Last modified on 26 June 2014, at 04:53

Dexter (TV series)

Dexter (2006–2013) was a television series airing on Showtime, starring Michael C. Hall. Series is about a serial killer with standards who works for the Miami Metro Police Department as a blood-spatter analyst.

Season 1Edit

Dexter [1.01]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again and again. It has to happen.

Mike Donovan: I couldn't help myself. I couldn't. Please, you have to understand.
Dexter: Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can't help myself either. But children? I could never do that. Not like you. Never … ever … kids.
Mike Donovan: Why?
Dexter: I have standards.

Dexter: [voiceover] Harry was a great cop here in Miami. He taught me how to think like one; he taught me how to cover my tracks. I'm a very neat monster.

Dexter: [voiceover] There's something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you're in a new and daring section of Disney World: Dahmerland!

Dexter: [voiceover, about the doll parts in his freezer] I suppose I should be upset, even feel violated, but I'm not. No, in fact, I think this is a friendly message, like "Hey, wanna play?" And yes, I want to play. I really, really do.

Crocodile [1.02]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure … I'm totally lost.

Dexter: We have an elephant in the room, and its name is sex.
Rita: [laughs weakly] Tell me about it.
Dexter: Hey, as far as I'm concerned, it can just stay in the corner and mind its own damn business.
Rita: [softly] Easier said than done.
Dexter: Yeah, [gently brushes her hair back] but it needs to be right, for both of us. Or it won't be right for either of us. I don't want that, do you?
Rita: No. [pause] You know, [hugs Dexter tightly] I can't believe I found the one good truly decent man left on the planet.

Debra: Watching ice melt. This is fun.
Vince: Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart.
Angel: I think he's got a crush on you, Dex!
Dexter: Huh?
Vince: Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuka only swings one way.
Debra: Yeah, from vine to vine
Maria: Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.

Dexter: [voiceover] My sister puts up a front so people won't know how vulnerable she really is. Me? I put up a front so people won't know how vulnerable I'm not.

Dexter: [voiceover] The worst thing about finally putting together a puzzle is finding there are missing pieces. He came back and left nothing behind but a message: "Come find me", and I will. There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.

Popping Cherry [1.03]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] Most people have a hard time dealing with death, but I'm not most people. It's the grief that makes me uncomfortable. Not because I'm a killer. Really, I just don't understand all that emotion, which makes it tough to fake. In those cases, shades come in handy.

Debra: I'm real proud of you for coming, bro. I know you hate funerals. How are you holding up?
Dexter: I'm managing. [voiceover] No, I'm not. Keeping my face pinched in sorrow for two hours is a real chore.

[At the ice hockey rink]
Dexter: [voiceover] I knew he'd be back. It feels like Christmas morning. [approaches the body in net] Look at that, a miracle on ice. Stunning.
Angel Batista: You all right, Dexter?
Dexter: This is like a dream. [confused look from Angel] Standing on the home ice of the Miami Blades?

Harry Morgan: When you take a man's life, you're not just killing him. You're snuffing out all the things that he might become. As a cop, I only fire my weapon to save a life – that's a code I live by. Killing must serve a purpose. Otherwise, it's just plain murder.

Dexter: [voiceover] Harry taught me that death isn't the end. It's the beginning of a chain reaction that will catch you if you're not careful. He taught me that none of us are who we appear to be on the outside. But we must maintain appearances to survive. But there was something Harry didn't teach me. Something he didn't know, couldn't possibly know. The willful taking of life represents the ultimate disconnect from humanity. It leaves you an outsider, forever looking in, searching for company to keep.

Let's Give the Boy a Hand [1.04]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] Human bonds always lead to messy complications. Commitment. Sharing. Driving people to the airport.

Dexter: [voiceover] I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask … not just me. People think it's fun to pretend you're a monster. Me, I spend my life pretending I'm not. Brother, friend, boyfriend – all part of my costume collection. Some people might call me a fraud. Let's see if it will fit. I prefer to think of myself as a master of disguise.

Dexter: [voiceover] Harry was the only one who saw me, really saw me. So he taught me to hide and that's what's kept me safe. But sometimes I'm not sure where Harry's vision of me ends and where the real me starts. If I'm just a collection of learned behaviors, bits and pieces of Harry, maybe my new friend is right. Maybe I am a fraud.

Dexter: [voiceover] Everyone hides who they are at least some of the time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply you have to be reminded it's even there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are altogether... I'm not the monster he wants me to be. So I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I'm Dexter. Boo.

Love American Style [1.05]Edit

[Dexter is staring off into space at a crime scene]
Dexter: [voiceover] I like to pretend I'm alone. Completely alone. Maybe post-apocalypse or plague … whatever. No one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be … freeing.
Doakes: Stop grinning like a fucking psycho and get back to work!

Officer Gerard: Freedom's just another word for one more way to get fucked.

Mindy: So, are you going to go to the spring formal?
Teenage Dexter: Why would I want to do that?
[Hurt, Mindy leaves]
Harry Morgan: She wanted you to ask her to the dance, Dexter.
Teenage Dexter: That's not what she said.
Harry Morgan: Well, you have to learn their signals.
Teenage Dexter: Yeah, well, I don't really care about girls.
Harry Morgan: Oh.
Teenage Dexter: I just like being alone.
Harry Morgan: But most normal people don't, and it's important that you seem normal.
Teenage Dexter: Even though I'm not.
Harry Morgan: Because you're not.

Angel: Don't go down that emotion road, just go down on her. She'll be distracted.

Dexter: [voiceover, packing supplies for a kill] "Be prepared" – that's my motto. The Boy Scouts and I have that in common. Of course, there's no merit badge for tonight's outing.

Return to Sender [1.06]Edit

Harry Morgan: Keeping the truth from the people closest to you is how you'll survive, and how you'll protect them if anything goes wrong.

Dexter: [voiceover] Nothing lasts forever. Just ask a Ford Pinto. Eventually, most serial killers get caught. There's really not much of a retirement plan; but, it can't end like this; it's too soon; I'm not ready.

Debra: The guy's missing body parts because of this Ice-Truck Killer asshole, and he's still hitting on me!
Doakes' Mother: That's because men only think with one body part, and that one was not cut off.

Angel: Sounds like she got what she had coming to her. Personally, I'd like to shake the guy's hand.
Dexter:[voiceover] Sure, you say that now...

Dexter: [voiceover] Rita will be devastated if I'm arrested. Her husband was a crack-head and her boyfriend's a serial killer. It's kinda hard not to take that personally.

Circle of Friends [1.07]Edit

Dexter: The FBI estimates that there are less that 50 serial killers active in the United States today. We don't get together at conventions, share trade secrets, or exchange Christmas cards … but sometimes I wonder what it's like for the others.

Dexter: When'd you first notice it? This darkness inside the guy you fell for?
Rita: Well, I always knew it was there. I guess I just didn't think I deserved better – until I met you.
[Long pause]
Dexter: I have a dark side, too. [Rita laughs] What? I do.
Rita: Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You're not like Paul; you don't hurt people.
Dexter: [another pause] Innocent people. I don't hurt innocent people.

Dexter: The Ice-Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies, and only then severs their limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry, on the other hand, stuffs roadkill.
Debra: Yeah! And turns 'em into fucked up fantasy shit.
Dexter: But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're looking for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic.
Debra: How do you know?
Dexter: [pause] Because it is pathetic.

Dexter: [voiceover, about Paul] He might be a crack-addled, wife-abusing yahoo, but he refuses to abandon his kids. I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Dexter: You killed again. I told you, I warned you. Don't kill anyone who doesn't deserve to die. Why did you do it?
Jeremy Downs: To feel something different.
Dexter: Different than what? What do you normally feel?
Jeremy Downs: Nothing. Fucking nothing at all. I hate every fucking goddamn second of it. I can't stand it – living my life in my head.
Dexter: Does killing make it better?
Jeremy Downs: No. Worse. Fucking worse than ever.
Dexter: I'm a lot like you, you know.
Jeremy Downs: [scoffs] Yeah, right. You're a killer?
Dexter: [gives him a look] I'm empty. But I found a way to make it feel less … bottomless.
Jeremy Downs: How?
Dexter: Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be.

Shrink Wrap [1.08]Edit

Dexter: [at a crime scene] What are we looking at here?
Angel: I'm thinking two circus clowns dancing. You?
Dexter: Nah, looks like a lobster. See the claws?
Angel: Why do bloodstains always look like crustaceans to you?
Dexter: I like seafood.
Angel: Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others.

Scott Solomon: Meridian? Best thing that's ever happened to me … so far. How about you? You finding him helpful?
Dexter: I'm a sociopath; there's not much he can do for me.
Scott Solomon: Cute and funny. Let me guess, taken?
Dexter: Girlfriend.
Scott Solomon: Lucky girl.

Dexter: [voiceover] My therapist wants me to accept the things that are out of my hands. Tragically for him, he's not out of my hands.

Dexter: [voiceover] I can't have sex with Rita. Every time I sleep with a woman, she sees me for what I really am. Empty. Then she's gone. But I don't want Rita to go, which means I have to deal with this. [pause] I can't kill Meridian yet – I need another therapy session.

Dexter: I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before.
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Okay.
Dexter: I'm a serial killer. [pause] Oh God. That feels … so amazing to say out loud.
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Well, you must be letting go, 'cause I've never heard you make a joke before.
Dexter: I'm not joking; I kill people. Whoo. There it is again. [pause] You should try it. I know — your big bad wolf has racked up a tidy little death toll.

Father Knows Best [1.09]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] I know the truth, because Harry always told me the truth. He had to, he was teaching me principles. A Code. He knew what I would become without it.

Rita: Hello.
Paul: Hey babe, it's Paul. Just making sure dear Dexter is dealing decently with his dead dad.
Rita: We're fine, everyone's fine. Alright, we'll see you on Monday.
Paul: Talk to me, you having fun? Cause I'm not.
Rita: Paul.
Paul: Would've if I'd have taken my kids to the circus. We'd be eating peanuts right now, stepping in elephant shit.
Rita: Paul, this is not helping my confidence in you.
Paul: Oh, I think you've got enough confidence for both of us.
Rita: Look if you want to work towards building more visitation days and not less, you need to avoid this kind of behavior right here. Now I think you might just politely hang up.
Paul: OK, you're right, I'm sorry. You have a great weekend. [hangs up phone]

[Dexter calls Vince]
Vince Masuka|Vince]]: Masuka.
Dexter: Hey, it's Dexter Morgan.
Vince: Dude, I know your last name.
Dexter: Yeah, I need a favor. A DNA comparison.
Vince: I thought you were away for the weekend with the girlfriend. What, she surfin' the crimson wave?

Debra: [answering her phone] Morgan here.
Vince: Wait, did I call the hot Morgan by mistake? Freudian. My subconscious has been exposed.
Debra: Well, zip it up and tell me what's going on.

Seeing Red [1.10]Edit

Debra: [eating cake] Hey, you want some? It's Kirk Wylocks' cake.
Doakes: I had some, at Kirk's birthday. 10 days ago. See, if you have lunch every day with your boyfriend, you miss a thing or two around here.
Debra: Cake's still good; it's mocha, I think.
Doakes: It started out vanilla.

[Examining a jar of blood received in the mail]
Assistant: Maybe you should open it.
Dexter: What if there's an airborne toxin in here waiting to be released?
Assistant: I've got to wash my hands. [rushes past]
Dexter: So gullible. ... It's definitely blood.

Dexter: [voiceover] My sister's right, I don't share my problems with her. Or with anybody. Harry taught me that. Secrecy, self-reliance … and a well-stocked cupboard of Hefty bags.

[After stuffing Paul into the trunk of his car]
Rita: Where were you?
Dexter: Taking out the trash.

Dexter: [voiceover] So this is doom. I've been the architect of so much of it, it's only fair that I should know what the fuss is all about. He left me this room for a reason. Five women gave their blood, their lives for this moment. There's only one way to find out why.

Truth Be Told [1.11]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] I've never had much use for the concept of Hell, but if Hell exists, I'm in it. The same images running through my head over and over. I was there. I saw my mother's death. A buried memory forgotten all these years. It climbed inside me that day, and it's been with me every since. My Dark Passenger.

Rudy/Brian: [while gift-wrapping dismembered parts] Deck the halls with parts of bodies, fa la la la la, la la la la.

Dexter: [voiceover] Thinking Rudy attacked Batista doesn't make any sense. He's a loving boyfriend, he spends his life helping people in need. He brought me steaks. [lock-picking attempt thwarted] Now, that's just rude. Why would loving and helpful Rudy need an industrial-grade lock? And a security camera?

Rudy/Brian: Debra Morgan, will you marry me?
Debra: I knew it, I fucking knew it!
Rudy/Brian: Is that your version of a yes?

Rudy/Brian: You know the one thing I've been dying to ask you? How did you not know who I was? You're a cop.
Debra: This isn't funny.
Rudy/Brian: I think a real cop would at least have a sense she was in the presence of the person she was hunting.

Born Free [1.12]Edit

Dexter: I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see.

Debra: [sobbing] This isn't you.
Rudy/Brian: Pretty sure it is.
Debra: No, no there's more. I've seen it.
Rudy/Brian: I never wanted to hurt you.
Debra: I know. I know.
Rudy/Brian: [pause] Does this make it easier for you? Because I can keep going.

Rudy/Brian: I just wanted to have a beer with you before we got started. Made that kind of difficult.
Dexter: Sorry.
Rudy/Brian: You don't ever have to apologize to me, Dexter. Not for who you are, or anything you do.

Rudy/Brian: Your victims. Are they all killers?
Dexter: Yes.
Rudy/Brian: Harry teach you that?
Dexter: He taught me a code. To survive.
Rudy/Brian: Like an … absurd avenger?
Dexter: That's not why I kill.
Rudy/Brian: You can be yourself around me. Who. Am. I?
Dexter: A killer. Without reason or regret. Free.
Rudy/Brian: You can be that way too.
Dexter: But the code …
Rudy/Brian: [laughs] Dex! You don't have a code. Harry did. Now he's been dead ten years. You can't keep – keep him sitting on your shoulder like Jiminy Fucking Cricket! You need to embrace who you are now.
Dexter: I don't know who I am.
Rudy/Brian: 'Course you don't. You've been away from your family since you were three. But I'm here now. I can help you. We can take this journey together.
Dexter: I can't. Not Deb …
Rudy/Brian: No – no, don't say that.
Dexter: I'm very … fond of her.
Rudy/Brian: You can't be a killer and a hero. It doesn't work that way!

Dexter: [voiceover] Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for everything inside me that's denied and unknown to be revealed. But I'll never know. I live my life in hiding. My survival depends on it.

Season 2Edit

It's Alive! [2.01]Edit

Dexter: Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again, and again. It has to happen. It's not what I want. But what I want doesn't matter. This is the only way I know how to survive. I'm coiled and ready to strike.
[Dexter bowls]
Dexter: Although a spare will do.

