ER

ER (1994–2009) is a long running medical drama that follows the lives of doctors and nurses in a Chicago emergency room.

Season 1

24 Hours [1.1]

Benton: Do you know how to start an IV?
Carter: Uh, actually, no.
Benton: I thought you were third year.
Carter: I am, but all I've done is dermatology and psychiatry.
Benton: The well-dressed specialties, huh?
Mark: See, there's two kinds of doctors. The kind that gets rid of their feelings. And the kind that keeps them. If you're going to keep your feelings, you're going to get sick from time to time. That's just how it works.
Mark: …by the way, I went to medical school with Dr. Benton. He used to get sick all the time. So, don't let him give you any crap. You'll be fine.
Ross: (to the mother of a battered baby) How dare you treat your child like this? He's a little kid! I try to be understanding in my job, but lady, this just stinks.
Susan: Mr. Parker, if there's one thing you learn in my job, it's that nothing is certain. Nothing that seems very bad and nothing that seems very good. Nothing is certain. Nothing.
Benton: (having first spotted Carter) Oh, no! Would you look at this?
Mark: That's the first tailored white coat I've ever seen.
Benton: Isn't he lovely?
Susan: Lovely.
Mark: Do you think he knows anything?
Ross: He knows how to dress.
Patient: Are you married?
Susan: No, I'm a doctor.
Dr. Morgenstern: The unit's looking to you, Mark. You set the tone.

Day One [1.2]

Benton: [Carter gives him an H&P on a patient] Mother's maiden name?
Haleh: He's kidding.
Mark: [about Carol's suicide attempt] It's not your fault, Doug. You're going to have to forgive yourself sooner or later.
Doug: I thought you were some kind of saint. I was going to start calling you Mahatma.

Going Home [1.3]

[Earlier in the show, Carol attempted suicide by overdosing on barbituates.]
Carol: I'm here to unload that new shipment of barbituates.
Jerry: At least you didn't kill off your sense of humor.
Carol: No, just a few brain cells.

Hit and Run [1.4]

Carter: You ever get used to this?
Benton: Used to what?
Carter: Going on three hours sleep.
Benton: Anything more than three hours and I'm sluggish all day.
Mark: I was embraced by two men today. I find that highly unusual.
Susan: Some guys have all the luck.
Walt: [to Benton] No, don't hand me that OR crap, already know how important your job is compared to the small events of my life.

Into that Good Night [1.5]

Sam: How's your heart?
Mark: Pretty good shape.
Sam: Want to lend it to me for the weekend? Naw. You got better things to do with it. Do 'em all. You never know when you'll get the chance.
Carter: What's he doing?
Susan: Practicing one-handed knots. He'd do it with his teeth if he could.
Benton: No I wouldn't. You can't wear a glove on your teeth.
Sarah: My mom says my dad's gonna die.
Mark: Yes, he is.
Sarah: Why can't you fix him?
Mark: We can't fix everything.
Susan: At your age Ryan Sandberg was retired.
Doug: At my age Mozart was dead.

Chicago Heat [1.6]

Mark: Jerry, if this guy's still here in the morning, why don't we get some shovels and bury him in the parking lot.
Rachel: Did you make him all better?
Benton: Who?
Rachel: The boy in the green room.
Benton: [to Mark] The gunshot victim.
Mark: They tried really hard, Rachel. But he died.
Rachel: Will his mommy be sad?
Mark: Very sad.
Rachel: [to Benton] Are you sad?
Benton: Yeah.
Rachel: If you're sad, why aren't you crying?
[Benton kneels beside Rachel.]
Benton: I am. [touches Rachel's heart.] Right here.
Rachel: If I got hurt, would you fix me?
Mark: Yes, I would.
Rachel: You wouldn't let me die?
Rachel: My daddy's your doctor.
Kanesha: He helped me be better.
Rachel: [whispers] That's what doctors do.
[A car has slammed through the ER doors.]
Doug: Jerry, call security. Somebody's in my parking space.

Another Perfect Day [1.7]

Mark: We're going to have to do a lumbar puncture. You ever done one?
Carter: Uh no, but I've seen it done.
Mark: See One, Do One, Teach One.

9 1/2 Hours [1.8]

Mae Benton : Carter? You got people in Tennessee?
Carter: On my father's side.
Mae Benton : I think his people owned our people.

ER Confidential [1.9]

Doug: I'm not a grownup doctor.
Lydia: We all know that, but everyone else's busy.

Blizzard [1.10]

[Carol is pushing a biker in a wheelchair.]
Carol: You know what we call motorcycles around here, Ace?
Patient: No. What?
Carol: Donor-cycles.
Patient: [laughs] Donor-cycles. I like that.
Carol: You would.
Morgenstern: How are we doing?
Doug: One step ahead of the Reaper.
Morgenstern: Thats all you can ask for.

The Gift [1.11]

Carter: Oh God, I killed Santa.
Doug: [to Carol] Tell him that you don't love me. Tell him that you don't think about me when you're with him.

Happy New Years [1.12]

Hicks: When I was a resident, I was always worried about getting people's approval, the attendings', the patients', maybe because I was a woman, a black woman. Life was a lot easier once I got over it. Don't let the patients get to you, Dr. Lewis. We treat them as soon as we can and there's no need to apologize for how long it takes. We are a busy hospital, not a restaurant.

Luck of the Draw [1.13]

[Deb Chen is performing a rectal.]
Carter: How's it going in there, Deb?
Chen: I'm stuck.
Carter: Deb?
Chen: Yes?
Carter: Did you use a lubricant?
Chen: Was I supposed to?
Morgenstern: That's what I love about you, Peter: Naked ambition tempered by arrogance.
Haleh: [discussing Deb's examination of an unconscious Carter] The term isn't average male genitalia, it's normal male genitalia.
Doug: [talking about Linda Farrell] Serious? Our longest phone conversation is "Get over here."

Long Day's Journey [1.14]

February Fifth, 1995 [1.15]

Carter: You ever put in a foley?
[Deb shakes her head.]
Carter: You're in for a treat.
Mark: [in a noisy helicopter] Hell of a life isn't it?
Paramedic: What?
Mark: Its a hell of a life.
[The paramedic points to his ear.]
Mark: I said, I want to have sex with your wife.
[The paramedic gives a thumbs up.]

Make of Two Hearts [1.16]

The Birthday Party [1.17]

Sleepless in Chicago [1.18]

Love's Labor Lost [1.19]

Mark: How do I deliver this baby?

Susan: Are you asking me?

Mark: No, I'm asking God.

Full Moon, Saturday Night [1.20]

House of Cards [1.21]

Men Plan, God Laughs [1.22]

Love Among the Ruins [1.23]

Motherhood [1.24]

Everything Old is New Again [1.25]

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Season 2

Welcom Back, Carter! [2.01]

Summer Run [2.02]

Do One, Teach One, Kill One [2.03]

What Life? [2.04]

And Baby Makes Two [2.05]

Days Like This [2.06]

Hell and High Water [2.07]

The Secret Sharer [2.08]

Home [2.09]

A Miracle Happens Here [2.10]

[Carol is trying to convince everyone in the ER to go upstairs and join her in caroling for recovery, with no luck.]
Carol: Well, you just mouth the words. That’s what I do.
Susan: Well who sings?.....
Carol: Well I’m working on that. [Carter walks by. Carol smiles, pleasently] Carter!-
Carter: No, no, no, no. Chronic tonedeaf and acute stage fright.
[Carol is alone in recovery now, caroling without any other ER docs- horribly.]
Carol: On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....uhhh....
[All the other ER docs enter surprisingly and start singing.]
Doug: 12 tonedeaf doctors.
Mark: 11 lords a lording.
Susan: 10 drummers drumming.
Carter: 9 something something.
Lydia: 8 maids a milking.
Malik: 7 swans a swatting.
Harper: 6 geese a gagging.
Everyone: 5 golden rings! 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree!

Dead of Winter [2.11]

True Lies [2.12]

It's Not Easy Being Greene [2.13]

The Right Thing [2.14]

Baby Shower [2.15]

The Healers [2.16]

The Match Game [2.17]

A Shift in the Night [2.18]

Fire in the Belly [2.19]

Fevers of Unknown Origin [2.20]

Take These Broken Wings [2.21]

[Kerry agrees to go with Mark’s recommendations for Susan for chief resident only if Mark agrees to go with Kerry for the attending position.]
Kerry: So you really think Susan Lewis would make a good chief resident?
Mark: Yes, I do. [Kerry leaves]
Conni: What was that about?
Mark: I think I just sold my soul to the devil

John Carter, M.D. [2.22]

[Trying to get Carter's attention]

Susan: Dr. Carter! [Carter ignores while putting on his new lab coat]... Dr. Carter! [still no response] DR. CARTER!!!

Carter: Oh Crap. Coming

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Season 3

Dr. Carter, I Presume [3.01]

Jerry: Dr. Carter, I presume.

Let the Games Begin [3.02]

Dr. David Morgenstern: "funny how life is so like surgery.. sometimes you can make that rocky davis in that right lower quadrant.. and then there are those days when your bowel ruptures and spells into your peritonium and all you are left with is intense pain and sepsis.. oh brother, my kingdom for a tenblade when that happens !"

Don't Ask, Don't Tell [3.03]

Ross: "Guys who are interested in having sex with you, aren’t necessarily interested in you, you know. If you want to be special, you have to wait for the right guy. I would suggest waiting a long time.“

Last Call [3.04]

Mark: I've given it a lot of thought, and I've decided to be spontaneous.

Ghosts [3.05]

Fear of Flying [3.06]

Susan: I'm hyperventilating, leave me alone.

No Brain, No Gain [3.07]

Union Station [3.08]

[Susan is moving to Arizona, and Mark is seeing her off]
Susan: [As her train begins to pull away] I do love you!
Mark: What?
Susan: I love you... bye!

Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies [3.09]

Carol: Have you seen Mark? Is he okay?
Doug: Put it this way, he called a staff meeting.
Carol: Mark Greene?
Doug: Yep.
Carol: Glasses? Receding hair line? Broken heart?
Doug: That's the one.

Homeless For the Holidays [3.10]

Night-Shift [3.11]

Post Mortem [3.12]

Fortune's Fools [3.13]

Whose Appy Now? [3.14]

Doyle: I can't believe what an exciting procedure we're doing!

Carter: I know.

Hicks: Change of plans, we're doing the appy.

Carter: The Appy?!?

Hicks: Disappointed?

Carter: Well, yeah.

Hicks: You haven't seen the patient yet/


[Carter looks over and sees Benton. He, of course is mad at him because he thinks he killed Gant]

Carter: Oh! Ohhhhhh... there is a god!

The Long Way Around [3.15]

Faith [3.16]

Tribes [3.17]

You Bet Your Life [3.18]

Calling Dr. Hathaway [3.19]

Random Acts [3.20]

Make a Wish [3.21]

One More For the Road [3.22]

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Season 4

Ambush [4.1]

Carol: [to documentary film crew] You know, actually it's a myth about doctors and nurses dating so much. I mean, I know more nurses who date cops, firemen, paramedics. Now that cliche is true.
Conni: Especially cops.
Chuny: Especially young cops.
Kerry: [to documentary film crew] Sometimes I hesitate with a family before I give the news. I know I'm going to say something that will change their lives forever.
Carol: You think that if you don't say it it'll be okay for a little while longer.
Doug: I told this one mother that her son had been killed, and she said 'is it broken?' I'm looking at her, I don't know what she's saying. I'm just staring at her. So she said, 'his arm, is it broken? He's pitching tomorrow.' She just walked away.
Kerry: Did you just let her leave like that?
Doug: No, no. I called Carol and had her take care of it. [looks at camera] That's a true story.

