Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Wow.. You Zachs are funny:) Straitness, greatness, and simpleness can't be defeated.. for long. Where's my slice?Aqua Teen Hunger Force, later renamed Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1 and then Aqua Something You Know Whatever, (December 2000 – present) is an animated television series from the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming block. The show follows the exploits of three anthropomorphic fast food items: Master Shake, the milkshake; Frylock, the carton of French fries; and Meatwad, the aptly named wad of meat.
Main article: Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 1)
- Meatwad: What's wrong with your elbow?
- Romulox: Oh, you didn't get that surgery. I'm sorry.
- Meatwad: We don't have insurance.
- Romulox: Only two people in the world have the easy-flow elbow, and one of them happens to be named Bruce Willis.
- Carl: Look at my friggin' car, it's crushed to bejesus and back!
Main article: Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Season 2)
- Master Shake: Somebody's a little bi-curious!
- Meatwad: I ain't no bi-curious. I'm a man's man!
- Master Shake: Not anymore! I've planted the seed of doubt!
- Meatwad: You don't say that! I'm a man, and you...if you need me, I'm gonna be in the garage...[in a deeper voice] hangin' Sheetrock, 'round an engine I'm rebuilding.
- Master Shake: Look at the way he rolls...
- Meatwad: WHERE'S MY CHEWIN' TOBACCO?!!
- Master Shake: ...just like a woman!
- Master Shake: (Barely awake) George Lesenby...
- Frylock: How do you spell that?
- Master Shake: Uh... L-E-S-B-I-A-N.
- Frylock: (Writes it down) L-E-S-B-I-A-- Shut up! You're spelling lesbian!
- Master Shake: Aah, God excuse me.
- Carl: (With chicken wings in his mouth) He said lesbian. Hahahaha!
Main article: Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 1 (Season 8) The first season, where the name change takes place.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Main article: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am
- Master Shake: Well, what's this little to do?
- Frylock: My damn mail.
- Master Shake: And yet, it is in my hands. Explain that to
- Frylock: Shake, Shake. Do you see anything from golf course?
- Frylock: Open it, Shake, open it!
- Master Shake: HOLD ON! Have to open it first.
- Meatwad: Dang, boy. You dang doughnut in the dang fairway.
- Master Shake: This is freeway, not a fairway. You dang my way, okay?
- Frylock: I don't think you want to hit all this. It's not a good life.
- Master Shake: (After winning the tournament, Shake stands on a pedestal with a trophy in hand, with a cheering crowd taking his pictures) Yes, bitches! I am number one in your face! My urine tastes like champagne, I am number one!
- Meatwad: (Speaking into a microphone) Congratulations man, this is your first cup championship. We know we gotten close a number of times back in 2001 and 2003, that heartbreaker. But this time, you finally sealed the deal, all because of your caddy, who gave you some really good proper instructions, treated you like the robot that you are cause he's the puppet master pullin' the strings. Tell us... (Gives Shake the microphone) What's going thru your mind?
- Master Shake: Well, the big thing I think we all realized out here today is that this sport sucks, big time. (The crowd starts booing him) Golf is for losers. You wanna talk about a real sport, its called "professional football". Cause y'know what, I was scouted in College, I coulda totally gone pro.
(Red words appear out of nowhere reading "FINISH HIM!!", a parody of Mortal Kombat)
- Voice: Finish him!
(The crowd begins to panic; Meatwad and Frylock look up while Shake looks around to see where the voice came from)
- Master Shake: Who was that guy?
- Meatwad: That's Ultra-Mega chicken, up there. (Shake looks up) Closing in pretty fast.
- Frylock: Uh, scoot over, Meatwad.
(Frylock and Meatwad move out of the way when Ultra-Mega Chicken's foot lands on Shake, flattening him; another Mortal Kombat parody appears when the word "FATALITY" is shown)
- Voice: Fatality!
(Carl, Frylock, and Meatwad at Shake's burial)
- Carl: Why? Why is it always the best people... that gotta take time out of their day... to see dumbasses get buried?
- Meatwad: (Sadly) He always had such a zest for life. (sniffs) Why'd he have get smashed by that big chicken? (sniffs) He was so young.
- Frylock: No, he wasn't. He was pushing 40.
- Meatwad: Oh well, (someone farts)
- Carl: Hey, this is Carl, and yeah, I'm plenty pissed...at God for forsaking Kurt Warner in my time of need when he was a New York football Giant. And now He's working in completely mysterious and retarded ways by letting the Cardinals play in the Super Bowl. Listen, the state of Arizona is only good for one thing: testing A-bombs so the people from the good states don't get hurt. Pittsburgh's gonna be up by 24 before O-Town can say "My country, 'tis of thee," but I'm gonna give all you party bookies some Super Dull XLIII over/unders to keep your guests from killing themselves before halftime. Number of human interest stories about Larry Fitzgerald's dad during the pregame show—17; amount of interest I have in a human interest story about Larry Fitzgerald's dad—0. Number of Knight Rider promos we get to see during a booth review—87. Number of times John Madden will somehow work Brett Favre into the conversation and gently stroke his nipple with one of his fat outstretched fingers—9. Number of strippers Adam "Pacman" Jones slaps playfully during his pregame analysis—2; number of strippers Adam "Pacman" Jones slaps not so playfully during his pregame analysis—1; number of times Adam "Pacman" Jones slaps Bob Costas for gently asking not to slap a stripper during his pregame analysis—37. Number of concussions Ben Roethlisberger will suffer during the pregame stretch, "God Bless America", and the coin toss—2. Number of Jonas Brothers riding a surfboard with a computer-generated porcupine in an effort to raise your awareness of Tostito's brand Garlic and Cinnamon Corn Chips—3. Number of children Kurt Warner adopts during the second half—2; number of children Kurt Warner sacrifices to Jesus during the second half cause he was told to in a dream—3. Number of times Anquan Boldin kisses his fist and thanks Jesus for blessing him with running a successful 12-yard slant—1. Number of minutes Jesus actually spends watching the Super Bowl—0. Number of times Bruce Springsteen sings the acoustic song from the Philadelphia movie about the Vietnam POW with AIDS—0. Number of times Matt Leinart will say, "I'm goin' to Disneyland"—0; number of times Matt Leinart will eventually go to Disneyland because, at some point, he's gonna be that dude runnin' the on/off lever at the Magic Spinnin' Teacups—3. He's gonna get cut from that job too. Those are the actual Vegas over/unders through a true insider! Now go make some money, dummy, cause I'm pissed!
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