Dexter: [voiceover] I'm on edge. Thirty-eight days, sixteen hours, and twelve minutes have passed since I killed my brother. In that entire time, I haven't had a single night to myself. Sergeant Doakes makes sure of that. He follows me everywhere now. A human bloodhound incited by the scent of darkness. My best hope of losing him is to act relentlessly normal. Dull. So I bowl. What's really disturbing is that I'm good at it.

Dexter: [voiceover] With Doakes following me, my life has been all Jekyll and no Hyde. No moonlit playdates. No late night social calls. Not one. My brother would be so disappointed.
Angel: Don't forget! Tell the universe what you really need!
Dexter: [voiceover] I really need … to kill somebody.

[Dexter packs away several killing tools while on the phone to Rita]
Dexter: I need your help. I know how much you were looking forward to going out tonight, but I think Deb could use you more.
Rita: Dexter, this … isn't about this morning, is it?
Dexter: No, no! I swear! This is about Deb. She had her first day at work today, and LaGuerta was kind of rough on her.
[Debra knocks on the door]
Debra: Dexter, unlock the door.
Dexter: [to Rita] Hold on. [to Debra] Hold on!
Debra: Dexter, come on! Dexter, open the fucking door!
Dexter: [to Rita] See, she's yelling at me now. Look, I'm no expert, but I think Deb could use some girl time tonight.
Rita: Well, I won't lie. I'm a little disappointed. But, I know your heart's in the right place.
[Dexter puts a butcher's knife in a bag]
Dexter: Absolutely.

[Little Chino escapes from Dexter]
Dexter: Thirty-nine days, twenty-two hours and eighteen minutes since I killed my brother. I am cursed.

Waiting to Exhale [2.02]Edit

Dexter: I'm drifting. I finally get a chance to kill and I can't do it. I get a second chance and he gets away. And now all my secrets are floating to the surface. Where is the orderly controlled effective Dexter? Where did I lose him? How do I find him again? I'm drifting. But not to sleep.

Doakes: Any idea who the FBI's sending?
Angel: Some guy named Lundy.
Doakes: Frank Lundy? He's a rock star. The Green River Killer; the DC Sniper; the case was impossible – he broke it.

Dexter: Still, it can't be easy to hide a body nowadays.
Vince: Are you shitting me?
Dexter: Hypothetical. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher. How do you make sure that disposed bodies stay disposed?
Vince: Tons of options. Everglades. Alligators. Pig farms. Sulphuric acid. Woodchipper. Incinerator. Hell, even meat pies.

Lundy: There's been speculation that this human harvest is connected to a case we recently solved. But there are several inconsistencies between the two sets of body parts. Gender. Exsanguination. Specific methods of dissection.
Dexter: [voiceover] Not to mention my guys deserved it.

Priest: I'm sorry for your loss.
Dexter: Thank you, father.
Brian: I'm not sorry.
Dexter: You're still here.
Brian: Never left.
Dexter: Yeah, you did. I killed you.
Brian: No. You just took my life.
Dexter: So, how do I make you go away?
Brian: Hm. Well, you could try doing what these people are doing.
Dexter: I'm not like them.
Brian: Well, if it helps, I can tell you that it's not your fault. What you did to me.
Dexter: I never said it was.
Brian: But you feel it.
Dexter: How do you know that?
Brian: It's human nature.
Dexter: I'm not human.
Brian: No. You're just fucked up.
Dexter: I need to let you go.
Brian: You think it's as simple as that?
Dexter: Nothing's simple.

An Inconvenient Lie [2.03]Edit

Addict: I don't need them for the pain anymore. I just … need them.
Dexter: [voiceover] And I need duct tape. Three or four rolls. Running low on heavy duty trash bags. When's the last time I sharpened my knives?

Dexter: [about dead bodies] Are you hoping they'll talk to you?
Lundy: The one's with heads anyway. They always speak, eventually. Just gotta ask the right question.
Dexter: Which is?
Lundy: Why were they chosen?
Dexter: You looking for a pattern?
Lundy: One doesn't kill this many people in this careful, methodical way without a reason. Some … twisted set of principles.
Dexter: They would have to be twisted, wouldn't they?
Lundy: The worst killers in history are usually the one's who think the murders were somehow … just. Even deserved. Leaders have slaughtered whole populations for the same warped reason.
Dexter: But there's never any justification for killing.
Lundy: No. Well, one, of course. To save an innocent life.
Dexter: To save an innocent life.

Roger: Where am I?
Dexter: Looks different under plastic, but you spent an evening here with Anne Cowen. You took her last breath from her right over there, you remember?
Roger: No. Y-you're wrong. I wouldn't!
Dexter: No, you would. And you did. And you were about to do it again; that's why we're here.
Roger: No, this is crazy. You got the wrong guy. I-I sell cars, for God's sake! I'd never hurt anyone in my life – definitely not a woman!
Dexter: … Why can't I do that?
Roger: Do what?
Dexter: Lie like that! I thought I was good, but you? It's … mwah.
Roger: I don't lie!
Dexter: Okay, that one was weak.
Roger: 'Kay, look. Pick any car on the lot. It's yours. T-bird, town car, you name it. Y-yours. Free. I'll call it in right now.
Dexter: Lot's closed.
Roger: I'll have them open it up. I'm the manager. They do what I say.
Dexter: The manager's name is Rick Buxton!
Roger: Well, yeah, but I've been there longer than he has.
Dexter: You've been there three months!
Roger: At the other lot.
Dexter: Ha, ha! It's like watching someone ski moguls. You just hop from one lie to the next. No shame, no embarassment. You just don't give a shit. That's the key, right? Not to care about anyone or anything.
Roger: I care. I care a lot.
Dexter: No, it was a compliment. I don't care either.
Roger: Yes, you do. Like about your wife.
Dexter: Not married.
Roger: Girlfriend, then. Saw it the minute you walked on the lot.
Dexter: What did you see? Tell me.
Roger: Look, most guys your age, they'd beeline right for the horse power, or something. Flashy, sexy. But you. You're there all alone, no one there to nag you, and you don't even glance at the coups. The only thing you look at is the mini-van. Like you can see her in the passenger's seat, and the kids in the back.
Dexter: Leave the kids out.
Roger: See? You're lying to yourself if you think you don't care.
Dexter: She's just a companion, really. Started that way, anyway. Someone who … looks good. Normal.
Roger: They worm their way in.
Dexter: Yeah, they do. And they shut you out.
Roger: … That's what this is about? That she shut you out? Oh! Man, okay, I get it. I've been there. But you can't let her get to you like this, 'cause – 'cause they're all the same! Fucking bitches! You do everything for them, and then they fuck you! She's not worth it, all right? You're better off without that cunt!
Dexter: [enraged] Don't …
[Dexter slams his knife into Roger's chest]
Dexter: … talk that way about my girlfriend!

Dexter: I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I am.
Everyone: Hi, Dexter.
Dexter: I just know there's something dark in me. I hide it. Certainly don't talk about it. But it's there. Always. This … Dark Passenger. How when he's driving, I feel … alive. Half-sick with the thrill, complete wrongness. I don't fight him. I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even … especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because, lately, there are these moments that I feel connected to something else. Someone. It's like … the mask is slipping, and things, people, that never mattered before, are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me.

Doakes: I knew there was something wrong with you. The secrets, the sneaking around. Now it all makes sense. Lot of cops have been where you are. The booze, the drugs. Makes the job go down easier. Stay clean, and stay out of my way, and we won't have a problem.
[Doakes starts leaving]
Doakes: Oh, and you owe me a new Michelin, you motherfucker.

See-Through [2.04]Edit

[Cody has had a nightmare]
Dexter: What was it, the big scary ghost or the alligator?
Cody: No. The Bay Harbor Butcher.
Rita: Oh, honey.
Dexter: He would never hurt you. But I'll let you in on a secret. My sister Debra, who is a secret police agent ninja warrior, said he only kills bad people. And you're not a bad person, are you?
Cody: No.
Dexter: Then you're quite safe.

Lila: So, tell me. Why do you use?
Dexter: … Why? I dunno, it's just part of who I am.
Lila: And who are you?
Dexter: I'm, uh … a bad person.
Lila: Ha ha. You haven't got the first idea who you are, have you? Dexter, meet Dexter. I'm gonna help the two of you get to know each other.
Dexter: Doesn't really seem necessary.
Lila: The first step to recovery is getting to know who you are.
Dexter: I thought the first step was admitting you have a problem.
Lila: And before you can accept who you are, you have to know who you are. So that's our first job. You're going to tell me all your deepest, darkest secrets.

Lila: I think you should give me another chance.
Dexter: There's nothing you can do to help me. It's not even you. It's me. I am who I am, and nobody's gonna change that.
Lila: Whatever you think you are – you don't have to be that.
Dexter: That's where you're wrong.
Lila: Stop judging yourself! There are no absolutes. No one's all good, or evil.
Dexter: You're just gonna have to trust me on this.
Lila: Jesus, Dexter, what are you so fucking scared of!? You make yourself into a monster so you no longer bear responsibility for what you do! "Ah, I can't help it, I'm a monster," or, "Of course I was gonna do that – I'm a monster." It's sad! And it's pathetic! And it breaks my heart.
Dexter: You don't think there are monsters in this world? You don't believe that people are evil?
[Lila shakes her head]
Dexter: I'll show you evil.

[Lila looks at some of the Bay Harbor Butcher's victims]
Lila: It's … incredible.
Dexter: But the person who did this –
Lila: Is a person just like me. Like you. We're all good, Dexter. And we're all evil.
Dexter: [thoughts] I thought I closed the door for anybody ever seeing me for who I am. But, this woman sees me. She doesn't know it, but she's looking behind the mask, and she's not turning away.

Dexter: It's an odd sensation to be experiencing what might be called "hope" for the first time in my life. At the same time, I find myself weighing the benefits between electrocution versus lethal injection. But here I am.

The Dark Defender [2.05]Edit

Debra: [drinks coffee] Oh sweet Mary mother of fuck, that's good.
Dexter: Think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.

Debra: If dad taught us one thing, it's the value of human life.
Dexter: [voiceover] Yeah, but I think we had different homework assignments.

Dexter: [voiceover] I never really got the whole superhero thing. But lately, it does seem we have a lot in common – tragic beginnings … secret identities … part human, part mutant … [looking over at Doakes] archenemies.

Lila: Where did you drift off to, anyway?
Dexter: I was having this bizarre dream about my mother.
Lila: Say no more. Oedipus complex, explains a lot.

Dexter: [to the man who killed his mother] You stole my life. I'm not the person I'm supposed to be because you took someone from me.

Dex, Lies, and Videotape [2.06]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] The full force of the FBI, that's the last thing I need. I've got to make sure Lundy gets his man, after I figure out a way to erase the marina files, and make up with my girlfriend, and then maybe I'll tackle world hunger because things can't really get much worse.

Lila: [to Dexter, after a bout of semi-rough sex] I guess we found a way to quiet the voices in your head.

Dexter: [voiceover] The voices are back. Excellent.

Angel: [laying a hand on Dexter's shoulder; referring to the Bay Harbor Butcher] We've never been this close to this pendejo.
Dexter: [voiceover] Closer than you think, amigo.

Debra: You're such a guy. When I get pissed I say stuff I don't mean all the time: I hate you. I faked it. You're hung like a grape.

That Night, a Forest Grew [2.07]Edit

Doakes: You finally decided to fight back. I've been waiting.
Dexter: I hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday.
Doakes: You might have been, for hell I know. Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. I tried every avenue, legal and otherwise, but there ain't no paper trail on the early years of Dexter Morgan.
Dexter: I guess there's no recorder running after all.
Doakes: No, man. Unlike you, I do everything out in the open.
Dexter: Well, in that case, sergeant, let me put this in the open for you. No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason.
Doakes: And what's that?
Dexter: I own you.

Debra: Who's the skank?
Dexter: Deb, did knocking occur to you?
Debra: Who is she? [Noticing the large amount of candles] And are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?
Dexter: Hey I didn't do this to you when you were riding square-jaw guy with the handcuffs.

Morning Comes [2.08]Edit

Lundy: Can I offer you some tea?
Dexter: Uh, no, thank you, I'm – [thoughts] And he pours it anyway. He's trying to throw me off balance, show that I don't have the power to say no to him.
Lundy: How about some sesame crackers to go with that?
Dexter: [thoughts] So I'll say yes to everything. [speech] I'd love some.
Lundy: [checks box] Oh, sorry. Guess I ate them all.
Dexter: [thoughts] Asshole.

Lundy: So you, one of the most cautious and precise forensic specialists I've had the pleasure to work with, you performed blood work that directly led to Rodrigo walking free. I ask myself, how the hell did that happen?
Dexter: [voiceover] And did you answer, Dexter blew the case on purpose so that he could get Rodrigo off the streets for good with a cordless reciprocating saw?

Debra: [about Lundy] So he's 20 years older than me, what do you care?
Dexter: I don't. [pause] I mean, [sits down, leans close] I'm sure you wouldn't do anything like that.
Debra: What are you talking about, do anything like what?
Dexter: Like, try to sleep your way to the top.
Debra: You douche! That is so not true!
Dexter: Of course not, I shouldn't have even said anything, and I'm sure that thought would never even occur to anybody else.
Debra: Double-douche! You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing Little Miss "Pardon My Tits". I'm sorry, Dex, but she is gross. And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty vampire.
Dexter: You just described the perfect woman.
[Debra is disgusted]

Dexter: [voiceover] Lila almost had me believing it was possible. To change, to become something else – as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. [pulls on gloves] If the glove fits …

Dexter: It's one thing to fuck with me another to fuck with [pauses] my ex-girlfriend who hates me. The Lila experiment is officially over.

Resistance Is Futile [2.09]Edit

Dexter: [to Rita] I'm sorry. I feel … such regret, which is rare for me. Not that I don't mess up, I do, just never so stupendously. I had you, and them; I had us. So much to have, and to just demolish it. I honestly thought I was smarter than that. Rude awakening.

Dexter: [voiceover, on Lila] Can't live with her, can't kill her.

Lundy: What exactly is Sergeant Doakes' problem with you, Morgan?
Dexter: [voiceover] I kill people, for one.

Doakes: Jesus Christ, Morgan. Jesus fucking Christ. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher.
Dexter: I really hate that name.

Doakes: Shut the fuck up. Let's get this over with. [tosses handcuffs] Put 'em on.
[Dexter hesitates]
Doakes: Morgan, you're done. Give it up.
Dexter: Would you, in my position?
Doakes: I wouldn't be in your position, you sick fuck.
Dexter: You sure about that? You might want to check with Lundy.

There's Something About Harry [2.10]Edit

Dexter: Why couldn't you just leave me to do my work in peace? Why'd you have to go and ruin everything?
Doakes: You're a killer. I catch killers.
Dexter: So do I. I caught you.
Doakes: I'm not a killer.
Dexter: [chuckles] You are. That's why you've always known what I am. That's why you have more officer-related shootings than anybody else. Only I don't fuck with you when you shoot somebody. Why couldn't you pay me the same professional courtesy?
Doakes: There's nothing professional about what you do. I kill when I have to, on the job.
Dexter: Oh, so it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it?