Something New [4.2]

Doug: Ketchup or Tabasco? On your scrambled eggs. Do you want something some people consider a vegetable or do you want to go with something a little more daring? You thought I left, didn't you?
Carol: No, I didn't.
Doug: Yes, you did.
Carol: No, really, I didn't. Okay, I did. But you kind of did leave technically.
Doug: Well that doesn't count. If you had gotten up a little earlier you would have seen me here sound asleep.
Carol: Some habits die hard.
Doug: You sleeping in.
Carol: Like you not being here in the morning.
Doug: That's an old habit!
Doug: I've got to talk to you about something
Carol: Oh, Doug. Not another serious conversation.
Doug: You used to say we didn't communicate, so --
Carol: I know, but now you're communicating a little bit too much.
Doug: I know, but this is important. Can I have a drawer?
Carol: [laughs] What?
Doug: A drawer. Something you keep your clothes in. Something that I would keep my clothes in.
Carol: You never wanted a drawer before.
Doug: Well, that's because I always got up and left. If I'm going to stay here, I thought about maybe having some place to keep one shirt and a nice pair of socks. I'd settle for underwear.
Carol: You know, you could always wash your boxers in the sink and drive by in the morning.
Doug: I love sitting out here on the porch with you. It's --
Carol: Something new.
Doug: Something new.

Friendly Fire [4.3]

Doug: Carol. Hey! I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.
Carol: I'm busy.
Doug: I'm just going to follow you around until you hear me out.
Carol: Why follow me? Why not follow her?
Doug: If I didn't have to do this secrecy tap dance I could have told her --
Carol: I think this secrecy thing works just fine.
Doug: I didn't flirt with her!
Carol: Oh, no. She asked you out for a drink because she likes the way you hold an ice pack.
Doug: I told her that I was attached. I didn't say with whom I was attached. I didn't say Carol Hathaway was my --
Carol: What? I'm your what?
Doug: Come here. I want to be with you and I want to be here with you because I want to be with you. If you don't trust me then this doesn't work.
Doug: [is surprised by Carol kissing him] I had prepared a very elaborate argument. Does this mean I don't need it?
Carol: I already had the argument. With myself.
Doug: I hope there wasn't any name calling involved.
Carol: No, it was very civil. You won.
Doug: Oh, so I do better when I'm not there?
Carol: [laughs] This time, yeah.
Doug: So do you trust me?
Carol: This time.
Doug: Are you keeping score.
Carol: Yep. You're ahead.
Doug: [grins] I'm sorry, what?

When the Bough Breaks [4.4]

Anna: How did you ever go out with that guy?
Carol: What guy?
Anna: Ross. Didn't you used to date him? I mean, if he's that patronizing to me, I can't imagine what he's like with the women he goes out with.
Carol: He's seen that patient before. Mrs. Landon is just comfortable with him.
Anna: Yeah, because he's a man.
Carol: Well, some people are old fashioned.
Kerry: Doug has difficultly dealing with strong women.
Carol: I don't know about that.
Kerry: If he can't charm or vilify you, he's lost.
Carol: Now that's not true.
Mark: Carol, I got that autopsy report on the crack baby. He died in utero two days ago.
Carol: Well, I guess we're both off the hook.
Mark: Carol, it wasn't a matter of me believing your or not believing you. I would have been on your side.
Carol: Well, maybe if you'd been on the patient's side earlier none of this would have happened.
Mark: What?
Carol: I checked her chart. That woman had been in here four times in the past seven months. You saw her twice and never once did a pregnancy test.
Mark: Was there reason to?
Carol: Evidently, yes.
Mark: So we're supposed to give pregnancy tests to every female crackhead who comes through the door?
Carol: That's not what I'm saying.
Mark: Then what?
Carol: God forbid this woman every finds out what her real malpractice suit is. I would back you up. Say there was no reason for a pregnancy test. The fact is, we should have done something.
Mark: What? What should we have done? We can't help people who can't help themselves.
Carol: No, Mark, those are exactly the people we should be helping.

Good Touch, Bad Touch [4.5]

Ground Zero [4.6]

Doug: You've been in a bad mood for months and I don't know how to talk to you anymore.
Mark: Then don't. [walks away]
Doug: All right.
Carol: What's the statute of limitations on post-traumatic stress?
Doug: Cut him some slack.
Carol: I think we've all cut him plenty. He needs some help.
Doug: He doesn't need a shrink. He needs friends who support him.
Carol: He's not going to have any friends, supportive or otherwise, if he keeps this up.
Carol: I'm going to miss you.
Doug: I love you, Carol. [drives away]
Carol: I love you, too.

Fathers and Sons [4.7]

Doug: He never drove less than 70 miles per hour his entire life. He would think it was funny to drive with his knees, his eyes closed, like it was some sort of game. Idiot. He can't even kill himself right. He has to take other people with him. Leave me to clean up the mess.
Mark: I don't think your dad planned on dying down here, Doug.
Doug: He never planned on doing anything his entire life. He didn't plan to lose our TV in a poker game. He never planned to be gone for more than a couple days. He never planned to hurt anybody in his whole life.
Mark: Your dad lost your television in a poker game?
Doug: I should have killed him myself. Saved everybody the trouble.
Doug: [on the phone, leaving message] Hey, Carol, it's Doug. I was hoping to catch you before you went to work. I'm here in Barstow and we're cleaning up. I was just thinking about you, wishing you were here. I just miss you. I just wish you were here, is all. [Mark walks into the motel room] So, I'll call you tomorrow. Okay, bye. Hey!
Mark: Who was that?
Doug: Somebody I've been seeing the last couple of months.
Mark: Couple of months? That sounds serious.
Doug: Do you want any of these ties before I give them to Goodwill?
Mark: I only wear ties to work. Is it anybody I know?
Doug: I've got a suit here. I've got an Armani. I believe it's double-breasted.
Mark: You don't want to tell me who it is?
Doug: He had a set of clubs somewhere, I think.
Mark: Why is it that you don't want to tell me who it is?
Doug: Because I don't.
Mark: It's not my ex-wife, is it?
Doug: No, it's not Jennifer.
Mark: Cynthia?! You're not, are you?
Doug: No, and neither should you.
Mark: Jeanie? Chuny? Anna?
Doug: Are you planning on naming everybody who works at the hospital?
Mark: She doesn't work at the hospital?
Doug: It's Carol.
Mark: What?
Doug: Carol Hathaway. You're mouth's open.
Mark: I'm speechless.
Doug: Well, I'm relieved.
Mark: You didn't miss much not having your dad around when you were growing up. Believe me.
Doug: That's kind of a crappy thing to say, isn't it?
Mark: It wasn't my idea to come down here.
Doug: Don't stay.
Mark: Don't worry, I won't.
Doug: I'm confused. Your father's still alive, right? He's still with your mother?
Mark: Oh, so that's your criteria for a good father? Longevity?
Doug: Did he smack you around a lot? Used to smack your mom around?
Mark: Oh, poor Doug.
Doug: Wait. Poor Doug? Your father, did he come into your room in the middle of the night and throw up on your bed and pass out? Did he do that? Did he leave you in a hallway in Atlantic City while he screwed some hat check girl, Mark? Did he do that? Did he do that, Mark?! Your father was there for you every night, you and your mother, and that's love. And whether it's the way you want it or not! It's love, Mark. You grew up in Ozzie and Harriet-land. Get your head out of your ass!
Mark: Do you want to say anything?
Carol: A prayer?
Doug: No. I hated the son of a bitch. And I loved him. It's never simple, is it?

Freak Show [4.8]

Obstruction of Justice [4.9]

Do You See What I See? [4.10]

Think Warm Thoughts [4.11]

Sharp Relief [4.12]

Carter's Choice [4.13]

Family Practice [4.14]

Exodus [4.15]

My Brother's Keeper [4.16]

A Bloody Mess [4.17]

Gut Reaction [4.18]

Shades of Gray [4.19]

Of Past Regreat and Future Fear [4.20]

Suffer the Little Children [4.21]

A Hole in the Heart [4.22]

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Season 5

Day For Knight [5.01]

Corday: (to Lucy) Now, don't let the residents abuse you. You're here to learn, not to be their indentured servant.
Weaver (to Lucy): So, I haven't had much of a chance to work with you today. I trust everything is going well?
Lucy: Yes. You know, pretty well for a first day.
Weaver: In other words, it's been completely hateful, huh?
Lucy: Did I say the wrong thing?
Greene: In general, it's probably not a good idea to show up the residents.
Lucy: So, I should give the wrong answer?
Greene: Tricky, isn't it?
Chuny: Welcome aboard.

Split Second [5.02]

Lucy: Right, Dr. Carter?
Jerry: Please don't call him Dr. Carter. We'll never be able to live with him.
Lucy: What should I call you?
Jerry: He's just...Carter.
Carter: Dr. Carter will be fine.
Weaver (to Greene): You know, I think it's a wise move for you. Great research opportunities in EMS.
Greene: Well, I'm actually more interested in coordinating paramedic care.
Weaver: And for once, you and I would not be in competition. Field work was never my forte.
Greene: You wouldn't want this job, Kerry. There's no money, no power, no glory.
Weaver: Yeah, right. It doesn't fit into my Machiavellian scheme to rule the Emergency Department.
Romano: I couldn't do it, work with family.
Corday: Robert, you can't work with anyone.
Olbes (to Greene): Hold on. Are you telling me that the EMS Medical Director is a real person?
Greene: He's an ER doc.
Olbes: Huh. I thought it was just a name they stuck on the top of memos.
Greene: Not when I do it.

They Treat Horses, Don't They? [5.03]

Greene: You need to make a decision, Kerry. Do you want to be a doctor or an administrator? I'm going to go examine a horse.
Ross: (after reading from Weaver's performance review of him): That's right, Kerry. I'm a psycho.
Carter (when Randi stares at his beard): What?
Randi: You're starting to look kinda mythical.

Vanishing Act [5.04]

Weaver: I never know how to answer that question about my weaknesses.
Greene: Yeah. Well, I could've helped you out there.
Romano: (to Corday) You can wear the long coat; it looks better on you.

Masquerade [5.05]

Carter: Okay, party's over; you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!
Lucy: What's wrong, was the music too loud?
Carter: No, the furniture was too on fire.

Stuck On You [5.06]

Dr. Parks: Do you know any deaf people, Dr. Benton?
Benton: No. No, I don't.
Dr. Parks: Have you ever thought that being deaf might not be so terrible?
Benton: So, you're saying there's no problem?
Dr. Parks: You can never know what it's like to be deaf. Just like I can never know what it's like to be black.
Benton: I don't look at me being black as a burden. That's who I am.
Dr. Parks: And I don't look at my deafness as a burden. That's who I am. If you turn away from your son's deafness, you will be robbing him of his identity.
Benton: My son has a medical problem. I'm not turning away from anything. I'm trying to fix it.

Hazed and Confused [5.07]

Amanda Lee: If you don't mind me saying, I'm one of the baddest ER bitches out there.

The Good Fight [5.08]

Carter (to Lucy): Some patients get to you more than others, I know. But when you do everything that you can, sometimes even more than you thought you could, you've got to walk away knowing you fought the good fight. You fought the good fight, Lucy. Tomorrow you'll fight another one.

Good Luck, Ruth Johnson [5.09]

Weaver: Carter! I am not your mother! Now, for the last time, get up!

The Miracle Worker [5.10]

Romano: You're a resident, Peter. You don't take a piss without asking permission.
Weaver: Jerry, next time you want to make an ass out of yourself, leave me out of it. OK?

Nobody Doesn't Like Amanda Lee [5.11]

Tony: (answering the phone) ER. If you're sick, we'll fix you quick.

Double Blind [5.12]

Lucy: (about Romano) So, should I feel special or does he stare at everyone's breasts?
Corday: No, only the females as far as I know.

