- Artists who don't paint aren't artists.
- Milner, Frank (ed): The Stuckists Punk Victorian [National Museums Liverpool, 2005], p. 134
- From The Stuckist Manifesto (1999) co-written with Billy Childish
- It has become an ongoing national joke.
- He disrupted things and that’s fine, but now things have been shaken up so much that it’s been shaken up into little bits and the little bits have been shaken up into even smaller bits. We are saying let’s put it all back together.
- The Turner should be renamed the B&Q diy prize.
- The result of walking round Tate Modern is not an experience of the marvel of creative profundity which gives meaning to life, but more akin to the detritus of a dryly analytical bureaucrat reverting to an infantile stage during an extended breakdown.
- Doodles done by a lobotomised computer.