Dexter: [voiceover] I remember when life was easy. When the only question I worried about was who's next. Now it's: How can I dodge my "protective detail"? What should I do with my "hostage"? These are not easy questions.

Dexter: Regardless of how we got here, one of the two killers in this cabin has to go away.
Doakes: I am not a killer.
Dexter: Right. In terms of who goes, it boiled down to a philosophical question: which one of us has more inherent worth?
Doakes: I know you're fucking kidding me.
Dexter: First I considered our value to the community. That was a wash. We're both loyal civil servants, we work hard to keep the city clean.
Doakes: … You cut people up into little pieces …
Dexter: Then I looked at our personal lives, and … well, it's where the differences became clearer. Strange as it may seem, I have people who depend on me. They would be devastated if they found out what I do. You, Sergeant, you're more of a lone wolf. Easier to put down, no one in the pack to miss you.
Doakes: Fuck you. Fuck you, Morgan, I have a family. I have my mother, my sisters.
Dexter: Who you never visit. Puts a pit in my stomach, that I can only interpret as … sadness. If you had a personal life, you might not have made me your obsession, and we might not be here right now.

Dexter: [voiceover] When the Feds receive these kill tools with their suspect's prints on them, the only threat to me will be the inane rants of a murderous madman. So close I can feel it. This tragic tale might still end in Doakes' demise, but not by my hands. Harry's legacy will remain intact.

Dexter: Don't test me, Sergeant. I could have killed you. I didn't.
Doakes: You didn't because you can't. I've had time to think about this, Morgan. I don't fit that code you were talking about, do I? At first I thought the Butcher only went after criminals because nobody gives a God damn what happens to them. But now … now I think you got a conscience.
Dexter: Of course I have a conscience. I left you a place to shit, didn't I? [pause] It's a small conscience.

Left Turn Ahead [2.11]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] I always thought hardening arteries squeezed the life out of my father. But it was me. Harry gazed into the eyes of his creation and saw evil, pure and simple. My evil. It killed him.
Doakes: That shit about your father. You wanna talk about it?
Dexter: About what? That my life is one tragic mistake?
Doakes: We've all felt that at one time or another. I know I have.
Dexter: Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point?

Dexter: [voiceover] Harry's heart gave out when he saw what's inside me. He thought he could tame it, give it a purpose, help it find a place in the natural order. Guess he was wrong.

Dexter: [voiceover] It won't be long now. I can hang this on Doakes and then … then what? Years of trials and appeals. With him pointing his finger and calling me killer. For such a neat monster I'm making an awfully big mess.

Dexter: In the long run it would be easier on Deb. Rita. Better than watching me dragged in like an animal. Which, let's face it, will happen. Some day.

Dexter: I really enjoyed our conversations, James. I lie to everyone I know. Except my victims, right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. Sorry about the cage.

The British Invasion [2.12]Edit

Dexter: [voiceover] Sleep, what a concept. I can't believe I actually contemplated turning myself in. This is so much better than a prison cell. I can squeeze fresh orange juice, savor a fine French roast, grab a morning workout. Okay, working out I could have done in prison. But still, I'm free.

Lila: Who put you in there?
Doakes: A fucking psycho. And he could be back any minute. Grab that key, right behind you on the wall.
Lila: Who is he?
Doakes: His name is Dexter Morgan. I need you to open this gate.
Lila: Why would he do that, put you in there?
Doakes: Because I found out that he's the fucking Bay Harbor Butcher! Please, just open this fucking gate!
Lila: He's the Butcher …?
Doakes: This is what I've been trying to tell you.
Lila: What's in there?
Doakes: Exactly what you think it is. It's evidence. And I saw what happened. I really need to get out of this cage, lady.
Lila: Poor thing, all alone …
Doakes: I'm okay. Just open the gate.
Lila: Not you. Dexter. Hiding such an enormous secret … what burden that's got to be. No wonder he was so shut down.
Doakes: What are you? His accomplice?
Lila: His soulmate.

Lila: What do you think I wanted?
Dexter: To know what it's like. To feel something that deeply. Anything. That's why you hang out in recovery groups. You're emotionally colorblind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but the feelings never come to pass.
Lila: It's not true.
Dexter: It is, Lila. You know the dictionary definition of emotions. Longing, joy, sorrow. But you have no idea what any of those things actually feel like.

Dexter: [voiceover] It's strange to have a creation out there. A deeply mutated version of yourself, running loose and screwing everything up... I wonder if this is how parents feel.

Dexter: [voiceover] Not long ago I had a dream that people could see me for what I am. And for a brief instant in time, the world actually saw my bodies of work. Some even cheered. But as it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. Sorry, James.
I think Harry knew that from the start. That's why he gave me a code. It cost him his life, but it kept me alive through incredible trials. The code is mine now, and mine alone. So too are the relationships I cultivate.
They're not just disguises anymore. I need them. Even if they make me vulnerable. My father might not approve, but I'm no longer his disciple. I'm a master now. An idea transcended into life.
And so this is my new path. Which is a lot like the old one, only mine. To stay on that path I need to work harder, explore new rituals, evolve. Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. Does anyone?

Dexter: [voiceover] When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. Believers in a higher power. If you believe that God makes miracles you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. But when you don’t believe in anything, who do you thank at a time like this?

Season 3Edit

Our Father [3.01]Edit

Dentist: So you still have your boat?
Dexter: Oh, you bet. It's the only place I can really let everything go.

Dexter: OK, Astor, you're up. Mickey Mouse, unicorns or starfish?
Astor: Just plain, round pancakes, Dexter.
Rita: She's growing up.
Dexter: It starts with pancakes?

Dexter: [Voiceover:] Most normal people enjoy a sacred pact with society - live a good life and society will take care of you. But if society drops the ball, then someone else has to pick up the slack. That's where I come in.

Dexter: [Voiceover:] Dexter the doughnut guy, part of my routine. But let the record show I'm not the only one with a daily ritual. Angel Batista - bear claw. Vince Masuka - lemon custard.

Freebo: Stupid cunt's gonna redefine "short-term relationship". Catch my drift?
Dexter: Yeah, I catch your drift. [Voiceover:] And I'm entirely confident you've earned the privilege of being repurposed as fish food.

Rita: [To Dexter] Dexter, you've been working such killer hours lately.

Dexter: [Voiceover:] There were so many lessons in the vaunted code of Harry. Twisted commandments handed down from the only God I ever worshipped. One through ten... Don't get caught - that I got covered. But killing someone without knowing if he's guilty... I'd love some help on this one...but my God is dead now.

Dexter: [Voiceover:] Harry finds me sitting in a pool of blood, turns me into his own personal vendetta machine, and when he sees the monster he created in action, he kills himself.

Dexter: [Voiceover:] I have moved on from my father, but I still need his code, now more than ever. But it has to evolve, become my own.

Finding Freebo [3.02]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover:] Harry - the last person I'd turn to for advice on parenthood.

Dexter: [Voiceover:] I promised Rita I'd be back in an hour. So she's nesting while I'm hunting, stalking my prey.]

Dexter: [Voiceover:] If my first stab at Freebo had gone as planned, Oscar Prado might still be alive, Miguel wouldn't know who I was, Teegan would have lived to ho another day, and Deb wouldn't be chasing a Jane Doe. And I wouldn't be watching the clock, counting the minutes till darkness comes, trying to get the jump on my friends in blue.

The Lion Sleeps Tonight [3.03]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover]: The grocery store - the modern-day equivalent of the Serengeti, where the mighty lion goes to hunt. And my weaker brethren reward me with gifts.

Rita: You do your grocery list alphabetically?
Dexter: How else would you do it?

Dexter: Rita's pregnant.
Debra: Say again.
Dexter: Rita's pregnant.
Debra: You're lying!
Dexter: I'm not lying.
Debra: A baby? A motherfucking roly-poly, chubby cheeked shit-machine? Are you kidding me?
Dexter: Well, I've never heard it described in quite those words before, but yeah.

Dexter: What else did the doctor say?
Rita: He asked me about a million questions about my medical history. There's a form for you to fill out too, but I told him you were adopted. I mean... Are there any details that you do know?
Dexter: [Voiceover]: Like "Mom was killed by a chainsaw, my brother was killed by...well, me." That kind of stuff? [to Rita] No, I don't really know anything.

Miguel: At least share a drink with me.
Dexter: Yeah, I'll grab some glasses. [Voiceover]: Showing up late at night like this, is it creepy, or just what friends do?

Dexter: [Voiceover on getting CAT-scanned]: It seems ironic that I, an expert on human dismemberment, have to pay $800 to have myself virtually dissected.

Dexter: [Voiceover]: So there it is. I'm going to be a father, and raise my child. It's what any good man would do. After all...it's a jungle out there.

All in the Family [3.04]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover]: Role playing. It's such an important part of growing up. When we were kids, whatever role Deb assigned me - evil monster, treacherous Nazi, horrible alien - I played them to perfection. The only roles I had trouble with were the good guys - heroes, knights in shining armor. It just never felt right.

Rita: Dexter and I have something we want to talk to you about.
Astor: What?
Dexter: We're having a baby.
Rita: Um... You're gonna have a new little brother or little sister to play with.
Cody: Which one?
Rita: Which one would you like?
Cody: A puppy.
Dexter: You can have a puppy and a baby.

Dexter: [Voiceover]: Masuka - he's chosen the role of court jester. Now we only like him when he's making us laugh. Still, there's something said for being a character actor. The lead players with all those emotions must be exhausting.

Dexter: [Voiceover]: Most actors toil in obscurity, never stepping into the spotlight. But if you hone your craft, work diligently, you might just find yourself cast in the role of a lifetime.

Turning Biminese [3.05]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover:] There are many ways to stop the heart. Electric shock, bad diet... Sever the aorta - my personal favorite.

Rita: That massage was amazing.
Sylvia: We spend enough money to be members here. At least now I have somebody to go to the spa with.
Miguel: All of that stuff, that's not for men, right, Dex?
Dexter: Lying naked on a table, helpless, no thanks.

Sí Se Puede [3.06]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover:] Clemson Galt has been on my top ten list for years, and Miguel could be a big help. But the goal here isn't to satisfy my need, it's to get Miguel to find a new hobby.

Camilla: You know, Dexter, my whole life I've been searching for...
Dexter: The meaning of life?
Camilla: The perfect...Key lime pie. And what do I get when I'm about to croak? Fucking pie-crust, Reddi-wip, and green Jell-O...
Dexter: I'll see what I can do about finding you the perfect Key lime pie.

Easy As Pie [3.07]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover on Ellen Wolf]: Do I see sheets of plastic in your future?

The Damage a Man Can Do [3.08]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover]: It's said that everything is connected to everything. The butterfly effect... You drop a pebble in a pond and the ripples radiate outwards, touching and affecting everything.

Dexter: [Voiceover]: Freebo's dead, and now there's a tree-trimmers' convention in here. It seems random, but it's not. The butterfly effect again. Off course, it's an odd sensation when you happen to be the butterfly.

Rita: I asked him for menu suggestions - do you know what he says?
Sylvia: I don't know.
Rita: Steak. He says steak. Yeah, that's great, Dexter. That's really great. We'll start with a steak appetizer, followed by steak salad, followed, of course, by a steak. And then, of course, it'll all be topped off by a steak fucking cake.

Dexter: You ever drop a quarter of milk? Watch it spread over the whole kitchen floor, the mess it makes?
Miguel: Yeah.
Dexter: There's six quarts of blood in the human body. This isn't gonna be pretty.

Dexter: [Voiceover]: I tell Miguel to be inconspicuous, and what does he do? He shows up looking like the Unabomber.

Dexter: You were wrong. It went well.
Harry: Maybe. Who knows?
Dexter: You can't admit it. He did good.
Harry: That was never the issue, Dex - I was only thinking about you.
Dexter: Of course.
Harry: You've set something in motion here. Everything Miguel does from now on is connected to you. It's a lot of responsibility, teaching him what you just did. A heavy burden... It was too much for me to bear. I hope you're a stronger man.

About Last Night [3.09]Edit

Sylvia: He's having an affair.
Rita: Oh, no. No, no. You don't know that.
Sylvia: When you've been married as long as we have, you know when your husband's lying.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Something to look forward to.]

Debra: Skinner's had him for 24 hours. How long do you think he can hold out?
Dexter: Well, the ME's report on the other victims suggests the skinner starts slow - probably to build fear. Anton's a big guy - a lot of skin. [Pause] That's meant to be comforting.

George: Am I under arrest, sir?
Quinn: No, but we can hold you for questioning.
George: For the day.
Debra: What are you, a lawyer? No, wait, I forgot. You're a fucking tree-trimmer.

Debra: So how do I crack this sick fuck's brain?
Dexter: From what I've read about these sick fucks, they usually have some sort of...code.

Dexter: [Voiceover: Today I keep up the pretence. But soon, maybe tomorrow, Miguel will know exactly how I feel because finally there's an emotion I don't have to fake. Today, I feel something real.]

Go Your Own Way [3.10]Edit

Dexter: [referring to Astor] What'd you use on her, chloroform?
Rita: I hope she was good.
Debra: Aw, she was a champ. She almost made it throught Saw 1 and 2. [Pause] Just kidding.

Rita: I feel like Cinderella. Except for the whole Disney virgin thing...
Sylvia: Oh, don't worry. No one will know Prince Charming knocked you up before the ball.

I Had a Dream [3.11]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Bachelor parties. While I do understand the need for ritual, I've heard these events aren't really for the groom, they're for everyone else.]

Miguel: So as you all know, we're here to, uh, celebrate the impending marriage of our dear friend Dexter. And while my job as best man is to offer a few remarks, you're gonna have to forgive me for keeping them G-rated, because, uh, I'm running for office after all.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Better run fast.]

Rita: Syl told me she kicked out Miguel. How is he?
Dexter: Uh, I think he feels betrayed.
Rita: Why? He's the one who threw his marriage vows out the window. Who does that?
Dexter: A man without a code.

Angel: Please tell me you're not freezing sperm in there.
Masuka: This only gets down to minus 40 degrees centigrade. Freezing sperm requires a vessel to be at least minus 200. What? I'm a donor. It's my way of giving back.
Angel: God help the children.

Angel: So you like her?
Masuka: The problem is she likes me. I mean, there's gotta be something wrong with her, right?

Dexter: [Voiceover: If home is where the heart is, where do you go when you don't have a heart? In Miguel's case, a five-star hotel.]

LaGuerta: You ever get a voice inside nagging at you?
Dexter: I'm aware of the phenomenon.

LaGuerta: Use my authorization code to make it happen. Procedure above board, results - under the table - you good with that?
Dexter: Absolutely. If you need something under the table, I'm your guy. [Pause] That didn't come out right.

Dexter: [To Miguel] You're all just...unchecked versions of myself - what I would have become without my father's code.

Miguel: I accept you, Dexter, like a brother.
Dexter: I killed my brother. [Pause] I killed yours too.

