven't. So you may have come up here to be alone, but you're not.
"Having fallen to the ground after being stabbed by a schizophrenic patient, Paul Sobriki, Carter struggles to get his bearings together and manages to get up for a second before falling down again. He then glances over to the opposite side of the bed which has his eyes widening in horror. It then cuts to show Lucy who's lying on the ground, in her own blood, Sobriki having stabbed her and slashed her throat as well."
- Carter: [weakly] Lucy!
All in the Family [6.14]Edit
- Corday: (when Lucy dies from complications of her injuries) Time of death, 2:56.
- Luka: Pretty scary, huh?
- Malucci: Yeah, pretty scary.
- Abby: I was complaining about my day.
- Carter (to Benton): Lucy's dead, isn't she?
Be Patient [6.15]Edit
- Carter (to Benton): We all know what happens after the "jazz club."
- Benton: Just when did you lose the filter between your brain and your mouth?
- Carter: I think you might have taken it out in the OR last week.
- Mrs. Knight (to Carter): Um... Can I ask you something?
- Carter: Yes.
- Mrs. Knight: When you were... Well, when that man stabbed you, what did you think? No--I mean, what did it feel like?
- Carter: Well, um... It happened really fast, and I didn't really know what was going on. But I didn't feel a thing.
- Mrs. Knight: No pain?
- Carter: (shakes his head) No pain.
Under Control [6.16]Edit
- Abby: One of my patients dies and I'm the last one to know.
- Benton (to Carter): Hey, how are you feeling?
- Carter: Ready to go.
- Benton: Yeah? You know, I saw your MRI. Looks like you're recovering just fine.
- Carter: Yeah, I should be able to get rid of these things in about a week or two.
- Benton: Carter, take your time. Don't push it, alright?
Viable Options [6.17]Edit
- Corday: We're going through potential recipients like...
- Greene: Crap through a goose?
- Corday: Yeah, that works.
Match Made in Heaven [6.18]Edit
- Carol: (to Luka) No offense, but you look like crap.
- Romano: Luka? What is that, Croatian for "lucky"?
- Luka: No, Luke.
- Romano: Uh...
- Randi: (holding out the phone) Dr. Greene, it's that nurse again.
- Greene: Now what?!
- Randi: Apparently your father's making racial slurs.
- Greene: She's Swedish!
- Randi: Well, maybe he called her a meatball.
The Fastest Year [6.19]Edit
- Carol (to Luka): Did you grow up in the city?
- Luka: No, near the coast.
- Carol: Is that where you were during the war?
- Luka: No. Then we were in Vokuvar. Small apartment, didn't have much money. We kept the children in all the time for safety. They would get crazy, what do you call it...?
- Carol: Cabin fever.
- Luka: Yeah... I was going to the market to...not for much, some cheese and bread... and they were climbing all over me. "Please let me come, let me come." And the answer was the same as always, "No, it's not safe." My wife stayed with them.
- Carol: Luka...
- Luka: No, it's OK. I was only maybe, uh, 50 meters away when I heard the whistle in the air. An artillary shell hit the building. (pauses) It's already done now. People rebuilt all during the war. One day you're sitting at a café, the next day it's bombed, and the day after that, they begin to build! That's what you do. Something happens, you rebuild, you go on. (pauses) We should probably go. Your mother will think you've gone joy-riding.
Loose Ends [6.20]Edit
- David: I love you, Mark.
- Greene: I love you too, Dad.
- Malucci (to Weaver): Hey Chief, am I a yuppie?
- Weaver: No, but you will be when you grow up.
- Corday: (to an anorexic patient) A friend of mine died today, fighting for his life. Go ahead, kill yourself. You don't give a damn? Neither do I. Fine! Discharge her
Such Sweet Sorrow [6.21]Edit
- Carol: I have to go find out.
- Luka: Find out what?
- Carol: If he's still in love with me... because... I'm still in love with him. I am. I've been in love with him since I was 23 years old. He's everything to me. He's my life. I feel complete when I'm with him and I feel empty when we're apart. He's the father of my children... and he's my soulmate.
- Weaver: Dr. Malucci, if I don't see you standing over a sick patient looking compassionate and engaged in the next 30 seconds, you're going to spend the next week doing nothing but disimpactions and yeast infections!
- Kerry: It's five after seven. Is there some kind of natural disaster that I'm unaware of? An earthquake, or half of Chicago swallowed up by a giant sinkhole?
- Haleh (to Abby): You're younger than us, prettier than us, and skinnier than us.
- Lydia: We hate you.
- Abby: Thanks for the candor.
May Day [6.22]Edit
- Benton [to the gunman]: I'm a doctor, I'm here to help. Can you talk?
- Gunman: Go to hell.
- Benton: I'll take that as a yes.
[Carter punches Benton]
- Benton: Carter you wanna fight that's cool man, but either way your getting your ass in that van.
- Malucci (after noticing Mark scratching his groin while meeting med students, due to the effects of poison ivy): Dr. Greene, I have a question: Something wrong with the Australian boys?
- Mark: Who?
- Malucci: (grins) You're scratching "down under." Doesn't make a good first impression.
Sand And Water [7.2]Edit
- Mark: Did you catch her?
- Elizabeth: Oh yes I caught her, but once she starts writing she can't stop. Heaven forbid, I should have jabbed that pen into her corotid artery.
- Mark: Hmm, I think they double the fine once you draw blood.
- Elizabeth: You need a building with guest parking.
- Mark: Take my spot.
- Elizabeth: I don't want your spot! Dam.
- Mark: What?
- Elizabeth: No milk.
- Mark: (Offers his cereal bowl) Want some of mine?
- Elizabeth: A grown man, you put an empty milk carton back into the refrigerator.
- Mark: It's not empty
- She dumps the remaining drop into the sink.
- Mark: Now it's empty.
- Elizabeth: Not that it chills anything cooler than room temperature anyways.
- Mark is showing Elizabeth a house he wants to buy with her.
- Mark: You should check out the refrigerator, it's nice and cold.
- Elizabeth: Look at this deck.
- Mark: I knew you would love that.
- Elizabeth: When can we move in?
- Mark: When can you pack? It has an ice maker.
- Elizabeth: These floors are gorgeous.
- Mark: You should check it out.
- Elizabeth: What?
- Mark: The ice maker.
- Elizabeth: It's lovely.
- Mark: You have to open it. It has a special ice feature.
- Elizabeth: What does the ice come in different shaped cubes or something?
- She opens the freezer and closes it.
- Elizabeth: Oh my god, Mark.
- Opens it again and there sits a ring.
- Mark: I'm a little nervous, so let me say it. Elizabeth I love you. I was hoping you would give me the joy and honor of being your husband?
- Elizabeth: Oh...
- Mark: Is that a yes?
- Elizabeth: Yes.
Mars Attacks [7.3]Edit
Benton Backwards [7.4]Edit
Flight Of Fancy [7.5]Edit
The Visit [7.6]Edit
Rescue Me [7.7]Edit
The Dance We Do [7.8]Edit
- Abby: [Talking about her mother] It's the dance we do.
The Greatest Of Gifts [7.9]Edit
Piece Of Mind [7.10]Edit
Rock, Paper, Scissors [7.11]Edit
Thy Will Be Done [7.13]Edit
A Walk In The Woods [7.14]Edit
- Abby: Penny for your thoughts.
- Luka: (chuckles) Pardon?
- Abby: It means, what are you thinking about?
- Luka: Nothing, really...I was thinking about the Bishop.
- Abby: ...Making love with me makes you think of a priest with lupus? (they laugh) You watch me when we make love.
- Luka: You're beautiful.
- Abby: What was her name?
- Luka: Who?
- Abby: Your wife.
- Luka: ...Danijela.
- Abby: Did you love her very much?
- Luka: ...Yeah.
- Abby: I'm glad.
The Crossing [7.15]Edit
Witch Hunt [7.16]Edit
- Luka blows on his coffee to wake Abby up.
- Abby: Luka I think one of the kids from the coffee shop broke into the apartment.
- Luka: I got breakfast.
- Abby: I don't believe in breakfast.
- Luka: It's the most important meal of the day.
- Abby: That's never been medically proven.
Survival of the Fittest [7.17]Edit
- Romano: [To a very pregnant Elizabeth] Are you sure you can still reach the table?
- Elizabeth: At least I can see the table...
April Showers [7.18]Edit
- Elizabeth: This is America, and sometimes in this country you have to kick some ass!
- Mark: [Trying to get on an overloaded bus] Can you let me on?
- Passenger: Wait for the next one pal!
- Mark: I gotta get to my wedding.
- Passenger: That's original.
- Mark: It's true, why else would I be carrying this tux? They towed my car, and the EL is down.
- Passenger: Make room! Make room! Dead man walking.
Sailing Away [7.19]Edit
- Chen: Don't be a hero, get the epidural!
Fear Of Commitment [7.20]Edit
Where The Heart Is [7.21]Edit
Four Corners [8.1]Edit
(Talking about her deceased son...)
- Jackie: He's still my baby, Peter. I'm supposed to take care of him. I feel like somewhere, some time, he's going to be sad or cold or scared. Who's taking care of him? Who's being his mother?
(Abby and Carter are at Carter's grandfather's funeral, and she notices that the birdbath is broken)
- Abby: You're going to have some dirty birds.
- Carter: Grandpa liked to drive the power lawn mower around.
- Abby: Into the birdbath?
- Carter: Not on purpose. He was having a fatal MI at the time.
- Abby: (laughs) I'm sorry.
- Carter: Gotta die somehow. Not a bad way to go. Sunny day, out on the mower (they both start to laugh) Don't, don't laugh.
- Abby: Then stop it!
- Abby: Nice suit! Who died?
- Carter: My grandfather.
- Abby: Sorry..., I didn't know.
- Greene: [He was]...eaten by dogs.
- Corday: Eaten by dogs? In Chicago?
- Greene: It happens, alot! A cop told me.
Blood Sugar Sex Magic [8.3]Edit
- Chen: John did you discharge Ravis?
- Carter: Who?
- Chen: 22 year old woman, she was taking birth control pills.
- Carter: Yeah, why?
- Chen: Weaver took her from me!
- Carter: Oh.
- Chen: She gave her to you.
- Carter: Maybe she thought you were swamped?
- Chen: Yeah, more like incompetent.
- Carter: She made you Chief Resident, you know, your the chosen one.
- Chen: By default.
- Abby: [Talking about replacing Luka's fish tank she broke] You ready?
- Carter: One more patient.
- Abby: I'll be in the car, I don't want Luka to see us.
- Carter: Aren't we going to be wearing ski mask's?
- Abby: Just bend over.
- Carter: You can at least buy me dinner first.
Never Say Never [8.4]Edit
- Patient: Dude, it only takes like two minuets to freeze a wart off.
- Frank: Actually less, but you still have to wait like everybody else.
If I Should Fall From Grace [8.7]Edit
A Simple Twist of Fate [8.14]Edit
- Luka: (to Brian, after he beat up Abby) You touch her again- I'll kill you.
Damage Done [8.15]Edit
- Frank: So you're gay, huh?
- Weaver: Yeah, Frank, I'm gay, all right?
- Frank: You know you're going to hell, right?
- [Romano walks into the lounge and sees that Elizabeth is crying]
- Romano: What's wrong, is Prince Harry in rehab again?
- [Romano to Elizabeth about Mark:]
- Romano: Is he your husband?
- Elizabeth: Yes.
- Romano: Do you love him?
- Elizabeth: Yes.
The Letter [8.20]Edit
- [After Gallant gets sick during a trauma, Carter repeats what Dr. Mark Greene told him in the same situation eight years ago.]
- Gallant: You know, sometimes I don't think I can do this.
- Carter: You know, there's two kinds of doctors. There's the kind that get rid of their feelings, and the kind that hold on to them. If you hold on to your feelings you're going to get sick every once in a while. It's part of it. You know, people come in here, and they're sick, and they're bleeding, sometimes they're dying. And they need our help. And helping them is more important than how we feel. But hell, I've been doing this eight years, I still get sick. Take another minute.
Chaos Theory [9.01]Edit
- Romano: [coming to in the ER after losing his arm] Oh no, I'm at County
- Abby: Chaos Theory?
- Carter: Yeah, a virus mutates in the Congo. We evacuate an ER in Chicago. Romano gets his arm cut off.
- Abby: You lost me.
- Carter: Seemingly random events, all part of a larger equation.
- Abby: I'm hot.
- Carter: You know, a butterfly flaps its wings in China, and creates a tornado halfway around the world.
- Abby: Are you hot?
- Carter: I'm just saying that there's an inherent unpredictability about everything-- evolution, life. Love, relationships.