Choosing Joi [5.13]

The Storm, Part 1 [5.14]

(Talking about the Titanic with Lucy and Dale.)
Carter: Leonardo DiCaprio, hoop skirts, and tragic love is kinda my idea of hell on earth.
Kerry: What about Ross?
Romano: Take him out back and shoot him.
Kerry: Damn it, Jerry, if you don't stop watching TV, I'm gonna rip it off the wall with my bare hands and beat you to death with it.

The Storm, Part 2 [5.15]

Carter: Oh, Chuny. Hi.
Chuny: Hi.
Carter: You got a minute?
Chuny: Sure. What's up?
Carter: Umm. Earlier, with Lucy and I. I'm sure that you have your suspicions about what we were doing in there. But, actually, we were just..
Chuny: Knocking boots?
Carter: What?
Chuny: Doing the old nasty? Hey, the more the merrier, I say.
Carter: Actually we weren't doing anything.
Chuny: Mm-hmm.
Carter: I mean, she's a med student, you know? I'm a..resident.
Chuny: That stuff happens all the time.
Carter: Lucy's like- Lucy's like a little..sister, or something, to me.
Chuny: Ah. You do that with your little sister?
Carter: Nothing happened! We didn't do anything! Do you - Do you hear what I'm tell - and besides, I already have a girlfriend.
Chuny: Ahh. That insurance lady?
Carter: She's a financial advisor.
Chuny: Hm.
Carter: Roxanne and I have a lot in common.
Conni: Units are pulling up!
Chuny: She's too pushy, you know. Always trying to sell you something. I'd stick with Lucy. You two make a cute couple.
Carter: We are not a couple!
Kerry: Are there seatbelts on the bus?
Mark: No.
Kerry: We've got airbags in every new car in America, but we're sending our kids off like lambs to the slaughter.

Middle of Nowhere [5.16]

(When Jeanie's nose is bleeding and Peter reaches out with a tissue)
Jeanie: Peter, don't touch me, for God's sake! I'm poison.

Sticks and Stones [5.17]

Corday: Mark's just trying to be a friend in that endearing slightly-inept-male kind of way.

Point of Origin [5.18]

Corday: I've found a way to limit my Romano exposure.
Benton: Oh, yeah, what's that? Garlic?
Weaver (while treating a woman who gave birth in the street): Did they find the placenta?
Paramedic: She said a dog ate it.
Haleh: Oh, lord.

Rites of Spring [5.19]

Carter (to Lucy): Are you back with us?
Lucy: No, I'm still on Psych.
Carter: Well, you'll be back doing real medicine soon, so don't get too used to the cush life.
Lucy: Yeah, I won't.

Power [5.20]

[Romano has just started operating when the power goes out]
Romano: Wish I hadn't just made that incision...
Carol: I mean, do we even pretend to be living in a democracy anymore? It's just a medieval power play between career Republicans and Democrats and who hates who more. If there were still guillotines and burning at the stake, I swear they'd be doing that too.
Carol: I need to fax this.
Jerry: Be my guest. Or do you want me to...?
Carol: Oh, no thanks, it's kind of personal. I'll do it myself if that's okay.
Jerry: Do I look like Kerry Weaver?
Romano (to Haleh): What? You didn't think I had a mother, did you?
Haleh: Just trying to picture her.

Responsible Parties [5.21]

Carter: (to Chuny) I keep my love life out of the work place, thank you very much.
Jerry: Since when?

Getting To Know You [5.22]

(While Carol is having an ultrasound)
Carol: What? Mark, what?
Mark: Heartbeat.
Carol: Yes, Mark, Elizabeth already said that. What?
Elizabeth: No, what he means is... there are two heartbeats.
Carol: (shocked) Twins?!
Mark: Elizabeth, I don't know, I don't know what's going to happen...but I do know how I feel and I feel like I've found something amazing, and I want to be here. I want to get to know you. We cannot be scared. I would hate to miss another boat. (they kiss for the first time)
↑Jump back a section

Season 6

Leave it to Weaver [6.01]

Vanilla Latte Boy (to Carol): Warm milk is nasty.
Carol: Really? And what are you having?
Vanilla Latte Boy: Double tall vanilla latte.
Carol: A latte. Don't you know that coffee stunts your growth?
Vanilla Latte Boy: That is so not true!
Carol: Do your parents let you drink it?
Vanilla Latte Boy: What are you, the coffee police?
Luka (while carrying a 5-year-old girl named Michelle through a chaotic ER): Have you ever been to the circus?
Michelle: No.
Luka: You have now.
Lucy: Dr. Finch, do you always jog to work?
Cleo: It's only four miles.
Weaver: Kind of makes you want to dislike her, doesn't it?
Vanilla Latte Boy (to Luka): I don't get this. You're a regular doctor...
Luka: Yes.
Vanilla Latte Boy: ...But you don't work here.
Luka: No, I do work here, but only when they need me. I'm what they call a "Moonlighter."
Vanilla Latte Boy: Because you're from another country?
Luka: No, because I only work here from time to time, when they need me.
Vanilla Latte Boy: And they needed you today because of the truck crash!
Luka: (sighs) No. I'm here because one of the regular doctors...
Vanilla Latte Boy: I thought you said you were one of the regular doctors.
Luka: I just fill in when someone else is absent.
Vanilla Latte Boy: Oh, I get it! You're like a sub!
Luka: A sub...? Yeah, yeah. I'm a sub.
Vanilla Latte Boy: What kind of accent is that?
Luka: (sighs again) Thick!
Carol (to Luka): So, you took that little girl in to see her mother?
Luka: Yes.
Carol: Even though Dr. Weaver and Dr. Greene didn't think it was a good idea?
Luka: Oh, mostly they're not sure if I'm a good doctor.
Carol: Why do you say that? This is like the second or third time you've worked here, isn't it?
Luka: Yeah. Enough time for them to stop calling me Dr. Kovac. You know, when people are not sure, they tend to keep things more formal. I hope you will be happy enough with your sutures to call me Luka. I took the girl in because, uh, children need to know, need to see, even if what they see is not good. It's still better than being in the dark, you know? Having... that kind of fear.

Last Rites [6.02]

Lucy: Dr. Dave, how much should I lower his O2?
Malucci: Oh, I don't know. Crank it down. If he turns blue, crank it up.
Lucy: You're kidding, right?
Malucci: No. Purple ain't good.
Malucci (to Cleo): Hey, Jackie Joyner. Nice spandex.
Cleo: Get a life...

Greene With Envy [6.03]

Mark: (about not being consulted regarding the hiring of Gabe Lawrence) Couldn't you have the courtesy to at least tell me first? It's called respect, Kerry. Hey, look, it's even on your stupid badge.
Carter (to Elaine): I want you to know that I'm here for you and that for me this wasn't just about...
Elaine: Sex?
Carter: Yeah, it wasn't about that.
Elaine: It was for me. And if we're talking "needs" John, I don't need you to feel sorry or worried or tender or anything. I just need you to go away.
Carter: I don't want to go away.

Sins of the Fathers [6.04]

Benton (to Malucci): Do you know what it means to be skating on thin ice?
Malucci: Okay, this is me, backing off.
Malucci (about Dr. Lawrence): What's with the new guy?
Greene: Oh, which new guy would that be? Dr. Lawrence or you?
Romano (to Corday): Lizzie, when you assume, you make an ass out of 'you' and 'me.' Oh, never mind...

Truth & Consequences [6.05]

Dave: Hey, how you doing, Jesse? I'm Dr. Dave.
Patient: I'm not feeling too well.
Dave: Well, what seems to be the problem?
[The patient throws up.]
Dave: That's...colorful.
Malucci (to Greene): Have you always been at County?
Greene: Going on 10 years.
Malucci: Damn! Guys who kill their entire families don't get 10 years.
Greene: It's not a prison, Dave.
Malucci: I don't know about that. Doctor Weaver sure acts like a warden.
Dr. Lawrence: (to Kerry) For the record, my way may be older, but its still faster and better...kinda like me.

The Peace of Wild Things [6.06]

Carol (to Mark): I got a pregnant junkie arrested for possession so she could get clean in jail and give the baby a chance.
Mark: Want to talk about it? Drown our sorrows in a couple of ginger ales?
Dr. Lawrence (about being diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease): I was thinking of committing suicide, but I wasn't sure when I should do it. If I did it too early, I'd miss out on what little life I had left. If I waited too long, I wouldn't remember to do it.

Humpty Dumpty [6.07]

Chad: (to Finch) If you call this drunk, lady, you don't get out much.
Greene (to Dr. Lawrence): How are things going?
Dr. Lawrence: For a doc that can't practice medicine, I can't complain.

Great Expectations [6.08]

Carter (to Malucci): You did a rotation in Grenada?
Malucci: No, Sherlock, I went to med school in Grenada.
Abby (to Carol): How are you feeling?
Carol: I am in love with the epidural man.
Abby: Some people call him an anesthesiologist.
Carol: Oh, he will always be the epidural man to me.
Abby (to Carol about Greene): You know, I wouldn't repeat this outside the room, but you owe your friend your future children.
Corday (to David Greene after he is injured slipping on ice): Do you know what time it is?
David Greene: Yeah, time my ten-year-old granddaughter started her period.

How the Finch Stole Christmas [6.09]

Haleh: The Sixties were from 1961 to 1970.
Conni: What about 1960.
Lily: That was the last year of the Fifties.
Haleh: Which means the new millenium really starts in 2001.
Chuny: Then why am I spending half my paycheck on New Year's Eve plans?
Lily: You and the rest of the world.
Corday (to Dean Rollins): I'm curious about something.
Dean Rollins: Me too. Are you a natural red head? I'd like to see for myself.
Romano: Well, it's nice to see that when the cat's away, the mouse still jumps.
Benton: What's going on?
Romano: Just teaching Ms. Knight the finer points of an L-VAD implantation. You know, from now on, I think I'm only gonna do favors for people who come begging at my doorstep. Which leads me to ask, Peter, why wasn't it you?
Benton: I never even considered it.
Romano: O ye of little faith.
Lucy: Dr. Romano, I again just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you doing this.
Romano: Eh, that's enough sucking up, Lucy. Cut please.
Valerie (to Lucy): I cannot thank you enough, Dr. Knight.
Lucy: I'm not a doctor yet.
Valerie: You are to me.

Family Matters [6.10]

Carter (to Chen): Yeah, I'm actually pretty surprised to see you around here. I, uh, thought you dropped out of medicine after...
Chen: I almost killed that patient by leaving a guidewire in his chest?
Carter: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up.
Chen: Oh yes you did, John. But that's okay. And let's face it, it was kind of a low point. But it did force me to face the truth. I was being way too aggressive. Way too much of an overachiever. Always trying to show people up.
Carter: Well...
Chen: And way too successful at it. I'd left the patient out of the picture.
[When Greene tells Carter he has to go to San Diego]
Carter: Hey, is everything okay?
Greene: Well, my father's barricaded himself in our old house. There's no heat, there's no electricity. He's running around in his underwear so actually everything isn't okay,
Malucci: So, uh, Carter... did you know this new resident, Jing something-or-other?
Carter: That's good, screw up her name. That'll impress her.
Weaver: Luka, I heard about what happened. I'm sorry.
Luka: No, don't, don't apologize.
Weaver: It might not always make sense to us, but when there's a difficult family situation, we call DCFS because they have expertise in this area. We have to defer to their judgment.
Luka: You don't break up families.
Weaver: Sometimes we do. It's complicated.
Luka: No! My wife and kids were taken.
Weaver: In the war?
Luka: Yeah. And then killed. You don't break up families.

The Domino Heart [6.11]

Romano: (to Lucy) Miss Knight, you are like a crazed Energizer Bunny on this one. You just keep going and going and going.
Weaver: (to Greene) A two-gallon dump gives you a solid flush..
Luka: I'm European. We like to be gallant.

