All Star Batman and Robin
Batman: [after Dick Grayson's parents are shot to death] He doesn't understand. He can't possibly understand. I couldn't, when it happened to ME.
Vicki Vale: There's something rotten in Gotham City. It wears a badge.
Robin: Batman's thrown me into a car that turns into an airplane and then a submarine.
Batman's completely nuts. He kidnaps a kid. He knocks the snot out of cops. He tries to sound like Clint Eastwood.
He's out of his mind.
And I've just signed on with him. To fight crime! How lame is that?
I guess I'm nuts, too.
Batman: [first words to Dick Grayson, yelled angrily at Dick] ON YOUR FEET, SOLDIER!!! You've just been drafted. Into a WAR!
Dick Grayson: Who the hell are you anyway, giving out orders like this?
Batman: What are you, dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman!
Batman: Dick Grayson. Aerialist. Twelve years old. Brave boy. Damn strong. Not that he's got a prayer of escaping my grip, but he's strong.
Vicki Vale: Batman--he kidnapped that boy! Why? Why?
Batman: My world. Welcome to my world, Dick Grayson. Bats and rats and warts and all. You poor boy. You poor little bastard. Welcome to Hell. Hell. Or the the next best thing.
Alfred: Don't go bleeding all over yourself. It's very important that you stop bleeding all over yourself.
Dick Grayson: [of Batman] Wait a minute--that's not his real voice! It's like he's doing some lame-ass Clint Eastwood impersonation.
Batman: So sleep tight, punk. Sleep tight, my ward.
Dick Grayson: Huh? Whuzzat? What the hell's a "ward"?
Batman: Shut up! I'll do the talking here.
Dick Grayson: Maybe you oughta pull over. They look serious. The cops, I mean.
Batman: You've got a lot to learn, kid.
Dick Grayson: [after his parents' deaths] Their brains splashed all over my feet! What's happening? What's happening? This is all crazy.
Batman: Grief is the enemy. There's no time for grief--there's no room for grief. Grief turns into acceptance...forgiveness. Grief forgives what can never be forgiven--never!!!
Batman: Like I said son. You've got a lot to learn. And your lessons start right here. Right now. Here's lesson number one: NEVER talk to cops! Not in Gotham. Never let a cop get near you. Not in Gotham. Gotham Cops.
Batman: Be brave, Dick Grayson. Be brave.
Dick Grayson: Yes, sir. I'll be brave.
Dick Grayson: So what do you call this thing, anyway?
Batman: The Batmobile.
Dick Grayson: That is so totally queer.
Batman: Shut up.
Batman: Great town, Gotham; you gotta love it--no! You don't!
Batman: [asking Dick his opinion of the Batcave] Pretty cool, huh? Whatta you say, Junior?
Dick: Yeah, I guess it's okay. I mean, I've seen better, but I guess this is okay.
Batman: [thinking to himself] (I don't like this kid. Not one bit!)
Dick: (upon arrival in the Batcave) First off, can I get something decent to wear instead of these tights? I mean, tights really blow chunks.
Batman glares at him.
Dick: Sorry. It's just I'm all sweaty, dirty, and I've still got my parents' blood on me.
Batman: Yeah, I'll see to it that you get some new clothes.
Dick: Thanks. (Batman turns and starts to leave.) Where are you going?
Batman: Work. I'll see you later.
Dick: What am I supposed to do now?
Batman: Whatever you want. You look like you could use some sleep.
Dick: And just where am I supposed to sleep? (shivers) Brrr, it's really cold in here!!
Batman: (disappears) It's a big cave. Sleep wherever you want.
Dick: Hey, what am I supposed to do about food? I'm really hungry!!!
Batman: Like I said, it's a big cave! Your food will present itself!
Dick: (jumps back after seeing a rat on the floor) Yeesh!
Alfred: That boy will NOT be reduced to eating rats, sir!
Batman: [after arguing with Alfred about giving Dick a cheesebuger and fries] Alfred just told me to go take a flying leap. This little brat is gonna ruin everything!
Batman: EAT GLASS, LAWMAN!!!Last modified on 15 February 2013, at 05:43