- Abby: So what am I? The butterfly or tornado?
- Carter: No, you're chaos in general.
- Abby: Oh, thanks.
- Carter: No, I'm just saying, you're chaos to me. The unknown. I'm chaos to you.
- Abby: You are hardly chaos, Carter.
- Carter: I'm just saying there's a risk in anything that you do, right? But don't you want to stack the odds in your favor? I mean, I'm drawn to you. It's kind of that simple. I've been drawn to you for two years, but chaos always seems to rule, and I don't want it to rule. I want to know where it's taking me. You know what I mean?
- Abby: Nope.
- Carter: The tornado. Definitely the tornado.
Dead Again [9.02]Edit
- Carter: Ah, the smell of fresh med students in the morning.
- Susan: What is it about them? They all seem so...
- Frank: Gullible, immature, vapid?
- Susan: I was going to say "sweet".
- Pratt: (to the new med students) So, newbies, huh? You don't want to work here.
- Romano (to Corday): Lizzie. You're one face I missed seeing in recovery.
- Corday: I'm so sorry, Robert.
- Romano: About my arm? Or about not being there?
- Abby: Normally they just decapitate the leaders of the insurrection and send the peasants back to work in the fields.
- Woman Patient: If men needed abortions, there would be drive-thrus with beer on tap and ESPN on the TV.
- Carter: I got stabbed, Lucy got killed, and today, Abby and Chen get a gun to their heads. I'm sorry, no. It's got to stop. Otherwise, it's not worth doing.
- Susan: I know, Carter. You're an emergency room doctor. It's about getting through the shift.
- Chen (while she & Pratt are sorting through severed fingers): You think this is a pinkie or a ring?
- Pratt: Looks like a cocktail weenie.
- Abby: Hey, Frank, take care of my baby brother.
- Frank: Is he potty trained?
Walk Like a Man [9.04]Edit
- Abby (to Kerry after she is named the nurse supervisor): I was hall monitor for a day in the 5th grade and they fired me for selling passes to the other kids.
- Kerry: Well, I'm sure you've matured since.
- Abby: Not that much really.
- Gallant: (to Pratt after he slugs him) Do not call me Mikey!
- Weaver (to Gallant): You hit another doctor?
- Gallant: Yeah, Dr. Pratt
- Weaver: Oh. Well in that case, I'll overlook it.
- Susan: (to Luka) When you're waiting on a patient's results, it's not necessary for you to boff that patient's mother in the storage closet.
- Abby (to Carter): How does a couple burgers, shakes, and see if you get lucky sound?
- Carter: I haven't had an offer that good since the eighth grade.
- Carter: (to Gallant) Hey, Pratt wants you to hit him on the other side of his face, to even things out.
- (As Abby is removing a dead goldfish from the tank in the waiting room))
- Abby: Time of death, 7:36 a.m.
- Carter: Ah. Your goldfish coded?
- Abby: Yep. Third time this week. Every afternoon I restock the little pond here, and every morning it's like the Exxon Valdez came through.
- Carter: You can get somebody else to do this for you.
- Abby: Well, I'm committed.
- Carter: Committed fish killer. (Abby drops the fish into Carter's coffee cup)
A Hopeless Wound [9.05]Edit
- Romano: I know most people don't like me; I don't care, I don't like most people. But I'm good at what I do. I save people's lives. Every day. If I can't do that...
- Romano (to Corday as he is operating on a pig) :Though even with one arm, I'm a better surgeon than the rest of the hacks in this hospital.
- Corday: Robert, you're not cleared to do surgery, even on farm animals.
- Corday: I lost my wedding ring!
- Romano: Oh, boo-hoo, this guy's about to lose a leg! I'd say chop chop, but that would be in extremely poor taste!
- Romano (after Corday loses her wedding ring down the drain): Somebody call the Tiffany's Search and Rescue team!
- Luka (to Abby about her costume): Maybe you could wear some Swaztikas with that outfit. You could be a naughty Nazi nurse.
- Abby: You totally suck, you know that?
- Luka: Hey, careful! Creating a hostile work environment!
- Chuny (about Luka): I'm not working with him.
- Abby: Why?
- Chuny: Because he treats nurses like idiots!
- Luka: Hey, if your boots fit!
- Abby: Shoes.
- Luka: Whatever.
- Luka (to Abby about her costume): Are you wearing that for your shift?
- Abby: Yes. It's Halloween. You know, Jerry sent out a memo.
- Susan: Ooo. Naughty nurse!
- Abby: I'm not a naughty nurse.
- Susan: I like it.
- Abby: I'm not... It's like an old fashioned nurse.
- Frank: Looks naughty to me.
- Luka: So what, you're like a kurva nurse?
- Abby: What's that?
- Luka: How do you say, uh, sly, uh, tramp, whore...
- Abby: Yeah, I got it. You know, maybe I should've worn that school-girl outfit you bought me. :(Susan and Frank stares at Luka)
- Luka: (laughs) Eh, she's making a joke!
- Chuny (to Luka): Labs on your baby. (throws them at him as she walks by)
- Luka: Thank you!
- Abby: Glad to see you've made up!
- Luka: Hey, I'm being professional. She's the one having trouble. I warned her.
- Abby: Warned her about what?
- Luka: Nothing.
- Abby: Oh my God. You are such a jerk!
- Luka: What?
- Abby: You slept with her? That's what this is all about. What's your problem?
- Luka: Ey, one time.
- Abby: One time? One time with Chuny, one time with a patient's mother in radiology.
- Luka: Hey, you never complained!
- Abby: Yeah, I never let it affect my work. You two need to figure this out.
- Luka: So, what do you want me to do?
- Abby: I don't know, tell her you're sorry. Tell her it was wrong. Just fix it.
- Luka: I'm not gonna kiss her ass.
- Abby: That's how this whole problem started.
One Can Only Hope [9.06]Edit
- Romano: (while on the phone) Excessive therapy, excessive. Alright, how's this for excessive? I had my arm sliced off. I mean, what do I have to do to get full therapy? Do I have to have a pack of wolves come chew my leg off, too? Look, my physical therapist, my orthopedic surgeon, and the chief of staff of the hospital that pays your premium, what's his name again? Oh yeah, that's right, ME, have all determined that I need a minimum of five days a week in order to regain occupational use. (begins to yell) It's not disability, you nut! I'm still working...Hello...Hello? (slams down phone) Coward!
- Haleh (to Abby): I've been doing this job for 17 years, honey. Doctors come and go, but nurses make this place run. We don't get much credit or pay. We see a lot of misery, a lot of dying, but we come back every day. I've given up being appreciated, but I sure as hell won't let any of us be taken for granted.
- Pratt: I can't believe a guy comes in here with three bullet holes and nobody called me.
- Abby: You are such a trauma queen.
- Drunk Patient: I could use a sponge bath.
- Chen: You up for a lap dance, Malik?
- Malik: Maybe...
- Drunk Patient: Stay away from me, you chocolate homo.
- Malik: How did you know my stage name?
- Abby (to Eric): When did you start smoking?
- Eric: A while ago. What difference does it make?
- Abby: Nobody starts smoking after the age of 25.
- Eric: What can I say, I'm a late bloomer. You smoke, and you've been smoking since what, 8?
Tell Me Where it Hurts [9.07]Edit
- Abby (to Carter): My family's so screwed up. If I were you, I'd run for my life and never look back.
- Carter: You don't hold the monopoly on screwed up families. You met my mother.
- Abby: She's not certifiable.
- Carter: I have an idea. I think we should get them all together for the holidays... Gamma, my parents, your mom. (Abby laughs)
- Chen: (to Gallant and Harkins) Okay, alright, settle down. This is a teaching hospital, not Medical Jeopardy.
- Eric (to Abby): Every controller I know has had a couple of PTSD assessments. It's our way of working the system to get a little extra time off. We even joke about it. "How do you know when an air traffic controller is suffering from post traumatic stress? His tackle box is missing." You know? He's gone fishing?
- Kerry (to Susan): You're doing a good job of clearing the patients today.
- Frank: Easy to be fast when you're just killing them.
First Snowfall [9.08]Edit
- Erin: Ok, rack is empty, triage is clear and labs are pending on my only two patients.
- Carter: Good.
- Erin: So what do I do know?
- Carter: I dont know? Go play in the snow.
- Corday: My husband, his name was Mark, he died... My God, I was about to say last year. It's only been six months.
- Carter (to Luka): Commuting on skis!
- Luka: What?
- Carter: Skiing to work.
- Luka: Yeah, I don't live far. Nice coat.
- Carter: Goodwill box.
- Luka: Hey, did you find him?
- Carter: Who?
- Luka: Abby's brother.
- Carter: Um, I'm just gonna try and catch a train to Midway and wait for it to open up.
- Luka: Where are you going?
- Carter: Nebraska. She's already there. She left last night.
- Luka: Didn't go with her?
- Carter: I had a shift.
- Luka: Oh.
- Carter: I sent Gallant with her.
- Luka: Gallant?
- Carter: Yeah. Why?
- Abby (when she enters Eric's military hospital room): Hi.
- Eric: Were you expecting a strait jacket?
- Abby: No. You look nice.
- Eric: Fashion is key at a court martial.
Next of Kin [9.09]Edit
- Susan: I so need a margarita. Are you ready?
- Chen: I think I'm gonna pass.
- Susan: Oh, come on. I hate drinking alone. I mean I'll do it, but...
- Susan (to Luka): You're late.
- Luka: Blame my alarm clock.
- Susan: What's her name?
- Susan: (to Carter) If I was stuck on a train with my family... Well, bad example. I'd throw myself on the tracks.
- Eric (to Abby): Are you alone?
- Abby: No, Mom's here too.
- Eric: (to Maggie) Why'd you bring her?
- Maggie: She's worried about you, Eric.
- Eric: I don't want you here.
- Abby: Just hold on, alright?
- Eric: I don't want you in my life right now.
- Abby: What?
- Eric: (to Maggie) Are you coming in? (Maggie goes inside and Eric tries to close the door)
- Abby: Okay. Eric, don't do this.
- Eric: Move your hand.
- Abby: You need help.
- Eric: I don't want to hurt you.
- Abby: You can't do this by yourself! You need structure and stability.
- Eric: Let go.
- Abby: Someone you can rely on and trust!
- Eric: That's not you anymore, okay? You don't understand.
- Abby: Yes, I do!
- Eric: You think you do! But you don't. You're not like us! You never will be.
- Maggie: I'll call you when we get settled.
- Abby: Don't bother. (walks away)
- Abby: I'm done. I'm done with the both of them. I'm done with all of it. Cancel Christmas.
- Abby (while Frank & Jerry are fighting about wearing the same Santa costume): You guys, we already have the wasted angel of Bethlehem. Can we not have feuding St. Nicks?
- Frank: (to Abby while dressed in a Santa suit) Sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas, little girl.
- Abby: I want it to be January.
- Frank: SInce when is Santa scary?
- Pratt: Since he looks like a fat, old homeless dude.
- Luka: I feel like crap.
- Abby: You don't look so good either.
- Luka: Thanks a lot.
- Luka (to Erin): Why do you want to be a doctor?
- Erin: I don't know. Good at science.
- Luka: I became a doctor to take care of people. To heal them. (lies down)
- Erin: You do. Every day.
- Luka: But strangers, only strangers. And not tomorrow. (falls asleep)
A Little Help From My Friends [9.11]Edit
- Carter (to Pratt): Well, we work as a team. We cover for each other. We lean on each other. The job is too big to do solo. And if you can't get that, maybe you should be a surgeon or a superhero, or something else that doesn't require trusting people.
- Pratt: I've never been big on trust.
- Carter: You know what that turns into? Nobody trusts you either. Self-sufficiency is a good thing, but it's not the only thing. Asking for help when you need it doesn't make you weak.
- Dr. Romano: Did anyone ever bother to verify that there are medical schools in Croatia? Anyone?
- Dr. Romano (to Luka after he talks to a patient's mother): What are you doing? Holding your own private M & M with the kid's mother.
- Luka: She wanted to know how her son died.
- Dr. Romano: One word: peacefully. And leave it at that.
- Luka: She deserves to know.
- Dr. Romano: What? What, the truth? The truth is you killed her son. You want to tell her that?
A Saint in the City [9.12]Edit
- Kerry: Luka, why is Jessie Callahan still in Trauma 1? I'm curious because you pronounced her dead an hour ago.
- Luka: Her husband would'nt go up to the or unless she passed so I unhooked her leads and pronounced her. Why?
- Kerry: Good God! What happens when he comes back down from surgery and finds out his wife is still alive?
- Luka: I'll tell him it was a miracle.