Abby Road [6.12]

Lucy: Somebody stole my patient.
Greene: Peter, did you steal Lucy's patient?
Benton: Check the lost and found.
Romano: Why mess with natural selection? Nothing like a good influenza epidemic to thin the herds.
Carol: Residents, the only thing worse than med students.
Abby: Patients normally don't bite in OB.
Greene: That's an occupational hazard down here.
Abby: I used to work in O.B., and up there I would deliver a baby, and then I would deliver a baby, and then I would deliver a baby. And today, I was puked on, spit at, bit, and then I tricked a psychotic woman, and then I almost killed a guy.

Be Still My Heart [6.13]

Mark (to David): It's not good medicine for...
David Greene: ...for one family member to look after another.
Greene: (to Chen and Malucci) Do you know why I had only one child? Because I didn't want to listen to the two of them arguing in the back seat of my car.
Corday: Robert, this is a dog.
Romano: Correction, Lizzie, this is my dog.
Corday: I'm sorry, Robert, I just don't think it's proper to be operating on your dog.
Romano: I'm chief of staff, is that proper enough for you? Besides, what would you have me do? Leave her to some poodle surgeon?
Abby (to Carter): Today was the first day I saw an old person die and I guess I'm just not used to it.
Carter: Well, you want the good news or the bad news?
Abby: Give me the bad.
Carter: You never get used to it. The good news is you never get used to it. At least I haven't. So you may have come up here to be alone, but you're not.

All in the Family [6.14]

Corday: (when Lucy dies from complications of her injuries) Time of death, 2:56.
Luka: Pretty scary, huh?
Malucci: Yeah, pretty scary.
Abby: I was complaining about my day.
Carter (to Benton): Lucy's dead, isn't she?

Be Patient [6.15]

Carter (to Benton): We all know what happens after the "jazz club."
Benton: Just when did you lose the filter between your brain and your mouth?
Carter: I think you might have taken it out in the OR last week.
Mrs. Knight (to Carter): Um... Can I ask you something?
Carter: Yes.
Mrs. Knight: When you were... Well, when that man stabbed you, what did you think? No--I mean, what did it feel like?
Carter: Well, um... It happened really fast, and I didn't really know what was going on. But I didn't feel a thing.
Mrs. Knight: No pain?
Carter: (shakes his head) No pain.

Under Control [6.16]

Abby: One of my patients dies and I'm the last one to know.
Benton (to Carter): Hey, how are you feeling?
Carter: Ready to go.
Benton: Yeah? You know, I saw your MRI. Looks like you're recovering just fine.
Carter: Yeah, I should be able to get rid of these things in about a week or two.
Benton: Carter, take your time. Don't push it, alright?

Viable Options [6.17]

Corday: We're going through potential recipients like...
Greene: Crap through a goose?
Corday: Yeah, that works.

Match Made in Heaven [6.18]

Carol: (to Luka) No offense, but you look like crap.
Romano: Luka? What is that, Croatian for "lucky"?
Luka: No, Luke.
Romano: Uh...
Randi: (holding out the phone) Dr. Greene, it's that nurse again.
Greene: Now what?!
Randi: Apparently your father's making racial slurs.
Greene: She's Swedish!
Randi: Well, maybe he called her a meatball.

The Fastest Year [6.19]

Carol (to Luka): Did you grow up in the city?
Luka: No, near the coast.
Carol: Is that where you were during the war?
Luka: No. Then we were in Vokuvar. Small apartment, didn't have much money. We kept the children in all the time for safety. They would get crazy, what do you call it...?
Carol: Cabin fever.
Luka: Yeah... I was going to the market to...not for much, some cheese and bread... and they were climbing all over me. "Please let me come, let me come." And the answer was the same as always, "No, it's not safe." My wife stayed with them.
Carol: Luka...
Luka: No, it's OK. I was only maybe, uh, 50 meters away when I heard the whistle in the air. An artillary shell hit the building. (pauses) It's already done now. People rebuilt all during the war. One day you're sitting at a café, the next day it's bombed, and the day after that, they begin to build! That's what you do. Something happens, you rebuild, you go on. (pauses) We should probably go. Your mother will think you've gone joy-riding.

Loose Ends [6.20]

David: I love you, Mark.
Greene: I love you too, Dad.
Malucci (to Weaver): Hey Chief, am I a yuppie?
Weaver: No, but you will be when you grow up.
Corday: (to an anorexic patient) A friend of mine died today, fighting for his life. Go ahead, kill yourself. You don't give a damn? Neither do I. Fine! Discharge her

Such Sweet Sorrow [6.21]

Carol: I have to go find out.
Luka: Find out what?
Carol: If he's still in love with me... because... I'm still in love with him. I am. I've been in love with him since I was 23 years old. He's everything to me. He's my life. I feel complete when I'm with him and I feel empty when we're apart. He's the father of my children... and he's my soulmate.
Weaver: Dr. Malucci, if I don't see you standing over a sick patient looking compassionate and engaged in the next 30 seconds, you're going to spend the next week doing nothing but disimpactions and yeast infections!
Kerry: It's five after seven. Is there some kind of natural disaster that I'm unaware of? An earthquake, or half of Chicago swallowed up by a giant sinkhole?
Haleh (to Abby): You're younger than us, prettier than us, and skinnier than us.
Lydia: We hate you.
Abby: Thanks for the candor.

May Day [6.22]

Benton (to the gunman): I'm a doctor, I'm here to help. Can you talk?
Gunman: Go to hell.
Benton: I'll take that as a yes.
↑Jump back a section

Season 7

Survival of the Fittest [7.17]

Romano: [To a very pregnant Elizabeth] Are you sure you can still reach the table?
Elizabeth: At least I can see the table...

April Showers [7.18]

Elizabeth: This is America, and sometimes in this country you have to kick some ass!

Sailing Away [7.19]

Chen: Don't be a hero, get the epidural!
↑Jump back a section

Season 8

If I Should Fall From Grace [8.7]

Gallant: Is there a lost and found box?
Haleh: Yeah, someone stole it.

Damage Done [8.15]

Frank: So you're gay, huh?
Weaver: Yeah, Frank, I'm gay, all right?
Frank: You know you're going to hell, right?

Bygones [8.17]

[Romano walks into the lounge and sees that Elizabeth is crying]
Romano: What's wrong, is Prince Harry in rehab again?


[Romano to Elizabeth about Mark:]
Romano: Is he your husband?
Elizabeth: Yes.
Romano: Do you love him?
Elizabeth: Yes.

The Letter [8.20]

[After Gallant gets sick during a trauma, Carter repeats what Dr. Mark Greene told him in the same situation eight years ago.]
Gallant: You know, sometimes I don't think I can do this.
Carter: You know, there's two kinds of doctors. There's the kind that get rid of their feelings, and the kind that hold on to them. If you hold on to your feelings you're going to get sick every once in a while. It's part of it. You know, people come in here, and they're sick, and they're bleeding, sometimes they're dying. And they need our help. And helping them is more important than how we feel. But hell, I've been doing this eight years, I still get sick. Take another minute.

Lockdown [8.22]

Carter: Abby is the Obi-Wan Kenobi of nursing.
Pratt: What does that make you, Yoda?
Carter: Learn from her you will.
↑Jump back a section

Season 9

Chaos Theory [9.01]

Romano: [coming to in the ER after losing his arm] Oh no, I'm at County
Abby: Chaos Theory?
Carter: Yeah, a virus mutates in the Congo. We evacuate an ER in Chicago. Romano gets his arm cut off.
Abby: You lost me.
Carter: Seemingly random events, all part of a larger equation.
Abby: I'm hot.
Carter: You know, a butterfly flaps its wings in China, and creates a tornado halfway around the world.
Abby: Are you hot?
Carter: I'm just saying that there's an inherent unpredictability about everything-- evolution, life. Love, relationships.
Abby: So what am I? The butterfly or tornado?
Carter: No, you're chaos in general.
Abby: Oh, thanks.
Carter: No, I'm just saying, you're chaos to me. The unknown. I'm chaos to you.
Abby: You are hardly chaos, Carter.
Carter: I'm just saying there's a risk in anything that you do, right? But don't you want to stack the odds in your favor? I mean, I'm drawn to you. It's kind of that simple. I've been drawn to you for two years, but chaos always seems to rule, and I don't want it to rule. I want to know where it's taking me. You know what I mean?
Abby: Nope.
Carter: The tornado. Definitely the tornado.

Dead Again [9.02]

Carter: Ah, the smell of fresh med students in the morning.
Susan: What is it about them? They all seem so...
Frank: Gullible, immature, vapid?
Susan: I was going to say "sweet".
Pratt: (to the new med students) So, newbies, huh? You don't want to work here.
Romano (to Corday): Lizzie. You're one face I missed seeing in recovery.
Corday: I'm so sorry, Robert.
Romano: About my arm? Or about not being there?

Insurrection [9.03]

Abby: Normally they just decapitate the leaders of the insurrection and send the peasants back to work in the fields.
Woman Patient: If men needed abortions, there would be drive-thrus with beer on tap and ESPN on the TV.
Carter: I got stabbed, Lucy got killed, and today, Abby and Chen get a gun to their heads. I'm sorry, no. It's got to stop. Otherwise, it's not worth doing.
Susan: I know, Carter. You're an emergency room doctor. It's about getting through the shift.
Chen (while she & Pratt are sorting through severed fingers): You think this is a pinkie or a ring?
Pratt: Looks like a cocktail weenie.
Abby: Hey, Frank, take care of my baby brother.
Frank: Is he potty trained?

Walk Like a Man [9.04]

Abby (to Kerry after she is named the nurse supervisor): I was hall monitor for a day in the 5th grade and they fired me for selling passes to the other kids.
Kerry: Well, I'm sure you've matured since.
Abby: Not that much really.
Gallant: (to Pratt after he slugs him) Do not call me Mikey!
Weaver (to Gallant): You hit another doctor?
Gallant: Yeah, Dr. Pratt
Weaver: Oh. Well in that case, I'll overlook it.
Susan: (to Luka) When you're waiting on a patient's results, it's not necessary for you to boff that patient's mother in the storage closet.
Abby (to Carter): How does a couple burgers, shakes, and see if you get lucky sound?
Carter: I haven't had an offer that good since the eighth grade.
Carter: (to Gallant) Hey, Pratt wants you to hit him on the other side of his face, to even things out.
(As Abby is removing a dead goldfish from the tank in the waiting room))
Abby: Time of death, 7:36 a.m.
Carter: Ah. Your goldfish coded?
Abby: Yep. Third time this week. Every afternoon I restock the little pond here, and every morning it's like the Exxon Valdez came through.
Carter: You can get somebody else to do this for you.
Abby: Well, I'm committed.
Carter: Committed fish killer. (Abby drops the fish into Carter's coffee cup)

A Hopeless Wound [9.05]

Romano: I know most people don't like me; I don't care, I don't like most people. But I'm good at what I do. I save people's lives. Every day. If I can't do that...
Romano (to Corday as he is operating on a pig) :Though even with one arm, I'm a better surgeon than the rest of the hacks in this hospital.
Corday: Robert, you're not cleared to do surgery, even on farm animals.
Corday: I lost my wedding ring!
Romano: Oh, boo-hoo, this guy's about to lose a leg! I'd say chop chop, but that would be in extremely poor taste!
Romano (after Corday loses her wedding ring down the drain): Somebody call the Tiffany's Search and Rescue team!
Luka (to Abby about her costume): Maybe you could wear some Swaztikas with that outfit. You could be a naughty Nazi nurse.
Abby: You totally suck, you know that?
Luka: Hey, careful! Creating a hostile work environment!
Chuny (about Luka): I'm not working with him.
Abby: Why?
Chuny: Because he treats nurses like idiots!
Luka: Hey, if your boots fit!
Abby: Shoes.
Luka: Whatever.
Luka (to Abby about her costume): Are you wearing that for your shift?
Abby: Yes. It's Halloween. You know, Jerry sent out a memo.
Susan: Ooo. Naughty nurse!
Abby: I'm not a naughty nurse.
Susan: I like it.
Abby: I'm not... It's like an old fashioned nurse.
Frank: Looks naughty to me.
Luka: So what, you're like a kurva nurse?
Abby: What's that?
Luka: How do you say, uh, sly, uh, tramp, whore...
Abby: Yeah, I got it. You know, maybe I should've worn that school-girl outfit you bought me. :(Susan and Frank stares at Luka)
Luka: (laughs) Eh, she's making a joke!
Chuny (to Luka): Labs on your baby. (throws them at him as she walks by)
Luka: Thank you!
Abby: Glad to see you've made up!
Luka: Hey, I'm being professional. She's the one having trouble. I warned her.
Abby: Warned her about what?
Luka: Nothing.
Abby: Oh my God. You are such a jerk!
Luka: What?
Abby: You slept with her? That's what this is all about. What's your problem?
Luka: Ey, one time.
Abby: One time? One time with Chuny, one time with a patient's mother in radiology.
Luka: Hey, you never complained!
Abby: Yeah, I never let it affect my work. You two need to figure this out.
Luka: So, what do you want me to do?
Abby: I don't know, tell her you're sorry. Tell her it was wrong. Just fix it.
Luka: I'm not gonna kiss her ass.
Abby: That's how this whole problem started.