Do You Take Dexter Morgan? [3.12]Edit

Rita: Ramon didn't ask you to leave. He pushed you out the door.
Dexter: Yeah, he was drunk.
Rita: I could smell the fumes. He's just so angry.
Dexter: He's lost two brothers. He doesn't know who to blame.
Rita: Well, certainly not you.

Dexter: [Voiceover on being strapped to a table: Such a familiar situation - such an unfamiliar perspective.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: A wolf would chew off its own paw, its survival instinct is that fierce. So is mine.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: We all have secrets. In that way, I'm just like everyone else.]

Debra: [To Dexter] Ugh. Me in a dress, I feel like a transvestite.

Season 4Edit

Living The Dream [4.01]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Dexter Morgan, good suburban husband, happy father of three...on paper, anyway.]

Lundy: How's my favorite blood spatter analyst?
Dexter: Great. How's my favorite serial killer hunter?

Dexter: [To Harrison] Want to know a secret? Daddy kills people.

Remains To Be Seen [4.02]Edit

Officer: Sir, we found something in your car.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Benny Gomez is in there.]

Rita: Oh, my God. I thought it was a fender bender.
Man: Well, I'm sure there's a bent fender somewhere in this mess.

Blinded By The Light [4.03]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: The backyard barbecue. It's a holdover from the last ice age when food was scarce and men had to work together to take down such a large beast. Those who worked well with others survived, and their genes have been passed through the centuries until they landed here, in this...my community.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: The danger of community is that the people who don't belong are looked upon with suspicion. Those of us who prefer to work by ourselves, the lone wolves, risk being singled out... So I become an expert of blending in, camouflaging myself, becoming one of the guys.]

Debra: How come you never make the coffee, even if you're up first?
Anton: Because I don't want it bad enough to make it.
Debra: I don't even know what to say to that.
Anton: If there was a chocolate cake here I would eat it, but I sure as hell don't want to bake one.

Dexter: [Voiceover: Great - security lights. Just what every serial killer needs.]

Dexter: Quinn, I don't care if you're a dirty cop.
Quinn: If I didn't take that money, it would just sit inside a locker until some fat ass who sits behind a desk grabs it to buy a new carpet for his office which he never leaves. I put my life on the line every day. I give this job everything I've got, and I can't even afford a payment on a condo.
Dexter: I thought you had family money.
Quinn: Had, and this has nothing to do with anything. Just don't fucking call me dirty.
Dexter: [Voiceover: The last thing I need is a cop angry at me.] Look...you're right, I take it all back. I honestly...don't give a shit.

Dexter: [To Andy] You're gonna stop breaking things, stop rolling cars down the street. Stop everything you've been doing. If you so much as touch another window, I will come back here, and I will leave with your head in a bag. I already have the bag.

Dex Takes a Holiday [4.04]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Everyone needs a vacation. In my case, it's time off for bad behavior. But I intend to make the most of this family trip...that they're taking without me.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: Three days. 72 precious hours to recharge my batteries. 'Course Rita doesn't know I'll be recharging with another woman.]

Zoey: You're gonna rape and kill me?
Dexter: What is it with you and rape? No one's raping anyone. Killing on the other hand...

Dirty Harry [4.05]Edit

Dexter: [To Rita] See? I have nothing to hide. [Voiceover: Except for the syringes, scalpels, and bone saw hidden in the drawer underneath.]

Dexter: [Voiceover on going after Trinity: It's almost poetic - one serial killer ending the 30-year reign of another.]

If I Had a Hammer [4.06]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: This is what makes a home - the noise of happy children, the warmth of a full house...the chill of an angry wife.]

Therapist: Who's Lila?
Dexter: My sponsor.
Rita: Homicidal bitch he slept with.

Rita: A bread maker?
Dexter: We're always running out of bread.
Rita: We're always running out of milk. Did you get me a cow too?

Debra: I'm telling you, someone took Lundy's stuff.
Quinn: And I'm telling you, you got to let this go. Look, I'm sure you're tired. Why don't you go home...
Debra: And what? Paint my fucking nails?

Dexter: [Voiceover: We both have skeletons, which means we both get a closet to keep them in. Arthur has a closet. I know almost everything about you, Arthur, except where you hide. Ready or not, here I come.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: Arthur's been using Four Walls builds around the country as a cover to kill. And these are his trophies. Hanging right here on the wall just like his hammer in the garage. His blood slides.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: I was born of primordial ooze. I crawled out of my own mother's blood. I hid amongst the humans, hoping not to be seen. But somewhere along the way, I grew legs, stood upright. I became a husband, a father. I had to evolve. It was the only way to survive.]

Slack Tide [4.07]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: There's a moment sailors call slack tide...when the tide is neither coming in nor out, but perfectly still. It's a moment frozen in time, when all is calm and peaceful. The only downside to it is that it passes so quickly. As much as we might like some things to remain suspended in time, they never do.]

Angel: He shot the animal in the head. He started to gut him and he found the arm.
Dexter: Adult female. No blood flow from the ruptured blood vessels. The bite was postmortem.
Angel: What's that?
Dexter: Lignature marks. Her wrists were tied.
Quinn: I'm guessing the 'gator didn't do that.

Debra: [To Dexter] Take a bullet and suddenly you're everybody's best friend.

Quinn: [To Debra] You put two people in a room together long enough, eventually they're gonna fuck.

Dexter: [Voiceover: I'll need to find the right activity for Astor. What did I like to do when I was 12? OK, then, moving on.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: OK, two serial killers go for a ride... Why do I get the feeling this joke ends with only one of them coming back?]

Dexter: It's gonna die. It's suffering. It needs to be put out of its misery, Arthur. You need to kill it.
Arthur: No, I...I can't.
Harry: He spent his life killing innocent people, but he can't kill Bambi?

Dexter: [Voiceover: A fingernail. Not exactly Cinderella's glass slipper. But it is a fit.]

Debra: Dad was fucking Valerie Hodges.
Dexter: Really?
Debra: But aparently she was just one of many.
Harry: It's every father's nightmare...disappointing his children.
Dexter: That doesn't sound like Harry.
Harry: Thank you, Dex.

Rita: Where are you going?
Dexter: I gotta prep the boat. If we're camping out, we'll need a tent, sleeping bags, food, water. I gotta get two children's life vests. [Voiceover: Abduct Jonathan Farrow, take him back to his studio, kill him, cut him to pieces, dump him in the ocean.] Honestly, Rita, this is gonna take some time.

Dexter: [Voiceover: And suddenly...tonight's the night. Jonathan Farrow, party animal. OK, Jonathan...party like there's no tomorrow.]

Cody: Your turn, Dexter.
Dexter: Actually, I don't know any scary stories.
Man: Come on. Give it a shot.
Boys: Come on.
Dexter: All right. There's a man. You can call him the Man of Three. You can call him Trinity. You can call him anything you want but the fact is he's not a man at all, he's a monster. He was born in a bathtub filled with blood. For countless years he's roamed the countryside killing the innocent, leaving behind bits of his dead sister. Sometimes he'll sneak up on a man and raise his hammer overhead...and then he'll swing it down...
Man: Smash his own thumb and then go crying all the way home, like a little baby.

Dexter: [Voiceover: Man has always been drawn to the sea. But it's an unnatural setting for us, a place of great danger. Tides, currents, waves, wind...each presenting their own hazards, none of which can be ignored. The slightest lapse of judgment can be a mistake you might never recover from. But a good sailor doesn't fight against these elements. A good sailor works with them, using them to his advantage. While others less fortunate might be forever cast adrift, often in several pieces, he always comes home safely.]

Road Kill [4.08]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: So I made a mistake. It could've happened to anyone - well, any murderer - not that murderers typically care whether their victims are innocent are not. But why is it eating at me? Jonathan Farrow - S&M photographer, abuser of women, asshole, but not a killer - not up to Harry's code. Yet I killed him. Now I'm...uncomfortable.]

Angel: Jonathan Farrow...originally a suspect, now possibly a victim.
Dexter: [Voiceover: It was a mistake, for fuck's sake.]

Arthur: You're being purposely vague, Kyle, like one of my tenth-graders trying to explain why he didn't do his homework.
Dexter: [Voiceover: I have a feeling I'm gonna make some tenth-graders very happy.]

Dexter: I killed a man.
Arthur: You killed someone?
Dexter: [Voiceover: You, of all people, act appaled.] By mistake.
Arthur: How? What happened?
Dexter: I thought he was the right... I thought he was an animal.
Arthur: You... You were hunting?
Dexter: Yes, it was a hunting accident. I was so sure. I'm always so careful.

Christine: [To Quinn] Being a journalist these days is a straight ticket to the unemployment line.

Masuka: [To Quinn] Dexter is a pure jungle cat. You should've seen the hot English muffin he was "bow-chicka-wowing" a couple years ago...while he was dating Rita. Lila was insane. Literally.

Arthur: This is where it all started.
Dexter: What started here?
Arthur: I was standing here...watching my sister take a shower.
Dexter: You were watching your sister?
Arthur: I was ten. It was innocent. Vera saw me...in the mirror. I startled her, and she slipped...shattered the shower doors. The glass...sliced her leg. She was dead by the time the ambulance came. So much blood...
Dexter: [Voiceover: Born in blood, both of us.]
Arthur: My parents blamed me. My mother bacame a shell, a ghost. She eventually killed herself.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Jumped to her death.]
Arthur: Left me all alone...with him. He was always a drinker...but without Mother, it became worse. So did the beatings. "Little fucking pervert, fucking cunt, you killed them."
Dexter: What happened to him?
Arthur: He died.
Dexter: [Voiceover: No, you killed your father. I'm betting hammer.]

Debra: Jesus, Masuka, they're just tits.
Masuka: But they're yours - perky, perfect.

Elliot: Oh, so you weren't always a soccer mom?
Rita: Are you kidding? I was a dress-over-the-head party girl.

Dexter: [Voiceover: This is his solution to remorse - suicide. That's why he could unburden himself. He knew this was next. Will it be my only solution someday?]
Arthur: I thought God sent you so that I could save you. But God has another plan.
Dexter: [Voiceover: So did I.]
Arthur: He sent you to save me.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Not exactly.]

Arthur: Little early for a drunk-driving checkpoint.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Looks like one of Debra's DNA sweeps.] Yeah, I heard about this on the radio. The police are looking for some huge serial killer. They have his DNA. They're looking for a match.
Arthur: Sounds scary.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Exactly how much do you want to live, Arthur?]
Arthur: I think this gentleman in the red car has the right idea. This line is endless. What say we take the scenic route?
Dexter: Yeah, sure, Arthur.

Hungry Man [4.09]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: The DNA sweep didn't give them Trinity. But it did bring in a cornucopia of criminals.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: I'll be at Arthur's by one, home by four - a serial killer's Thanksgiving recipe for success.]

Masuka: Chocolate lava cakes, my specialty.
Debra: You have a specialty?
Masuka: A river of chocolate love that melts in your mouth.
Debra: Wow. You can make anything sound perverted.
Masuka: It's a gift.

Dexter: What kind of father keeps a coffin in his garage?
Harry: What kind of father keeps blood slides in his shed?

Astor: [To Masuka] Are you the one my mom told me not to talk to?

Arthur: We... We have a little...family tradition, Kyle, before we start...of saying what we're thankful for. I'll start. I'm thankful for this family. Pass your plates. Sally?
Sally: I'm... I'm thankful for this lovely home...and for my son, who I am so proud of.
Rebecca: Me too.
Arthur: Is that all?
Sally: And for my beautiful teenage daughter...who is growing up...so quickly. I am so blessed.
Rebecca: I'm thankful that Mrs Wilder gave us an extra two days to finish our report on Aeschylus. And I'm also thankful for this nice home.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Is this what it takes to survive with him?]
Jonah: I'm thankful for this house too...and for God.
Arthur: You know what I'm thankful for? My car...
Dexter: I'm thankful for yams.
Arthur: Yams?
Dexter: Comfort food. Thank you all for the comfort of your home.
Arthur: Where no one said they were thankful for me. Did you, Jonah? Did you say you were thankful for me, Jonah? What's that?
Jonah: I did not say that I was thankful for you...because I'm not.
Sally: I am so thankful for you, Arthur.
Arthur: Shut up, cunt.
Dexter: Whoa, Arthur...
Arthur: Kyle, perhaps it's time for you to go.
Dexter: I think I should stay.
Jonah: Yeah, sure - stay. Watch the show.
Rebecca: I'm thankful for you, Daddy...
Arthur: Go to your room, Vera.
Jonah: No! She's not Vera! And she's not your goddamn prisoner and she's not eight any more! This whole life... Your life is a lie! These are lies! Fucking community hero?
Dexter: Jonah, this isn't the way.
Jonah: I know what you really are!
Arthur: Who am I?
Jonah: You're a killer! Sucking the fucking life out of all of us! Mom, Becca, me!

Dexter: [To Arthur] I should have fucking killed you when I had the chance.

Dexter: I'm thankful to be out of that fucking house!
Harry: You showed Trinity the monster in you. He'll see you coming now.
Dexter: I don't know. Seeing them like that... He's destroyed everyone in that family.
Harry: That's what happens to people who live with a monster.
Dexter: I am nothing like him! My family is nothing like that.

Cody: Spoons go inside or outside the knives?
Debra: Surprise us.

Rita: Why don't we go around the table and everybody say what they're thankful for?
Dexter: No! I don't want this yummy food to get cold.
Cody: I'm thankful for Dexter.

Lost Boys [4.10]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Keeping my tools in a shipping container makes more sense than a backyard shed. After all, it's where my dark passenger was born.]

Jonah: Who doesn't have email, Kyle?
Dexter: [Voiceover: Off the top of my head, people who don't exist.]

Dexter: Who's that?
Debra: One of Dad's old fuck buddies. Emphasis on old.

Christine: I saw you that night. Back when I was five. You told me to stay in the car, but I didn't. So I got out and went into that woman's house. And I saw you in the bathtub with her. The water was so red.
Arthur: It was a dream. You were right the first time.
Christine: It wasn't. I knew it wasn't when it happened again in that same house 30 years later.

Hello, Dexter Morgan [4.11]Edit

Harry: Blood tech, husband, father, serial killer, and now Kyle Butler, extortionist. Which one are you?
Dexter: All of them.

Debra: [To Angel] You still playing "Who's your daddy?" with Christine?

Dexter: [Voiceover: I need to be a good brother now so that I can be a good serial killer later.]

Arthur: [To Dexter] Hello, Dexter Morgan.

The Getaway [4.12]Edit

Debra: I have something to tell you. And maybe I shouldn't. I don't know.
Dexter: OK.
Debra: I found another CI Dad was sleeping with. A woman named named Laura Moser.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Harry was right. This is it.]
Debra: Does that name mean anything to you?
Dexter: Should it?
Debra: It doesn't? Look, she died, but she left behind two little boys. And one of those little boys was you. Laura Moser is your biological mother.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Don't say the rest. Don't know it.]
Debra: The other little boy, your brother, was named Brian. Brian Moser - the Ice Truck Killer.