- Susan: Call psych. The sun goes down and the nuts come out.
- Alderman Bright: (about Dr. Romano) I was on the committee that hired that man.
- Kerry: He's an excellent surgeon.
- Alderman Bright: Tragic about his arm. A lot of people downtown wish it had been his head.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished [9.13]Edit
- Susan (to Abby about Luka): I think maybe you should talk to him. He seems a little depressed.
- Abby: He's European. That's his baseline.
- Luka: What is it with this country? Nobody takes responsibility for anything. Always looking for someone else to blame, someone to sue.
- Frank: If you don't like it here, go back to Croatia. Not near as many lawyers. A lot more land mines, though.
- Fiona: Her boyfriend cheated on her and she went on a banana-split spree.
- Luka: So you called 911?
- Fiona: I didn't. She did. She wanted to get her stomach pumped. She must have ate, like, 50,000 calories. Sometimes she binges and purges.
- Luka: Sometimes? She's lost her gag reflex from sticking her finger down her throat so many times.
- Susan: Luka, obviously she has an eating disorder.
- Luka: No. I'll tell you what an eating disorder is. It's when a mother hasn't eaten in six days because she's giving what little food she has to her three children. She just cost the hospital three thousand dollars and for what? So she doesn't put on a pound? (walks out)
- Susan: Luka...
- Fiona: It's cheaper than liposuction.
No Strings Attached [9.14]Edit
- Kerry (to Dr. Romano): Not everyone's an opportunistic ass like you.
- Dr. Romano: Uh... So I've been told.
A Boy Falling Out of the Sky [9.15]Edit
- Kerry (as she leaves a message on Luka's answering machine): Yeah, Luka. This is Kerry Weaver. I'm down two attendings and up forty patients. If you don't get in here and start working your scheduled shifts, I'm gonna call the INS, tell them your green card's a fake and have your ass deported!
- Pratt (to Carter): Women don't know what the hell they want! Am I right? I'm right, right? They don't want a commitment until you give it to 'em, then they want their freedom. So, naturally, you oblige. Then they accuse you of trying to be with somebody else. I'm telling you, you can't win.
- Carter: Women can be hard to figure out sometimes.
- Pratt: Sometimes? Now you know who's got it all figured out I think? Homosexuals. No, I'm serious. Just listen to me. Look, there's two guys living together: toilet seat's always up, channel's always on ESPN. You can drink beers in the bed, leave your clothes on the floor. I'm telling you, gay cats got it good.
- Carter: Why are you telling me this?
- Pratt: I have no idea.
- Carter (to Abby): What do I want? I want you to stop being so afraid. I want us to stop being so careful.
- Abby: I'm not afraid! I'm just...
- Carter: I want to marry you!
- Abby: What?
- Carter: I want to marry you.
- Abby: Are you proposing?
- Carter: Yeah.
- Abby: You're crazy!
- Carter: Well then, I'll fit right in!
A Thousand Cranes [9.16]Edit
- Dr. Meyers (to Luka): So, what brings you here?
- Luka: Dr. Weaver. She told to come.
- Dr. Meyers: Well, why do you suppose she wanted us to meet?
- Luka: You tell me.
- Dr. Meyers: That's not quite how it works.
- Luka: Hey you're a doctor. Someone comes to me with a problem, I tell them how to fix it, so...
- Dr. Meyers: Let's start with you telling me...
- Luka: My problem?
- Dr. Meyers: What's on your mind.
- Luka: My family died during the war in Croatia. So I came to America. I had a relationship with someone I cared about, which I then ruined. So I started looking for the answers in the wrong places, you know like sex, drinking, living fast... Killed a patient I should've saved and then I almost killed a medical student in a car crash so... woke up one morning and everything I had was gone. Gone or broken. (pause) So what do you have for that?
- Dr. Meyers: Well, Dr. Kovac, it's not something I can really...
- Luka: That's what I thought. You should get back to work. Tell Weaver I showed up.
- Maggie (to Carter about Abby): I just don't want...
- Carter: Yes?
- Maggie: I just don't want you to wanna fix her.
- Carter: Abby doesn't need to be fixed.
- Maggie: Or heal her or change her.
- Carter: I love her.
- Maggie: I just don't want you to be waiting for her to change.
- Carter: I'm not.
- Maggie: She's an amazing person.
- Carter: I know who she is.
- Maggie: She's an amazing person with certain weaknesses and you'd be lucky to have her, even with those weaknesses, but you have to love her, even if she never changes anything.
The Advocate [9.17]Edit
- Luka: Just show up. That's all I've been doing: showing up. Time goes by faster at work. Shift work. Treat and street a few lost souls. You're with them when they're most vulnerable, when they're naked, weak, hurt. You touch them, look at their bodies, see them more closely than their families, their lovers. But it's mechanical, you know, temporary. You fix them up or you watch them die. Either way, it ends and you move on. No next time, no strings, no real connection. Maybe that's why I stay.
- Luka: Medicine was exciting, powerful, alive. Today we saved a teenager's sight. I saved a child's life. I didn't feel it. Didn't feel anything.
- Carter (to Abby): You know, right?
- Abby: Know what?
- Carter: That night at the restaurant. I had a ring. You knew that, right?
- Abby: I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would've.
- Carter: I didn't go through with it because at that moment it just felt... It did'nt feel right. And I don't why. But I wish I did know why. I think that the fact that I didn't do it, means that there's something that's not working.
- Abby: I get it. It's O.k. I gotta go.
- Carter: You get it? Well, that's good. Maybe you can explain it to me, 'cause I don't get it. I know that I show up for work and you're acting like a completely changed person and I think that's great. If that's real. The patch, the sponsor...
- Abby: Real?!
- Carter: For real, for you. Or is this something that's gonna be thrown out the window the next time something bad happens? Cause if you're trying to prove something to me...
- Abby: What?
- Carter: Like some kind of quick fix.
- Abby: I didn't do it for you! I woke up sick of myself, OK? And if you're sick of me and just all of it, I don't blame you!
- Carter: I'm not sick of you. How do you hear that?
- Abby: Because all I ever do is disappoint you. I feel like all I'm ever going to do is disappoint you...
- Carter: Stop.
- Abby: I've said this before, I don't know why you're...
- Carter: Stop! Stop!!! Stop with this whole routine! This fatalistic, black-cloud, nothing good is ever going to happen to me routine!
- Abby: The problem is, it's not a routine.
- Carter: Hey! What do I have to say? What do I have to do to get through to you?
Finders Keepers [9.18]Edit
- Dr Romano (to Carter): This is my ER now! That stands for one thing: Everyone's replaceable! Even you
- Dr. Romano: Is there some prerequisite for working here? You have to be a know-nothing, drag-ass who doesn't wear a watch? I always suspected Weaver would kill her own mother to get out of this dung heap and now I know why because apparently, only the Chief of Emergency Medicine is concerned with clearing the board.
- Dr. Romano: (to Gallant) Listen, okay Goofus? I'm the doctor, you're not....
- Gallant: You know what? It seems to me that if your intention is to....
- Dr. Romano: My intention is to serve out my time in this hell hole without having affirmative action imbeciles like you make me regret having ever gone into medicine.
- Dr. Romano: (to Carter, about Gallant) They're letting any bottom feeder with a check into med school these days?
- Carter: Actually, Gallant is one of our best med students.
- Dr. Romano: Well, that doesn't bode well for the future of emergency medicine. But maybe by the time he gets his licence, we'll all be dead.
Things Chance [9.19]Edit
- Dr. Romano: (to Luka) How do you say "bite my big one" in Croatian?
- Dr. Romano (to Abby): If I wanted a nurse's opinion...well, I don't know what I'd do because quite frankly it's never happened.
- Dr. Romano (to Pratt): Congratulations, smart-ass. You just bought yourself a month of midnights. (leaves)
- Pratt: Good, I love the nightlife.
Foreign Affairs [9.20]Edit
- Gallant (to Dr. Romano as he treats his burned arm): I'm not sure why you'd want an "affirmative action imbecile" fixing you up, but if you're trying to humiliate me...
- Dr. Romano: Zip it. You've demonstrated a certain amount of integrity. Now, that won't last long if you keep working here, but for the time being, it suits my purposes. I'd prefer to keep this between us.
- Susan: I thought nurses were supposed to be angels of mercy?
- Chuny: Even mercy has a price.
- Luka (to Kerry about a Croatian boy who needs surgery): After all the talk, we won't save this boy for only one reason: because we don't want to.
- Kerry: It's more complicated than that, Luka.
- Luka: Yeah, you're right. There's also the money.
When Night Meets Day [9.21]Edit
- Romano: Do me a favor, write "Not this one, idiot" on my arm...
- Romano: [looking at arm] You forgot "idiot"
- Elizabeth: I'll be there Robert...
- Romano: Just the same... "Idiot".
- [Elizabeth finishes writing]
- Patient: 2:16 PM. The end of the world!
- Carter: Oh, great, I have to work. I'm always working when the world ends.
- Dr. Chen (to Pratt): Congratulations, Greg. You survived the County experience.
- Pratt: Oh no, not just survived. I whooped it's ass.
- Abby (to Carter): Hey! I haven't seen you in a week. That's it? Luka called me, looking for you, he was under the impression I might know where you were. You're going, right? To Africa?
- Carter: It's not Rio, but it's not here.
- Luka (to Carter): In the beginning there's always a lot of talk of national pride and patriotic speeches, but after a few weeks it becomes this; nothing but death and sadness. These people just want what everyone else wants: their kids to have something to eat; to see them grow up, laughing, happy. They don't care where the border is or who gets to call themselves president. They just want this to stop.
- Carter: I don't even begin to try to understand the politics here.
- Luka: You are an American, Carter. You believe that if people are given a chance to convert to democracy, the world would be a better place.
- Carter: What's the alternative? Military dictatorships?
- Luka: You fight wars from the sky with bombs and missiles. Then your planes land back on the aircraft carrier and the pilots watch Drew Carey on satellite TV.
- Carter: Hey, American soldiers died in Iraq.
- Luka: Yeah, but your children don't starve to death while your men fight. Your women aren't raped. (long pause) I remember watching the television, reading the newspapers, saying that we had to fight and then my family was gone. I couldn't remember why it was all so important. What difference did it all make? My children were dead.
- Carter (to Luka): What should I tell Weaver?
- Luka: Whatever you want.
- Carter: Can I tell her you're coming back?
- Luka: I don't know.
- Carter: Don't do anything stupid.
- Luka: (smiles) Like what?
- Carter: Like get yourself killed.
Now What? [10.01]Edit
- Neela (to Frank): Excuse me. Can you help me, sir?
- Frank: You need to find a triage nurse.
- Neela: No, I'm sorry. I work here.
- Frank: Lucky you.
- Neela: I-I'm supposed to start today. Neela Rasgotra?
- Frank: Rag what?
- Neela: Rasgotra.
- Frank: Don't we hire Americans anymore?
- Neela: The phone was ringing and no one was around, so I thought I should answer it.
- Frank: Big mistake.
- Neela: It's long-distance, overseas, for a Dr.Carter.
- Frank: 'Course, who else? Take a message.
- Neela: (on the phone) Yeah, can I take a message? (to Frank) They say it's important. Someone who's died.
- Jerry: Who?
- Neela: Someone named Kovac. A Dr. Luka Kovac.
- Neela (to Pratt): What's a TWA?
- Pratt: What?
- Neela: What's a TWA?
- Pratt: Where did you hear that?
- Neela: The old guy at the desk with the flat head called me a TWA. I don't know what it means.
- Pratt: (shaking his head) Third world assassin, TWA.
- Abby (when Carter decides to head back to Africa): I don't know. You knew I didn't want you to go, and you went anyway. What, were you trying to hurt me?
- Carter: Why would I want to hurt you?
- Abby: I, I don't know! I don't know! Why would you want to hurt me?
- Carter: It wasn't about you.
- Abby: Oh, come on! You weren't even going to tell me you were going! If I hadn't bumped in to you when you were leaving, I wouldn't even have known!
- Carter: I wasn't trying to hurt you. I wanted to feel like I was really doing something.
- Abby: Did you even think about me?
- Carter: Yes.
- Abby: Okay, what did you think (pause) What did you think? I don't know why you bothered to come back. (starts walking away)
- Carter: Oh, you're just going to walk away?
- Abby: Yeah.
- Carter: Okay, walk away, Abby. That's what you do best.
- Abby: You want to know what you do best? You make this all about my problems, but you know what? You have some problems too. You've got some really big problems.
The Lost [10.02]Edit
- Luka: I was raised in the church. Catholic. I used to go twice a week with my mother. It was beautiful. I liked the music, the singing.
- Patrique: Do you still go?