One Can Only Hope [9.06]

Romano: (while on the phone) Excessive therapy, excessive. Alright, how's this for excessive? I had my arm sliced off. I mean, what do I have to do to get full therapy? Do I have to have a pack of wolves come chew my leg off, too? Look, my physical therapist, my orthopedic surgeon, and the chief of staff of the hospital that pays your premium, what's his name again? Oh yeah, that's right, ME, have all determined that I need a minimum of five days a week in order to regain occupational use. (begins to yell) It's not disability, you nut! I'm still working...Hello...Hello? (slams down phone) Coward!
Haleh (to Abby): I've been doing this job for 17 years, honey. Doctors come and go, but nurses make this place run. We don't get much credit or pay. We see a lot of misery, a lot of dying, but we come back every day. I've given up being appreciated, but I sure as hell won't let any of us be taken for granted.
Pratt: I can't believe a guy comes in here with three bullet holes and nobody called me.
Abby: You are such a trauma queen.
Drunk Patient: I could use a sponge bath.
Chen: You up for a lap dance, Malik?
Malik: Maybe...
Drunk Patient: Stay away from me, you chocolate homo.
Malik: How did you know my stage name?
Abby (to Eric): When did you start smoking?
Eric: A while ago. What difference does it make?
Abby: Nobody starts smoking after the age of 25.
Eric: What can I say, I'm a late bloomer. You smoke, and you've been smoking since what, 8?

Tell Me Where it Hurts [9.07]

Abby (to Carter): My family's so screwed up. If I were you, I'd run for my life and never look back.
Carter: You don't hold the monopoly on screwed up families. You met my mother.
Abby: She's not certifiable.
Carter: I have an idea. I think we should get them all together for the holidays... Gamma, my parents, your mom. (Abby laughs)
Chen: (to Gallant and Harkins) Okay, alright, settle down. This is a teaching hospital, not Medical Jeopardy.
Eric (to Abby): Every controller I know has had a couple of PTSD assessments. It's our way of working the system to get a little extra time off. We even joke about it. "How do you know when an air traffic controller is suffering from post traumatic stress? His tackle box is missing." You know? He's gone fishing?
Kerry (to Susan): You're doing a good job of clearing the patients today.
Frank: Easy to be fast when you're just killing them.

First Snowfall [9.08]

Corday: My husband, his name was Mark, he died... My God, I was about to say last year. It's only been six months.
Carter (to Luka): Commuting on skis!
Luka: What?
Carter: Skiing to work.
Luka: Yeah, I don't live far. Nice coat.
Carter: Goodwill box.
Luka: Hey, did you find him?
Carter: Who?
Luka: Abby's brother.
Carter: Um, I'm just gonna try and catch a train to Midway and wait for it to open up.
Luka: Where are you going?
Carter: Nebraska. She's already there. She left last night.
Luka: Didn't go with her?
Carter: I had a shift.
Luka: Oh.
Carter: I sent Gallant with her.
Luka: Gallant?
Carter: Yeah. Why?
Abby (when she enters Eric's military hospital room): Hi.
Eric: Were you expecting a strait jacket?
Abby: No. You look nice.
Eric: Fashion is key at a court martial.

Next of Kin [9.09]

Susan: I so need a margarita. Are you ready?
Chen: I think I'm gonna pass.
Susan: Oh, come on. I hate drinking alone. I mean I'll do it, but...
Susan (to Luka): You're late.
Luka: Blame my alarm clock.
Susan: What's her name?
Susan: (to Carter) If I was stuck on a train with my family... Well, bad example. I'd throw myself on the tracks.
Eric (to Abby): Are you alone?
Abby: No, Mom's here too.
Eric: (to Maggie) Why'd you bring her?
Maggie: She's worried about you, Eric.
Eric: I don't want you here.
Abby: Just hold on, alright?
Eric: I don't want you in my life right now.
Abby: What?
Eric: (to Maggie) Are you coming in? (Maggie goes inside and Eric tries to close the door)
Abby: Okay. Eric, don't do this.
Eric: Move your hand.
Abby: You need help.
Eric: I don't want to hurt you.
Abby: You can't do this by yourself! You need structure and stability.
Eric: Let go.
Abby: Someone you can rely on and trust!
Eric: That's not you anymore, okay? You don't understand.
Abby: Yes, I do!
Eric: You think you do! But you don't. You're not like us! You never will be.
Maggie: I'll call you when we get settled.
Abby: Don't bother. (walks away)
Abby: I'm done. I'm done with the both of them. I'm done with all of it. Cancel Christmas.

Hindsight [9.10]

Abby (while Frank & Jerry are fighting about wearing the same Santa costume): You guys, we already have the wasted angel of Bethlehem. Can we not have feuding St. Nicks?
Frank: (to Abby while dressed in a Santa suit) Sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas, little girl.
Abby: I want it to be January.
Frank: SInce when is Santa scary?
Pratt: Since he looks like a fat, old homeless dude.
Luka: I feel like crap.
Abby: You don't look so good either.
Luka: Thanks a lot.
Luka (to Erin): Why do you want to be a doctor?
Erin: I don't know. Good at science.
Luka: I became a doctor to take care of people. To heal them. (lies down)
Erin: You do. Every day.
Luka: But strangers, only strangers. And not tomorrow. (falls asleep)

When Night Meets Day [9.21]

Romano: Do me a favor, write "Not this one, idiot" on my arm...
Romano: [looking at arm] You forgot "idiot"
Elizabeth: I'll be there Robert...
Romano: Just the same... "Idiot".
[Elizabeth finishes writing]
↑Jump back a section

Season 10

Now What? [10.01]

Neela (to Frank): Excuse me. Can you help me, sir?
Frank: You need to find a triage nurse.
Neela: No, I'm sorry. I work here.
Frank: Lucky you.
Neela: I-I'm supposed to start today. Neela Rasgotra?
Frank: Rag what?
Neela: Rasgotra.
Frank: Don't we hire Americans anymore?
Neela: The phone was ringing and no one was around, so I thought I should answer it.
Frank: Big mistake.
Neela: It's long-distance, overseas, for a Dr.Carter.
Frank: 'Course, who else? Take a message.
Neela: (on the phone) Yeah, can I take a message? (to Frank) They say it's important. Someone who's died.
Jerry: Who?
Neela: Someone named Kovac. A Dr. Luka Kovac.
Neela (to Pratt): What's a TWA?
Pratt: What?
Neela: What's a TWA?
Pratt: Where did you hear that?
Neela: The old guy at the desk with the flat head called me a TWA. I don't know what it means.
Pratt: (shaking his head) Third world assassin, TWA.
Abby (when Carter decides to head back to Africa): I don't know. You knew I didn't want you to go, and you went anyway. What, were you trying to hurt me?
Carter: Why would I want to hurt you?
Abby: I, I don't know! I don't know! Why would you want to hurt me?
Carter: It wasn't about you.
Abby: Oh, come on! You weren't even going to tell me you were going! If I hadn't bumped in to you when you were leaving, I wouldn't even have known!
Carter: I wasn't trying to hurt you. I wanted to feel like I was really doing something.
Abby: Did you even think about me?
Carter: Yes.
Abby: Okay, what did you think (pause) What did you think? I don't know why you bothered to come back. (starts walking away)
Carter: Oh, you're just going to walk away?
Abby: Yeah.
Carter: Okay, walk away, Abby. That's what you do best.
Abby: You want to know what you do best? You make this all about my problems, but you know what? You have some problems too. You've got some really big problems.

The Lost [10.02]

Luka: I was raised in the church. Catholic. I used to go twice a week with my mother. It was beautiful. I liked the music, the singing.
Patrique: Do you still go?
Luka: No, I stopped when my children and wife were murdered. I couldn't believe in a God would allow such a terrible thing to happen. (pauses, ironically) It's really hard to feel the Holy Spirit's presence on a day like today.
Debbie (to Carter): You really don't like the Dixie Chicks? Everybody likes the Dixie Chicks.
Carter: Everybody?
Debbie: Everybody with taste.
Carter (to the Mai Mai soldiers): You guys burned the clinic to the ground?! You guys... You guys keep burning down hospitals, where are you gonna go when you get shot, huh? Where are you gonna go when your mothers get shot?!

Dear Abby [10.03]

Prosthetist (to Romano): I can prepare another letter to the insurance company.
Romano: I've got two letters for the insurance company; "F" and "U"!
Romano: You really are one grade-A bitch, you know that, Kerry?
Weaver: No, Robert, I'm your boss, and as long as I am, you're my bitch. Now get your ass back to work.
Romano (to Jerry): Did you get rid of those nurses?
Jerry: Yeah. They, uh, they went up to nursing administration saying something about hiring a hit man.
Frank: Hell hath no fury like an RN scorned.

Shifts Happen [10.04]

Romano (to Pratt): You are a screw-up, Pratt and just to make myself clear, I didn't like you before I knew that.
Cooper (to Pratt): I like your style, man.
Pratt: Oh, yeah? Get your own.
Abby (to Richard): I need a favor.
Richard: Abby, it's 8:00 in the morning.
Abby: Yeah, I know. I don't have a lot of time. I need you to co-sign a loan.
Richard: Why don't you just declare bankruptcy?
Abby: Look, I'm not in trouble, OK? I just need you...
Richard: You want me to support you?
Abby: No. I never asked for alimony, I didn't contest anything in court, I didn't take the damned furniture.
Richard: You could have, if you wanted to.
Abby: Look, you must know how much I hate to do this. I wouldn't do it unless it was absolutely necessary. I don't want your money, I just want your signature.

Out of Africa [10.05]

[It's Sam first day, and she has just jumped on a hostile patient and stabbed him with a syringe]
Romano: Please tell me she works here...
Sam : Sam Taggart, new nurse!
Romano: So, what's today's excuse for Triage being a stinking, overpopulated cesspool of humanity?
Sam : The healthcare system?
Romano: Yeah, well, if things get too locked up, you can try stabbing some of these deadbeats in the neck. That ought to have them running to Northwestern.
Romano: There's nothing I find sexier than a mute girl covered in blood, so keep your head down and your mouth shut.
Sam : You remind of a guy I used to date. He's dead.
[about Romano ]
Sam : You've got one poisonous one-armed midget running this place.
Alex: This your new hospital?
Sam : Yep.
Alex: Looks even crappier than the last one.

