Alan Whitney Brown (born July 8, 1952) is an American comedian and writer who was a regular humorist on Saturday Night Live and The Daily Show.
- I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
- That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
- There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.