- Luka: No, I stopped when my children and wife were murdered. I couldn't believe in a God would allow such a terrible thing to happen. (pauses, ironically) It's really hard to feel the Holy Spirit's presence on a day like today.
- Debbie (to Carter): You really don't like the Dixie Chicks? Everybody likes the Dixie Chicks.
- Carter: Everybody?
- Debbie: Everybody with taste.
- Carter (to the Mai Mai soldiers): You guys burned the clinic to the ground?! You guys... You guys keep burning down hospitals, where are you gonna go when you get shot, huh? Where are you gonna go when your mothers get shot?!
Dear Abby [10.03]Edit
- Prosthetist (to Romano): I can prepare another letter to the insurance company.
- Romano: I've got two letters for the insurance company; "F" and "U"!
- Romano: You really are one grade-A bitch, you know that, Kerry?
- Weaver: No, Robert, I'm your boss, and as long as I am, you're my bitch. Now get your ass back to work.
- Romano (to Jerry): Did you get rid of those nurses?
- Jerry: Yeah. They, uh, they went up to nursing administration saying something about hiring a hit man.
- Frank: Hell hath no fury like an RN scorned.
Shifts Happen [10.04]Edit
- Romano (to Pratt): You are a screw-up, Pratt and just to make myself clear, I didn't like you before I knew that.
- Cooper (to Pratt): I like your style, man.
- Pratt: Oh, yeah? Get your own.
- Abby (to Richard): I need a favor.
- Richard: Abby, it's 8:00 in the morning.
- Abby: Yeah, I know. I don't have a lot of time. I need you to co-sign a loan.
- Richard: Why don't you just declare bankruptcy?
- Abby: Look, I'm not in trouble, OK? I just need you...
- Richard: You want me to support you?
- Abby: No. I never asked for alimony, I didn't contest anything in court, I didn't take the damned furniture.
- Richard: You could have, if you wanted to.
- Abby: Look, you must know how much I hate to do this. I wouldn't do it unless it was absolutely necessary. I don't want your money, I just want your signature.
Out of Africa [10.05]Edit
- [It's Sam first day, and she has just jumped on a hostile patient and stabbed him with a syringe]
- Romano: Please tell me she works here...
- Sam : Sam Taggart, new nurse!
- Romano: So, what's today's excuse for Triage being a stinking, overpopulated cesspool of humanity?
- Sam : The healthcare system?
- Romano: Yeah, well, if things get too locked up, you can try stabbing some of these deadbeats in the neck. That ought to have them running to Northwestern.
- Romano: There's nothing I find sexier than a mute girl covered in blood, so keep your head down and your mouth shut.
- Sam : You remind of a guy I used to date. He's dead.
The Greater Good[10.06]Edit
- [Discussing a patient...]
- Sam : She needs a little TLC and maybe some Zoloft.
- Susan: That makes two of us.
- Susan: (to Sam) Keep Kovac away from her. He's been known to give away free physicals.
- Abby: (about Neela) I'm beginning to hate her.
- Susan: She's a med student.
- Abby: I'm a med student.
- Susan: You know, now that you mention it, she's pissing me off, too. Come on, let's hate her together!
- Tara King (to Luka): I could put together some packages for you could take to the Congo. I've heard that's a pet project of yours. Quinamax would be wonderful for all the important work you're doing over there.
- Luka: You want me to take your over-priced antibiotic to Africa?
- Tara King: It has great coverage for pnemococcus and AIDS flu.
- Luka: Why hasn't there been a new drug for malaria in three decades?
- Tara King: That's a really good question...
- Luka: Because there's no profit in treating poor people! (picks up a trash can and throws all her marketing products in it)
- Tara King: My company is...
- Luka: Your company spends twice as much in marketing as it does in development! Which is why prescription cost has tripled in the last 10 years! Get out of here. I want you out of here. (walks towards the door)
- Tara King: If this is a bad time...
- Luka: Frank, I'm gonna go get some coffee. Page me if you need me!
- Tara King: O.k. Dr. Kovac if you can... (Luka empties out the trash can in the dumpster) You know, I'll just come back when you're not so busy!
- Pratt (to Luka): She was my patient!
- Luka: Yes, and if I hadn't treated her, she would still be here. Now she's at home and feeling better.
- Pratt: So that's it. This is how I'm supposed to learn? Either I do it your way, or you take it away from me?
- Luka: Pratt, I'm trying to teach you that the way you practice medicine here is inefficient.
- Pratt: Oh, and letting babies die is?
- Luka: You really think you saved that kid today? For what? 24-hours nursing care? He's probably gonna require a life time commitment. Are you gonna be around to give it to him?
- Pratt: Listen, I'm sorry I'm not in some mud-hut doing amputations with a pocket knife. We have the technology and expertise to give that kid a chance! What's the sense in having it, if we don't use it?
- Luka: That kid has about a 5% chance of having a normal life! You have any idea how many other kids we could have treated with those resources?
- Pratt: I do everything I can for my patients! That's how I practice medicine. This is Chicago, not the damned Congo. Maybe you should just go back to Africa.
- Luka: Maybe you should go to Africa.
- Pratt: I know you didn't just say that to me.
- Luka: Maybe then you'd learn that there's more to being a doctor that ordering tests and calling consults for every patient just to cover your ass.
- Pratt: Stay away from my patients. From now on, I present to another attending.
Death and Taxes [10.07]Edit
- Susan: What are you doing?
- Sam : He just grabbed my ass. Here, take this to church and have it exorcised.
- Romano: That's right, you keep walking! Right up to the nursing director's office 'cause by the time you get there, there'll be a pink slip waiting for you.
- Sam : Good! Give me plenty of time to file my sexual harassment lawsuit!
- Romano: Do you mind?
- Susan: Yes, I do. You can have it back by the end of the day if you learn to behave!
- Romano: Give me my damned arm back!
- Sam : I've got a rule against ass grabbing.
- Susan: That's a good rule.
- Corday (about Morris): Is he squeamish?
- Pratt: No, just stupid.
- Susan (to Chuck): I thought that you were on that chopper.
- Chuck: God, no. They brought their own nurse, and that bitch wouldn't let me fly.
- Susan: That bitch saved your life!
- Mrs. Marshall (to Abby): The nurse never came with my medicine.
- Abby: That's okay. I'm your nurse now.
- Mrs. Marshall: I thought you were my doctor.
- Abby: That was this morning. Now I'm your nurse.
- Mrs. Marshall: This is a very strange hospital.
- Abby: Tell me about it.
- Luka: You sent that man up for a pulmonary angiogram?
- Neela: Dr.Lewis wanted to be sure before heparinising.
- Luka: What's your opinion?
- Neela: I'm not sure my opinion matters.
- Sam : Luka. You got a minute?
- Luka: [To Neela] If you don't think it matters, then it doesn't.
- Sam : Dr.Kovac! Tell me you did not put a splint on my kid's arm.
- Luka: I'm sorry, but we're busy trying to find a man's finger right now.
- Sam : Yeah, and the reason it's missing, is because in stead of studying here like I told him, he's off with you playing doctor.
- Frank: What?!
- Sam : Not like that.
- Luka: I'm sorry about the splint.
- Sam : Look. I appreciate you trying to be his friend. I just don't want things to get weird. You're a good guy, I'm sure. But you don't know crap about raising kids. So thanks for the help, but no thanks. I got it covered.
- Luka: [ Nods ] O.k.
- Abby (to Frank about Dr. Weaver): Where is she going?
- Frank: Home, to wait for the ghost of Christmas past to show up.
- Carter (while reading a Christmas card from the ER): Oh my God! Dr. Romano died.
- Kem: Was he a friend?
- Carter: Umm, no... No, not really.
Touch & Go [10.11]Edit
- [ Alex has sown stitches into his own leg ]
- Sam : You ever seen a kid do something this crazy before?
- Carter: Honestly? [ shakes his head ]
- Morris (about Carter): So, what's his story?
- Frank: Richer and better looking than you or I will ever be. The end!
- Pratt: When'd you two start your rotation?
- Abby: Five minutes ago.
- Pratt: Well, the NICU's great! Intubations, chest-tubes, umbilical-lines. You get to do all sorts of teeny-tiny kick ass procedures.
- [ elevator door opens ]
- Nurses: Card's is waiting and Raab's is pissed. Wanna give him a pneumo?
- [ The nurses, Abby and Neela roll the baby away ]
- Sam : Good luck you two!
- Pratt: Yeah, you gonna love it! [ To Sam ] Let's get out of here.
- Sam : I hate the NICU.
- Pratt: Those guys are screwed.
Get Carter [10.13]Edit
- Sam : You know what? Why don't save your lectures for the med students 'cause the nurses don't want to hear it.
- Sam : What is it with Kovac and his holier than thou healing hands? I'm getting pretty sick of that.
- Chuny: Oh, I don't know. Those healing hands have their good points. Right, Abby?
- Sam : Did you go out with Kovac?
- Abby: Briefly, yeah.
- Sam :And Carter?
- Abby: Yep.
- Chuny: Abby's the ER slut.
- Abby: I went out with two doctors in five years that I've worked with.
- Lester Kertzenstein: Hey, Abby. Are we still on for tonight?
- Abby: Yeah.
- Lester Kertzenstein: Great.
- Abby: We're studying! And you shouldn't talk, Chuny.
Impulse Control [10.14]Edit
- Sam : When I finally figured out where the clinic was, I sat in the waiting room and when they called my name I couldn't get up. The second time I went, I was too late. And now I look at Alex...
- Abby: The clinic I went to had a Strawberry Shortcake poster. I just looked at that the whole time.
- Arnie Nadler: Hi, i want to talk about the incident with Dr. Morris.
- Sam : It was no incident, it was a french fry.
- Frank: You waiting for Weaver?
- Sam : Yeah.
- Morris: Well, don't hit her. She's crippled.
Blood Relations [10.15]Edit
- Corday (while working a trauma with Luka, Gallant, Carter, and Malik): How come there are only men in here?
- Sam: Actually, I was thinking. It might be a good time to take a break.
- Luka: What?
- Sam: You know, just take it slower. You know what I'm saying.
- Luka: Uh, no I don't.
- Sam: We're not exclusive, right? We're just, like, dating or whatever. No commitment, no strings, no co-parenting. Just keep it casual, OK?
- Luka: OK.
Forgive and Forget [10.16]Edit
- Neela:[to Frank] You know what? You're a horrible man. Do you think it's pleasant being greeted every day by a fusilade of homophobic, xenophobic ranting from a bigot? From now on, I expect nothing from you but silence; blissful silence.
- Luka: No, it was fine.
- Sam : Because, when I said before... I didn't mean we shouldn't see each other at all. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
- Luka: You want things to be casual.
- Sam : Right. But if it's a choice between something serious or nothing, maybe serious is the way to go.
- [ About Gillian ]
- Luka: She has a boyfriend.
- Sam : That's nice.
- Luka: You said you didn't want to be exclusive!
- Sam : I said it four days ago!
- Luka: I forgot she was coming.
- Sam : You know what, I don't care. It's fine, Luka.
- Luka: It's fine?
- Sam : You think I really care how many french girls you're screwing? You already nailed every nurse in the ER!
The Student [10.17]Edit
- Carter: Neela, we were ranking fourth year med students in there. And everybody agreed you're really bright, and we really like working with you.
- Neela: Someone spoke poorly of me?
- Carter: Well, nobody in particular.
- Neela: Was it Dr. Chen? Because she's had it in for me...
- Carter: Neela, you have to be more decisive. Okay, you have to be more... proactive.
- Neela: They feel I'm too passive?
- Carter: Tell you what, for the next four hours, you are a doctor. I want you to carry a minimum of three patients at all times. Start their workups, order their labs and meds, and present back to me only after you've put your own diagnostic plan into action. Today, you're a shark.
- Neela: Shark?
- Carter: Keep swimming, or you die.
- Gallant (to Neela): You know, earlier, in the ambulance bay, I was thinking of asking you out.
- Neela: And I was thinking of saying yes.
- Susan: It's so sweet seeing them growing up.
- Jerry: Who? Babies.
- Susan: No, men.
Where There's Smoke [10.18]Edit
- Jerry: Oh, hey! Kovac called. He said next time he's gonna have a triple latte first. Does that make any sense?
- Sam : [ smiles ] Yeah.
- Chen: Are you two living together now?
- Sam : No.
- Chen: Well, for what it's worth, I think Luka's a good guy.
- Sam : Oh, wait. You didn't...
- Chen: ...Sleep with him? No, I went in a completely different direction (Chen waves at Pratt).
- Gallant (to Neela): I'm being deployed to Iraq. I'm heading for Texas tomorrow morning.