The Greater Good[10.06]

[Discussing a patient...]
Sam : She needs a little TLC and maybe some Zoloft.
Susan: That makes two of us.
Susan: (to Sam) Keep Kovac away from her. He's been known to give away free physicals.
Abby: (about Neela) I'm beginning to hate her.
Susan: She's a med student.
Abby: I'm a med student.
Susan: You know, now that you mention it, she's pissing me off, too. Come on, let's hate her together!
Tara King (to Luka): I could put together some packages for you could take to the Congo. I've heard that's a pet project of yours. Quinamax would be wonderful for all the important work you're doing over there.
Luka: You want me to take your over-priced antibiotic to Africa?
Tara King: It has great coverage for pnemococcus and AIDS flu.
Luka: Why hasn't there been a new drug for malaria in three decades?
Tara King: That's a really good question...
Luka: Because there's no profit in treating poor people! (picks up a trash can and throws all her marketing products in it)
Tara King: My company is...
Luka: Your company spends twice as much in marketing as it does in development! Which is why prescription cost has tripled in the last 10 years! Get out of here. I want you out of here. (walks towards the door)
Tara King: If this is a bad time...
Luka: Frank, I'm gonna go get some coffee. Page me if you need me!
Tara King: O.k. Dr. Kovac if you can... (Luka empties out the trash can in the dumpster) You know, I'll just come back when you're not so busy!
Pratt (to Luka): She was my patient!
Luka: Yes, and if I hadn't treated her, she would still be here. Now she's at home and feeling better.
Pratt: So that's it. This is how I'm supposed to learn? Either I do it your way, or you take it away from me?
Luka: Pratt, I'm trying to teach you that the way you practice medicine here is inefficient.
Pratt: Oh, and letting babies die is?
Luka: You really think you saved that kid today? For what? 24-hours nursing care? He's probably gonna require a life time commitment. Are you gonna be around to give it to him?
Pratt: Listen, I'm sorry I'm not in some mud-hut doing amputations with a pocket knife. We have the technology and expertise to give that kid a chance! What's the sense in having it, if we don't use it?
Luka: That kid has about a 5% chance of having a normal life! You have any idea how many other kids we could have treated with those resources?
Pratt: I do everything I can for my patients! That's how I practice medicine. This is Chicago, not the damned Congo. Maybe you should just go back to Africa.
Luka: Maybe you should go to Africa.
Pratt: I know you didn't just say that to me.
Luka: Maybe then you'd learn that there's more to being a doctor that ordering tests and calling consults for every patient just to cover your ass.
Pratt: Stay away from my patients. From now on, I present to another attending.

Death and Taxes [10.07]

Susan: What are you doing?
Sam : He just grabbed my ass. Here, take this to church and have it exorcised.
Romano: That's right, you keep walking! Right up to the nursing director's office 'cause by the time you get there, there'll be a pink slip waiting for you.
Sam : Good! Give me plenty of time to file my sexual harassment lawsuit!
Romano: Do you mind?
Susan: Yes, I do. You can have it back by the end of the day if you learn to behave!
Romano: Give me my damned arm back!
Sam : I've got a rule against ass grabbing.
Susan: That's a good rule.

Freefall [10.08]

Corday (about Morris): Is he squeamish?
Pratt: No, just stupid.
Susan (to Chuck): I thought that you were on that chopper.
Chuck: God, no. They brought their own nurse, and that bitch wouldn't let me fly.
Susan: That bitch saved your life!
Mrs. Marshall (to Abby): The nurse never came with my medicine.
Abby: That's okay. I'm your nurse now.
Mrs. Marshall: I thought you were my doctor.
Abby: That was this morning. Now I'm your nurse.
Mrs. Marshall: This is a very strange hospital.
Abby: Tell me about it.

Missing [10.09]

Luka: You sent that man up for a pulmonary angiogram?
Neela: Dr.Lewis wanted to be sure before heparinising.
Luka: What's your opinion?
Neela: I'm not sure my opinion matters.
Sam : Luka. You got a minute?
Luka: [To Neela] If you don't think it matters, then it doesn't.
Sam : Dr.Kovac! Tell me you did not put a splint on my kid's arm.
Luka: I'm sorry, but we're busy trying to find a man's finger right now.
Sam : Yeah, and the reason it's missing, is because in stead of studying here like I told him, he's off with you playing doctor.
Frank: What?!
Sam : Not like that.
Luka: I'm sorry about the splint.
Sam : Look. I appreciate you trying to be his friend. I just don't want things to get weird. You're a good guy, I'm sure. But you don't know crap about raising kids. So thanks for the help, but no thanks. I got it covered.
Luka: [ Nods ] O.k.

Makemba [10.10]

Touch & Go [10.11]

[ Alex has sown stitches into his own leg ]
Sam : You ever seen a kid do something this crazy before?
Carter: Honestly? [ shakes his head ]

NICU [10.12]

Pratt: When'd you two start your rotation?
Abby: Five minutes ago.
Pratt: Well, the NICU's great! Intubations, chest-tubes, umbilical-lines. You get to do all sorts of teeny-tiny kick ass procedures.
[ elevator door opens ]
Nurses: Card's is waiting and Raab's is pissed. Wanna give him a pneumo?
[ The nurses, Abby and Neela roll the baby away ]
Sam : Good luck you two!
Pratt: Yeah, you gonna love it! [ To Sam ] Let's get out of here.
Sam : I hate the NICU.
Pratt: Those guys are screwed.

Get Carter [10.13]

Sam : You know what? Why don't save your lectures for the med students 'cause the nurses don't want to hear it.
Sam : What is it with Kovac and his holier than thou healing hands? I'm getting pretty sick of that.
Chuny: Oh, I don't know. Those healing hands have their good points. Right, Abby?
Sam : Did you go out with Kovac?
Abby: Briefly, yeah.
Sam :And Carter?
Abby: Yep.
Chuny: Abby's the ER slut.
Abby: I went out with two doctors in five years that I've worked with.
Lester Kertzenstein: Hey, Abby. Are we still on for tonight?
Abby: Yeah.
Lester Kertzenstein: Great.
Abby: We're studying! And you shouldn't talk, Chuny.

Impulse Control [10.14]

Sam : When I finally figured out where the clinic was, I sat in the waiting room and when they called my name I couldn't get up. The second time I went, I was too late. And now I look at Alex...
Abby: The clinic I went to had a Strawberry Shortcake poster. I just looked at that the whole time.
Arnie Nadler: Hi, i want to talk about the incident with Dr. Morris.
Sam : It was no incident, it was a french fry.
Frank: You waiting for Weaver?
Sam : Yeah.
Morris: Well, don't hit her. She's crippled.
Frank: HAHAHAHAHA

Blood Relations [10.15]

Corday (while working a trauma with Luka, Gallant, Carter, and Malik): How come there are only men in here?
Sam: Actually, I was thinking. It might be a good time to take a break.
Luka: What?
Sam: You know, just take it slower. You know what I'm saying.
Luka: Uh, no I don't.
Sam: We're not exclusive, right? We're just, like, dating or whatever. No commitment, no strings, no co-parenting. Just keep it casual, OK?
Luka: OK.

Forgive and Forget [10.16]

Neela:[to Frank] You know what? You're a horrible man. Do you think it's pleasant being greeted every day by a fusilade of homophobic, xenophobic ranting from a bigot? From now on, I expect nothing from you but silence; blissful silence.
Luka: No, it was fine.
Sam : Because, when I said before... I didn't mean we shouldn't see each other at all. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Luka: You want things to be casual.
Sam : Right. But if it's a choice between something serious or nothing, maybe serious is the way to go.
[ About Gillian ]
Luka: She has a boyfriend.
Sam : That's nice.
Luka: You said you didn't want to be exclusive!
Sam : I said it four days ago!
Luka: I forgot she was coming.
Sam : You know what, I don't care. It's fine, Luka.
Luka: It's fine?
Sam : You think I really care how many french girls you're screwing? You already nailed every nurse in the ER!

The Student [10.17]

Carter: Neela, we were ranking fourth year med students in there. And everybody agreed you're really bright, and we really like working with you.
Neela: Someone spoke poorly of me?
Carter: Well, nobody in particular.
Neela: Was it Dr. Chen? Because she's had it in for me...
Carter: Neela, you have to be more decisive. Okay, you have to be more... proactive.
Neela: They feel I'm too passive?
Carter: Tell you what, for the next four hours, you are a doctor. I want you to carry a minimum of three patients at all times. Start their workups, order their labs and meds, and present back to me only after you've put your own diagnostic plan into action. Today, you're a shark.
Neela: Shark?
Carter: Keep swimming, or you die.
Gallant (to Neela): You know, earlier, in the ambulance bay, I was thinking of asking you out.
Neela: And I was thinking of saying yes.
Susan: It's so sweet seeing them growing up.
Jerry: Who? Babies.
Susan: No, men.

Where There's Smoke [10.18]

Jerry: Oh, hey! Kovac called. He said next time he's gonna have a triple latte first. Does that make any sense?
Sam : [ smiles ] Yeah.
Chen: Are you two living together now?
Sam : No.
Chen: Well, for what it's worth, I think Luka's a good guy.
Sam : Oh, wait. You didn't...
Chen: ...Sleep with him? No, I went in a completely different direction (Chen waves at Pratt).
Gallant (to Neela): I'm being deployed to Iraq. I'm heading for Texas tomorrow morning.
Neela: You haven't finished your residency.
Gallant: Yeah, I know. I'm gonna finish up the last few electives down there.
Neela: They called you up, just like that?
Gallant: Yeah.
Neela: You're a coward.
Gallant: What, what?
Neela: Coward and a liar! I never asked you to do this for me, but you did! And now you're leaving, and I'm supposed to live with the fact that I killed a man, and that you helped and lied for me to cover it up.
Gallant: Listen, Neela.
Neela: No, Michael. Go to bloody Iraq. And tell yourself you've done something noble.
Gallant: I had to protect you and Dr. Carter.
Neela: No...you didn't.
Chen (to Neela): You're not a good doctor until you've killed someone.
Neela: (under her breath) Spoken like someone who hasn't.

Just a Touch [10.19]

Sam : Men only care about three things: food, sports, and sex. Dogs are more mysterious. If they ever invent a refrigerator with a wide-screen T.V and a vagina, we're all doomed
Morris: Sounds like he TUBE'd her.
Sam : What?
Morris: TUBE: Totally Unnecessary Breast Exam.
Sam : Morris, you're such an ass.
Kerry: What was that?
Sam: Sorry
Kerry: Not You.
Morris: Huh?
Kerry:What was that term?
Morris: I dunno. I didn't make it up.