Arthur: [To Dexter] It's already over.

Dexter: [Voiceover: I wonder if Rita's looking at the same moon at this same moment. I like that - connected by light. The dark passenger's been fighting against it, trying to keep me all to himself. But it's my turn now...to get what I want - to embrace my family. And maybe one day not so long from now...I'll be rid of the dark passenger. It all begins with a getaway. Time away from the old me. It's OK Life doesn't have to be perfect, It just has to be.. Lived! ]

Dexter: [Voiceover: Born in blood...both of us. Harry was right. I thought I could change what I am, keep my family safe. But it doesn't matter what I do, what I choose. I'm what's wrong. This is fate.]

Season 5Edit

My Bad [5.01]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: I've watched 67 people die, and at the moment of truth, I looked into their eyes and they knew and I knew they got what they deserved. But what if that's not what happens? If you don't get what you deserve? If what you deserve is a white picket fence and your kids all around and a husband who loves you? What if the least you deserve is a real human being and what you get instead is me?]

Masuka: [On Rita's body] I imagined her naked plenty of times, but never like this.

Debra: FBI? Fucking Bunch of Idiots...

Quinn: "Midway up her right thigh"? "Dissecting her femoral artery"?
Angel: Habit of precision.
Quinn: His wife just died. He's submitting a lab report. Seriously, the next door neighbor, the guy with the, you know, forehead? He was more torn up about Rita than Dexter was.
Angel: So?
Quinn: So it's weird, that's all.
LaGuerta: What are we working on here?
Masuka: Not Rita.
Angel: It's Dexter's 911 call.
LaGuerta: Did you hear me or not? I said the case is with the FBI now.

Masuka: You were right about one thing - that neighbor Elliot being all torn up about Rita. I'm thinking now there's some things that I shouldn't have told Dexter.
Quinn: What? What shouldn't you have told him?
Masuka: About a significant exchange of saliva I witnessed at Thanksgiving - as in a kiss.
Quinn: Rita and Elliot?
Masuka: Dude was totally in love with her.
Quinn: And Dexter knew?
Masuka: Yeah. If I'd known she was gonna... I should have kept my big mouth shut.

Dexter: I need to tell you something.
Moira: Dexter? Is everything okay?
Astor: What's going on? You're freaking me out.
Dexter: Something happened to your mom.
Cody: Something bad?
Dexter: Yeah. Something bad...
Astor: Is she OK?
Dexter: A man came into our house, and your mother came home and he killed her.
Cody: What? She got killed? Somebody killed her?
Astor: No, she's fine.
Moira: Dexter. What...
Astor: You're kidding, right?
Moira: I don't understand. You said spend the day at Disney World.
Dexter: I'm sorry for your loss.

Quinn: [To LaGuerta] Look, if this were anyone but Dexter, we'd at least be thinking like detectives. Which means what? What do you always say? When the wife is dead, 90% of the time the husband did it.

Dexter: Dexter Morgan.
Debra: [Please leave a message at the tone.] Guess who I just met. The fucking cat lady from downstairs - she was feeding ice cream to your son. So, I don't know where the fuck you are or why you think that you can fucking run away from the FBI, but you better get back here...

Dexter: She had a big heart. Big enough for the both of us - had to be. I wasn't even human...when we first met. I never expected that to change. She reached out and found something I didn't even know was there. She never hurt anybody. She was innocent. And she died a brutal death and...and I can't...fix it. But I know I have to try...here in Miami with the people who knew her and who...who cared about her. And who loved her. [Voiceover: Like I did.]

Hello, Bandit [5.02]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: It's said there are seven stages of grief. I suppose killing someone with my bare hands in a men's room was my way of working through the anger stage. Whatever the other six stages are... I don't have time for them.]

Boyd: This don't look right.
Dexter: What do you mean?
Boyd: Well, usually when you find a dead animal in the road; it means he was hit by a car. But there's no tire marks or blood on the asphalt. This raccoon was killed someplace else and dropped here.
Dexter: [Voiceover: He's CSI-ing me.]

Angel: Let me ask you a question, hypothetical. Say a newly married person...accidentally discovers that his or her new spouse has a savings account with a lot of money. Is that something that one should expect to share?
Quinn: Fuck, no. That's your money. You tell the lieutenant to keep her fuckin' hands off it.

Masuka: She was still alive when they cut her head off. Excision of eyes and tongue was done postmortem.
Debra: That's considerate of them.

Debra: They're looking for someone named Kyle Butler who's a friend of Arthur Mitchell's. They think if they can find him, then he can lead them to Mitchell.
Quinn: But they can't find him?
Debra: Well, not yet. They're having sketches done. They're trying to get a positive ID.
Quinn: Kyle Butler. Why does that name sound so familiar?
Debra: Well, that's the weird thing. We worked that case, remember? A dead Kyle Butler...
Quinn: Right, he got his head smashed in. Went unsolved...any connection?
Debra: I don't know. I'm sure the FBI will find a way to fuck it up.

Debra: How's it going?
Masuka: I hate this shit. This is Dexter's job. Blood - it's gross.

Angel: How's it going in there?
Debra: Masuka said he really likes working with the blood. He hopes he can get more assignments like this.
Angel: I'll keep that in mind. Let me ask you a question. If you were married, and you found out that the person you were married to had a secret bank account with a lot of money, do you think that peson should share it?
Debra: Jesus, Angel. Just because you married her doesn't mean you own her. It's her money. End of story.

Astor: You ruined everything. We'd gotten used to it. It wasn't that bad!
Dexter: Used to what?
Astor: To the way things were! Before you! Without a dad! And then you come along and become a part of the family, and we thought that everything was gonna be good forever. You made us think that! And it's not true. Things got worse.

Practically Perfect [5.03]Edit

Debra: I'm just trying to get the truth. However long that takes is up to you.
Girl: I'm telling you the truth. I'm not lying.
Debra: First you said you didn't do drugs, and then you said you did.
Girl: I said I might have tried some at a Tri Delt party once.
Debra: You might have? What the fuck does that even mean? You did or you didn't. You can't kind of do blow.
Girl: But that was six years ago in college.
Debra: And I'm supposed to believe you're not on anything now?
Girl: I'm totally clean.
Debra: Then why are you so nervous?
Girl: Because I wasn't expecting on getting these kind of questions. I mean, you sound like a cop.
Debra: I am a cop. I work for Miami Metro Homicide.
Girl: Look, I don't know what's going on here. I came for a nanny job. I'm not like, planning to kill the president.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Harrison needs a nanny and Deb insisted on running point. The way it's going, only Mary Poppins would make the cut.]

Dexter: You didn't answer your cell.
Sonia: Well, I had my hands full. Oh, I left a note on the fridge. Oh, I didn't mean to worry you.
Dexter: No, it's fine. I'm just... I'm not used to checking the fridge for notes. [Voiceover: Just messages from other serial killers.]

Debra: When you lose someone close, routine can be a ladder that can help you climb back into some kind of normalcy.
Dexter: Where'd you hear that?
Debra: I am capable of independent thought. Oprah.

Masuka: [To Quinn] Looks like...the same treatment as our other...head case. Eyes and tongue have been excised. Damn, don't people just shoot each other any more?

Boyd: Let me the fuck out of here.
Dexter: I bet you've heard that before, "let me out of here", from all the women you've killed. I wish you could see the room I set up for you. But you fucked everything up, Boyd. All those pictures I took of the woman you killed - it's a shame you'll never get to see them. I'll just have to paint a word-picture for you instead. They were young, just starting their lives... Now they're floating in formaldehyde and stuffed into barrels strewn around a swamp.
Boyd: Who the hell are you?
Dexter: Just a fellow traveler, who also likes to pick up dead animals.
Boyd: I did them a favor. They were all suffering and I put them out of their misery.
Dexter: Yeah, you'll be doing one more favor tonight.
Boyd: What are you talking about?
Dexter: I've recently suffered a loss. My wife...was murdered by someone like you. Someone like me... It turned my life upside down.
Boyd: Why is that my problem?
Dexter: Because you're the start of my healing process.
Boyd: I knew you were fucked up the minute I laid eyes on you.
Dexter: I was fucked up long before that.

Beauty and the Beast [5.04]Edit

Harry: I'm not liking the trend here. You rip a man apart in a public bathroom...
Dexter: No one saw.
Harry: You nearly botch Boyd's kill.
Dexter: He's dead, isn't he?
Harry: Yeah. And now you've got her. What's the first rule of the code?
Dexter: Never kill an innocent.
Harry: Don't get caught. So what's your plan here? Nurse her back to health so she can go to the police? She gives the cops enough to track you down...then everything falls apart. Harrison grows up visiting you on death row.

Dexter: I think my wife; his mom...might have left her luggage here, Lumen Pierce.
Motel woman: Let's have a look-see. Can you spell that, please?
Dexter: Yeah, it's P-I-E-R-C-E.
Motel woman: The other name - the weird one. No offence.

Dexter: [To Harrison] Ten months old and you've had your first cigarette. Sorry about that.

LaGuerta: I tell you to leave Trinity's family alone, and instead, you go behind my back. And based on what? This? A cut-and-paste sketch you think resembles Dexter Morgan?
Quinn: The kid recognized him.
LaGuerta: He identified Dexter as Kyle Butler?
Quinn: He didn't get a chance, but I could tell.
LaGuerta: Oh, you could tell. And did Jonah convey this ID to the FBI?
Quinn: No.
LaGuerta: Right. Because it's bullshit! You have your suspicions, you come to me.
Quinn: I tried.
LaGuerta: And when I say, no, Quinn, it's over! You're on unpaid suspension until further notice.
Quinn: Suspension?
LaGuerta: Just tell everyone you're taking a few vaction days.
Quinn: You kidding?
LaGuerta: Am I fucking kidding? You're lucky I don't terminate your ass. And you know the one reason I don't? Because there'd be a mandatory hearing, and this whole embarrasment would become a matter of public record. No one needs to hear your stupid theories. It would tear this department apart. Understood?.
Quinn: Sure.
LaGuerta: He just lost his wife, for Christ's sake!

Lumen: Is that true...what you said about your wife?
Dexter: Yes.
Lumen: How did it happen?
Dexter: Knife...painful and cruel.
Lumen: I'm sorry that I cut you. I thought you were a monster, like Boyd. I thought you were going to kill me...or worse. I was locked up. I don't know where, or for how long. All I know is that it was horrible. And I thought...it would never stop.
Dexter: But it has stopped. He's dead. It's over. You can go home.
Lumen: I don't think so.
Dexter: You can. I read your letter. I know you have a family who loves you. You should go home to them.
Lumen: It's not that simple.
Dexter: It is. It really is.
Lumen: Boyd wasn't the only one who did this to me. There were others. It's not over.

First Blood [5.05]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Not even a year old, you're already destroying evidence - and having to flee the scene of the crime.]

Lumen: [To Dexter] If you really want to help me get past this, help me find those guys and kill them. I saw you kill Boyd. You knew what you were doing.

Lumen: Minneapolis.
Dexter: Yeah, I used some miles.
Lumen: You really want to get rid of me, don't you?
Dexter: I want you to get on with your life. Lumen... [Voiceover: She took the ticket. Maybe this is one problem I can check off the list. And maybe it'll snow this week.]

Masuka: Tramp stamp. I think I'm in love.
Debra: She's into needles. Why don't you show her your dick?

Dexter: [Voiceover: Poor Julia Tuttle - the mother of Miami. They named this bridge after her in her honor. Now it's crawling with pedophiles and sex offenders. So much for honor.]

Dexter: Are you and Quinn...?
Debra: We're fuck buddies. That's it.
Dexter: You need Quinn for that?
Debra: I know it's insane. I know it's...wrong for a fuck-ton of reas... Will you please stop looking at me like that?
Dexter: It's your life, Deb. Just don't bring him around when Harrison's here.
Debra: What's that supposed to mean?
Dexter: Well, he's at an impressionable age. We don't know what might rub off on him.

Motel woman: She's not there. You just missed her.
Dexter: Did my wife say where she was going?
Motel woman: You two still not seeing eye to eye?
Dexter: Look, I really need to find her. It's important.
Motel woman: She was asking about Tuttle Bridge... I told her that is the last place she wants to be.

Quinn: I may have a job for you.
Stan Liddy: Really? And what would that be?
Quinn: Looking into someone.
Stan Liddy: Who?
Quinn: Guy I work with. Interested?
Stan Liddy: I don't know if I should be, considering who's sitting in front of me, making the offer.
Quinn: What are you talking about? Have I ever fucked you over?
Stan Liddy: No, but LaGuerta just taught me there's always a first time. Look, Quinn, you fuck with the bull, you get the horn. You understand?
Quinn: Yeah. Do you?
Stan Liddy: You got a name?
Quinn: Dexter Morgan.

Everything is Illumenated [5.06]Edit

Debra: Any idea where you want to live? I'm sorry. That was a stupid question. You should take the apartment.
Dexter: No. No, that's yours.
Debra: No, I insist. It's really always been yours.

Sonia: Can you say, "Bye-bye, Daddy"?
Harrison: Die-die.
Sonia: Did you hear that?
Dexter: He said, "die-die."
Sonia: Don't be silly. He said, "bye-bye" - Harrison's first word.

Lumen: The night I was taken, I had gone to a bar. I thought they spotted me there, so I went back to that same bar night after night, hoping that one of them would walk through the door. I wore a disguise.
Dexter: Disguise?
Lumen: A wig, so they wouldn't recognize me.
Dexter: I know what a disguise is for. So, you went to the bar, you waited for one of them to show up. Where? What bar?
Lumen: Hurricane 26.
Dexter: Hurricane 26 is all the way over on Ocean Avenue. How'd you get all the way out here?
Lumen: That's what I've been trying to tell you.
Dexter: So, go on.
Lumen: Tonight one of them showed up. He didn't know it was me, so I...I flirted with him. I asked him if he wanted to go someplace else. We got in the car, I pulled out my gun, and I forced him to drive. This place seemed deserted, so we stopped, and I marched him inside.
Dexter: And you shot him.
Lumen: No. I asked him for the names of the other men. He called me a cunt. Then I shot him.

Dexter: [Voiceover: I can't get revenge for Rita's death, but I can help Lumen avenge what was done to her.]

Circle Us [5.07]Edit

Lumen: Besides the ones we've already...taken care of...there was Watch Guy.
Dexter: "Watch Guy"?
Lumen: I would be tied to a chair...blindfolded. Sometimes I didn't even know he was there, until I'd hear this watch by my ear. And then he'd lean in and whisper... "Tick, tick, tick - that's the sound of your life running out."

Dexter: Nice watch.
Jordan: My dad gave it to me when I was a teenager. It's water-resistant to 100 meters. I have no idea why I would ever need that, but it sure looks nice.
Dexter: [Voiceover: If that's the watch that Lumen heard, I'll make sure it accompanies you to the bottom of the Atlantic.]