- Neela: You haven't finished your residency.
- Gallant: Yeah, I know. I'm gonna finish up the last few electives down there.
- Neela: They called you up, just like that?
- Gallant: Yeah.
- Neela: You're a coward.
- Gallant: What, what?
- Neela: Coward and a liar! I never asked you to do this for me, but you did! And now you're leaving, and I'm supposed to live with the fact that I killed a man, and that you helped and lied for me to cover it up.
- Gallant: Listen, Neela.
- Neela: No, Michael. Go to bloody Iraq. And tell yourself you've done something noble.
- Gallant: I had to protect you and Dr. Carter.
- Neela: No...you didn't.
- Chen (to Neela): You're not a good doctor until you've killed someone.
- Neela: (under her breath) Spoken like someone who hasn't.
Just a Touch [10.19]Edit
- Sam : Men only care about three things: food, sports, and sex. Dogs are more mysterious. If they ever invent a refrigerator with a wide-screen T.V and a vagina, we're all doomed
- Morris: Sounds like he TUBE'd her.
- Sam : What?
- Morris: TUBE: Totally Unnecessary Breast Exam.
- Sam : Morris, you're such an ass.
- Kerry: What was that?
- Sam: Sorry
- Kerry: Not You.
- Morris: Huh?
- Kerry:What was that term?
- Morris: I dunno. I didn't make it up.
Abby Normal [10.20]Edit
- Jack (to Carter): Milicent dies, you run off half way around the world. Disappears for months. Only to come back like some sort of avenging angel, with a pregnant African girl in tow.
- Carter: Her name is Kem.
- Jack: Are you back using drugs?
- Abby (to Jordan): This is not about me.
- Jordan: You want me to tell you things, to trust you, but you don't have to say anything? Is that fair? Don't you trust me?
- Abby: OK. I can't follow through.
- Jordan: On what?
- Abby: On anything. Once something gets in my way, it's like a chemical reaction. I just shut down, and I give up. I'm just looking for an excuse to stop, because in the end it's easier to do that than to risk being hurt and disappointed again.
- Jordan: You mean with men?
- Abby: Men, my career, my family... pick your poison.
- Kem: Oh my God, John. We're having a boy!
- Carter: Yeah, I think you mentioned that. What is this? What, you're having a little prenatal jitters?
- Kem: You don't think that, maybe we...
- Carter: What?
- Kem: Rushed into this?
- Carter: 'Course we did. But we didn't over analyze it, we didn't reexamine it, we didn't over think it. We just did it 'cause it felt right.
- Kem: This is a life that we're responsible for. You and me.
- Carter: We're ready. Are you ready? (points at her belly)
- Corday (about Carter and Kem's baby): A stillborn?
- Chen: Yeah, a true knot in the chord.
- Corday: How terrible.
- Chen: Ah, I can't even imagine!
- Corday: I'll try to get up there after rounds.
- Weaver: Poor people. Seven months old?
- Chen: Mm... Almost eight.
- Morris: Yeah, tough break. (Chen, Corday and Weaver all look at him) What? I was... I was being sincere.
- Jack (to Carter): When your brother died, the thing I hated the most was other people's platitudes. You're out of words. You don't know how you find the strength, but somehow you do. You can have another child... It was an accident, a tragic, unforeseeable accident.
- Carter: The whole thing was an accident.
- Jack: No, it wasn't. You love each other. Everybody can see that.
- Carter: I don't know that she'd wanna have another baby with me.
- Jack: Sure she will. Give it some time.
- Carter: Kem? They're gonna come down and take us to our new room soon. And when they come, they're gonna take the baby, and we're never gonna see him again... I don't know what the right thing is to say. I don't know what the right thing to do is... It was an accident! It was nothing that you did wrong, it was nothing that we did wrong. It just happened. I love you, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. But we have to say goodbye to our son now. I have to help you to do that, and I don't know how to do that. Please help me. Please.
- Sam : We're moving.
- Alex: No!
- Sam : Come on, hurry up!
- Alex: I don't wanna go!
- Sam : Ah, you don't exactly have a choice.
- Alex: I'm not going!
- Sam : Yes you are.
- Alex: I like it here.
- Sam : Yeah? So did I.
- Alex: You're just being a bitch.
- Sam : What did you call me?
- Alex: I'm sick of moving just because you're screwed up!
- Sam : You know what I'm sick of, Alex?! I'm sick of pretending that your dad is a good guy! I'm sick of keeping my mouth shut about all the crap that he's done and all the stuff that he hasn't. And I'm sick of him tracking us down every time he loses a job, so he can come here and buy you enough presents to make you think that he's actually a father. Because he's not! He's a user, and a loser, and I am not gonna let him turn you into one too. Now get your ass in that room and start packing!
- Antwan Coles (to Pratt): You gotta back me up, brother.
- Pratt: I'm Dr. Pratt, you're under suspicion for DUI. And you sure as hell ain't my brother.
One for the Road [11.01]Edit
- [ Luka leans up against his car at the motel, Sam is getting ice from the ice machine. ]
- Luka: [ sighs ] What are you doing, Sam?
- Sam : This is what I do, you know that. I don’t stay in one place that long.
- Luka: How long are you going to keep doing that?
- Sam : As long as I have to.
- Luka: You can’t keep running away.
- Sam : Sure I can.
- Luka: This isn’t just about Steve.
- Sam : Sorry, sometimes there’s a little collateral damage. I have to do this for Alex.
- Luka: From what I can tell, it’s not working for him.
- Sam : Yeah well, he’s 10, he doesn’t know what’s working for him.
- Luka: Is this the life you want for him? For yourself?
- Sam :[ opens her mouth as if to say something, but is speechless ] I don’t know what else to do.
- Luka: Go to your car and follow me back to Chicago. You don’t have to do this alone, I’m here, you can trust me.
- [ A tear runs down Sam’s cheek. Luka pushes her hair back and caresses her face with his hand. ]
- Sam : That’s not something I’m good at.
- Luka: Why not give it a try? It can’t be any worse than this, can it?
- [ They both smile and softly laugh ]
- Neela (while examining Pratt): Keep your mouth open so I can check the pharynx.
- Pratt: Thought you weren't supposed to be doing anything.
- Neela: You're a resident; no one's going to care if I kill you. Open.
- Weaver: Somebody go find Morris! He's probably in the bathroom again staring at Maxim.
- Weaver: Back off Pratt, or I'll check your rectal tone with my crutch.
- [ Luka wakes up, turns to see that Sam is not there and gets out of bed. We then see Sam at the open window. Luka comes out of the room and hugs her. ]
- Luka: You’re not sleepy? You will get cold like that.
- Sam : He’ll come back [ Sam moves away from Luka. ] We won’t have any idea when. Sleeping in one morning or on our way home from a movie, and he’ll just show up.
- Luka: We’ll deal with that.
- Sam : I don’t know why you would want to.
- [ Sam looks into Alex’s room where he is sleeping ]
- Luka: I can think of a reason. [ Luka closes the window. ] This place is too small. You should both come and live with me.
- Sam : What?
- Luka: My apartment has two floors. Alex can sleep downstairs.
- Sam : Luka! If we all move in together it is going to be because it is something we all want, not because you think we need to be protected!
- Luka: Hey.
- [ Sam walks away and mumbles something about a shower. ]
- Luka: Hey! [[[w:Samantha Taggart|Sam]] stops and turns and Luka picks up the frying pan. ] Scrambled or fried?
- Sam : Poached!
- Luka: Poached??
[ Later, after shark guy, Luka, Sam , Malik and Jerry joking about nurse sharks. They are reading off the internet ]
- Jerry: It says here they adjust well to captivity.
- Malik: Sounds like a nurse to me!
- Sam : Not all of us!
- Luka: They tend to move slowly but with a relatively small range during the day.
- Sam [ laughs ]: Hey, watch it!
- [ Luka says goodbye to Carter. Sam give Carter a med record and follows Luka out the door and chases him down. ]
- 'Sam :Luka!
- Luka: I thought you were still on?
- Sam :For awhile, yeah. Ah, you know what you said, earlier, on the steps? [ Luka nods ] Me too. So… come on by later and I’ll make you some eggs.
- Luka: [ nods again ] OK.
- [ They both turn to go. Sam turns and yells out ]
- Sam : Hey!
- [ Sam runs to Luka he grabs her in his arms as he laughs and they kiss. ]
Try Carter [11.03]Edit
- [Neela, sitting in a registry/intelligence office]
- Woman: So you placed very high on your placement test, but you haven't got a lot of experience in any other service industry. No retail, no sales. Secretarial?
- Neela: No.
- Woman: Uh... Bookkeeping?
- Neela: Not really.
- Woman: Horticulture?
- [Neela shakes her head]
- Woman: Mechanics?
- [Neela shakes her head]
- Woman: Electrical?.....Perhaps we'd have better luck if you told us what sort of things you can do.
- Neela: Well, let's see: I can crack open your chest, reinflate your lung and squeeze your heart back to life.
- Carter: If you want me to tell anyone anything?
- Corday: Tell them, uh... It's been lovely.
- Ella: Mommy, in the picture?
- Corday: Listen, John, i'm going to have go, okay, bye. [to Ella] Sorry, sweetheart, what?
- Ella: Is this Daddy? [hands Elizabeth a picture of Mark]
- Corday: Yeah! You know that! [hands the picture back to Ella, and she looks at another photo]
- Ella: Who are they? [hands the black and white picture to Elizabeth.
- Corday [smiling]: That's your Nana and Grandpa.
- Ella: Are they dead too?
- [Corday looks sadly into the distance, remembering Mark]
An Intern's Guide to the Galaxy [11.05]Edit
- Dubenko: Jet-skis account for only 20% of boats but are involved in 44% of injuries, know why that is? Dr. Lockhart?
- Abby: No.
- Dubenko: "No" is right -- no throttle, no steering, no way to stop.
Time of Death [11.06]Edit
- Pratt: You know what? It's Friday. I don't do lost causes on Friday. It's a religious thing.
- Charlie: I never believed in God. That might bite me in the ass how, huh?
- Luka: God will get over it.
- Pratt: If you ask me, we need to have one line for legitimate patients, another line for all the rest.
- Sam: Yeah, well, good thing nobody asked you.
White Guy, Dark Hair [11.07]Edit
- [ Cut to Sam sorting supplies in an empty trauma room. Luka enters ]
- Luka: The detective is still here.
- Sam : You shouldn’t have been so dismissive of me in front of him.
- Luka: You didn’t need to discuss the details of Louise’s condition. She deserves some privacy.
- Sam : Yeah, and she deserves a chance to help. We have an option we haven’t even talked about.
- Luka: And that is?
- Sam : If we deflate the crike balloon Louise could wisper.
- Luka: You want to take her off the vent?
- Sam : Just for a few moments at a time.
- Luka: She is requiring 100% oxygen
- Sam : I take her off the vent every time I suction her and she’s fine. Come on, we both know it’s possible.
- Luka: Technically, yes, but why risk it?
- Sam : Because she wants to help.
- Luka: She does or you do?
- Sam : What is that supposed to mean?
- Luka: [ a beat, softer ] You’re sensitive about these kinds of cases.
- Sam : What?
- Luka: You always want to stand up for women who’ve been assaulted.
- Sam : And you don’t?
- Luka: Of course I do. Maybe because of when you were with Steve?
- Sam : Steve never raped me.
- Luka: Physical abuse? Hitting you?
- Sam : Oh, this has nothing to do with that.
- Luka: Are you sure?
- Sam : Yeah. There’s a violent rapist out there. How are you going to feel in two days, two weeks, a month from now when we get another woman like Louise in here.
- [ Malik comes in and says: Hey, crit’s only 19 on your GI bleeder.Luka gives a nod to Malik ]
- Sam : Go. Go.
- [ Luka leaves. ]
- [ Sam is preparing Louise’s body. Luka comes in and Sam notices him. Luka stands at the foot of the bed and Sam is looking at Louise’s face. ]
- Luka: I thought they would have taken her by now.
- Sam : Morgue’s backed up. Cororner’s backed up. Same ‘ol, same ‘ol. I thought you were with that (some medical term) kid.
- Luka: Peds surgery took him up to the OR.
- [ Sam starts to cry ]
- Luka: Sam, you don’t need to do this.
- Sam : I know.
- Luka: There are other nurses.
- Sam : I know.
- Luka: Sam.
- Sam : I shouldn’t have done it.
- Luka: The contusions were severe. She could have died anyway.
- 'Sam : I shouldn’t have done it, Luka.
- Luka: You did what you did to help the patient, Sam.
- [ Pause ]
- Luka: Sam?