Abby Normal [10.20]

Jack (to Carter): Milicent dies, you run off half way around the world. Disappears for months. Only to come back like some sort of avenging angel, with a pregnant African girl in tow.
Carter: Her name is Kem.
Jack: Are you back using drugs?
Abby (to Jordan): This is not about me.
Jordan: You want me to tell you things, to trust you, but you don't have to say anything? Is that fair? Don't you trust me?
Abby: OK. I can't follow through.
Jordan: On what?
Abby: On anything. Once something gets in my way, it's like a chemical reaction. I just shut down, and I give up. I'm just looking for an excuse to stop, because in the end it's easier to do that than to risk being hurt and disappointed again.
Jordan: You mean with men?
Abby: Men, my career, my family... pick your poison.
Kem: Oh my God, John. We're having a boy!
Carter: Yeah, I think you mentioned that. What is this? What, you're having a little prenatal jitters?
Kem: You don't think that, maybe we...
Carter: What?
Kem: Rushed into this?
Carter: 'Course we did. But we didn't over analyze it, we didn't reexamine it, we didn't over think it. We just did it 'cause it felt right.
Kem: This is a life that we're responsible for. You and me.
Carter: We're ready. Are you ready? (points at her belly)

Midnight [10.21]

Corday (about Carter and Kem's baby): A stillborn?
Chen: Yeah, a true knot in the chord.
Corday: How terrible.
Chen: Ah, I can't even imagine!
Corday: I'll try to get up there after rounds.
Weaver: Poor people. Seven months old?
Chen: Mm... Almost eight.
Morris: Yeah, tough break. (Chen, Corday and Weaver all look at him) What? I was... I was being sincere.
Jack (to Carter): When your brother died, the thing I hated the most was other people's platitudes. You're out of words. You don't know how you find the strength, but somehow you do. You can have another child... It was an accident, a tragic, unforeseeable accident.
Carter: The whole thing was an accident.
Jack: No, it wasn't. You love each other. Everybody can see that.
Carter: I don't know that she'd wanna have another baby with me.
Jack: Sure she will. Give it some time.
Carter: Kem? They're gonna come down and take us to our new room soon. And when they come, they're gonna take the baby, and we're never gonna see him again... I don't know what the right thing is to say. I don't know what the right thing to do is... It was an accident! It was nothing that you did wrong, it was nothing that we did wrong. It just happened. I love you, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. But we have to say goodbye to our son now. I have to help you to do that, and I don't know how to do that. Please help me. Please.

Drive [10.22]

Sam : We're moving.
Alex: No!
Sam : Come on, hurry up!
Alex: I don't wanna go!
Sam : Ah, you don't exactly have a choice.
Alex: I'm not going!
Sam : Yes you are.
Alex: I like it here.
Sam : Yeah? So did I.
Alex: You're just being a bitch.
Sam : What did you call me?
Alex: I'm sick of moving just because you're screwed up!
Sam : You know what I'm sick of, Alex?! I'm sick of pretending that your dad is a good guy! I'm sick of keeping my mouth shut about all the crap that he's done and all the stuff that he hasn't. And I'm sick of him tracking us down every time he loses a job, so he can come here and buy you enough presents to make you think that he's actually a father. Because he's not! He's a user, and a loser, and I am not gonna let him turn you into one too. Now get your ass in that room and start packing!
Antwan Coles (to Pratt): You gotta back me up, brother.
Pratt: I'm Dr. Pratt, you're under suspicion for DUI. And you sure as hell ain't my brother.
↑Jump back a section

Season 11

One for the Road [11.01]

[ Luka leans up against his car at the motel, Sam is getting ice from the ice machine. ]
Luka: [ sighs ] What are you doing, Sam?
Sam : This is what I do, you know that. I don’t stay in one place that long.
Luka: How long are you going to keep doing that?
Sam : As long as I have to.
Luka: You can’t keep running away.
Sam : Sure I can.
Luka: This isn’t just about Steve.
Sam : Sorry, sometimes there’s a little collateral damage. I have to do this for Alex.
Luka: From what I can tell, it’s not working for him.
Sam : Yeah well, he’s 10, he doesn’t know what’s working for him.
Luka: Is this the life you want for him? For yourself?
Sam :[ opens her mouth as if to say something, but is speechless ] I don’t know what else to do.
Luka: Go to your car and follow me back to Chicago. You don’t have to do this alone, I’m here, you can trust me.
[ A tear runs down Sam’s cheek. Luka pushes her hair back and caresses her face with his hand. ]
Sam : That’s not something I’m good at.
Luka: Why not give it a try? It can’t be any worse than this, can it?
[ They both smile and softly laugh ]
Neela (while examining Pratt): Keep your mouth open so I can check the pharynx.
Pratt: Thought you weren't supposed to be doing anything.
Neela: You're a resident; no one's going to care if I kill you. Open.
Weaver: Somebody go find Morris! He's probably in the bathroom again staring at Maxim.
Weaver: Back off Pratt, or I'll check your rectal tone with my crutch.

Damaged [11.02]

[ Luka wakes up, turns to see that Sam is not there and gets out of bed. We then see Sam at the open window. Luka comes out of the room and hugs her. ]
Luka: You’re not sleepy? You will get cold like that.
Sam : He’ll come back [ Sam moves away from Luka. ] We won’t have any idea when. Sleeping in one morning or on our way home from a movie, and he’ll just show up.
Luka: We’ll deal with that.
Sam : I don’t know why you would want to.
[ Sam looks into Alex’s room where he is sleeping ]
Luka: I can think of a reason. [ Luka closes the window. ] This place is too small. You should both come and live with me.
Sam : What?
Luka: My apartment has two floors. Alex can sleep downstairs.
Sam : Luka! If we all move in together it is going to be because it is something we all want, not because you think we need to be protected!
Luka: Hey.
[ Sam walks away and mumbles something about a shower. ]
Luka: Hey! [[[w:Samantha Taggart|Sam]] stops and turns and Luka picks up the frying pan. ] Scrambled or fried?
Sam : Poached!
Luka: Poached??

[ Later, after shark guy, Luka, Sam , Malik and Jerry joking about nurse sharks. They are reading off the internet ]

Jerry: It says here they adjust well to captivity.
Malik: Sounds like a nurse to me!
Sam : Not all of us!
Luka: They tend to move slowly but with a relatively small range during the day.
Sam [ laughs ]: Hey, watch it!
[ Luka says goodbye to Carter. Sam give Carter a med record and follows Luka out the door and chases him down. ]
'Sam :Luka!
Luka: I thought you were still on?
Sam :For awhile, yeah. Ah, you know what you said, earlier, on the steps? [ Luka nods ] Me too. So… come on by later and I’ll make you some eggs.
Luka: [ nods again ] OK.
[ They both turn to go. Sam turns and yells out ]
Sam : Hey!
[ Sam runs to Luka he grabs her in his arms as he laughs and they kiss. ]

Try Carter [11.03]

(Neela, sitting in a registry/intelligence office)

Woman: So you placed very high on your placement test, but you haven't got a lot of experience in any other service industry. No retail, no sales. Secretarial?

Neela: No.

Woman: Uh... Bokeeping?

Neela: Not really.

Woman: Horticulture?

(Neela shaking her head, means no)

Woman: Mechanics?

(Neela shaking her head again, means no)

Woman: Electrical?.....Perhaps we'd have better luck if you told us what sort of things you can do.

Neela: Well, let's see: I can crack open your chest, reinflate your lung and squeeze your heart back to life.

(Woman looks disturbed, and turn her head away from Neela)

Fear [11.04]

Carter: If you want me to tell anyone anything?
Corday: Tell them, uh... It's been lovely.
Ella: Mommy, in the picture?
Corday: Listen, John, i'm going to have go, okay, bye. [to Ella] Sorry, sweetheart, what?
Ella: Is this Daddy? [hands Elizabeth a picture of Mark]
Corday: Yeah! You know that! [hands the picture back to Ella, and she looks at another photo]
Ella: Who are they? [hands the black and white picture to Elizabeth.
Corday [smiling]: That's your Nana and Grandpa.
Ella: Are they dead too?
[Corday looks sadly into the distance, remembering Mark]

An Intern's Guide to the Galaxy [11.05]

Dubenko: Jet-skis account for only 20% of boats but are involved in 44% of injuries, know why that is? Dr. Lockhart?
Abby: No.
Dubenko: "No" is right -- no throttle, no steering, no way to stop.

Time of Death [11.06]

White Guy, Dark Hair [11.07]

[ Cut to Sam sorting supplies in an empty trauma room. Luka enters ]
Luka: The detective is still here.
Sam : You shouldn’t have been so dismissive of me in front of him.
Luka: You didn’t need to discuss the details of Louise’s condition. She deserves some privacy.
Sam : Yeah, and she deserves a chance to help. We have an option we haven’t even talked about.
Luka: And that is?
Sam : If we deflate the crike balloon Louise could wisper.
Luka: You want to take her off the vent?
Sam : Just for a few moments at a time.
Luka: She is requiring 100% oxygen
Sam : I take her off the vent every time I suction her and she’s fine. Come on, we both know it’s possible.
Luka: Technically, yes, but why risk it?
Sam : Because she wants to help.
Luka: She does or you do?
Sam : What is that supposed to mean?
Luka: [ a beat, softer ] You’re sensitive about these kinds of cases.
Sam : What?
Luka: You always want to stand up for women who’ve been assaulted.
Sam : And you don’t?
Luka: Of course I do. Maybe because of when you were with Steve?
Sam : Steve never raped me.
Luka: Physical abuse? Hitting you?
Sam : Oh, this has nothing to do with that.
Luka: Are you sure?
Sam : Yeah. There’s a violent rapist out there. How are you going to feel in two days, two weeks, a month from now when we get another woman like Louise in here.
[ Malik comes in and says: Hey, crit’s only 19 on your GI bleeder.Luka gives a nod to Malik ]
Sam : Go. Go.
[ Luka leaves. ]
[ Sam is preparing Louise’s body. Luka comes in and Sam notices him. Luka stands at the foot of the bed and Sam is looking at Louise’s face. ]
Luka: I thought they would have taken her by now.
Sam : Morgue’s backed up. Cororner’s backed up. Same ‘ol, same ‘ol. I thought you were with that (some medical term) kid.
Luka: Peds surgery took him up to the OR.
[ Sam starts to cry ]
Luka: Sam, you don’t need to do this.
Sam : I know.
Luka: There are other nurses.
Sam : I know.
Luka: Sam.
Sam : I shouldn’t have done it.
Luka: The contusions were severe. She could have died anyway.
'Sam : I shouldn’t have done it, Luka.
Luka: You did what you did to help the patient, Sam.
[ Pause ]
Luka: Sam?
Sam : When I deflated the balloon Louise was still so traumatized. He kept asking her all these questions and the only thing that she could remember was….. white guy, dark hair.
[ Luka walks up to Sam, standing behind her. ]
Sam : I did what I did for “white guy, dark hair.”

Shot in the Dark [11.08]

Sam : Where'd he get it? [long pause] You subscribe?
Luka: I like the articles!
Sam : Oh, please

Twas the Night [11.09]

Skin [11.10]

Only Connect [11.11]

Sam : He to young to go, and shouldn't even be listening to that kind of music anyways.
Luka: I did't know you already said no.
Sam : Luca, I'm trying to teach him the value of a dollar and you go and give him everything that he wants.
Luka: It was only fifty bucks.
Sam : For a concert ticket for a ten year old, NO. That's ridiculous.
Luka: I just don't think you should be worried about money so much.
Sam : Look, I appreciate your generosity, but I am not going to let you start paying for everything.
Luka: But you don't have to pay exactly half the rent and half the bills every month, that's ridiculous.
Sam : You know I've been taking care of me and Alex for 10 years on my own, I think I can handle it.
Luka: You know, this isn't about money at all. You're worried about losing your independence or something. And about my role in Alex's live. What are you worried you're losing control or something.
Sam : You know what, you always do this.
Luka: Do what?
Sam : This! Telling me what I'm really mad about.
Luka: Most of the time you don't know what you're really mad about.
[ Sam walks to the door ]
Luka: Sam, this isn't our stop
Neela: Does every 10-year old kid have ADHD?
Sam : ADD, A Gameboy and an I-Pod
Sam : You're really good at teaching other people how to communicate.
Luka: Thanks
Sam : We shoud try it ourselves sometime.
Luka: Yeah.
[ Silence, Luka gets a smirk on his face and tilts his head down to her a bit. ]
Luka: But my English, you know? I still need to work on it.
Sam : Aw, you're pulling the Croatian card? That's low!
[ She hits him gently and he pulls her into an embrace, hard. He looks down at her adoringly and she returns the look. ]
Luka: You were right about one thing.
Sam : Only one thing?
Luka: $50 is too much for a concert ticket.
[ She watches him as he comes in for a kiss. It's romantic as the camera pulls away and the show ends on them on the El kissing. ]

________________________________________________________________________

/After Abby was taken in the episode,'Skin', but cames back to the ER/

Dr. Susan Lewis: So how are you doing?

dr. Abby Lockhart: Good.