Dexter: [Shows Lumen a picture of Cole Harmon] Do you know this man?
Lumen: Oh, my God. That's him. That's the guy who folded his jacket. How did you find him?
Dexter: He found us. His name is Cole Harmon. He's Jordan Chase's head of security. [Shows Lumen a picture of Jordan Chase and Masuka] What about him?
Lumen: No... I mean, that guy's clearly a freak, but I don't know him.
Dexter: No, not the bald guy. The guy beside him. Jordan Chase.

Take It [5.08]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Jordan promises change, but he also accept credit cards.]

Dexter: [To Cole] I'm gonna take this gag out of your mouth, but if you make one sound I don't like, I'm gonna cut your eyes out. Blink, so I know you understand.

Dexter: Is everything OK?
Jordan: It's nothing important - just a little security glitch.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Like your chief of security's head is in my luggage?]

Teenage Wasteland [5.09]Edit

Dexter: I didn't notice you last time - you new here?
Receptionist: Just started three days ago.
Dexter: I don't remember so much security either.
Receptionist: Mr Chase says he's beefing things up.
Dexter: [Voiceover: That's no surprise. Lumen and I have been knocking off his friends one by one.]

Astor: Harrison. He doesn't even recognize me.
Dexter: Well...you didn't look like a raccoon the last time he saw you.

Lumen: Share something with her... What you did when you were her age.
Dexter: I killed the neighbor's dog.
Lumen: Well, don't tell her that.

Debra: You gonna introduce us?
Astor: That's the one I was telling you about - his new girlfriend.
Dexter: She's my tenant. Lumen, this is my sister Debra. Deb, Lumen.
Debra: I didn't know he had a tenant.
Lumen: Didn't know he had a sister. I'm gonna...go check on the girls.
Debra: Seriously? That's your tenant?
Dexter: Yes.
Debra: Where's all her stuff?
Dexter: She hasn't really moved in yet.
Debra: But you know her well enough to trust her with your son.
Dexter: It was an emergency. I thought the girls had been taken.
Debra: Why are you keeping her a secret?
Dexter: I'm not.
Debra: Really? Cos at the station we asked you who you were spending all your time with. You didn't mention the hot blonde that's living in your house?
Dexter: Didn't seem...like it mattered. Obviously she didn't take the girls.
Debra: That's not the point. I'm not judging you. Believe me - I understand rebound as much as anybody. But don't you think it's a little soon?
Dexter: I'm not on any rebound.
Debra: Come on. She's your tenant - really?
Dexter: There's nothing going on.
Debra: Fine. I give up.

Stan Liddy: I brought you a present. Don't you want to see what it is? Your boy Dexter Morgan and his lady friend on his boat at 3am in the morning, and they are not fucking.
Quinn: What's in the bags?
Stan Liddy: Something heavy. I'm thinking narcotics, maybe a body.

Barry: It's tough looking after somebody else's kids. Sometimes you just gotta show them who's boss.
Dexter: Is that what you do with Olivia, show her who's boss?
Barry: What's that supposed to mean?
Dexter: I know about Olivia's bruises, how they're strategically placed so they won't show.
Barry: I don't know what you're talking about.
Dexter: No? Let me show you?

Astor: I want you to know something. If Lumen's your girlfriend, I want you to tell me.
Dexter: OK. But she's not.
Astor: She's not your tenant, though.
Dexter: She's a friend...who's been through some really...really bad stuff. I'm helping her deal with it.

In the Beginning [5.10]Edit

Dexter: The men who hurt you, they made DVDs of everything they did.
Lumen: 13. Is that me? Did everyone watch it?
Dexter: No. I managed to get it out of evidence in time.
Lumen: Did you... Did you watch it?
Dexter: Only enough to make sure I had the right one. Are you sure you want to keep it?
Lumen: Number 13. That's what I was to them.

Debra: Watching these DVDs, watching it actually happen, is worse than any fucking crime scene. What these women went through, I don't know, maybe it's a fucking blessing that they're dead. No one could go through something like this and have a life again.
Dexter: People may be stronger than you think.
Debra: Believe me, on this one, you're wrong. There's no coming back from something like this.
Dexter: Where's 13?
Debra: Disc 13, it was damaged. I was actually grateful I didn't have to watch another one of these.
Dexter: Have you been here all night?
Debra: Yeah. And I think it was worth it cos I think I'm starting to figure it out. I went through Cole Harmon's contacts. And do you remember that weird plastic-wrap murder a few weeks back - those two guys at the warehouse?
Dexter: Yeah, one of them was a dentist.
Debra: A kids' dentist. Dan Mendell. Well, it turns out he and Cole are buddies. They fucking poke each other on Facebook. And you see that ring on the DVD? It matches photos taken at the warehouse crime scene. So, I think he's one of these guys. So, Dan the dentist is dead. He was shot to death. Looks like somebody attacked Cole Harmon in his house. And Boyd Fowler's disappeared. This is a group of guys that like to get together and they like to do this for fun. So, what else do they have in common? They're all missing. But they're not on the run, I can tell you that. Not one of them bought a plane ticket, or emptied their bank account or used a fucking credit card. Someone is taking these guys out.
Dexter: Who?
Debra: Well, at first I thought they were turning on each other. Then I thought, "That doesn't make sense. Why would they do that after all this time?" So, I started asking myself, "Who would want to take these guys out?" And you know the first person that came to mind? Me.
Dexter: You?
Debra: Someone who knows what these cocksuckers have been up to and wants to give them what they deserve.
Dexter: So, what are you saying? There's a vigilante out there?
Debra: Yeah, I think that's what I'm saying. Yes.

Dexter: You know, I'm glad you didn't touch any of them.
Jordan: Really? Why is that?
Dexter: Because this DNA test will clear you and leave you all to me. And to her - your time is up.

Alex: It was Jordan. It's all Jordan. He has this way.
Dexter: Of getting inside your head, getting you in touch with your primal nature?
Alex: He made me do things I never would have done.
Lumen: No, you made me do things I never would have done. Ever. Ever!

Alex: I'm a banker. I can get money, lots of it. We can work this out. So, tell me, what's this gonna cost? Just give me a number.
Lumen: 13.

Hop a Freighter [5.11]Edit

Debra: There are 13 DVDs and only 12 victims. So I'm thinking that one of the barrel girls escaped and now she's after the men that abducted her. And she is hunting them and she is killing them.
LaGuerta: How is that even possible? The barrel girls are all slight of build. Alex Tilden was what, 175 pounds?
Masuka: Minimum.
Debra: Maybe she had help.
LaGuerta: Like who?
Debra: I don't know. A man - someone she trusts. Someone who cares about her - a father, brother, husband, boyfriend.
LaGuerta: So now it's vigilantes in love.
Masuka: Yeah, like Romeo and Juliet - except they didn't kill anyone. No, more like Bonnie and...Clyde.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Great. They ended up dead in a bullet-riddled car.]

The Big One [5.12]Edit

Jordan: Look at you. You're transformed too. You're beautiful. And you know what? If you hadn't met me, you would never have known you had it in you.
Lumen: I wouldn't have had it in me...
Jordan: Well, now you do!
Lumen: Shut up!
Jordan: It's truly amazing. You should thank me.

Dexter: [To Lumen] Don't be sorry your darkness is gone. I'll carry it for you. Always. I'll keep it with mine.

Astor: Where is she? Your tenant...who was staying at the house.
Dexter: She left.
Astor: I'm sorry. Did you do it? What you wanted to do? You said she needed your help. Did you help her?
Dexter: Yeah. I think I did.
Astor: And did it work? Did it make you feel better? About what happened to Mom?
Dexter: [Voiceover: You can't do one thing to make up for another. That's what Jordan Chase says. But he's wrong, because we do that all the time. This is the way the world works. We try to make things right. Even me.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: Lumen said I gave her her life back, a reversal of my usual role. Well, the fact is, she gave me mine back too. And I'm left not with what she took from me but with what she brought. Eyes that saw me, finally, for who I really am. And the certainty that nothing, nothing is set in stone. Not even my darkness. While she was here, she made me think, for the briefest moment, that I might even have a chance to be human. But wishes, of course, are for children.]

Season 6Edit

Those Kinds of Things [6.01]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: There are times in our lives when everything seems to go wrong - when, despite our best efforts, and for no apparent rhyme or reason, tragedy strikes. And there are times when everything goes just perfectly. That's how the last year has been for me.]

Debra: What you said in there, do you really believe that? You really believe in nothing?
Dexter: Yeah, I suppose I believe in a certain set of principles.
Debra: What kind of principles?
Dexter: A set of rules on how to conduct myself in the world, so that I don't get into trouble.
Debra: I'm not the most religious person in the world, I mean - Mom practically had to drag me to church, but seriously?
Dexter: What?
Debra: A set of rules to follow so you don't get into trouble? Sounds like something I might teach a puppy.
Dexter: Is that so bad?
Debra: Just sounds kind of cold and empty.
Dexter: Does it?
Debra: Yeah. I don't know - you can believe whatever you wanna believe. Or not believe whatever you wanna believe. But it's not just about you any more. You're a father. What about Harrison? You have to think about what you want him to believe in.
Dexter: Right.

Dexter: [Voiceover: High school, a small world unto itself, combining all the elements of a federal work camp with those of a third-world poultry farm. It's a miracle I graduated without killing anyone.]

Angel: Did you take Harrison for his preschool interview?
Dexter: Yeah, I did.
Angel: Good, cos Auri really liked it there.
Dexter: She didn't find it scary? The statues, and the... You know.
Angel: The crucifix. That's a very powerful image of the sacrifice that was made for us. All kids have to learn those kind of things.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Those kinds of things.] Sorry, but why? I only ask, because I wasn't brought up with much church experience.
Angel: No, that's OK. These are good questions. It's the catechism.
Dexter: And they need to learn that, because...
Angel: God has put a desire for himself in every person.
Dexter: Look, I know this is a little basic, but how do we even know there is a God? You know, just so I can explain it to Harrison.
Angel: Oh, well... Well, there is a God, because in... In every one of us there is a moral sense of goodness.
Dexter: [Voiceover: OK.]
Angel: But honestly, when you really get down to it, it's all about faith. It's something you feel, not something you can explain. This is very hard to put into words.
Dexter: [Voiceover: Because it makes no sense.] Thanks, Angel, you've really made it all much more clear.
Angel: Sure - always happy to help.

Angel: That was nice of Dexter to let you out early tonight.
Jamie: Yeah, he's such a good boss. He works around my schedule, whatever I need.
Angel: He's a good guy. With all he went through last year, you know, losing his wife... I'm glad he's got you helping him out.
Jamie: Yeah, so sad.
Angel: Well, I think he's putting it all behind him at least.
Jamie: Well, I don't know. Some nights...
Angel: What?
Jamie: It just seems like some nights, the pain, the loneliness, whatever it is he's feeling, gets to be too much and he's just gotta disappear for a while, go out on his boat. I think he's trying to keep it away from Harrison.
Angel: Yeah. He really loves his son. Poor guy needs a hobby or something.

Angel: You're kind of almost naked on top there.
Jamie: You sound just like pop.
Angel: Por favor, don't say that.
Jamie: It's true. He used to follow me when I walked to school to make sure I didn't talk to any boys.
Angel: I just don't want people thinking that you're my girlfriend.
Jamie: Why would they think that?
Angel: Because you just took off your top. You're all sexualized.
Jamie: Oh, my God! You're serious! I know we didn't grow up together, but I'm your sister, Angel.
Angel: I know, I know. [To waitress: She's not my girlfriend.]
Jamie: What?
Angel: I just told her that you're not my girlfriend. She probably thinks you're a prostitute.

Trisha: If it wasn't for you, I'd have never made it through high school. You saved my life.
Dexter: I saved your...how?
Trisha: We had so many classes together, and I'd always sit right behind you. Every test we took, I'd copy all your answers. It's how I got through.

Dexter: Yeah? Why? Why'd you have to?
Joe: Because we were having problems, and the marriage was over, and...
Dexter: And so you killed her?
Joe: Do you know how expensive a divorce is?
Dexter: Really? That's your answer? What would Jesus have done? Seriously now - how do you reconcile your belief in a higher power, in a god, with what you have done?
Joe: What difference does it make?
Dexter: I'm just curious.
Joe: So what, I'm supposed to defend my beliefs to you?
Dexter: If you don't mind.
Joe: Look, I mean, everyone makes mistakes. And they do things that they shouldn't do. And they're only human. But God, see - God forgives us.
Dexter: Really, it's as simple as that? You kill someone and God forgives you for it?
Joe: Yes.
Dexter: So I could kill you know - and God would forgive me?
Joe: Well, no.
Dexter: You just said he would.
Joe: You have to truly repent.
Dexter: Do you truly repent for killing Janet?
Joe: Yes, definitely.
Dexter: Liar.

Debra: What is going on with you? You're acting so weird lately.
Quinn: I'm not acting weird, I...
Debra: You're about to drink the candle.

Dexter: [Voiceover: Life is good. I'm not at all unhappy. I'm quite content to go about my life believing in nothing, with no fear that there might be something more out there. But I also have a son, and I have to think about what he wants and what's best for him, because who knows? Maybe he'll grow up to be someone who wants to think about those kinds of things.]

Once Upon A Time... [6.02]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Rituals are important. Not only for a serial killer, but also for a two-year-old, if you want him to go to bed on time.]

Harrison: Monster storry, Daddy.
Dexter: Again? [Voiceover: OK, I may have told him this one before.] Once upon a time there was a little chino, scaring everyone in the hood. Nobody new what to do... But Daddy did. He would slay that icky monster, hiding what was left of him in a special place that no one would ever find.
Harrison: Daddy's box.
Dexter: You know about Daddy's box?

Debra: Quinn just fucking proposed to me over fucking pancakes. What the fuck is wrong with him?
Dexter: He's Quinn?
Debra: I never wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Dexter: So I take it this means it's a "no"?

Quinn: Dexter, you got a minute?
Dexter: Yeah, I need to get to my lab.
Quinn: Has Deb mentioned anything to you, you know, about us?
Dexter: She may have said you proposed.
Quinn: And?
Dexter: The pancakes weren't bad.

Dexter: Brother Sam?
Masuka: One big, bad, ex-con turned minister...runs an auto shop using former inmates. And, as you can see, some of our brothers in blue think it's a sham.
Dexter: [Voiceover: They may be right. That can't be a man of the cloth. That's a killer.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: The good thing about the mind of a two-year-old, it's easily distracted. He won't remember Daddy's box if he has one of his own.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: Wolves come in many forms. Some have big eyes, the better to see you with. Others huff and puff...while others hide in plain sight... I should know, because like it or not, I'm one, too. That's never going to change. And neither is the fact my little lamb is becoming a little boy. Walking, talking, listening... As much as I want Harrison to stay this way forever, from now on, the wolves in his life have to be the stuff of fairy tales. I can no longer allow him to see the real me. Only the version that's make-believe - it's the only way this story gets to have a happy ending.]

Smokey and the Bandit [6.03]Edit

Harry: [To Dexter] I remember when I found that under your bed. I would have rather it had been a stack of Playboys. Most kids in eighth grade were obsessed over their favorite baseball players. You tracked serial killers.