- Sam : When I deflated the balloon Louise was still so traumatized. He kept asking her all these questions and the only thing that she could remember was….. white guy, dark hair.
- [ Luka walks up to Sam, standing behind her. ]
- Sam : I did what I did for “white guy, dark hair.”
Shot in the Dark [11.08]Edit
Twas the Night [11.09]Edit
- Abby: Next year, I'm going to invent a family so I don't have to come on Christmas.
- Pratt (to Dr. Chen about her ailing father): Is it Chinese to euthanise your elders?
- Dr. Chen: It's Chinese to respect them.
- Dr. McPherson: Where's Lockhart?
- Abby: Dr. McPherson?
- Dr. McPherson: I didn't authorize dialysis for Sanders and you started it without my approval! I wanna speak to your Attending. (looks to see Carter off to the side)
- Abby: Your patient was drowning; he needed emergent dialysis. You're an Attending on-call, I covered your ass.
- Dr. McPherson: You can't just deceive Attendings when you don't agree with them!
- Abby: Well, if you report me for working the system, I'll report you for abandoning your patient.
- Ray: Go, Abby.
- CJ (while pointing a gun at Abby) You're scared of big black men, huh?
- Abby: No. I'm scared of big black guns.
- Susan (to Neela): I need to talk to you later about your patient satisfaction scores.
- Neela: Is there a problem?
- Susan: Yeah, they suck.
- Luka: Weaver?
- Susan: Yep, otherwise known as the four letter word beginning with a "c".
- Luka: Crab?
- Susan (to Ray): When people come to the hospital, they want to see a doctor, not a rock star.
Only Connect [11.11]Edit
- Sam : He to young to go, and shouldn't even be listening to that kind of music anyways.
- Luka: I did't know you already said no.
- Sam : Luca, I'm trying to teach him the value of a dollar and you go and give him everything that he wants.
- Luka: It was only fifty bucks.
- Sam : For a concert ticket for a ten year old, NO. That's ridiculous.
- Luka: I just don't think you should be worried about money so much.
- Sam : Look, I appreciate your generosity, but I am not going to let you start paying for everything.
- Luka: But you don't have to pay exactly half the rent and half the bills every month, that's ridiculous.
- Sam : You know I've been taking care of me and Alex for 10 years on my own, I think I can handle it.
- Luka: You know, this isn't about money at all. You're worried about losing your independence or something. And about my role in Alex's live. What are you worried you're losing control or something.
- Sam : You know what, you always do this.
- Luka: Do what?
- Sam : This! Telling me what I'm really mad about.
- Luka: Most of the time you don't know what you're really mad about.
- [ Sam walks to the door ]
- Luka: Sam, this isn't our stop
- Sam : You're really good at teaching other people how to communicate.
- Luka: Thanks
- Sam : We shoud try it ourselves sometime.
- Luka: Yeah.
- [ Silence, Luka gets a smirk on his face and tilts his head down to her a bit. ]
- Luka: But my English, you know? I still need to work on it.
- Sam : Aw, you're pulling the Croatian card? That's low!
- [ She hits him gently and he pulls her into an embrace, hard. He looks down at her adoringly and she returns the look. ]
- Luka: You were right about one thing.
- Sam : Only one thing?
- Luka: $50 is too much for a concert ticket.
- [ She watches him as he comes in for a kiss. It's romantic as the camera pulls away and the show ends on them on the El kissing. ]
The Providers [11.12]Edit
- Dr. Abby Lockhart: You slept with your instructor?
- Dr. Neela Rasgotra: Dr. Gibson had a very tender way with cadavers.
- Dr. Abby Lockhart: And you called him "Dr. Gibson"?
- Dr. Neela Rasgotra: Only in bed.
- Dr. Luka Kovac: Do you have an intern on this?
- Dr. John Carter: I got Ray.
- Dr. Luka Kovac: Uh... what do you think about taking Neela instead?
- Dr. John Carter: Why is there a problem?
- Dr. Luka Kovac: Just do me a favor, okay?
- Dr. John Carter: Alright, send the Punjabi powerhouse my way.
- Amanda: So, it's the pelvis we have to worry about?
- Dr. Abby Lockhart: That's right.
- Amanda: But other positions...?
- Dr. Abby Lockhart: Yeah, sure. Get yourselves a six-pack, a copy of the Kama Sutra and shoot out the lights.
- Nurse Samantha Taggart: Dr. Carter? Dr. Weaver's on the phone for you. She sounds kinda...
- Dr. John Carter: Kinda what?
- Nurse Samantha Taggart: ...Weaver-like.
- Luka: He doesn't get to you?
- Sam : Doctor Hair? I think he's kinda cute.
- Luka: What?!
- Sam : Surgery and ER have these battles in every hospital I've ever worked in. It's not personal. It's, surgeons think they're much better and smarter than everyone else. It's a defense mechanism. To make up for their terrible lifestyle.
- Luka: The guy needs an ex-lap.
- Sam : It's a pissing match, Luka. Let it go. Come on, you're taller and sexier, and you already got the girl.
- Luka: This isn't about ego.
- Sam : Oh, it's not?
Just as I Am [11.14]Edit
- Dr. Kerry Weaver: Watch out for those lesbians they've ruined our God gifted life.
Alone in a Crowd [11.15]Edit
- Carter (to Wendell): Look, I'm sorry.
- Wendell: Who was it?
- Carter: It was stupid, it was rude and I'm sorry. Can we go back inside please?
- Wendell: Is this a little diversion for you until she comes back to the States?
- Carter: It's freezing out here.
- Wendell: Go back inside, John.
- Carter: Hey, hey, I had a baby with her. What am I supposed to do? Cut her out of my life completely because I'm with you now?
- Wendell: Are you with me?
- Carter: Can we just please go back inside? Don't, come on, don't walk away! OK, so that's it. One phone call and you're gone, huh?
- Wendell: One phone call? You were in bed with me, John. You could have mentioned that, somewhere between "how are you" and "how's the weather."
- Carter: Look, we spend every night together, we enjoy each others company, we have fun. Alright. I know what you want me to say, and....and I can't say it, OK? I'm sorry.
- Wendell: Well, at least you're honest.
- Carter: Look, it doesn't mean that we can't...
- Wendell: Yeah, it does. (walks away)
- Carter: (sighs) Wendell!
Here and There [11.16]Edit
- Gallant: (in his letter to Neela) You guys probably don't even remember me by now. I'm the tall, good looking, black guy with the best bedside manner in the place. Tell Pratt I said that.
- Pratt (about the letter Neela is writing to Gallant): Tell him to hurry up and get his ass back here in one piece. I'm tired of waiting for my rematch. Now let's get back inside.
- Neela (in her letter): Pratt says he misses you.
Back in the World [11.17]Edit
- Dr. Michael Gallant: [regarding Neela's dinner outfit] If that's your deep-dish outfit, I'm glad I didn't say French food.
- Luka (to Sam about Steve being back in town): What do you wanna do?
- Sam: I'm not gonna run away again. Especially not now. I don't want you to have to worry, it's my problem.
- Luka: I kinda think it's our problem.
- (As Steve and Luka are fighting & Alex comes out with his bags packed)
- Alex: Luka!
- Steve: It's nothing, kiddo. Just a little disagreement.
- Luka (to Alex) What's all that for?
- Alex: We're going to Florida. My dad's got a place by the beach where we can watch the whales migrate. Mom said it was OK.
- Luka: Alex, go back up!
- Alex: No!!!
- Luka: Alex, now!!!
- Steve: Easy, Hoss. Not your kid!
- Luka: Listen. You can take what you want, I don't care, but he's not going anywhere with you.
Refusal of Care [11.18]Edit
- Abby: How come you have to panhandle?
- Patient: Because they're not hiring at Hooters.
- Dr. Ray Barnett: [Ray's patient has cancer] Well, that sucks. She's a nice lady.
- Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yeah, I hear that's a risk factor for cancer.
- Debra: Who's gonna get me to the doctor all the time? Who's gonna stay with me when I'm spittin' up all night? Who's gonna help me up the stairs when I'm too weak to walk? Who's gonna do that? You?
Ruby Redux [11.19]Edit
- Carter (to Abby): When I was a student on my surgical rotation, Rubadoux's wife was very sick. She was part of this research study. When her results, uh... when she was no longer useful, there was a lot of pressure to get her out. So I did. I dumped her into a nursing home.
- Abby: Did she belong in one?
- Carter: We all figured she'd end up back in the hospital which would be on Medicine's shoulders, not ours.
- Abby: So...? Surgery dumps another patient on Medicine. Happens every day.
- Carter: I told Rubadoux that she was going to get better, told him that her situation was going to improve, told him what he wanted to hear... you know, when you're a student, you're so desperate for approval. You want everybody to like you: you want your patients to like you, you want their families to like you. Gotta be efficient too, though. You gotta impress your superiors.
- Abby: Yeah, you don't have to tell me. I'm still on the bottom rung of the ladder.
- Carter: I mean, when the Chief of Surgery tells you to get rid of her, you get rid of her.
- Abby: Yeah.
- Carter: And then she came back three days later, and she died and Rubadoux was so surprised. Ultimately it was the Attending's fault. It wasn't my responsibility.
- Carter (to Ray): I need to know everything about your patients. I need to know the status of every single one of them. I need to know how they are, where they are, where they're going, why they're going. You're still an intern, Ray. I'm the attending. I'm responsible.
- Ray: I'm sorry.
You Are Here [11.20]Edit
- Dr. Archie Morris: Excuse me everyone, I have an announcement to make... effective immediately, I am your new chief resident!
- Dr. Greg Pratt: ...this is a joke, right?
- Dr. Susan Lewis: This is my home! This is where I started! This is where I want to stay! Sometimes, I get this feeling that you want to be anywhere but here, Carter.
- Jerry: 2 words, Pratt, voice mail.
- Dr. John Carter: What's all that?
- Dr. Greg Pratt: Friends of mine begging me to go to a party after a long 12 hour shift. That's the problem with the non-medical types, they don't get it.
- Dr. Archie Morris: Par-tay tonight at Ike's! The boss man is buying, but dont get used to it. Who's on board?
- Dr. John Carter: [aside] Sometimes the medical types don't get it.
- Dr. Archie Morris: Ray?
- Dr. Ray Barnett: Uh, other plans.
- Dr. Archie Morris: Neela?
- Dr. Neela Rasgotra: The Apprentice is on.
Carter est Amoureux [11.21]Edit
- Meredith Smart - Couples Therapist: What are you feeling, Luka?
- Luka: I'm happy! I'm happy and Sam's not. I don't know why. We're healthy, we enjoy each other... our work. We have a good life.
- Meredith Smart - Couples Therapist: How does that make you feel, Sam?
- Sam : Like hitting him over the head with a hammer.
- Meredith Smart - Couples Therapist: So what brings you to me today?
- Sam : I don't think Luka and I should be together.
- Abby: Don't go away mad, Jake.
- Jake: But do go away, right?
- Susan: (to Luka) I know that Morris isn't the sharpest shovel in the shed, but he's a paperwork hound. Besides, it keeps him from seeing patients. Think of it as community service.
The Show Must Go On [11.22]Edit
- Carter: You set the tone, Morris.
- Morris: Huh?
- Carter: Never mind.
- Alex (to Sam): Where's Luka?
- Sam: He's at work.
- Alex: You still fighting?
- Sam: No.
- Alex: We're gonna have to move again, aren't we?
- Luka: OK, listen up! OK, first of all, you should all eat and drink well, because the party's on Weaver.
- Carter: That is a surprise.
- Luka: You guys who are still on duty, don't let me see a beer in your hand.
- Pratt: Eleven years, couldn't we spring for some caviar for the man?
- Luka: Anyway, ah, there's something my father would say when a friend went on a journey. And, he said it to me when I came to the United States first. So I thought of it today when I realized I wouldn't be working with this guy anymore. Not for a long time at least. Ah... my father would clasp the persons hand and say: We only part to meet again.
Cañon City [12.01]Edit
- Sam (about Alex when he visits Steve in prison): Steve doesn't care about us, but for some reason, that boy loves him.
- Sam: I'm like a bad trailer park version of myself.
Nobody's Baby [12.02]Edit
- Neela (to Clemons): Where's Ray?
- Clemons: He never came back down from labor and delivery.
- Neela: He probably stayed upstairs to hit on one of those OB nurses.
- Luka (to Sam): My father's been bugging me to visiting. I haven't been home in a long time, and I have some vacation time coming up. So I was thinking about making a trip back to Croatia. It will only be for a couple of weeks. Maybe good for us to spend some time apart. Alex and you can hang out, and you know...
- Sam: I've already started looking for a new place.
- Luka: A new place?