Dr. Susan Lewis: Really?

dr. Abby Lockhart: Never better.

Dr. Susan Lewis /asking surprisely/: Really?

dr. Abby Lockhart: I've processed all my feelings of anger,shame and guilt in an emotionally safe environment. I've addressed the urge to "use" alcohol....Oh, and I've consulted both a shaman and a guru. /elevator starting to close, Abby is still talking and bending to see Susan/ So, really, I'm all good.

The Providers [11.12]

Middleman [11.13]

Luka: He doesn't get to you?
Sam : Doctor Hair? I think he's kinda cute.
Luka: What?!
Sam : Surgery and ER have these battles in every hospital I've ever worked in. It's not personal. It's, surgeons think they're much better and smarter than everyone else. It's a defense mechanism. To make up for their terrible lifestyle.
Luka: The guy needs an ex-lap.
Sam : It's a pissing match, Luka. Let it go. Come on, you're taller and sexier, and you already got the girl.
Luka: This isn't about ego.
Sam : Oh, it's not?

Just as I Am [11.14]

Alone in a Crowd [11.15]

Here and There [11.16]

Back in the World [11.17]

Refusal of Care [11.18]

Ruby Redux [11.19]

You Are Here [11.20]

Carter est Amoureux [11.21]

Meredith Smart - Couples Therapist: What are you feeling, Luka?
Luka: I'm happy! I'm happy and Sam's not. I don't know why. We're healthy, we enjoy each other... our work. We have a good life.
Meredith Smart - Couples Therapist: How does that make you feel, Sam?
Sam : Like hitting him over the head with a hammer.
Meredith Smart - Couples Therapist: So what brings you to me today?
Sam : I don't think Luka and I should be together.

The Show Must Go On [11.22]

Carter: You set the tone, Morris.
Moris: : Huh ?
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Season 12

Cañon City [12.01]

[ About Alex, as he visits with Steve in prison ]
Sam : Steve doesn't care about us, but for some reason, that boy loves him.

Blame It on the Rain [12.04]

Frank: Aren't you two supposed to keep 50 feet apart or something?
Sam : Bite me, Frank.
Frank: If you ask me, you're better off without her.
Luka: I didn't.

Dream House [12.06]

Eve: Management is a bitch.
Sam : Yeah, it's not the only one.

The Human Shield [12.07]

Mr. Butler: I've got lawyers, lady.
Sam : Yeah? Well, I've got Jerry, so unless you want to be carried out of here like a dirty diaper, I suggest you sit down.
Frank: Well, if it isn't the "Hatchet Lady." Axe anybody else today?
Sam : Stick a sock in it, Frank.

Split Decisions [12.12]

[Morris tells Pratt he needs some advice]
Pratt: Stop smoking dope and slow down on the porn.

Quintessence of Dust [12.14]

Morris: Why are you still here?
Abby: Uh, 'cause my fridge at home was empty and I was hungry
Morris: [looking at the ice cream sandwich she is eating] Didn't I see you eating one of those 20 minutes ago?
Abby: This is my third.
Morris: Third? What are you, pregnant?
[pause, then Abby tries to act like this idea is crazy]
Abby: What? What are you talking about?
Morris: Oh my God, you are!
Abby: You're crazy.
Morris: You are, aren't you??
Abby: No...
Morris: You are totally pregnant!
Abby: So what, you're in love with Albright.
Morris: I am not!
Abby: Oh Morris, come on.
Morris: You shut up.
Abby: You shut up too.
Morris: You shut up first!
Pratt: Shut up about what?
Morris: Nothing.
Abby: Nothing.

Lost in America [12.17]

Dubenko: You know, I once ate a hash brownie before giving a big talk in Amsterdam. I mistakenly thought that it would take an hour to kick in...suddenly I was up on stage, completely out of my head, lecturing to a room full of biochemists in a faux French accent.

The Gallant Hero and the Tragic Victor[12.21]

(On his video to Neela)

Michael: So... hopefully you're never gonna see this thing. But if you are, then something went wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but certainly not according to plan. I love you, Neela. Marrying you was the happiest day of my life. You just, you make me strong. Now, I know you didn't want me to come back to Iraq. And if you're watching this, you owe me a big I told you so, but I did what I had to do. You're the most beautiful and kind person that I know. I just, want you to be happy. And just know that I'll always be with you. I want you to find somebody, get married, have a baby. Of course he won't be as fine as me, but you'll just gonna have to live with that. I love you Neela. Forever.

Luka: Everything alright with you?

Pratt: Yeah, why?

Luka: Sometimes it can be a difficult transition, coming back to this place.

Pratt: I'll be o.k. I was just a little rattled earlier. Cause of the whole Mike situation.

Luka: Well, good to have you back.

Pratt: Hey, thanks for making me go there.

Luka: Someday maybe you can tell me all about it?

Pratt: Yeah, someday.

Clemente: Abby, You can't give me Haldol. You can't give me Haldol, Abby. I'm not crazy. You understand?

Abby: It's o.k, it's o.k.

Clemente: Hey Ray! Come here, buddy, come here. Come here buddy, come here buddy. These freaking chicks are losing their minds. Come here and help me man!

Abby: Get Luka.

Clemente: (to paramedic) What are you gonna amputate my leg? (to Ray) Yeah, run to daddy, little bitch. Run to daddy little bitch.

Clemente: Get a head CT.

Kovac: What is wrong with you?!

Clemente: I'm trying to help you, that's all.

Kovac: You don't listen to a word anybody says! You're all over the place!

Ray: Did she just call you Mo?

Morris: It'a nickname. For Morris.

Abby: Or homo.

Morris: Ey, don't worry. That little vixen is getting punished tonight. Oh yeah, she's in store for a little (sings) Mo, Mo, Morris. How do you like it, how do you like it? Oh, yeah, Morris!

Neela:I got it!

Ray: What?

Neela:The surgical residency! I got it!

Ray: Oh yeah, that's great

Neela: Try to contain your enthusiasm

(Michael Gallant's last words)

Gallant: My wife, Neela, is a doc...

(His truck is destroyed by a bomb)

Ray: Get outta here.

Morris: I swear! She invited me in for a drink, the door wasn't even closed, she was tearing my clothes off.

Ray: Yeah, right.

Morris: To quote my man Rick James, the girl is a superfreak. (sings) Superfreak, she's super freaky yeaow! She had sex toys I'd never seen before. They must've been German or something. One took two hands to operate.

Ray: Morris!

Morris: Check it out. (picks up his camera-phone) Oh yeah, I tapped that.

Ray: What exactly am I looking at?

Morris: That's Albright.

Ray: Where?

Morris: Right there!

Ray: I've seen more convincing pictures of Bigfoot.

Morris: But, but it was dark, I couldn't use the flash!

(Luka and Abby discuss the possibility of taking a vacation while holding each other)

Abby: We could hang out by a pool... the ocean...

Luka: I could dig a hole in the sand for your big belly.

Abby: (Abby looks up at Luka and smiles) What is that? Some sort of Croatian mating ritual?

Luka: Uh-hum.

Abby: Am I a sea turtle?

Neela: I had to come home and find a photograph because I couldn't picture him in my head.

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Season 13

Bloodline [13.01]

[Luka and Abby discuss a name for their soon-to-be-born son.]
Abby: We don't have a name.
Luka: I was kind of hoping we could name him after my father.
Abby: Really?
Luka: Yeah. He would really love to have a grandson named Mongo.
Abby: M-mongo?
Luka: Yeah, it's a very popular name in Croatia.
[Luka grins, and they both laugh.]
Luka: I'm just kidding. My father's name is Josef. I don't care how we're gonna call him.
Abby and Luka head to the OR for Abby's C-section.]
Abby: I want to be awake, Luka.
Luka: You're OK. You're gonna be OK.
Dr. Coburn: 12 of betamethasone.
Abby: Oh, come on!
Dr. Coburn: We have to mature the baby's lungs in case of an emergent birth.
Abby: No, no, no, no, no! I have two and a half months left to go. This baby is not coming until then.
Abby: Is one going to be enough?
Luka: What?
Abby: One baby. Um, my uterus wouldn't stop bleeding and Coburn did everything she could but...
Luka: You had a hysterectomy? (Abby nods) Well, one is all we need.
Sam : You know, Steve, I was gonna ask you what happened to you to turn you into this. But then I realized it was always in the cards from the moment that I met you. You were on your way to becoming exactly what you are now.
Steve: I love him. I know you don't believe that. Especially right now. But I do.
Sam : Yeah, you love him. Right. That's why you get some woman to snatch him from school and tie him up and leave him in a van. You don't even remember his medicine.
Frank: You know, I always believed that nothing ever really changed. I'm old enough that I know that there's always gonna be trouble. War, taxes. Bad guys now are pretty much the same as bad guys have always been. That's not how I feel today. I feel like the world is getting worse and worse and worse. And that what we're watching is the slow, steady descent of the human race.
Pratt: No, no, I don't buy that. I think that today was just a bad day for the whole team.
[ Sam and Steve are in a high speed police chase. ]
Sam : Let us out! You don't need us anymore!
Steve: You're not prisoners, you're my family!
Sam : You're going to get your family killed! Is that what you want?
Dr. Coburn: You know I want you to have a healthy baby.
Abby: Then why do you keep focusing on the worst-case scenario?!
Luka: It's her job!

Graduation Day [13.02]

Frank: What'd you do, rob a pimp?
Morris: Yeah, your dad says hi.
Morris: I am not an ass-kissing company man; I'm an ass-kissing ER man, and I want my scrubs back.

Somebody to Love [13.03]

Parenthood [13.04]

Ames V. Kovac [13.05]

Abby: Didn't you used to be ... ?
Gates: A paramedic? Yeah, now I'm an intern.
Pratt: Next week he wants to be a cowboy.
Gates: Astronaut

Heart of the Matter [13.06]

Jigsaw [13.07]

Morris: Hey, Sam?
Sam : Yeah?
Morris: He's our AMA patient from this morning, right?
Sam : [takes a look] Yeah, the flu jerk
Morris: I should've stayed a resident. No responsibilities, just heal 'em and deal 'em, that was the life.
Sam : Morris, can I tell you something as a friend? (Morris nods) Sometimes you are such a little bitch! You make three times as much as I do, and for what? Give orders, instead of take them? Boo-hoo for you!
Sam : How long have you been congested?

Willis Peyton: I don't know, does it matter?

Sam : No, I'm just making conversation.

Crisis of Conscience [13.16]

Dr. Lucien Dubenko: Save the cheerleader, save the world (TV-Show "Heroes" repeated quote)
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Season 14

Skye's The Limit [14.09]

[ Anspaugh announced a temporary Chief ]
Morris:Here we go again.
[Sam gave to Frank an order ]
Frank: I liked you better when you were a blonde.
[when Morris told her to squeeze the exercise balls]
Sam :Archie, you couldn't pay me to touch your balls
↑Jump back a section

Season 15

Life After Death [15.01]

Morris: Raise your cheese as we embrace the memory of our colleague, our mentor, our chief, our dear friend... To Greg!


And in the End ... [15.22]

/turning to Mark Green's grown up daughter Rachel/
Carter: : Dr. Greene... you coming? (last non-diagnostic line in the series)


Seventh Disaster Paramedic: Tight wheezing throughout the ride, pulse ox 88.
Morris: Check for singed nosehairs from smoke inhalation. Set up for intubation.
Eighth Disaster Paramedic: 38-year-old man. 12-foot fall, no sensation from the waist down.
Morris: Tracy, CT, L-spine, page neurosurgeon. Go! (final lines in the series)
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Last modified on 14 May 2013, at 18:38