Dexter: [Voiceover: They say old age is like a second childhood. There are primary colors, tricycles and ball-chasing. I barely made it through my first childhood. I guess no one makes it through the second.]

Dexter: Sounds like you're trying to get me to go to church.
Brother Sam: So what? What? You afraid you gonna catch something?

Dexter: [To himself] He's the Tooth Fairy. The man who terrorized the Pacific for 20 years. All he has left is a box of tooth.

Walter: Here's my prescription. Just pick it up for me, will you?
Dexter: Sure.
Walter: Hey, hey, hey! And a six-pack beer from the liquor store and the latest Teen Ass, Nipple Parade and Spanked.
Dexter: Teen Ass, Nipple Parade and Spanked. [Voiceover: Can this really be the man who inspired me to keep a scrapbook?]

Walter: I took teeth. You take blood. You're the same kind of sick fuck, aren't you?
Dexter: At least I'm never gonna end up like you.
Walter: Yeah? When you can't do this any more, what do you have then?
Dexter: More.
Walter: You're kidding yourself, asshole. All I ever cared about was killing, and I can't even do that right any more. That's what you've got to look forward to. This is your future, and it includes adult fucking diapers!
Dexter: You are not my future. I will not spend my final days getting drunk and staring at a box of trophies.
Walter: Keep telling yourself that. Make sure they know who I am. I wish I could see the look on my son's face when he finds out. He won't be able to ignore that!
Dexter: I'd never want my son to find out who I was.
Walter: You said you didn't have a kid.
Dexter: I also said my name was Dan.

A Horse of a Different Color [6.04]Edit

Brother Sam: It's about, surrender to something greater than yourself.
Dexter: I don't get it.
Brother Sam: Man, just look around. You think you can make the sun come up in the morning? You think you can make the tide come in?
Dexter: No, but that's the Earth rotating on its axis, the pull of the moon.
Brother Sam: So you do believe in something greater than yourself.

Debra: Goddamn pantyhose. Has anyone ever died of crotch asphyxiation?
Dexter: You have now crossed the line into inappropriate brother-sister exchanges.

Doctor: Kid's a champ - made it through with flying colors.
Dexter: Thank God. I mean, thank you. Thank you so much, Doctor.

Brother Sam: I'm glad little man is all right.
Dexter: Yeah - me too.
Brother Sam: I know. Thank God.
Dexter: That's just an expression.
Brother Sam: I know - just another marvel of modern science.
Dexter: Yeah, you put your faith in God, I put my faith in science.
Brother Sam: It's cool. We don't have to believe in the same thing, but you got to keep an open mind. You may say I can't prove that God exists, but you can't prove he doesn't.

The Angel of Death [6.05]Edit

Dexter: I'm gonna put him to bed. I'll just be a few minutes.
Brother Sam: All right. Good night, little man.
Dexter: Make yourself at home.
Brother Sam: Thank you.
Dexter: [Voiceover: And now, I guess, Sam and I are gonna hang.]

Jamie: He came in here to give you a good night kiss, not look at pictures of dead bodies.
Debra: Yeah, well, maybe if you gave me a little warning.
Jamie: Isn't there anywhere else you can do this, Deb?
Debra: Right now? No. Nowhere.
Jamie: Really? The lieutenant doesn't get an office?
Debra: I don't like my office. I like to work here. Harrison's got an entire goddamn apartment over there. I've got jack shit.

Gellar: [To Travis] You remember the story about Jonah and the great fish? Jonah tried to run from God. He didn't get too far. Hope you're not trying to run from God, too.

Just Let Go [6.06]Edit

Quinn: Is that really what's bothering you?
Debra: What? What... What the fuck else?
Quinn: Maybe you're jealous.
Debra: Are you kidding? I could give a fuck who you fuck. Just don't fuck with my investigation, you fuck.

Dexter: Sam. I'm here. Don't worry. I know it was Nick who shot you. I'm gonna make sure he pays.
Brother Sam: No. Don't do that.
Dexter: I don't understand.
Brother Sam: I want you to...to give a Nick a message from me.
Dexter: Yes.
Brother Sam: Tell him that I forgive him.
Dexter: What?
Brother Sam: You're the only one that I trust to do it. I didn't tell anybody. The boys from the shop, they wouldn't... They... They're not ready.
Dexter: You're wrong, I can't do this.
Brother Sam: You can.
Dexter: You don't know me.
Brother Sam: Yes, I do. I know about your darkness. But I also see your light.
Dexter: If there's light in me, I don't feel it. I just wanna hurt Nick. You don't know how much I wanna hurt him.
Brother Sam: You need to forgive him.
Dexter: I don't know how.
Brother Sam: Just let it go. Can't live with the hate in your heart. Eat you up inside. We gotta find some peace in life.
Dexter: Nick doesn't deserve it.
Brother Sam: It ain't about him. Dexter, if you don't let that darkness go, it won't let go of you. Let it go. Let it go.

Dexter: That's it. Brother Sam is gone.
Harry: Will you honor his dying wish?
Dexter: Forgive Nick? I want to.
Harry: What did Brother Sam say? Just let it go. Let go of the darkness this one time, and show Nick the light.

Nebraska [6.07]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: I've been lost before. After Rita died, after Lumen left...but now I've been found - Brian Moser, my dead brother, it's been a long time since I've seen him.]

Debra: It's Trinity. He's back. He killed again.
Dexter: He... What?
Debra: Two people. Family members, his wife, Sally Mitchell, and his daughter Rebecca. Witpro placed the Mitchells in the middle of Bumfuck, Nebraska, and somehow Trinity managed to track them down.
Brian: Well, not Trinity. You killed Trinity.
Dexter: What about his son, Jonah?
Debra: Trinity came after him, too, but Jonah survived the attack.
Brian: How lucky.
Dexter: Didn't he say what happen?
Debra: According to his statement, Jonah came home from work and saw Trinity push Sally down the stairs and begin to beat her. Jonah fought him off. Trinity ran. And Jonah went upstairs and found Rebecca dead in a tub.
Brian: Or Jonah killed them and is masquerading as the Trinity Killer.
Dexter: And this all happened in Nebraska?
Debra: Some town called Kearney.
Brian: Road trip.
Debra: Brother Sam's death is hard enough on you, I'm sure, and to top it off with this...
Brian: Let's go kill Jonah.
Dexter: I... I'm gonna need some time.
Debra: Whatever you need. Take the day.

Brian: [To Dexter] I know how much you hate it when people get away with murder. Everyone, that is, except for yourself.

Gellar: [To Travis] God's will doesn't stop because you decide to play house with your sister.

Brian: [To Dexter] Wouldn't it have been more fun to kill her than fuck her?

Jonah: After Rita Morgan died, Kyle Butler's face was all over the news as her grieving husband. That's when we realized Kyle Butler was actually Dexter Morgan.
Dexter: No one connected the dots for the FBI.
Jonah: We talked about it, but decided as a family you tried to help us. So we tried to help you.

Jonah: Get the fuck out of my house.
Dexter: Show me where it happened, Jonah. Your father killed your mother here, on this staircase?
Jonah: Police can be here in three minutes.
Dexter: Here is where her body was, and here is where you cleaned up your mother's blood.
Jonah: You're a sick fuck, you know that?
Dexter: Where'd you fight your father off? It was here, right? When you took the weapon from him and hit him - chasing him off?
Jonah: Yeah
Dexter: Swinging at him the whole time.
Jonah: Yeah, I was. Yeah.
Dexter: If that were true, there'd be blood on the wall, and on the ceiling here. But there's no spatter here.
Jonah: Hey, that's because I cleaned it up. Now go!
Dexter: With bleach?
Jonah: Yes.
Dexter: Not on this wall - because there was no blood on this wall, because your father was never here. I know for a fact that Trinity did not kill anyone in this house.
Jonah: Is that because you killed him?
Dexter: Yes - just like you killed your mother and your sister.

Brian: Why do you wake up your victims when they're on your table?
Dexter: I want them to know what they've done.
Brian: Bullshit! You like to watch the light go out of their eyes.

Dexter: [To Brian] How do you dispose of a body when you're miles from the ocean?

Sin of Omission [6.08]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Kids trust everybody. They trust the food you're giving them is safe to eat. They trust you to lead the way. They don't question your motives. Give a kid a mouthful of sugar and trans fat, and he's your friend for life. Grown-ups are a lot harder. My sister gave me a day off, and I took five. She has every right to be angry, but I can't tell her that I was in Nebraska. Or why I was there.]

Debra: Well, look what the fucking cat dragged in.
Dexter: The cat also brought coffee and doughnuts.

Debra: [To Dexter] Everyone thinks I gave you a week off in the middle of this DDK shit-storm, which is only slightly better than them knowing that I didn't give you a week off!

Debra: Why do you have a pen from the Shady Lane Motel at Kearney, Nebraska?
Dexter: Must have picked it up somewhere.
Debra: Yeah, at the Shady Lane Motel in Kearney, Nebraska.

Debra: [To Dexter] I'll fuck Masuka if this isn't our guy.

Get Gellar [6.09]Edit

Ricochet Rabbit [6.10]Edit

Travis: I remember, I came to your office. I brought you the John the Revelator sword.
Gellar: Yeah, you'd stolen it. University blamed me, and they fired me.
Travis: I told you we needed it because we are the two witnesses from Revelation 11.
Gellar: And I told you, you were delusional and needed help.
Travis: I convinced you, I made you see that we are the chosen ones. I proved it to you that you couldn't be hurt.
Gellar: You stabbed me with the sword three years ago.
Travis: And it couldn't pierce your flesh.

Gellar: [To Travis] You killed me, Travis, and then you stuck me in the freezer.

Dexter: I should have never listened to Brother Sam.
Harry: He was right about one thing - if you put your faith in the wrong thing...
Dexter: It can really fuck you up. It was a mistake to put my faith in Travis. From now on, I'm only putting my faith in myself.

Louis: So, the game is about homicide. And I know there's, like, a million video games out there about that. But the secret to this game is, and I haven't even told Jamie this yet, but in my game, you can be the serial killer.
Dexter: What?
Louis: See, you have these character choices. You can be Dahmer, Jack the Ripper, the Bay Harbour Butcher.
Dexter: [Voiceover: I am the Bay Harbour Butcher.]

Talk to the Hand [6.11]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: They have one hand tied behind their backs, but I don't. Not when I have Gellar's.]

Dr Ross: From what I do know about you, you feel things very deeply. Like your bond with Dexter. Where do you think that sterns from?
Debra: Maybe because he's the only guy in my life that I haven't dumped, or cheated on or...isn't dead.
Dr Ross: Is it possible that your feelings for Dexter are the reason that you've chosen men in the past who have been either inappropriate or unavailable?
Debra: Because they're what? Not Dexter? That's insane.
Dr Ross: Is it?
Debra: He's my brother.
Dr Ross: Yet you're not biologically related.
Debra: So?
Dr Ross: It would be understandable; given the past traumas the two of you have shared, for you to develop complex feelings for him.
Debra: Why the fuck are we even talking about this?
Dr Ross: You mentioned Dexter. He comes up in these sessions a lot. Aren't you curious as to why that is?
Debra: He's a huge part of my life. That's it. End of story.
Dr Ross: You getting upset?
Debra: Fuck, yes, I'm getting upset, because you're making it sound like I want to...be with him or something.
Dr Ross: Well, do you?
Debra: Look, I love my brother, but I am sure as shit not in love with my brother, if that's what you're getting at. We're done here.

Dexter: [Voiceover: I thought I was headed in the right direction. My dark passenger back behind the wheel - but if I was so sure I knew where I was going, how did I get so lost?]

This is the Way the World Ends [6.12]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: I guess it's fitting that I end up where I've left so many others. I only wonder if the world is going to be a better place without me. It's wrong what people say about dying. I'm not flashing back over my life, over the lives I've taken. I'm thinking about the life I'll miss. Harrison. I'll miss watching my son grow up.]

Woman: [To Dexter] Are you OK? You are very lucky. God is looking out for you.

Travis: [To bodies] I can't stay here much longer if you're gonna stink like that.

Dexter: [To Harrison] If some God or some force did save me today... I'm sure it was for you and not for me.

Debra: I love you.
Dexter: I love you, too.
Debra: You do?
Dexter: Of course I do.
Debra: I don't think you've ever said it before.

Quinn: What's the painting of?
Debra: It's the beast being thrown into the lake of fire. It's the last tableau.
Angel: Why do you think he smashed in the face?
Dexter: I can't imagine.

Dexter: [Voiceover: One thing I'm sure I have faith in is the staying power of animal tranquilizers.]

Debra: You were right.
Dr Ross: Debra, we can schedule a time...
Debra: I told him. I fucking told my brother that I love him, and he said "I love you" back. Not, "Me too," or something like that. He actually said "I love you."
Dr Ross: Wow. That's big, isn't it?
Debra: Yeah, I mean, I don't think he understood that I'm in love with him, but still, he said the actual words for the first time.
Dr Ross: So what do you think it means?
Debra: I don't know what the fuck it means. That's why I'm here. Is this just...horribly wrong?
Dr Ross: Does it feel wrong?
Debra: It makes...my whole life...every man I've ever loved, make sense. It's like I've always been looking for someone like Dexter or someone who's the opposite of Dexter as a way to avoid the fact that I'm in love with him. That's just clear to me now, and I want it to be clear to him. I want him to understand.
Dr Ross: OK. You want to tell him what you feel in a way that he can hear you.
Debra: Yes. Is this how it feels to be in control of your emotions?
Dr Ross: But you can't control his. You don't know how he's going to react.

Dexter: This is the way the world ends. Your world, anyway...
Travis: No! No, no! I'm supposed to finish enacting the seven keys.
Dexter: Sorry.
Travis: But I was chosen! I was chosen to bring about the new world.
Dexter: Chosen to kill innocent people?
Travis: No one is innocent.
Dexter: My son is. You tried to kill him.
Travis: God allowed his son to die.
Dexter: How could you believe in that?
Travis: Because I walk the path of the righteous.
Dexter: I've known people who believed in God. They would never use their faith as a convenient excuse to kill 10 people. You used God. It's not the other way around.
Travis: You... You are a shining example of how putrid man has become.
Dexter: I am a father, a son, a serial killer.
Travis: You're going to burn in hell.
Dexter: No, I think I belong right here. Because maybe there is a place for me in this world - just as I am. Light cannot exist without darkness. Each has its purpose. And if there is a purpose to my darkness, maybe it's to bring some...balance to this world. Because, let's face it, the world is going to be a better place without you.
Travis: The world is going to end. And when it does, I will be by God's side.
Dexter: You sure?
Travis: Yes.
Dexter: Good for you.
Travis: You're mocking me.
Dexter: No, I almost envy you. It must be nice to be so certain.
Travis: You're wrong about everything because you don't believe in God, but I have faith. I trust in God's plan.
Dexter: Really? Then it must be God's plan that you're on my table. Do you think it's God's will that I'm about to kill you? God has nothing to do with this! You are wrapped in plastic because I want to kill you.
Travis: This is not how it's supposed to be!
Dexter: Maybe this is exactly how it's supposed to be. Maybe everything is exactly as it should be.