- Sam: For me and Alex.
- Luka: You're moving out?
- Sam: You just said you think it would be good for us to spend time apart.
- Luka: That's not what I meant!
- Sam: I was gonna tell you. I just think that it's... I need to think things out by myself.
- Luka: Where are you going now?
- Sam: I'm going to look for an apartment before work.
- Luka: So what, we don't talk about this?
- Sam: Never seemed to do us any good before.
- Morris: Abby, Ray, Neela. No brains, no courage, no heart. All they need is a trip to see the Wizard.
Man With No Name [12.03]Edit
- Morris: What do we do about this new nurse czar Eve something or other?
- Kerry: Peyton. She came in to meet with the Emergency Services Committee and we all loved her.
- Morris: Is it her job to slow the floor down to a crawl?
- Abby: I thought that was your job.
- Morris: My point being. All the nurses are in there, jacking away.
- Abby: They're entitled to a staff meeting, Morris.
- Morris: Not unless I say so... (Off Kerry's look) We say so... Not unless Dr. Weaver says so.
- Inez (to Abby about Morris): What does that guy do?
- Abby: Ah! He's the Chief Resident.
- Inez: No. Seriously.
Blame It on the Rain [12.04]Edit
- Frank: Aren't you two supposed to keep 50 feet apart or something?
- Sam : Bite me, Frank.
- Frank: If you ask me, you're better off without her.
- Luka: I didn't.
- Eve: All the department heads signed off on it, except Psych. Crazy bastards!
- Morris: That's nice Eve, maybe you can bring it up at your next "Nazi Nurse" rally.
- Abby (to a driver as she walks by): It's a crosswalk you ass...
- Haleh: What is that the rain turns the residents in this city into idiots?
Wake Up [12.05]Edit
- Pratt (to Clemente): Who are you?
- Clemente: Victor Clemente, your new attending and congratulations Doc, you just killed me.
- Abby: (to Luka) The last time I reached out to someone, Dubenko tried to make me his concubine.
- Morris: (about Clemente) He's annoying.
- Neela: You just said you liked his bloody shoes, you wanker!
- Morris: Just because he's annoying doesn't mean I can't like his shoes!
- Neela': (about Clemente) He's kind of hot.
- Abby: I thought you had a boyfriend.
- Neela: I do, but he's at war and so are my hormones.
Dream House [12.06]Edit
- Eve: Management is a bitch.
- Sam : Yeah, it's not the only one.
- Neela (to Ray): I'm sorry.
- Ray: Why? Because I talked myself into liking some groupie who turned out to be Hilary Duff with an STD?
- Abby: We should take a core temp.
- Neela: I'm not sticking anything up this monkey's ass.
- Abby: You know, if I had a nickel for everytime I said that.
- Clemente: (talking to Robo-Dubenko) This isn't a surgical consult, my friend. If you can't get out of bed and come in to work, I don't see why we have to listen to you. OK, little mechanical bitch?
The Human Shield [12.07]Edit
- Mr. Butler: I've got lawyers, lady.
- Sam : Yeah? Well, I've got Jerry, so unless you want to be carried out of here like a dirty diaper, I suggest you sit down.
- Frank: Well, if it isn't the "Hatchet Lady." Axe anybody else today?
- Sam : Stick a sock in it, Frank.
- Neela (about Clemente and Eve's mandatory meeting): They want us to express our feelings about what happened today.
- Luka: Well, today sucked. Good night.
- Clemente: This department needs a lot of work.
- Eve: Yeah, it needs a kick in the ass.
Two Ships [12.08]Edit
- Neela: Today was so... terrifying... and amazing. There was no labs, no x-rays, no rapid infusors or cut down trays, just me. Maybe it's the adrenaline, but I feel high. I need to go back out.
- Abby: Sounds like I need to call for a psych consult.
- Luka: Haleh?
- Haleh: Sam called. Good thing too. It's been over two weeks and my husband was driving me crazy.
I Do [12.09]Edit
- Abby: Dr. Kovac.
- Luka (grinning): Dr. Lockhart.
- Abby: Luka, there's something not right about Glenda.
- Morris: Hey, that sounds like a movie: "There's Something Not Right About Glenda", like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," shaky camera and stuff.
- Abby: Morris.
- Abby (to Luka): How was your little sit-down with Weaver this morning?
- Luka: Ah, she was telling me and Dr. Clemente how charming we are.
- Abby: Oh really?
- Luka: What, you don't think I'm charming? (grins)
- Abby: (grins) I think you're extremely charming. I just also think that...
- (Glenda interrupts with sudden movements)
- Luka: Whoa. Ah... She was telling us that we have to get along better, you know, be better impression to our residents and be more agreeable.
- Abby: Hm. Well, that's a lot to ask.
- Luka: What, you don't think I'm agreeable?
- Abby: I think you're agreeable, yeah.
- Luka: (smiles) Yeah, you still think I'm full of sh... (Glenda smacks Abby in the head)
- Abby: Ow!
All About Christmas Eve [12.10]Edit
- Eve (after she punches an obnoxious Santa in the nose for being rude to blind children caroling in the ER and then pours his urine sample on him): Ho, ho, ho, you piece of crap!
- (While responding to Luka's announcement that he is sending a resident home with pay)
- Morris: I.. I did the manual disimpaction!
- Ray: I did a pelvic on a three-hundred pounder!
- Neela: I debrided maggots out of a diabetic ulcer, you wankers!
- Pratt: This is going to jinx us into a night of trauma hell.
- Sam: Oh, come on. You can't fire Eve on Christmas Eve!
- Luka (to Eve after she gets fired): You'll be missed.
- Eve: Bite me!
If Not Now [12.11]Edit
- Ray (to Kerry): I need a few weeks off.
- Kerry: Why?
- Ray: My band got a recording deal. We're going to L.A.
- Kerry: Back away from the gurney or I will impale you with my crutch.
- Ray: Kerry.
- Kerry: Back off, Elvis.
- Luka: I don't want everything we have to come down to this one decision. (pauses) We can get past it. You did what you had to do. It doesn't mean we can't be together.
- Abby: I didn't do it. I couldn't. I want to keep it. I want us to have this baby.
- Neela: I am just trying to be professional.
- Kerry: It's annoying.
Split Decisions [12.12]Edit
- Luka (to Abby): So, if we have twins, we need to have four of everything?
- Abby: I'm not having twins.
- Luka: Ahh, identical twins run in my family.
- Abby: Are you kidding me?
- Luka: What? I mean, chances are really small.
- Abby: If your mutant Croatian seed causes me to have twins, I ...
- Luka: Listen, look at it from the sunny side. If we have a custody fight, each one of us is going to take a kid.
- Pratt (to Morris): Wait. What are you doing man? (Morris unbuttons his shirt) You got extra nipples?
- Morris: Yes! Red hair, porcelain skin and four nipples. You know what gym class was like for me growing up? Hey, nipple boy, here here little piggy, look it's the ugly suckling! I heard them all
- (Ray comes behind the curtain too)
- Morris: Hey! We don't knock?
- Ray: On a curtain? What are you guys doing with my patient anyway?
- Pratt: Nothing. Morris was just showing me his extra pair of nipples.
- Morris: Oh my God! I can't believe you just violated my doctor patient privilege!
- Pratt: I'm not your doctor, Morris and you sure as hell ain't my patient.
- Ray: Wow, look at those! That is freaky! You should get them all pierced, wear 'em like chain mail.
Body and Soul [12.13]Edit
- Lennox: I don't want to be a soul trapped in a corpse.
- Luka (to Lennox): People with degenerative diseases do best when they have . . .
- Lennox: Hope? Do you read the papers? Bush just banned funding for embryonic stem cell research. I'm trying to hold on to hope, Doctor, but nobody's cooperating these days.
Quintessence of Dust [12.14]Edit
- Ray: No more overnights for Abby.
- Morris: Yeah, Kovac, your woman's starting to sound a little cooky.
- Abby: Oh, Morris, I swear to God, if you ever- ever- refer to me as someone's 'woman' again, I will slap you silly with this hole-punch!
- Morris: Why are you still here?
- Abby: Uh, 'cause my fridge at home was empty and I was hungry
- Morris: [looking at the ice cream sandwich she is eating] Didn't I see you eating one of those 20 minutes ago?
- Abby: This is my third.
- Morris: Third? What are you, pregnant?
- [pause, then Abby tries to act like this idea is crazy]
- Abby: What? What are you talking about?
- Morris: Oh my God, you are!
- Abby: You're crazy.
- Morris: You are, aren't you??
- Abby: No...
- Morris: You are totally pregnant!
- Abby: So what, you're in love with Albright.
- Morris: I am not!
- Abby: Oh Morris, come on.
- Morris: You shut up.
- Abby: You shut up too.
- Morris: You shut up first!
- Pratt: Shut up about what?
- Morris: Nothing.
- Abby: Nothing.
- Carter: The Janjaweed have turned this place into the wild wild west.
- Kerry: Dr. Clemente is an excellent physician with some personal issues. That's certainly nothing new around here.
- Abby: (noticing a gift basket full of baby items) Hey, what's this?
- Frank: Oh, that's for you and the little bastard.
- Abby: Thanks, Frank.
- Kerry: Hey, congratulations!
- Abby: Thank you. It was supposed to be a secret. (looks pointedly at Morris)
- Morris: Wha- everybody was saying you were getting puffy! I was trying to defend you!
- Abby: I'm getting puffy?
- Luka: You're not getting puffy.
Out on a Limb [12.16]Edit
- Abby (to Morris): Got anything for me, Chief?
- Morris: Oh, yes. For you: Anal warts.
- Abby: Every girl's dream.
- Morris (to Neela about her cookies): Yeah, uhm... After careful consideration from your ER peers, plus Hector in janitorial services...
- Frank: Just the feeling is, your cookies are...
- Ray: The worst cookies ever made in the history of baking.
- Neela: (laughingly) Shut up. (long, silent pause, then angrily, while leaving) Bollocks to you all!
- Morris: (calling after Neela) The truth hurts!
- Morris (to Richard Elliott): Did you hit your head when you passed out?
- Richard Elliott: I don't think so, but then I was unconscious at the time.
Lost in America [12.17]Edit
- Dubenko: You know, I once ate a hash brownie before giving a big talk in Amsterdam. I mistakenly thought that it would take an hour to kick in...suddenly I was up on stage, completely out of my head, lecturing to a room full of biochemists in a faux French accent.
- Morris: Abby, you get fever rash. I will take dog bite to the ear lobe. Wait, no...you take dog bite and I'll take the rash. It could be Rubella. We wouldn't want our baby getting a torch infection.
- Abby: What?
- Morris: Torch infection. You know, herpes.
- Abby: I know what a torch infection is.
- Morris: Then you know it wouldn't be good for our baby.
- Abby: Why do you keep calling it "our" baby?
- Morris: I don't mean our baby like you and me. I mean like our baby, like an ER mascot.
- Abby: This baby isn't anybody's mascot. (she walks away).
- Morris: Oh, come on! Don't go away mad!
- Frank (while taking a picture of Morris with his "kids"): Okay, everybody say "Freak."
Strange Bedfellows [12.18]Edit
- Abby: Good Lord, what is that?
- Luka: What?
- Abby: That smell. It's really bad. It smells like... ass.
- Neela: You do realize how close you are to the ER?
- Luka: Abby, we...we need to finish our talk.
- Abby: No, we don't actually cause you know what, I understand.
- Luka: No, no you don't.
- Abby: No, I do.
- Luka: Listen...
- Abby: No, you listen, I - I mean...sorry. I just..I...I'm...you know what? I know that we're not married and um...and we don't live together and we really haven't defined our relationship and I know that that's mostly, probably all because of me, but you looked at me and said that we were going to do this together. And I know that you'll be back before the baby's born, but I just...I just hate that you wanna go, and I hate that I hate that you wanna go, but I'm just a little bit...scared, Luka and um...I don't want to do this by myself, but if I have to I - I can and I will.
- Luka: I'm sending Pratt.
- Abby: To help me with the baby?
- Luka: To Darfur. He... he... he.. He volunteered. Long story.
No Place to Hide [12.19]Edit
- Abby: (to Luka) Look, I know in Croatia you grew up like "Ozzie and Harriet" and I'm sorry you probably don't even know what "Ozzie & Harriet" is.
- Clemente: (to Pratt) Have fun in the motherland!
- Abby: The thing is, yes it's gonna get harder and harder, but that doesn't mean that right now they're not better off together.
- Luka: Like you were better off with your mother? (Abby gives him a look) Sorry.
There Are No Angels Here [12.20]Edit
- Pratt: Okay, either those are the good guys and we're saved or the bad guys and we're dead. Either way, I'm done walking.