Season 7Edit

Are You...? [7.01]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: It's simple human nature to keep little secrets about ourselves. I dye my hair. I watch internet pornography. But what if your whole life is a secret? A lie. And exposing the truth could destroy everything you are. What do you do? Run?]

Mike: His car wasn't found at the crime scene - so...how'd he get to the church?
Debra: I'm guessing that a man who was about to stab himself in the heart with a sword probably wouldn't see a long walk as a big deal.

Debra: I had this weird flashback of being on Rudy's table...Brian's tab...whatever the fuck you wanna call him - your brother's table.
Dexter: Sorry, that must have felt...not good for you.
Debra: It didn't. But what bothers me is that I was set up on that table the same way Travis Marshall was set up on the altar.
Dexter: Deb...
Debra: I mean how do you explain that?

Debra: Does that happen a lot? I...I mean I know I should know his hours and everything, it's just that I'm always juggling things, so...
Jamie: Oh, yeah. He works crazy hours - lots of nights 'til 3, 4 a.m.

Debra: Did you kill all these people?
Dexter: I did.
Debra: Are you...? Are you a serial killer?
Dexter: Yes.

Sunshine and Frosty Swirl [7.02]Edit

Debra: You make it sound like its OK - like you're the victim here. The people in that box, Dexter, they're the victims.
Dexter: Victims? A choir director who raped and murdered little boys? A married couple smuggling refugees who killed the ones who couldn't pay? A psychiatrist who manipulated women into taking their own lives?

Dexter: Sometimes the system doesn't work. Killers fall through the cracks.
Debra: Don't I fucking know it? I'm talking to one right now.

Debra: How does it feel, this need to kill? What do you call it?
Dexter: My dark passenger.
Debra: It sounds like you're possessed or something.

Dexter: [Voiceover: He never cared if anybody found the bodies. He just wanted a couple of days of sunshine and Frosty Swirl. Randall didn't change. He couldn't take life in prison. Can I?]

Buck the System [7.03]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: I feel trapped - like there's no escape. And it's not because I'm at the post office... She's got me penned in like a caged animal. And an animal is never more dangerous than when it's...backed into a corner.]

Debra: Can you promise me if that I wasn't on your ass that you wouldn't slip?
Dexter: I can promise you that if you don't get off my ass something bad is gonna happen.

Debra: [To Dexter] What is it about your personal law that is so much better than the one that the rest of us agree to live by?

Run [7.04]Edit

Debra: Dexter, I've been thinking a lot about Rita. About how she died. She died because of you. Because you were selfish. You have a son. Harrison is three years old. Someone needs to protect him.
Dexter: I do.
Debra: Someone needs to protect him from you.

Dexter: [Voiceover: I don’t run. I make people run. However, I do run when there’s a bull coming after me with an axe.]

Swim Deep [7.05]Edit

Hannah: [To Dexter] Look at us talking blood and gore like we're on a date sharing our first sexual experience.

Isaak: That's true. I don't know who you are.
Dexter: If you ever find out you'll regret it.

Dexter: [Voiceover: As kids, Deb and I would try to outrun the waves. But I would always end up diving under them, and swim deep - because I could withstand the pull of the tide. But Deb was always safest to chore. From here on out I'll face the depths by myself.]

Do the Wrong Thing [7.06]Edit

Debra: You had that tenant with that weird fucking name. Lumen? It was her, wasn't it?
Dexter: It doesn't matter.
Debra: It was. Jesus fucking Christ, Dexter. You moved your girlfriend into the house where Trinity murdered your wife so you could kill together?

Dexter: I wanna take you out.
Hannah: On a date?

Dexter: Come on, I'm just gonna keep stalking you.
Hannah: I'm just... I'm just trying to do the right thing.
Dexter: Do the wrong thing.

Chemistry [7.07]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Chemistry. I've heard some people have it - an attraction that can't be quantified or explained. Is that the reason behind this...loss of control? Maybe the desire to get Hannah on my table was just a way to deny the effect she has on me - so now what?]

Dexter: [Voiceover: She isn't drawn to my darkness like Lila. Or blind to it like Rita. And she doesn't need it like Lumen. She accepts both sides of me - the whole Dexter. So why am I walking away from this? Because when some chemicals mix, they combust...and explode.]

Sal Price: You broke into my apartment?
Dexter: No, I very carefully picked your lock.

Hannah: [To Dexter] Do you realize what happened? We were looking out for each other. That's big for people like us, maybe even historic.

Debra: I can't let this happen. There has to be some fucking justice. It's you, Dex.
Dexter: Me?
Debra: You know what I'm saying? She deserves it. I want you to make it right. Do what you do.

Argentina [7.08]Edit

Debra: But, go figure, some asshole broke into his apartment and disappeared all the files on Hannah, thank you very much.
Dexter: [Voiceover: You're welcome.]

Dexter: How do you think you're gonna live with knowing you're responsible for a murder?
Debra: Don't tell me what I can and can't handle. Turns out there's a fuck-all lot that I can live with these days.

Debra: Are you fucking her?
Dexter: Deb, I can explain.
Debra: I know what fucking is - no explanation necessary.

Debra: Are you in love with her?
Dexter: I don't know.
Debra: Is it because she's a serial killer? Does that turn you on or something?

Dexter: [Voiceover: Everyone wants an Argentina - a place where the slate is wiped clean. But the truth is Argentina is just Argentina. No matter where we go, we take ourselves, and our damage, with us. So is home the place we run to, or is it the place we run from? Onlt to hide out in places where we're accepted unconditionally, places that feel more like home to us - because we can finally be who we are.]

Helter Skelter [7.09]Edit

Isaak: Well, just where are you running off to all...helter skelter?
Dexter: I'm hungry.
Isaak: You've been tasked with killing two men, a loved one's life hangs in the balance of it, and...you're hungry?

Dexter: [Voiceover: Watch any western and you'll know a man out for vengeance should dig two graves. One for his enemy, and one for himself. I won't be needing mine. But I'll see to it that Isaak isn't alone in his.]

Dexter: [To Hannah] When you asked me on my boat if I've ever been scared like that, I have...twice. When I was three, seeing my mother murdered. And when I realized these past three days that I might never see you again.

Jurg: Isaak hasn't checked in yet. If anything has happened to him, it would be a shame to have to kill you after such a lovely meal.
Hannah: Well, let's hope that doesn't have to happen.

The Dark...Whatever [7.10]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Monsters, aliens, phantoms - none of them are real. The thought that an actual person could do this is too awful. So our imaginations create a way to make it easier to take. But even the strongest of imaginations can't protect us once we know the truth.]

Hannah: Oh, right. You've known him for what? 24 hours, and you think you understand him?
Dexter: Well, I have a sense for this sort of thing.
Hannah: Oh, yeah - you and your dark...whatever, part of you.
Dexter: That you don't think exists?
Hannah: Because it doesn't!

Clint: You got the devil inside you, boy.
Dexter: No, I think it's just me.

Dexter: [Voiceover: The dark passenger has been with me ever since I can remember - pulling the strings, running the show. But as it turns out, I'm no puppet.]

Do You See What I See [7.11]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: Christmas is a time of expectation. If you’re good, a red-suited fat man will break into your house and leave you presents. But Santa Claus doesn’t exist. The most wonderful time of the year celebrates a lie.]

Surprise, Motherf**ker ! [7.12]Edit

Dexter: We both knew it would come to this - one of us dead or behind bars.
Hannah: Yeah, except I always thought it would be you.
Dexter: Sorry.
Hannah: Yeah, me too.

Dexter: LaGuerta is the one who set me up.
Debra: So you repay the favour?
Dexter: Would you prefer my normal method of conflict resolution?
Debra: Not fucking funny.

LaGuerta: So what's your advice?
Tom: Get on your knees and start kissing anything anything that even remotely resembles as ass.

Hannah: How's the wrist?
Debra: Stronger every day. How's facing life without the possibility of parole?

Hannah: [To Debra] Except that you're the lieutenant of homicide and you wear a big shiny badge and yet, you know exactly what your brother is. Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone, they wouldn't believe me even if I did. But knowing that you have to live with it is...punishment enough. Still, I'm curious - how do you justify arresting me and not him? Or is the law just something you make up as you go along? Turning a blind eye whenever you feel like it or Dexter is involved.

LaGuerta: Debra, we've known each other a long time. Is there something you wanna get of your chest?
Debra: Yes. I think you've been under a lot of stress.
LaGuerta: You wanna know what I think? I think I'm not the only one who made a mistake, trying to protect someone they care about.

Dexter: [To Harry] Somewhere along the line the fake life that we created as a cover for me to kill became real. It's not fake to me...anymore. I don't wanna lose it. I'm gonna stand my ground.

Dexter: [To Hector] The normal reasons. I've never killed for the normal reasons. I used to think I was special - a special kind of killer, but tonight I'm not.

Dexter: [Voiceover: We all make rules for ourselves. It's these rules that helps define who we are. So when we break those rules, we risk losing ourselves and becoming something unknown. Who is Deb now? Who am I? Is this a new beginning, or the beginning of the end?]

Season 8Edit

A Beautiful Day [8.01]Edit

Dexter: [Voiceover: There's nothing like a crisis to help define who you are.]

Dr. Vogel: You can't kill me.
Dexter: Why?
Dr. Vogel: Because I don't fit Harry's code.

Every Silver Lining [8.02]Edit

Dr. Vogel: I know almost everything about you, Dexter - and not just because I heard it from your father, but because I helped create you.
Dexter: Create me? You sound like Dr. Frankenstein.

Dexter: [Voiceover: Miami makes more corpses than sunburns - and I'm thankful.]

Debra: [To Dexter] You really wanna play the 'what if' game? What if you weren't a serial killer?

What's Eating Dexter Morgan? [8.03]Edit

Dexter: [To victim] You're disgusting. Cannibal - a consumer of human flesh. There was a time I couldn't imagine anyone being what you are...and doing what you do. But now I realize I'm just like you. I consume everyone I love.

Scar Tissue [8.04]Edit

Dexter: The body forms scar tissue to close a wound. Has my sister begun to do the same? Eventually, scars fade. Who knows, with enough time, you may not even remember how you got them.

This Little Piggy [8.05]Edit

Zach: For what it's worth, you're wasting your time looking into my dad. He's an asshole, but he's not a killer.
Dexter: That's quite an endorsement.
Zach: In my family, that's about as good as it gets.

A Little Reflection [8.06]Edit

Dexter : Accidents happen... Shattering our sense of control, if not our lives.


Quinn : I mean, you think Miller's clean? Come on... You dig deep enough on anyone in this department, and you know what you find?
Dexter : What?
Quinn : The shit. It's there. I mean, we all got it. I know you know what I'm talking about.
Dexter : Yeah, I can't argue with that. We've all got the shit.
Quinn : Yeah. Big difference is, some people get away with theirs, and some people don't.
Dexter : Well, you're a good detective. It'll work out.


(Dexter) Some things happen to us by accident. Others are choices. There are parts of me that I can never share with my own son. But with Zach... Could I teach him? Am I ready for this, to be a spiritual father?

Dress Code [8.07]Edit

Dexter : Harry was a good teacher to me because he was normal, human. But can anything good come from putting two killers together? Whather it be student and teacher or whatever Hannah and I have? Or will it always end the same way... like this?

Are We There Yet? [8.08]Edit

DexterIs it possible Zach did this? Every contact leaves a trace. That idea is the foundation of all crime scene analysis. I should be focused on who bludgeoned Cassie and why. But instead ever since Hannah came back into my orbit, she's all I can think about.

Dexter Every contact leaves a trace. But the changes they are never what we anticipate.

Make Your Own Kind of Music [8.09]Edit

Goodbye Miami [8.10]Edit

Monkey in a Box [8.11]Edit

Saxon: I have a proposal. I figured the safest way to deliver it was to bring a referee.
Dexter: I'm listening.
Saxon: We walk away.
Dexter: Walk away?
Saxon: From each other. We take our separate paths, lead our separate lives. I forget about you, you forget about me.
Dexter: You went out of your way to kill your mother in front of me, and you expect me to forget?
Saxon: [chuckles] That may have been a little over the top, but I was trying to make a point.
Dexter: I missed the point.
Saxon: It was a test, to see if, this time, she would finally choose me. Well, we both know how that turned out.
Dexter: So, naturally you had to cut her throat.
Saxon: You know what it's like to kill. It can be cathartic... and it was. That's why I'm giving you a choice: Go on with your life, or come after me.

Saxon: Miami's a great town. Lots of Cuban food, nice weather, murder solve rate's about 1 percent...

[Dexter is about to kill Saxon, but at the last minute he feels something wrong]
Dexter: This used to be my favorite moment, but now... I don't want to be here. [awestruck] I don't need to kill you.
Saxon: Does that mean you're letting me live?
Dexter: No, you're still going to die — but now it'll be in the electric chair.

Harry: Dexter, are you sure about this?
Dexter: Yes.
Harry: I never thought this day would come. You don't need me anymore.

Dexter: [voiceover] I used to live my life at night in the shadow of my dark passenger. I lived in shadows so long until the dark became my world, but over time the people in my life flipped on a light. At first I was blinded, it was so bright, but over the years my eyes adjusted and I could see and now what’s in focus is my future, bright, brighter than it’s ever been.

Remember the Monsters [8.12]Edit

[Quinn is riding with Debra to the hospital]
Debra: I thought that was it, I thought I was going to die.
Quinn: No, you'll live forever.
Debra: I thought I was getting what I deserved.
Quinn: What you deserved? Why would you deserve that?
Debra: I've done shit I'm not proud of. Stuff I can't take back.
Quinn: I've done shit I'm not proud of.
Debra: Not the same.
Quinn: I know. You went through a bad time. But I've fucked up too, Deb, a lot. I think we get to make up for it, you know?
Debra: How?
Quinn: Do enough good in the world, it kind of cancels out the bad.
Debra: I think we'd need to save a busload of nuns or something.
Quinn: You're a good person, a lot better than most. Now that you're back on the force, you'll have a million chances to do good. Maybe even save that busload of nuns. [smiles] But if they're like the ones I had in school, let 'em go. Come here. [kisses her on the forehead]

[Dexter confronts Saxon in his cell]
Dexter: You made me see myself.
Saxon: What did you see?
Dexter: A trail of blood and body parts.
Saxon: [smiles] What a pretty picture.
Dexter: In one sharp moment, you took away this foolish dream that I could have a happy life.
Saxon: Is that why you're here? To tell me all this?
Dexter: No. I'm here to kill you with that pen.

Dexter: [Voiceover: For so long all I wanted was to be like other people. To feel what they felt. But now that I do, I just want it to stop.]

Dexter: [Voiceover: I destroy everyone I love. But I can't that happen to Hannah, to Harrison. I have to protect them from me.]

External linksEdit

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