- Pratt: What did she say?
- Dakarai: She said we were angels. I told her there are no angels here.
- Pratt: Speak for yourself.
The Gallant Hero and the Tragic Victor[12.21]Edit
- Michael: [On his video to Neela] So... hopefully you're never gonna see this thing. But if you are, then something went wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but certainly not according to plan. I love you, Neela. Marrying you was the happiest day of my life. You just, you make me strong. Now, I know you didn't want me to come back to Iraq. And if you're watching this, you owe me a big I told you so, but I did what I had to do. You're the most beautiful and kind person that I know. I just, want you to be happy. And just know that I'll always be with you. I want you to find somebody, get married, have a baby. Of course he won't be as fine as me, but you'll just gonna have to live with that. I love you Neela. Forever.
- Luka: Everything alright with you?
- Pratt: Yeah, why?
- Luka: Sometimes it can be a difficult transition, coming back to this place.
- Pratt: I'll be o.k. I was just a little rattled earlier. Cause of the whole Mike situation.
- Luka: Well, good to have you back.
- Pratt: Hey, thanks for making me go there.
- Luka: Someday maybe you can tell me all about it?
- Pratt: Yeah, someday.
- Clemente: Abby, You can't give me Haldol. You can't give me Haldol, Abby. I'm not crazy. You understand?
- Abby: It's o.k, it's o.k.
- Clemente: Hey Ray! Come here, buddy, come here. Come here buddy, come here buddy. These freaking chicks are losing their minds. Come here and help me man!
- Abby: Get Luka.
- Clemente: [to paramedic] What are you gonna amputate my leg? (to Ray) Yeah, run to daddy, little bitch. Run to daddy little bitch.
- Clemente: Get a head CT.
- Kovac: What is wrong with you?!
- Clemente: I'm trying to help you, that's all.
- Kovac: You don't listen to a word anybody says! You're all over the place!
- Ray: Did she just call you Mo?
- Morris: It'a nickname. For Morris.
- Abby: Or homo.
- Morris: Ey, don't worry. That little vixen is getting punished tonight. Oh yeah, she's in store for a little (sings) Mo, Mo, Morris. How do you like it, how do you like it? Oh, yeah, Morris!
- Ray: Get outta here.
- Morris: I swear! She invited me in for a drink, the door wasn't even closed, she was tearing my clothes off.
- Ray: Yeah, right.
- Morris: To quote my man Rick James, the girl is a superfreak. (sings) Superfreak, she's super freaky yeaow! She had sex toys I'd never seen before. They must've been German or something. One took two hands to operate.
- Ray: Morris!
- Morris: Check it out. (picks up his camera-phone) Oh yeah, I tapped that.
- Ray: What exactly am I looking at?
- Morris: That's Albright.
- Ray: Where?
- Morris: Right there!
- Ray: I've seen more convincing pictures of Bigfoot.
- Morris: But, but it was dark, I couldn't use the flash!
- (Luka and Abby discuss the possibility of taking a vacation while holding each other)
- Abby: We could hang out by a pool... the ocean...
- Luka: I could dig a hole in the sand for your big belly.
- Abby: (Abby looks up at Luka and smiles) What is that? Some sort of Croatian mating ritual?
- Luka: Uh-hum.
- Abby: Am I a sea turtle?
- Neela: I had to come home and find a photograph because I couldn't picture him in my head.
21 Guns [12.22]Edit
- Morris: I call no more kids. I'm sick of getting bit, kicked and pissed on.
- Abby: I guess that means you stopped dating too, huh?
- Kerry: You know, I'm not down there, Donald. I don't run the ER anymore.
- Dr. Anspaugh: Which leads me to a second issue. The board has concerns about Dr.Kovac's ability to manage the department.
- Kerry: You're not serious.
- Dr. Anspaugh: Are you satisfied with the job he's doing?
- Kerry: He's doing the best he can with what he has.
- [Luka and Abby discuss a name for their soon-to-be-born son.]
- Abby: We don't have a name.
- Luka: I was kind of hoping we could name him after my father.
- Abby: Really?
- Luka: Yeah. He would really love to have a grandson named Mongo.
- Abby: M-mongo?
- Luka: Yeah, it's a very popular name in Croatia.
- [Luka grins, and they both laugh.]
- Luka: I'm just kidding. My father's name is Josef. I don't care how we're gonna call him.
- [Abby and Luka head to the OR for Abby's C-section.]
- Abby: I want to be awake, Luka.
- Luka: You're OK. You're gonna be OK.
- Dr. Coburn: 12 of betamethasone.
- Abby: Oh, come on!
- Dr. Coburn: We have to mature the baby's lungs in case of an emergent birth.
- Abby: No, no, no, no, no! I have two and a half months left to go. This baby is not coming until then.
- Abby: Is one going to be enough?
- Luka: What?
- Abby: One baby. Um, my uterus wouldn't stop bleeding and Coburn did everything she could but...
- Luka: You had a hysterectomy? (Abby nods) Well, one is all we need.
- Sam : You know, Steve, I was gonna ask you what happened to you to turn you into this. But then I realized it was always in the cards from the moment that I met you. You were on your way to becoming exactly what you are now.
- Steve: I love him. I know you don't believe that. Especially right now. But I do.
- Sam : Yeah, you love him. Right. That's why you get some woman to snatch him from school and tie him up and leave him in a van. You don't even remember his medicine.
- Frank: You know, I always believed that nothing ever really changed. I'm old enough that I know that there's always gonna be trouble. War, taxes. Bad guys now are pretty much the same as bad guys have always been. That's not how I feel today. I feel like the world is getting worse and worse and worse. And that what we're watching is the slow, steady descent of the human race.
- Pratt: No, no, I don't buy that. I think that today was just a bad day for the whole team.
- [ Sam and Steve are in a high speed police chase. ]
- Sam : Let us out! You don't need us anymore!
- Steve: You're not prisoners, you're my family!
- Sam : You're going to get your family killed! Is that what you want?
- Dr. Coburn: You know I want you to have a healthy baby.
- Abby: Then why do you keep focusing on the worst-case scenario?!
- Luka: It's her job!
Graduation Day [13.02]Edit
- Frank: What'd you do, rob a pimp?
- Morris: Yeah, your dad says hi.
- Morris: I am not an ass-kissing company man; I'm an ass-kissing ER man, and I want my scrubs back.
- Frank: Do you want the walls eggshell or white?
- Kerry: Do I look like Martha Stewart? I'm the Chief of Staff, I've got real work to do.
Somebody to Love [13.03]Edit
- Morris: So, are you loving motherhood?
- Abby: Yeah, it's, ah, it's bizarre.
- Hope: Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?
- Morris: Jesus from accounting?
- Bennett Cray: It's all a beautiful lie that we tell ourselves. But it makes us feel better.
- Pratt: What's Morris's problem?
- Sam: Brain damage is the first thing that comes to mind.
- Abby: [to baby Joe] Can you say "Daddy is a butthead?"
- Pratt: Jane is like...
- Luka: What's wrong with Jane? She's good.
- Pratt: No, Jane is creepy. I'm serious. She's always sneaking up on me. She's like those twins in The Shining.
(moments later, Pratt turns around and sees Jane smirking at him)
- [Morris, who has a black eye and bruises on his face, accompanies a patient into the ER]
- Pratt: What the hell happened to you?
- Morris: I was attacked by ninjas?
- Pratt: [looks at the patient] Who's this?
- Morris: An obnoxious soccer dad... blunt head trauma, with LOC, breathing on his own. What's open?
- Pratt: Talk to me, Morris.
- Morris: Nothing to talk about! The guy came at me, I defended myself. I'm patching him up.
- Pratt: Why'd he come at you?
- Morris: Have you ever been to a kid's soccer game? [snatches the chart out of Pratt's hand dramatically and storms off] Parents are crazy!
Ames V. Kovac [13.05]Edit
- Abby: Didn't you used to be ... ?
- Gates: A paramedic? Yeah, now I'm an intern.
- Pratt: Next week he wants to be a cowboy.
- Gates: Astronaut.
- Luka: At the time of Mr. Ames's numbness there were 47 patients in the ER, 82 in the waiting room. I was treating a young mother who was the victim of domestic violence, nearly beaten to death; an 8-year-old hit by a car; and a 53-year-old heart attack victim. There are always sicker patients in the ER, and it was reasonable to believe Mr. Ames's numbness could wait!
- Abby: I just don't want to be one of those crazy obsessive mothers who phones their babysitter every hour.
- Gates: Mine used to tie me to my high chair. [Abby gives him a look] I'm sure yours is much better.
Heart of the Matter [13.06]Edit
- Gates: Women are weird.
- Frank: No, Neela's weird. Indian and Brit, bad combination.
- Ray: I move my hips!
- Weaver: Then move them over to admit.
- Crenshaw: Are you trying to irritate me?
- Abby: Well, you make it so easy!
- Morris: Hey, Sam?
- Sam : Yeah?
- Morris: He's our AMA patient from this morning, right?
- Sam : [takes a look] Yeah, the flu jerk
- Morris: I should've stayed a resident. No responsibilities, just heal 'em and deal 'em, that was the life.
- Sam : Morris, can I tell you something as a friend? (Morris nods) Sometimes you are such a little bitch! You make three times as much as I do, and for what? Give orders, instead of take them? Boo-hoo for you!
- Sam : How long have you been congested?
- Willis Peyton: I don't know, does it matter?
- Sam : No, I'm just making conversation.
- Hope: I lied to Samantha about something- and now she's really steamed.
- Archie Morris: Oooh- bad move. Piss one nurse off, piss 'em all off- it's like the mafia.
Reason to Believe [13.08]Edit
- Hope: Everybody needs something to believe in.
- Courtney: How do you come down from something like that?
- Kerry: Err, a glass of wine and a hot bath at the end of the day help.
- Courtney: Mmm, sounds good to me!
- Kerry: Errr, alright... [walks off playing nervously with her hair]
- Luka': [to Officer Hollis about Curtis Ames] Look, he followed my wife and child to the park. I'd like you to go and talk to him. Help me protect my family.
Scoop and Run [13.09]Edit
- Pratt: When [pauses] did you know you were gay?
- Weaver: Are you coming out to me, Greg?
- Pratt: No, no, no, no. I came home and found my brother with another guy.
- Weaver: Really?
- Pratt: Yeah. He says he's just experimenting, that it's only a phase.
- Weaver: And what do you think?
- Pratt: I don't know. Can a straight guy go through a gay phase?
- Weaver: I think it's more likely that he's gay. Hey, and he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear.
- Weaver: All right; how do you stay so skinny and eat so much?
- Courtney: Uh, look who's talking, little skinny mini.
- Pratt: Well, it seems like good genes to me.
- Courtney: You want to come over and watch some football with me and Kerry tomorrow?
- Pratt: [whispering to Weaver] Damn, you're lucky.
- [When Meg and Sarah walk in on Tony and Neela making out on the couch]
- Sarah: Oh, my God.
- Tony: Meg, Sarah, this is Neela.
- [There is a small pause and Sarah runs out]
- Meg: [in a voice dripping with contempt] How many times do I have to tell you Tony? [pauses] When you leave the glass directly on the wood, it leaves a stain.
Crisis of Conscience [13.16]Edit
- Dr. Lucien Dubenko: Save the cheerleader, save the world (TV-Show "Heroes" repeated quote)
Skye's The Limit [14.09]Edit
- [ Anspaugh announced a temporary Chief ]
- Morris:Here we go again.
- [Sam gave to Frank an order ]
- Frank: I liked you better when you were a blonde.
- [when Morris told her to squeeze the exercise balls]
- Sam :Archie, you couldn't pay me to touch your balls
Life After Death [15.01]Edit
- Morris: Raise your cheese as we embrace the memory of our colleague, our mentor, our chief, our dear friend... To Greg!
The Book of Abby [15.03]Edit
(As Abby Lockhart leaves County for the last time)
- Chuny: Bye, Abby.
- Morris: Excuse me?
- Sam: She's leaving, Archie.
- Morris: When?!
- Gates: Now, you idiot.
And in the End ... [15.22]Edit
[turning to Mark Green's grown up daughter Rachel]
- Carter: : Dr. Greene... you coming? (last non-diagnostic line in the series)
- Seventh Disaster Paramedic: Tight wheezing throughout the ride, pulse ox 88.
- Morris: Check for singed nosehairs from smoke inhalation. Set up for intubation.
- Eighth Disaster Paramedic: 38-year-old man. 12-foot fall, no sensation from the waist down.
- Morris: Tracy, CT, L-spine, page neurosurgeon. Go! (final lines in the series)